Chapter Twelve: Permanent
A couple of days later, Cas was asleep in the chair in Dean's room, when Dean woke. He gasped awake and started to fight against the tube that was breathing for him. Cas didn't wake up, he was a sound sleeper. Thankfully, someone was walking by and hurried in to help Dean. Dean didn't remember what had happened. The last thing he remembered, he'd been playing his guitar for Cas. Dean wondered what was going on. He looked up at the nurse who was working on helping him. Dean asked, "What happened? Why am I here? It's my heart, right?" He asked, firing off the questions quickly.
She explained to him what had happened, and Dean had to admit, he was incredibly scared. Dean listened to everything she had to say, and he wondered when there was going to be a heart. He looked at her, his voice shaking, and he asked her if she knew how to get some papers that would reverse a DNR. Dean had to change it, he didn't want to just leave the world and leave Cas and Frankie alone without him. Dean was glad that she said she had the forms and she could bring them in a few minutes.
Dean called out, "Cas! Cas, baby, wake up." He wished he had something to throw at him. Dean also couldn't move, he was hooked up to five million machines. He was glad when Cas woke up, a bit groggy, and immediately crossed to him and kissed him. Dean kissed back, cupping Cas' chin. When Cas pulled back, Dean said, "I can't…. I'm so sorry, baby. I wish…. I told the nurse I wanted to sign papers reversing the DNR." That brought a smile and tears to Cas' face, and Dean had to admit, that made him really happy. He watched as Cas sat down with him on the bed, being careful not to knock anything loose.
He brushed his hand through Dean's hair. Cas was so glad that he was awake. "I am so glad you woke up." Cas was so scared though. Dean was awake, and he was going to reverse the DNR, but he still had so little time. Cas brushed his hand across his cheeks, wiping his eyes. Cas reached out and took Dean's hand, holding it tightly. "I love you so much, Dean." Cas said, he was so scared this would be the last time he got to tell him that. Cas couldn't keep the tears from brushing his eyes. His hands were shaking.
"Dean, what if…. What if you don't make it?" Cas asked, and he was crying, and Dean reached up to wipe some of the tears off his face. Cas hadn't let himself say that out loud yet. He was surprised that he was saying it now. Cas just, he was so scared that he was going to lose Dean forever. Cas fingered Dean's blankets, and he wished he could speak without crying. He didn't know what he was going to do if he lost Dean. "They… they still don't have a heart for you yet." Cas hated that they were still waiting. He knew that it sounded awful to be wishing for someone to die for Dean to have a heart, but he couldn't help it. Dean deserved to live.
"Cas, I promise, we're gonna get through this. What did the lawyer say about the custody hearing?" Dean asked, he needed to know. When Cas looked reluctant, he shook his head. "No, I want you to be honest. Tell me what's going on. You adopted Frankie, we're going to be fine. Tell me what the lawyer said about the custody hearing." Dean said, and Cas sighed, but he told him. Dean thought that it sounded not too bad, things were at least paused until he was out of the hospital. So this at least had a small silver lining.
Reaching out, he took Cas' hand. "I am so sorry that we're going through this. But honestly, it's not so bad. We know that I need a new heart. I got moved up on the list." Dean knew that he probably didn't know as bad as had been. Dean wondered if his husband would tell him if he asked. Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to know. What if he'd died on the table or something? Dean wasn't sure he could handle that information. Dean wondered if he was going to make it though. He was trying to be positive for Cas, but he was just as scared as he could be. Dean hadn't ever been so scared in his life. Dean had to look away, his eyes were starting to fill with tears.
Cas reached out and brushed some of his tears off his husband's face. "You're right, Dean. We're going to be fine." Cas said. He didn't know how he was going to make it through this, but he had to. Dean was the best thing that had ever happened to him. "Tell me what you're thinking. I need to know. If you're scared, I need you to tell me." Cas said, he wanted to know what Dean was thinking. At the moment, Cas was trying to calm down. The nurse came back in with the papers, and Cas was a lot relieved. Cas watched as she got them set up on the table that was attached to Dean's bed. Cas watched as she made sure to check Dean's vitals again, and he had to admit, he was feeling a little less nervous.
She left after she was finished, and Cas looked at Dean. "Is there anything I need to sign?" He asked, as Dean started looking through the papers. It had been a long time since Cas had had to sign something, and he didn't know what he would do if something was going to happen to Dean as a result of something he had to sign his name to. Cas knew that he was overthinking things. Cas was saved with saying anything when his cell phone rang. "Hello?" Cas asked. Frankie was with John and Ellen. He hoped it wasn't them with a problem with her or something.
