A/N: I'm so sorry I'm being terrible about responding to you guys, I know I was way better at that with other fics. Really, this fic is just a guilty pleasure to get my mind off of a lot. I'm so grateful for the reviews, means so much to hear back from you guys.

Xxxxx

If it was awkward Damon didn't make it more so. He behaved as if this were all completely normal and acceptable behavior. Elena woke to the smell of coffee and Ric's heavy breathing flustering the small hairs on the back of her neck. Damon was in and out of the living room, cleaning off the coffee table and laying out coasters for their designated mugs. Hers was always the one with the red hearts and chip on the edge.

She breathed in the scent Damon left behind as he disappeared into the kitchen; earthy like when he rode with his car windows down. Elena took the moment to slide out from Ric's heavy arm and dart to the bathroom. As she peed what seemed like a gallon, she peered at her reflection. Other than her hair being a wavy mess, she looked close to normal. She winced as she tried to swallow, her throat rawer than before.

She heard Ric curse loudly after Damon reminded him of her strep and that they'd shared a bottle last night. Oops.

"Sorry," she said meekly when she entered the living room. This time Damon was in her usual seat and the couch was open next to Ric.

She took her seat and slowly sipped at the coffee, staring unfocused at Ric's bare toes tapping against the rug.

"So, I've got a lot of things to do today. Damon has assured me he will keep both your minds elsewhere and busy while I'm gone," Ric stated.

Elena looked at him in surprise. Just last night he was claiming the less she was around Damon, the better. Now he was leaving them alone together all day. She really couldn't keep up but after sneaking a look at Damon, she felt at ease about it. If he was calm and collected then she could be too.

Once Ric left, Damon pulled her up from the couch by both hands and spun her around, giving her a gentle shove towards the stairs, "put on something comfortable, we've got a long day of teen friendly activities planned."

Elena wrinkled her nose and hoped silently that he wasn't taking her to the mall. Maybe he hadn't noticed, but she wasn't a typical teen. In fact, she preferred online shopping. Plus, didn't he remember she was trying to get over strep, she felt like crap.

After choosing a pair of dark denim shorts and a simple coral colored spaghetti strap shirt, she made her way down the stairs, stopping at the bottom to sit and push her feet into her black Converse.

"Ready?" Damon asked, jiggling his keys on one finger in the air.

When she passed him to exit the house, she caught a whiff of bourbon on his breath. Nauseating but if she could handle it she'd take a few shots too. She wasn't sure why, but her nerves were tingling with a nervousness she couldn't quite tamper.

"Where are we going?" she asked as he cranked the car. It roared to life, shaking and quaking under her body as she snapped in the seatbelt.

"Everywhere. Anywhere but your living room," he replied, shooting her a look that let her know he was as thrilled as she.

He set a pair of sunglasses over his eyes and gave her seatbelt a little tug before speeding off towards town. She fiddled with the radio until something she recognized came on. She recognized the intro plucking guitar of Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. Her mother played it on repeat during their summers at the lake house. Elena remembered dancing around the house, dusting all the surfaces and opening windows to let in the cool air coming off the water; honey tea and off key singing. God she missed those moments.

"What are you smiling at?" Damon asked over the beat.

"Memories. Love this song," Elena replied, turning it up and closing her eyes to move a little to the music as wind rustled around her face from the cracked window.

When she opened her eyes again she saw that he was gazing at her with a smile. A real smile complete with teeth and crinkled eyes. Her heart leapt uncontrollably at that.

"A smile!" she exclaimed, tilting her head and grinning right back.

He looked away and his smile fell into a small grin, shaking his head in two tight shakes. For a moment she felt good. For a moment this all felt right and perfect like things used to feel when she was a typical teen dancing with her mom in the kitchen. Maybe he felt it too because the grin never quite left his lips as the road crawled underneath and the familiar Mystic Falls square came into sight.

Damon backed into a spot across the street from the only café in town. It was early enough that it wasn't packed and there were plenty of outdoor tables left empty.

"I still can't parallel park," she admitted as she exited the car and surveyed the perfect parking job Damon had executed.

He tore his sunglasses off his face and tossed them into his seat before shutting the door with a loud clank of heavy metal.

"How did you pass your driver's test then?" Damon asked, nodding for her to follow him across the street towards the café.

When she caught up and entered the café under his arm that propped the door open, she replied, "The guy was a friend of my dad's and he took pity on me. I mean, I got the car into the spot…just not straight. I may have taken out a cone in the process."

