The sand feels soft and hot on their bare feet, as they walk down towards an oversized umbrella, under which Lincoln and Octavia lie. The sun is bright, but doesn't burn as much as the infinite closeness of their bodies. Lexa, sitting next to Lincoln, decides to focus her attention on the tranquil shore. She's always found some comfort in the sea. Clarke sits next to Octavia, digging her hands in the sand and watching as the particles slip through her fingers. They remain this way, enjoying the silence and the beach and the sand, until Bellamy arrives and ruins it all.
"What's this?" His voice startles them. "This isn't a beach party. Come on, let's go get some drinks and catch some waves."
They all turn to each other, wondering who will be the one to tell Bellamy to fuck off, but no one does. Clarke's eyes meet Lexa's and the spark it creates is enough to bring the blonde quickly to her feet.
"I'll go with you," she finds herself saying.
"Awesome," Bellamy grins and Lexa's stomach begins to burn. The two walk, talking aimlessly (Bellamy attempting to flirt and Clarke attempting not to notice), until they reach a nearby Tiki Bar.
"What are you having, princess?" Bellamy asks and Clarke does everything but cringe at the last word.
"Piña colada," Clarke says, and turns to look back at the beach while Bellamy orders. Even though she doesn't mean to, even though she tries so hard not to, her eyes go directly to Lexa. What harm can there be really in just looking? Taking in the delicacy of her skin as she stretches, as she lies under the sun? What harm can there be in imagining, daydreaming, fantasizing? Clarke running her hands across her body, caressing every inch... Leaning down and breathing on her skin, kissing, biting...
"Can you help me with these drinks?" Bellamy asks, interrupting her fantasy. Clarke stares at him, lost for a moment, painfully aware of the burning need in between her legs and the wetness that has suddenly appeared. "Clarke, are you okay?"
Shaking her head, Clarke nearly leaps forward desperately and kisses Bellamy, who in turn pulls her in to him almost aggressively. The kiss is hard and rough and Clarke doesn't like it, but she needs to take the image of Lexa off her mind and this seems like the only way to do that.
"Take me to your room," she whispers into his mouth, before kissing him again, and feeling him smile.
"You got it, Princess," he says, grabbing her hand and leading her back into the hotel, leaving the drinks at the bar. Clarke, with a knot in her stomach, follows behind him.
"Where are those two going?" asks Lincoln from across the beach.
"Oh, shit," Octavia groans. "Not again."
Lexa turns to see two figures disappear into the hotel and feels something in her go up in flames. "Again?" is all she can manage to say, without being to obvious about her undeniable jealousy.
"Clarke hooks up with Bellamy when she's either drunk, heartbroken, or desperate," Octavia explains. "And then regrets it immediately after."
Lexa nods, wondering which one of the three she is today. Not drunk, surely - so heartbroken or desperate? She wonders, then, if their sexual encounter at the Ark was due to one of these reasons too. She knows it didn't meant anything - just another one night stand between adults - but still, something in her whispers in her ear, saying that it was something more.
Clarke and Bellamy come back less than an hour later, a look of frustration on his face and a hint of sadness on hers. Lincoln and Octavia are surfing and Lexa, who is now walking by shore, letting her feet feel the coolness of the waves, doesn't notice that they're back until Bellamy is suddenly next to her.
"Hey there," he greets her, joining her in her stroll.
"Oh, hey," she replies dully, keeping her eyes on her feet, wondering where Clarke is and then reminding herself that she shouldn't care.
"Listen, sorry about the drinks earlier," he begins, "I got distracted, but, uh, I can make it up to you." He steps forward in front of Lexa so that she can't keep walking and is now forced to look up at him. There's a look in his eyes that Lexa can't place for a while, but when she does she almost ends up laughing in his face.
"Oh my god," she smiles. "Are you hitting on me? Right after you hooked up with Clarke?" Her tone isn't accusing, but rather one of disbelief. Bellamy's expression changes, and Lexa can swear he's turning red. "Look, don't even waste your breath. I play for the other team." She can see his eyes light up and immediately regrets opening her mouth.
"You're a lesbian?" There's so much lust in his eyes, it's disgusting. Lexa just nods and circles around him so she can keep walking peacefully, but he catches up behind her. "Maybe we can find someone to share," he half-jokes.
"Oh, fuck off," Lexa groans.
"Clarke plays for my team and yours, you know?" Bellamy goes on. "Maybe if you can convince her to..." Lexa can't believe what's she's hearing. She stops abruptly and turns to face Bellamy, a stone cold look on her face.
"I told you to fuck off," she says. "I don't want to 'share' anybody and much less with you. I am not your live porn show that you can get off to. I am not a lesbian that goes straight for you - or anybody else. You won't get anything from me so stop trying and fuck. off."
Bellamy nods, frustrated and defeated, silently walking away and cursing uptight lesbians under his breath.
"That was amazing," she hears a voice say. Turning around she finds Clarke, wide eyed and smiling, beautiful and delicate with the sun over her and making her blonde hair shine.
"You're not angry?" Lexa wonders, her voice ten times softer now.
"Why would I be angry?" Clarke steps closer to the brunette.
"I just insulted your ..." Lexa doesn't know what to call him, so she let's Clarke finish.
"He's not my anything." The air grows thicker between them, so Lexa turns to the ocean. "Lexa," Clarke speaks delicately, stepping even closer. "Look at me." Lexa obeys and turns back to face her, finding her only inches away. She steps back and Clarke frowns. "I didn't sleep with him," the blonde assures her and she doesn't know why she needs to do it, but she does.
"Oh."
"I kind of left him blue-balled," Clarke laughs and Lexa smiles at how beautiful that laugh is. "That's probably why he came looking for you. I mean - not that you're not sexy or anything because you are - I just mean that, um," Clarke stumbles for words and they both blush.
"It's fine," Lexa says and pauses before adding, "Why didn't you, though? You seemed pretty eager." She feels like she's crossed some sort of line and wants to immediately take it back, but Clarke doesn't seem to mind the question.
"I don't know," she admits, her eyes resting on Lexa's lips. "I'm trying to figure it out." Lexa is pulled closer by some force of gravity - as if Clarke where a planet and Lexa a helpless moon, stuck in a loop. But now it's Clarke who steps back. "I'll let you know when I do." Lexa nods and they both walk quietly, side by side. along the shore, a new sense of hope and danger and bravery in them.