"Cas? It's Jo." She said. Jo was checking on Dean. She had just gotten back from a doctor's appointment. The baby was doing well. Jo had to admit, she was really happy about that. Jo was putting together some food to bring to Cas, she knew that he hadn't been eating much lately. Jo didn't want him to start wasting away. "I'm checking on Dean, and I'm stopping by the hospital, I'm bringing you something to eat." Sam was working. Thankfully, the charges with Balthazar were done, the judge had ruled that Sam was acting in defense of Jo. She was making some sandwiches and there was chicken salad.
"I am concerned about how you've been eating. And I have some good news." Jo was glad that they finally had good news. She didn't know what they would do if things didn't start turning around. It was long enough that they'd been dealing with all of this. Jo had made turkey and cheese sandwiches, and there were cookies. She knew how much Cas loved cookies. Jo hoped that Dean was still hanging in there. "Does he have a heart yet?" She asked, she had to know. She had been praying as hard as she could.
Cas was glad it was Jo. "Hey, Jo." He said. "Actually, Dean's awake." He said, and was rewarded with her squeal of happiness. He stepped out of the room so he could talk to her, and Dean could concentrate on the papers. "I appreciate you bringing food by, I am actually starving." Cas didn't know what he was going to eat if she didn't come down. "He's signing papers reversing the DNR." Cas let out a sigh of relief. He had been praying for this, and he was so glad that Dean had awakened so he could fix that. Cas couldn't imagine losing Dean as a result of that.
"Have you heard from John and Ellen?" He asked, he hadn't gotten a text from them yet. Although it was only 3 in the afternoon. Cas could hardly believe it was so late. He'd been sleeping far too long. Cas didn't know what he was going to do if he had to be here too much longer. Cas didn't have a problem with work, he could work anywhere, it's what was the handy thing about being a freelance writer. Cas brushed his hand through his hair, and he saw Dean's doctor coming down the hall. "Oh, let me call you back, Jo, Dean's doctor is here." Cas said, he really had to know if they'd found a heart.
Dean looked up when his doctor came in the room. Dean didn't even know who his doctor was. "Do you have good news?" Dean asked. He was glad that someone had told the doctor he was awake. Dean brushed his hand across his scruffy cheek. He had to shave. In all honesty, he needed a haircut too. Dean didn't like to grow his hair like Sam did. Dean teased him about it all the time. "We haven't officially met yet, Doc." Dean said, and the doctor stepped forward to shake Dean's hand.
The doctor shook Dean's hand. "I'm Dr. Taylor, it's nice to see that you're awake, Mr. Winchester." Dr. Taylor looked up as Cas came in. "Hello, Mr. Winchester." He said. Dean watched as Cas sat down next to Dean on the bed, and reached out to take his hand, lacing his fingers through his tightly. Dean looked at Dr. Taylor. "So what's the skinny? Is there a heart?" Dean asked, wondering if that was why he was in here. He really hoped that that was why he was here, and not just because Dean was awake. He still had to breathe with machines, and he really didn't want that to be a thing anymore. He wanted to be off the machines and out of the hospital.
"Actually, Mr. Winchester, we do have a heart for you." Cas' eyes rose to his hairline. "Are you serious?" He asked, and Dr. Taylor nodded. Cas could barely hear as he went through the donor for them, there was a car accident and there was an 18 year old girl who had a heart that was perfect for Dean. Cas' eyes were filling with tears. He couldn't believe it. Dean was getting a new heart. Cas buried his head in Dean's neck, he was so happy he could barely speak. Dr. Taylor kept talking, he was telling them that Dean was going to go under the knife in just a couple of hours, the heart was on the way from Houston.
After he'd made sure they knew all they needed to know, he left them alone. Cas didn't know how they had gotten so lucky. He lifted his head, and kissed Dean. "I can't believe you're getting a heart. An 18 year old heart." Cas said, he couldn't believe how lucky they were. It was unbelievable. Cas couldn't believe it. "Oh, I have to call Jo back." Cas said, reaching for his cell phone. He couldn't believe it. They were going to have to call everyone. Tell them that Dean was finally getting a new heart. Cas looked into Dean's green eyes, and brushed his hand through his hair. "You're going to be okay. I can't…" Cas could hardly breathe, he was so happy.