Damon was still slightly shaking his head at her when he ordered her a coffee and pastry as she stood behind him, still feeling a nervousness that she didn't usually feel around him. Usually it was annoyance or disdain. Then it transformed to respect and a feeling of close friendship. Now it was confusing and being near him was difficult. He wasn't hers to touch, yet he'd been inside of her and she'd grasped the very shoulders that she stood so close to now.

She was just leaning in to breathe him in when he turned around with her coffee and she took a few stumbling steps back. He looked at her curiously before asking slowly, "Do you want to sit outside?"

She nodded and looked at her feet, turning quickly to pick a table that the sun was hitting just right so that the umbrella cast a shadow across their seats. It was a beautiful day. The air was cool and sweet enough to perk her right up. Her eyes fluttered shut as she took a sip of the delicious coffee, letting out a satisfied sigh.

The waitress turned up with her pastry a moment later. It smelled amazing. Elena wondered how Damon could turn down a bite which left her wondering just how often he needed blood to stay full. She knew Stefan had to feed more often because animal blood wasn't nearly as nourishing as human blood. He was easily fatigued and relied on a large supply he kept stashed away. But now, he was probably stronger than Damon with all the ripping he was doing at Klaus's side.

As if Damon knew her thoughts had turned to Stefan, she snapped her attention back towards him when he started talking. He wasn't usually a talker. He never needed to fill in the silences with idle chat or meaningless conversation. Stefan was a little different, always interested in her day and her life. He'd even dedicated a date to asking her questions with that warm voice and sincere smile that always stirred something deep inside. She'd happily rattled off facts about herself, giddy with new love. Damon had always been darker. She used to think his sarcasm and dry sense of humor was rude and brash, but now she saw that it was all just a mask. Getting closer to him and seeing the pain in his eyes and the deep care he had for his brother had shown her an entirely different side to him. Sure, he still tossed out jokes and acted like he didn't give a crap about anybody outside his small circle, but underneath he was a loyal soul. He may complain about it but he'd lay down and die for any one of them, she knew that. She knew a lot more than she let on.

Elena listened to Damon fill the silence with a story from his past. She wasn't sure why he brought up this memory out of all the thousands he could touch on, but it left her laughing and wishing she'd have known him long ago. It was hard imagining him as just a guy like Matt, Tyler or her brother. Just a guy with dreams and mistakes; embarrassments and achievements. Now he was a man who looked like he was in his twenties but had a soul older than the old man walking with a cane past them now.

She wondered how many years passed before he gave up on dreams. She wondered what it was like to live so long, knowing time would never catch up. It was alluring in a way, living forever. But to be sad for decades because you didn't have a time limit to force you to find happiness…

She felt for him then. He carried a lot of weight, more than she'd ever understand, more than he'd ever share. Her eyes roved his face, taking in the image of each feature, his stature. It was like he was made to be beautifully broken; built to falter. He was a product of Kintsugi; the ancient art of taking something broken and filling in the cracks with gold to make it beautiful in its imperfections. He didn't try to hide his cracks, never tried to deny them. It's what made her heart ache when she looked at him.

"Sometimes I'm tempted to compel you to tell me everything running through your mind," Damon admitted, tapping his thumb absently atop the table.

She blinked and realized she'd been staring too long, her brows furrowed in thought and lower lip growing swollen with all the gnawing under her blunt teeth.

"Just thinking about you," she admitted, looking down at her coffee cup. Her hair fell from its tucked refuge behind her ears, cascading in long sheets around her face.

She smiled when he reached with both hands to tug the ends of her hair, asking lightly, "What are you doing, writing a novel in there?"

She flicked her eyes up to meet his without raising her chin, her reply slipping away when their gazes locked. She only looked back down when he blinked, dark raven lashes distracting her from the intense ice blue. His fingers fell from the tips of her hair and laid flat in front of her, the chestnut strands brushing feather light against his knuckles as the morning breeze rustled around them. Without thought she raised a hand from her lap to run a finger over his daylight ring. It was cold to the touch and just as bulky as Stefan's.

"I wonder what Ric's doing today," she murmured, dropping her hand and lifting her eyes to meet his again.

Damon slid his hands off the table and stretched them above his head, yawning loudly. Her eyes drifted down the length of him, a vague memory of the way his muscles moved under his bare skin as he delved inside of her. She had to stop this. She didn't know how.

He replied as he stood, fishing his keys out of his jeans pocket, "drinking, reading, grading papers and fiddling with his di-" he broke off at that.

Elena closed her eyes and shook her head at the unwanted image and stood to follow Damon to the car.

"Yeah but he could have done all that with me at the house. Think he's up to something?" she asked as she settled into the passenger seat.

Damon placed his sunglasses low on his nose, peering at her with a seriousness, "I'm trying hard not to think about what he could potentially be up to," he tore the glasses back off and slid them gently onto her face, "you should too."

