Title: It's Like Magic

Author: Kiki1770

Rating: T for Language

Summary: Why Arthur doesn't take Merlin to Taverns

Setting: Between Season 3 and 4

A/N: I have to admit, I've been dying to post this one since I've written oh...three or four weeks back. Needless to say, I'm super delighted about the response you fans have given my drabble series. And it's been a while since I updated, so expect a double, and if your lucky, triple, update today. I've got plenty of written drabbles in my stock. Haha.

Humor 3: Why Arthur doesn't take Merlin to Taverns (Long Drabble)

Arthur doesn't take Merlin to the taverns anymore. Those trips only ended in tears. Usually Gwaine's or so he told himself. The first time went a bit like this:

"Afternoon, what'll it be?" The plump and fine looking barmaid asked in a strong Irish accent as she quickly wiped down Merlin and Arthur's table.

"Two tankards of your coldest mead,"

"Why of course….Well, aren't you a handsome fellow?" She smiled flirtatiously. Arthur smiled smugly at Merlin who had rolled his eyes.

"Well…" Arthur began haughtily. "You wouldn't be the first to say it,"

"Oh not you, I…I was talking about your friend here." The lady explained smiling appreciatively at Merlin.

"I change my mind, coming here was a great idea," Merlin leaned in close and smirked.

"Shut up."

It was just a onetime thing. Plus, Arthur was pretending to be commoner at the time. Obviously his good looks were just too much for the poor barmaid to notice. Thanks to the bar fight afterwards Arthur didn't have to deal with Merlin's prattish smugness. However, when it happened a second time, Arthur all but had an aneurism.

"Arthur, Merlin, look over there. You see that beautiful waitress," Gwaine grinned at the beautiful woman who was now staring in their direction. She glanced at the two of them and smiled a flirty smile. Arthur raised an eyebrow, she was beautiful, beautiful enough to be a princess. Arthur returned the flirtatious smile. "I think she might ask one of you to dance."

Gwaine grinned like it was the most brilliant thing ever. Arthur rolled his eyes. "What do you mean 'one of you,' Gwaine? She was obviously looking at me." Arthur averred confidently and winked at the waitress. Merlin's jaw dropped.

"Hang on, how do you know she wasn't smiling at me?"

"Please Merlin, have you seen yourself?" Arthur replied half heartedly and began to run his fingers through his hair. Merlin threw his arms up in defeat.

"We should make a bet," Gwaine toasted. Lancelot, Leon, Elyan, and Percival cheered in response. "All put in twenty gold pieces!"

"Arthur," said Gwaine

"Arthur," said Leon

"Arthur," said Elyan

"Arthur," came a slow reply from Lancelot.

"Guess its Arthur," Merlin mumbled with defeat from under his breath. Gwaine laughed and threw his arms around the scrawny manservant's shoulder in an attempt to cheer him up. Lancelot looked at Merlin almost apologetically.

"Merlin," came a quiet response. All eyes turned to Percival who replied with complete confidence. The knights and Arthur laughed it off, while Merlin smiled ruefully.

Then came the moment they all waited for. Gwaine quickly shoved Arthur and Merlin so that they stood side by side. Arthur's knights tried to appear as casual as possible, as the beautiful maiden approached them.

"Would you like to dance?"She asked in a sweet delicate voice. Before Arthur could even blink, Merlin was dragged away by the beauty.

"Pay up!" Percival cheered.

That was the second time; it was outrageous. Absolutely unacceptable! Merlin spent four hours in the stocks for about a week and a half. The infuriating thing was that Merlin took all the pelting of fruit with a smug smile. He even had the audacity to snicker while serving meals and hum the bar tunes while doing his chores. Arthur spent weeks with gritted teeth and clenched fists. The third time was where Arthur drew the line.

"Alright Princess, Merlin, who ever talks to the most barmaids wins. Loser has to pay for tonight's drinks," Gwaine whispered to Arthur and Merlin, and pushed them into particularly crowded tavern. The number of flirty barmaids was incredible. Arthur snickered at Merlin's wide eyed look of horror. He was gonna win this hands down.

"It's alright Merlin, they won't hurt you," Arthur taunted. Merlin shot him a dirty look. "Well get ready to pay Mer-lin." He grinned and walked to the nearest barmaid. She gladly obliged in his flirting. He made his move on the next barmaid in less than three minutes. He was so gonna win this. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed his knights cheering for him, and Merlin looking like a lost puppy.

He watched Merlin nervously walk towards a crowd of ladies. He was practically quivering in his boots, Arthur snickered. And then…Merlin tripped.

"Woah!" He exclaimed and pitched forward into the arms of five barmaids. Arthur's jaw dropped.

"Oh you poor dear, are you alright?"

"My goodness lad, you look terribly famished. Has your master been treating you nicely?"

"Don't look so scared ducky, we'll fix you up a nice tankard of mead,"

Merlin smiled gratefully with his big blue eyes as nearly every barmaid or lady in the tavern began fawning over him.

"I lost," Arthur whispered. Behind him, his knights howled with laughter.

And so they very next day Arthur banished Merlin from every tavern in the city of Camelot.

Hahah, that one was SO much fun to write. I apologize for mistakes, but I read this many many times, and after a while my eyes just slid over the errors.

IMPORTANT: I'm currently working on two Freylin stories, one is a one-shot AU to 5x06. I have a drabble version of this written which I will post as soon as I can. The other is a multi-chapter fic about Merlin and Freya's past reincarnations. Look out for those.

Review, review, review.

Kiki1770