Dean kissed him again. He didn't know how this had happened. "I'm getting a heart, baby." Dean said, trying out the words. He was still in shock. Dean didn't know what he was going to do with a healthy heart. He hadn't ever had one before. He also couldn't believe that he was lucky enough to have an 18 year old heart. Dean had to admit he the first thing that he wanted to do when he was out of the hospital was eat the biggest cheeseburger known to man. Dean knew that he couldn't just go crazy but he couldn't help wanting to go a little crazy, he'd never been able to just go that nuts. It wasn't fair.
He watched as Cas went out of the room to call Jo. As he did, John came in. Dean wasn't able to keep the smile off his face, and his eyes were actually misty. "Dad." He said, as John came in, carrying a bag of food from the deli down the street. Dean sniffed, it smelled good. "Dad, they said they have a heart for me. It's coming from Houston, I'm going under the knife in a couple of hours." Dean said. He couldn't believe it. He watched as John sat down and started taking out food. He handed Dean a turkey sandwich. Dean put the finished papers on top of Cas' bag so it was out of the way and John set some apple chips next to his sandwich, and a bottle of Vitamin water.
John had brought food for Cas too, he knew that Jo was on her way, but he'd already stopped at the deli when he spoke to her. Ellen was closing up Harvelle's for the night, and he was glad she'd decided to, since Dean was going to have surgery. John couldn't believe that Dean was finally getting a heart. He reached out and clapped Dean on the shoulder. "I am so glad that you're finally getting a heart, kid." John didn't know how they had gotten so lucky. John looked up as Cas came into the room, he still looked like he was in shock. "You okay, Castiel?" John asked, reaching into the bag and handing him a bag of apple chips and a ham sandwich.
"I'm fine, Dad." He sat down to eat, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. "I can't… I'm still kind of in shock." Cas said, as he watched Dean opening the bag of apple chips. He was glad that John had brought food, although apparently Jo was too. Cas thought that it was okay though, they'd have to be here for awhile, and Cas knew he could get some of the nurses to keep anything cold that they might have that needed to be cold. Cas was just glad that they were finally catching a break.
Dean watched as Cas sat down next to him in the bed, he seemed to not want to be far from him now that he was awake. Dean didn't mind at all. He brushed his hand through his hair. "I can't wait till I can get a haircut. I'm going to look like Sammy before too long." Dean smirked, as he opened his Vitamin water. He couldn't wait till he could at least have a burger. Dean liked turkey sandwiches but they so weren't the same. Dean was nervous about the surgery. He knew that he needed it, but he was still nervous about what might happen.
"I'm so scared." He said, looking at the floor. Cas touched his shoulder. "What if…. What if I don't wake up?" He asked, Dean had been worrying about that ever since they told him he'd need a new heart. Dean didn't want to not wake up. He knew it was a possibility. Dean shivered as he thought about what might happen if he didn't. He had a life now. He didn't want to leave his family alone without him. Dean's eyes brushed with tears. He looked into Cas' eyes. "I can't… I have to wake up, Cas."
When Dean's voice broke on that last sentence, Cas could feel his heart breaking. Cas brushed some tears off Dean's face. "I promise you'll wake up, Dean. You are going to get through this surgery and you're going to live a long time." Cas hated that Dean was so scared. Cas kissed him softly, and reached to touch Dean's chest. "This heart, it's bad, and they're going to put the new one in here, and it's going to be fine." Cas didn't know how he could make Dean feel less scared. He was scared too. But he had to have faith that he was going to make it. Cas had to keep the tears from gathering in his own eyes.
Cas didn't know what he was going to say to get Dean to believe that he was going to be okay. "I have to believe that you're going to make it, Dean." John had fallen quiet, trying not to interrupt their moment. He didn't know how this was going to shake out, but it had to work in his favor. He didn't want to lose Dean. "They're very good here, they know what they're doing." Cas had spent the better part of a week here, he knew the place inside and out. He knew exactly what they were like. He knew that they were going to do the best job by Dean that they could.
"Doesn't make me any less nervous, Cas." Dean said, shaking his head. He knew that Cas had to believe that. And honestly, he should too, because he shouldn't go into the surgery being nervous. That wasn't going to help anything. He didn't know how to be positive about this though. He was so nervous and so scared. Dean picked up an apple chip and ate it, his hands shaking as he put it in his mouth. Cas reached out and touched Dean's arm. Dean didn't know what he was going to do if this didn't work. He knew that he was going to die if it didn't, but he didn't believe in Heaven or Hell. So he was just going to be floating in space or something. Or haunting Cas. He didn't want to do that. Plus, Dean wasn't sure he really believed in ghosts. Sam did though.