She felt her hopes spike at what Damon was alluding to. Maybe Ric was fighting for them to get Stefan back. Maybe he'd been plotting and planning all along so that they wouldn't have to.

"Ummm," she blurted out nervously, trying hard to keep her mind from plunging into what he could possibly be planning. She really wasn't in the mood for suicide attempts and swallowing Damon's coppery blood.

"Puppies and kittens! Puppies and kittens!" he exclaimed. She'd laugh if she weren't in such a frenzy.

The thoughts were still there, her brain becoming a cruel traitor. She cursed a few times under her breath, looking around the car frantically for something to distract her.

Then his hands were on her cheeks and his lips thrust against hers. She stopped breathing for a moment, her lips parting out of pure instinct. His lips followed suit and fell into the spaces between. She felt it in her belly first, her mind completely blank and her senses on overload. All thoughts of Ric's plans to save Stefan were replaced with the feeling of Damon's cool lips warming against her flaming hot mouth. It was a slow and simple kiss that tasted like coffee and bourbon. It was her that darted out her tongue to first graze his lower lip and then push against his.

Her lungs hurt so she exhaled through her nose as he sucked her lower lip in to bite softly. She let out a moan which caused her eyes to pop open. She guessed this was what happened when she shut off her brain and let her body take over.

He pulled away then as if it were easy, starting the car and turning up the radio. It did the trick because her mind was completely involved with all things Damon, Stefan's rescue a dim light fizzling out in the back of her mind.

Xxxxx

When they pulled into the movie theater parking lot, Elena couldn't help but feel that nervousness creep back in. Her lips still throbbed from his mouth and she mentally admonished herself for the dampness that had collected between her legs. She wondered if he could sense what he did to her.

"There's plenty of movies playing around right now, you can pick," Damon stated softly.

"K," she replied just as softly, following him to the ticket booth.

She stayed away from the romances and picked something plot heavy with explosions and spies. She turned down popcorn but let him buy her a blue slushy and just smiled around her straw as he droned on about food coloring and sugar. He was always lecturing Ric and her both about what they put into their bodies as if somewhere along the way he'd become a health nut even though he could live forever and off of blood alone.

When they took their seats behind a couple snuggled close together, Damon leaned to whisper in her ear, "I'm hungry, I'll be right back."

Through her shudder of the light tickling breath he left against her skin, she whispered back, "What? Where? Who?"

He just smirked and rolled his eyes, waving her off. Mouthing don't worry. She sank low in her seat as he disappeared out of the theater, her mind running through thoughts of him snatching some innocent theater worker. She'd never seen him feed, or Stefan. But she'd seen vampires attack.

The couple in front of her started making out so she took to sucking down her drink and tapping her foot nervously against the concrete flooring. The lights dimmed and the screen lit up with a few crackles and pops before previews started playing. She became involved in one particular preview for a movie about a vampire hunter and a world run by some clan of brutal vampires that turned the human race into slaves and food. Hm, sounded plausible if Klaus set his sights broader.

Damon slid next to her, snatching the slushy from her hand to take a quick suck from the straw before setting it in the cup holder on the other side of her. He pushed the plastic arm that separated them up. She wasn't sure why, because he didn't move any closer or throw an arm around her. The thought hit her suddenly that this all felt like some jacked up first date. Of course their first date would be forced, complete with a kiss to keep her mind off of saving her boyfriend. Nothing had ever happened normally between the two of them. It was their mantra.

The movie ended up being full of sex and had a heavy romantic undercurrent to the spy story. Of course.

Halfway through Elena became chilly but didn't want to admit it because he'd probably pull her close and she really needed to regroup and reflect before putting her body close to his again. She thrust her cold hands between her pressed thighs and tried to move around slightly to shake the shivers as the AC kicked on inappropriately high.

"Stop being such a girl," Damon murmured in her ear suddenly, snaking an arm around her waist to pull her flush to his side. With his free hand he pried her hands from between her thighs, holding them both under his on his lap.

"Stop being such a guy," she retorted which earned her a small chuckle. She shivered against the way his abdomen felt as it shook with laughter and the scent of him under his arm; rich and sweet.

She spent the rest of the movie fighting off the urge to fall asleep against him. The warmth of his body and hour of the day was enough to make her drowsy. The ache in her throat was acting up again, causing her to swallow repeatedly against it.

When the movie let out Elena let out an audible sigh as they stepped into the warmth of afternoon sun. The car ride was pleasant; oldie music seeping into the wind tossed air and a warmth that wouldn't leave Elena's calm belly. The nervousness had seemed to slip away for the moment.

"What would you like for lunch?" Damon asked as they slowed to a stop near the square.

"Soup maybe. My throat is killing me," she admitted hoarsely.

"Ah, sorry baby girl. Soup it is," he said lightly, the term of endearment rolling right off his tongue. She knew he was just being playful with her but she couldn't help but swell under it anyway. He really could be an impossibly sweet and adorable guy. Usually he wasted that charm on cockiness and the fact that he knew he looked the way he looked. She supposed after decades of women telling him so, it had gone to his head. Though, it was the cracks and broken pieces, held together beautifully, that she found so compelling. Those telling moments when he faltered or flew, thinking nobody was paying attention.

They returned to the same café, sat at the same table. The air was much warmer now with the sun settling straight over their heads, but the breeze remained cool and crisp across her skin. The soup was warm and felt searing, but perfect. Kind of like Damon.

Elena about dropped her spoon at that thought. What the hell was wrong with her?

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I…," she sighed and ran her hand through her hair, looking out towards the road. It was busier now, cars and people bustling by.

She continued even though she didn't completely want to hear the answer, "I've been wondering if your blood has…side effects." She glanced at him then, peering deeply into his pensive stare.

His chin was resting against the palm of his hand and she watched his fingers drum lightly against the side of his face. He watched her for too long and it made her feel exposed; made her question things.

After dropping his hand, he looked away and replied, "You mean like an attraction? A feeling of deep connection and need?"

She almost felt relief that maybe she wasn't a horribly weak person. Maybe it wasn't her fault that she was slowly falling for her boyfriend's brother.

"Yes…a lot like that," she admitted softly, her belly jerking a little when his eyes drifted back to hers.

He stared hard and long, his face unreadable. Suddenly that nervousness started to ease back in like a poison to her veins.

"No," he said flatly.

Her eyebrows pushed together slowly, "No…what?"

He reached over to take a bite of her soup, leaving the spoon to dangle from his mouth as he replied, "No, vampire blood is not akin to love potion."

She felt a flush creep to her cheeks but luckily she'd been flush from the strep all day so it was probably unnoticeable. Elena felt a flick of irritation. He had set her up for that one. She walked right into it.

Luckily the waitress came by with a pitcher of water and refilled Elena's glass.

"Thank you," Elena muttered softly, trying to gulp down the water without killing her throat in the process.

"Hurts?" Damon asked touching his own throat to show her what he meant.

She nodded, keeping her eyes on anything but him.

"I had a few more activities planned but I can take you home if you'd like," he stated gently.

She nodded again, standing wordlessly. She tugged her shorts down and followed him to the car; at some point during the short car ride to the Gilbert home, she fell asleep.

Xxxxx

Elena jerked awake at the feeling of being touched. It took her a moment but the familiar blue eyes brought her back to a calming reality.

"Sorry," he murmured, letting his hand fall from under her chin and offered it to help her out of the car.

She took it and let him pull her up.

The house was still and quiet, Ric out doing whatever it was that he was doing. Elena collapsed straight onto the couch, belly down, arms tucked under her head. Damon plucked her legs up by the ankles and sat down, letting them drop onto his lap. Her eyes closed as she felt him wiggle her shoes off and toss them behind the couch with loud thuds. Then it was his fingertips, so light, running up and down the arch of her feet. She twitched under the sensation and mumbled with a tiny smile, "Stop it. Tickles."

"Don't let it," he shot back, never stilling his fingers.

"I can't," she said sleepily, wiggling her toes against the tickle.

"You can."

He was right, when she stopped thinking about it and it was just his fingers tracing little lines down her bare feet, it was incredibly lulling.

Elena didn't wake back up until his hands had fallen heavily against her; one on her feet, one on her left calf. Sneaking a look over her shoulder, she smiled at his sleeping face. He looked younger when he slept; innocent like a little boy.

She dropped her head back down, closing her eyes just as Ric entered the front door. She pretended to be asleep because she wasn't quite ready to switch gears and play the 'let's not think about Stefan and pretend everything is normal and drink ourselves into oblivion again tonight' game. She heard him walk to the living room in that heavy footed way he always did, even when he was trying to be quiet.

"Damon," he whispered.

She felt his hands jerk against her and then lift off, leaving her skin cool where his warmth once was.

Ric whispered again, "Everything go okay today?"

"Yeah, it was fine," Damon replied, a sleepiness to his words.

"So no…slip ups?" Ric pressed.

"She didn't try to off herself and I kept it zipped up if that's what you're asking," Damon replied, shifting ever so slightly under her feet before slowly standing up and easing her feet onto the couch.

"Good. Stay for dinner, need help peeling potatoes," Ric stated. The sound of a bottle unscrewing signaled the drinking had already begun.

"Yeah, sure," Damon sighed.

They left the room and this time Elena fell into a deep sleep in the silence that followed their departure.

Xxxxx

Elena followed their voices, sleepily rubbing her eyes and about running into the door frame as she exited onto the back deck. It was too humid tonight, rain was coming. They looked up from their seats, growing slightly somber at her approach.

She wordlessly stepped in the spaces between their legs that splayed out adjacent from one another, reaching down to grab Ric's drink from his hand. She swirled it around, peering at her morphed reflection a few seconds before letting the liquid slide down her throat. It burned like it always did, more so with her raw skin.

"It's hot out here," she murmured, dropping the empty glass back into Ric's poised hand.

She turned to pluck the bottle from Damon's hand, her fingers brushing over his. He was always so cold, no matter the heat that sweltered around them. She loved the way he seemed to heat up against her and melt into her lips and body. These thoughts slammed her out of nowhere. Her filter was gone, her walls knocked down. It was easier than thinking of Stefan…fighting for Stefan. To do that meant to think of how to get him back and that just led to suicide.

She filled Ric's glass back up and took a swig from the bottle.

"Thirsty?" Damon asked softly.

Elena thrust the bottle almost roughly into Damon's waiting hand, this time her nails catching the marble skin of his fingers. He didn't flinch.

"Got any better ideas?" Her tone was clipped. Maybe it was the heat. Really, she was just frustrated with the entire situation. She felt helpless.

"No," he replied in a way that made her feel guilty. He sounded gentle and worried. How she could read that all from one word, she wasn't sure. But she could.

"Sit," Ric suggested just as gently.

So she sat in the space he left her on the wooden lawn chair, her side pressed against him. It wasn't long before the humidity caused them to perspire against one another but it felt good when the breeze finally hit.

Her eyes closed as the light wind whipped tendrils of her hair around her face, most of it sticking to her damp neck. She opened them when she felt the air shift and Damon's feet plod away and into the house. She watched him through the soft glow of the kitchen window, all set jawed and sullen. He returned with a glass of ice, already crunching a piece between his teeth.

She watched a little dribble out and over his full lower lip and she found herself darting out her tongue as if it were on her own. When he stooped over them, he fished a cube out and held it between thumb and forefinger.

Her eyes trailed up to meet his and out of reflex she opened her mouth, letting him drop it on the tip of her tongue. He blinked away and clanked around in the glass for another, dropping it in Ric's mouth. Then, he nestled the glass between their pressed thighs and laid back almost languorously in his seat, folding his hands behind his head to peer at them.

"Thanks buuu-ddy," Ric said slowly; questioningly.

"Dinner's almost ready," Damon stated.

"What are we having?" Elena asked, rolling the ice around in her mouth. It melted quickly, leaving her craving more.

This time she ran one over her skin, trailing slowly over her collar bone and hollow of her throat. It melted in drizzling drips; tear drop-like stains collecting at her chest. She hadn't meant it in any other way than to cool the heat that seemed to radiate at off her skin, but when her eyes flicked up to meet Damon's….

She'd caught Damon peering at her before in ways that let her know a thing or two in the past. She was never sure if it was Katherine he thought of when fondness would cross his face. She never looked too far into it because that would mean stepping over the lines that clearly needed to be there when Stefan was at her side. She'd seen the way he started to look at her when Stefan left them; the way his eyes held hers for moments too long. Or maybe he'd been looking at her like that all along and she'd chosen to look away at all the wrong moments.

Something was changed whether she liked it or not. If Stefan were to walk up those stairs this moment, he wouldn't be able to tear her gaze from the way his older brother looked at her right now.

"Okay. Enough. Let's go eat," Ric said. He stood quickly, leaving her side cold and moist with their combined sweat. When he offered her a hand, she felt it grasped too tightly but didn't tug away as they trailed after Damon towards the kitchen.

They drank wine with their food. Damon barely ate. She wondered if he was still full from whoever he fed from earlier. Probably. What did she know.

She tried to help with the dishes but Damon chuckled softly under his breath when she swayed a little under the thick alcohol buzz.

"You'll break them all, go sit. I've got this," he told her in that voice that reminded her he was human once.

So she sat with Ric on the couch, listening to him shuffle a deck of cards. He was humming something unfamiliar and low, dusty blond hair falling in his eyes as he leaned on his knees to shuffle over the coffee table.

"You want to play something?" Elena asked, poking a bare toe into his side.

"You think you can play? You're slurring all your words," he smiled, sounding all fatherly.

"Think I should switch to water?" she asked earnestly. She didn't like to worry him. He looked worried. When Damon entered the room she realized he wasn't worried about the drinking.

"Maybe you should, maybe we all should," he shrugged.

Damon snickered and yanked the cards out of his hand, "we all know that won't happen."

Elena watched him expertly shuffle the cards at an almost inhuman pace. His fingers were so long and delicate. Like how they trailed down her thigh the second time they made love. Made love? Was that what they did? It was all so confusing.

If he weren't compelled and she were willing, would it be different? Would it feel different?

She excused herself to the restroom. She had to pee.

God they talked loud, did they realize she could hear them perfectly well from the hall bathroom? Maybe they thought she was too drunk to listen or comprehend.

"Then why am I here Ric?" Damon asked.

"Because as wrong as it all is, you two pining over one another is keeping your minds off of something far more dangerous. It's been easy really Damon. You two in a room and I can literally jab through the sexual tension with a goddamn stake," Ric replied.

Made sense really. She hadn't thought much about Stefan other than how bad and wrong it was that she was thinking more about Damon in his absence.

She decided to go to bed. She didn't want to hear them argue and she didn't want to feel the guilt all trickle back in. It was too much right now.

"Nicely done. Truly. Now I hope since you've got us all figured out you've been of actual use. Somebody needs to bring my brother back home. If she can't and I can't then it's going to have to be you," Damon said.

She could tell he was drunk too. Elena hovered near the stairs, watching them get tense and involved. She had to grip the banister to steady herself.

"You think I haven't been working on that for you? For her?" Ric asked hoarsely and gritty.

"Change the subject," Damon said flatly, tossing the cards onto the table. They slid and scattered to the floor.

"Maybe you should head home now," Ric sighed.

"Yeah," Damon agreed, his eyes finally drifting to hers. He looked defeated. She hated that.

Something inside her clicked. It was as if the last domino fell as she peered into his eyes through the dimly lit Gilbert living room.

She whispered quiet enough that it would reach only his ears, "Don't leave."

His brows moved slowly downwards, eyes squinting slightly as his head tilted to the side. Elena made her way up the stairs, forcing herself to look away. She closed her bedroom door and flicked off the lights, shedding her shorts and bra before moving to her vanity to drag a brush through her hair.

She turned around and he was leaning against her dresser across the room. He didn't make a move, just stood there looking thoughtful; curious even.

"Ric can't do it on his own. One of us has to help him," she said slowly.

"Elena…" Damon warned.

"It can't be me because of this," she said shakily as she uncontrollably reached blindly for the glass cup she had left on her vanity the night before.

It broke easily as she smashed it against the wood. Her blood trickled hot and thick down her neck. That's when he finally moved.

"Goddamn you," Damon hissed near her ear as he tried to put pressure to her wound with his hand, biting into the other and thrusting it into her mouth.

She swallowed him and felt the pain subside almost immediately. When he stepped back, unsteadily and with a heaviness, she saw that he understood.

There was a knock at the door and he slipped into the bathroom as Ric talked to her through the thin wood.

"I'm fine, goodnight," she assured him.

Elena walked to her stereo and turned it on, hoping to mask whatever would come next. She locked the door and pulled her shirt over her head, turning slowly to face the eldest Salvatore. In nothing but her white lacy underwear, she bit her lip and exhaled slowly, willing herself to really look into his eyes.

As the music played almost sensually in the background as if she'd planned it that way, his eyes shut and he clenched his jaw.

"Do what you need to do," she whispered, "please, this can't go on forever."

When his eyelids finally drifted up, raven lashes drawing up like curtains, she felt her belly jolt at the way he stared back. He took two steps, then three. His breath was warm and laced with honey sweet alcohol across her face. She felt it cold when he tilted his head and slowly, so slowly, moving his mouth to her bloodied neck. First it was just his lips, grazing feather light and parted against her racing pulse. Then it was the very tip of his tongue; little circles and then long and flat against her skin.

Her breathing became deep at the sensation of his cool mouth on her skin, so close to that dangerously pounding pulse. She wondered what it felt like to be bitten there. Not brutally like Klaus had latched on, but seductively tender like Damon was in all things.

She realized when his hand barely brushed into hers that their bodies weren't even touching. It was just his mouth at her neck and this static crackling between their hovering skin. She could feel him like she'd always felt him; close, always close.

He took a nudging step forward, her back hitting the wall, his knee pressing into her leg. When he pulled away she felt his lips trail across her jawbone and leave a single and small kiss. The crackle of moist skin echoed in her ear even after he backed away to pull his shirt off and toss it somewhere behind him.

Aside from the music, there was her breathing that filled the room. Her chest rose and fell with each shuddering breath and she found it hard to look him in the eye. But he grasped her by the chin and forced her to. His eyes flicked back and forth, something deep behind the way he peered into her. His eyes were so dark, pupils dilated and pushing the ice blue into thin rings. Then his lips were on hers and she gasped into his mouth at the sensations it sent straight to her gut.

Her gasp turned into a sharp but soft cry when he pinned her tighter against the wall with the press of his pelvis to hers. Then, with no effort, he picked her up, her thighs wrapping tightly around him. She stared down into his eyes as his lips rested at her chin and he carried her to the bed. Her hair fell around their faces like a curtain, shutting everything else out.

Then she was on her back, arms splayed above her head, chest heaving as he pushed his clothes off with pointed fluidity. She noticed his lips were crimson like after a feed and a sudden piercing desire slammed through her body.

Elena felt like she was on fire from the inside out. She didn't know if it was the alcohol or this buried lust she didn't even know she had caged up…but she felt like she could cry or laugh or scream or all of the above. He didn't look angry or guilty as he watched her with that pensive stare. Not this time.

She felt the bed dip all around her as he hovered over her body. Her eyes trailed up the taut muscles of his arms, watching them tense and roll as he lowered himself to his elbows. Their noses brushed for a moment before his lips found hers once again. This time it was her that deepened the kiss. It was her that captured his lip and tangled her tongue with his. It was her that traced the angles of his face with shaky fingertips. She couldn't tamper it down, not this.

His lips slid moistly down her chin and he made his way towards her breasts, dropping slick kisses here and there before taking a nipple into his mouth. Her head rolled to the side but her eyes cast down and she saw that he kept his eyes on hers. This was different than before. He was really engaging and it made all the difference. To look and be looked at; it was felt deep inside.

"Is this real?" she heard herself ask aloud in a whispery hoarse voice. It was Damon Salvatore. It was the big brother to her boyfriend. It was the man who snapped her own brother's neck and placed a necklace so gently around her own.

"Close your eyes," he murmured. So she did. His lips moved to her navel and she quaked under him.

Then his fingers were slipping inside her panties, moving them down and down until she wriggled out of them.

"Do you feel it?" he asked as he placed a kiss on her forehead, the bed adjusting against his weight.

"Yes," she replied immediately, her hands grasping his back, nails digging in. She didn't even have to think. She knew what he meant. She felt what was always between them; quelled up and locked away with guilt. Forbidden and wrong, yet when finally released, it was everything.

"It's real," he said simply, just as he thrust gently inside her.

She let out a gasp and then a hoarse cry.

"Shhhh," he shushed her, filling her with a roll of his hips.

Xxxxx

A sharp sliver of light was peeking through her parted curtains, casting a harsh light directly onto her eyes. So she rolled over, her nose bumping into something soft.

Her eyes shot open and everything came rushing back to her. She rolled onto her back, her hands flying to cup over her mouth. Oh my god.

She slowly snuck a peek at Damon, who was of course awake and witnessed her entire mini breakdown. He moved the hand that was under his cheek to pull her fingers from over her mouth, holding them on her chest. Her heart pounded wildly under their palms.

"I'm going to be busy today. Away. I'll leave some blood. You stick close to Ric and keep your phones nearby," he said, his voice slow and tired.

"Okay," she whispered, her fingers twitching under his.

She watched him slide out of bed to retrieve his clothes, averting her eyes as best she could. Morning afters were usually her favorite. She loved waking to gaze at Stefan's profile, the way his lips settled into the slightest of smiles. She loved running her fingers up and down his abdomen, shivering as he nibbled her ear, reminding her what they did the night before. She'd never had a morning after with Damon. This felt…different.

The bed dipped when he sat on her side, his lower back pressing warmly into her hip, as he tugged on his shoes. She fought the sudden urge to run her nails lightly down his spine. Instead, she pushed herself up, bringing the sheet up with her to cover her bare chest. He turned his head to look at her, his eyes a darker blue than usual. She felt herself leaning closer to peer at them, blinking rapidly when he started to speak.

"Don't overthink it to death today. K?"

She nodded slowly, knowing her face betrayed her. Of course she would overthink it. She offered herself to Damon last night. She offered and he took it. All in the name of Stefan.

"Be careful," Elena called to him as he exited her room.

He hovered in the doorway for a moment, gripping the door frame before tossing her a short nod.

Xxxx

Ric didn't make the day easy on her. He was a bundle of nerves after he silently watched Damon slice into his skin with a steak knife and fill a glass that now sat next to the orange juice in the fridge. Elena had walked in with her loose pajama bottoms and a fresh plain gray tank.

She averted her eyes when Ric stared her down as Damon subtly squeezed the back of her neck in a gentle and wordless goodbye.

"Keep her busy," was the only thing he said to Ric as he'd left.

They didn't talk much while she helped him wash the cars in the morning sun. It felt good to be outside, doing something active. Her pajama bottoms ended up soaked so she just tugged on her shorts from yesterday and examined her pruned fingers as Ric made them sandwiches for lunch.

"Apple?" he asked.

"Sure. Thank you."

They ate outside on the back deck, a few glasses from last night still set on the table. Elena ate her sandwich much quicker than Ric, realizing her appetite was really swinging back. She noticed he winced as he swallowed a bite.

"Uh oh…" she murmured.

"Yeah. I thought I got lucky but guess not," he sighed.

"Sorry," she added, offering him a sympathetic pout.

He just shrugged and took their plates inside, leaving her in the stillness of the midday warmth. Cars whirred in the distance as dogs barked and voices carried from the neighborhood. Her cheek rested on her shoulder as she resisted the urge to trudge upstairs for a nap. Her skin smelled of him and it caused her chest to clench.

Her eyes popped open at the sound of a glass clunking onto the table next to her. Damon's blood settled in the cool glass; thick and stark red.

"Just in case," Ric said, sitting down to face her solemnly, "we need to talk."

Elena slumped in her chair, sinking down so that her feet were stretched under his chair.

"I'm worried about you," he finally said.

She looked at her teacher and guardian. Though, now she was eighteen and didn't need a guardian really. The thought of being on her own sort of scared her honestly.

"I know. I'm sorry. I…I don't know what to do or how to feel anymore," she admitted, fiddling with the strap of her shirt.

When she finally lifted her eyes to meet his, she saw he was resting his elbows on his knees and really watching her. He did look worried. But talking about it wasn't going to change the fact that Damon was compelled to sleep with her whenever he did the one thing he needed to do; bring home Stefan. It wouldn't change the fact that she was developing feelings that were foreign to her for the forever twenty something vampire. She didn't know what to do with that.

"It's going to hurt," he added gently.

"I know that," she murmured. She hadn't let herself fully think about the extent of it all but the image of Stefan returning and the pain they'd all be in was enough to make her eyes water.

"I don't want you to blame yourself. You're young, way too young for all this. What I'm saying is, they've been down this road before. They are going to be okay," he continued.

She flinched at that. He was right. They were brothers and she was well aware of what Katherine had done between them. She knew what Ric was trying to say. In the end they were still brothers but she would just be the girlfriend that faltered and fell for both. It was a place she swore she'd never be. But what Ric didn't understand was that it wasn't because she was some little girl. He had no idea how it felt to be looked at or touched by Damon Salvatore. He didn't know about the small flame that had been inside her well before any of this that flickered when the eldest brother was near.

She loved Stefan still. It was just painful to know that she was capable of feeling things for his brother too. It left her feeling ashamed and confused.

"I didn't mean to make you upset," he said softly, grazing her knee with the light touch of fingertips.

The hot tears trickled down her face, she didn't bother swiping them away. Her face was slack and unmoving. Rarely had she cried tears so freely, they seemed to fall on their own accord because she was motionless.

What he said next surprised her. Maybe he did understand in a way. Maybe he didn't think she was just some mindless hormonal teenager that fell for any guy she slept with. She knew that was a little harsh though, she knew better than to put such little faith in his view of her.

"Damon is…I know how he is. I also know he cares very much for you. I trust him with you. I just want you to think about this for a minute. I need you to see it for what it is even if it hurts."

She couldn't imagine an outlook that she hadn't already rolled around in her mind. It all hurt no matter how she looked at it. But she listened anyway.

He blinked a few times, sucking in a slight breath before stating, "Damon knows Stefan isn't lost for good. He will come back eventually. Could be decades from now. Could be long after you and I are gone. But he will come back. Damon is trying to get him back now. Not for himself, not for you. He's doing it for Stefan."

Her throat tightened but she swallowed against it, saying hoarsely, "I know that. He's said that."

Ric pursed his lips and nodded slowly, "Damon will do anything for those that he loves. He loves Stefan more. He has to, to be able to do this. Do you see what I'm saying?"

She felt her eyes narrow. Of course Damon loved Stefan, she knew that. But what did loving him more have to do with anything. Her gut twisted up when she rolled it around in her head. She imagined Stefan coming home because Damon fought to bring him here so he could live a life with Elena. Not so that he could have his brother back sooner. He would put Stefan's feelings before his own…and hers. She bit her lip. She knew what Ric was trying to say now. She knew exactly what Damon was planning.

It hurt.

xxxxx