This is when John broke his silence. He reached out and touched Dean's knee. "Dean, you're going to be fine, kid. You're going to make it through this. You have to think positively. You can do it." John didn't want Dean to go into heart surgery thinking he wasn't going to make it. John was scared as hell himself, he didn't want to lose Dean. He knew that it was a possibility, but they had to be optimistic. He kept Dean's glance, and he hated that Dean was looking like he was going to cry. John was reminded of the little four year old boy that he'd had to tell his mom was gone. It made his own eyes well up with tears.
"Dean, please. Don't go into this thing thinking that you're not going to make it. They tell you that that has an effect on whether you will or not. I need you to be sure, because I'm scared as hell too." John said, his voice breaking a little as he looked into Dean's eyes. Cas was full out crying, wiping his eyes with a tissue. "We've known this was coming for a long time. You were always going to need a new heart. You got the raw end of the deal when it comes to hearts. But Dean, you deserve to make it through. You deserve to have th life you want. You have always been thinking of others before you think of yourself. You deserve the best that life has to offer." He wasn't able to get through that without his eyes watering.
Dean didn't know what to say to that, and he could only look at his father with tears in his eyes. He didn't know how to say what he wanted to say. Dean just hoped that his father was right. He couldn't even consider the alternative. Dean knew that he'd almost died. It didn't fill him with confidence. He knew that this was it. It was now or never. And that scared him more than anything ever had his entire life.
The surgery took hours. Cas fell asleep in the waiting room, he hadn't wanted to be away from Dean, he wanted to be as close to him as he could. It was decided that Bobby would watch Frankie at his place and the rest of the adults would be at the hospital. Cas was nudged awake, the last time he'd been awake it had been dark. Cas sat up groggily, and looked into the face of his father in law. "Is…. is it over?" Cas asked, instantly awake. His entire body was on fire, he didn't know what had happened and he was more scared than he would admit out loud. Cas waited with baited breath, it was hard to tell if it was good or bad by the look on John's face.
"They're done… Dean's in his room now. It was…. It was touch and go for awhile." John's rough voice was unsteady. "He almost…. We almost lost him. They… they said he's stable now, but they still have to monitor him and make sure that his body doesn't reject the heart. But they said that he is most likely out of the woods now. Dean's going to be okay, Cas." John said, his eyes filling with tears as he spoke the words. It was something that he'd never thought would happen. He had honestly thought that the way Dean lived his life would have taken him from them way too soon.
When those words sunk in, Cas felt like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. His eyes brushed with tears, and he barely heard John when he told him that Dean was still under the anesthesia. Cas nodded slowly, and he wondered when Dean was going to wake up. It was… Dean was going to be okay. Cas knew that it would have been touch and go, and if he was being honest with himself, he'd been expecting to lose Dean. For him to have to raise Frankie all by himself. This was good though, this was the best thing that could have happened. Cas looked around, still feeling in shock. Dean had made it. He was going to be okay. Ellen and Jo had gone home to get some sleep, so it was just him, John, and Sam here. Sam was asleep too, and Cas was touched that John had woken him first.
He watched as John moved to wake Sam and give him the news. Cas had heard John tell him that he could go in and see Dean, and he got up and moved on autopilot to Dean's room. He didn't know how they had made it through this, but Cas honestly felt like it was going to be okay now. Cas stepped into Dean's room, he was still sleeping, but he looked so peaceful. Cas moved to sit next to the bed, his hand reaching out and touching Dean's chest, right where his new heart was. Cas pulled down Dean's gown a bit, and looked at the incision, they'd sewed him up, and there was a huge bandage covering it. Cas felt his eyes brimming with tears as he looked at it.
Dean was okay. He was going to be okay. Cas hadn't lost him forever. Frankie was still going to have her father around. Cas felt the tears slipping down his cheeks, and he reached out and took Dean's hand. "It's going to be okay, baby. We're going to be just fine." Cas managed to say, he really hoped that Dean could hear him. Cas had to believe that he could. Cas wiped his eyes with his free hand, and watched his husband breathing in and out. He was breathing with the help of machines, but Cas knew that was going to change. Dean was going to get to go home. Cas hadn't lost him. That filled him with such a sense of peace and happiness that Cas could barely believe it.
"You're going to be okay."
One week later
Dean was so tired of the four walls of his hospital room. The good part was he was moved out of the ICU wing. Dean was so wanting to go home. They had told him that his body had accepted the heart quite well, and so he wondered why he was even still here. Dean wanted to go home. He wanted to sleep in his own bed with Cas. They were going to move the bed back up to the master bedroom after Dean had been home for a few weeks, because Dean was finally going to be able to live a normal life. Dean didn't even know what that was going to be like, since he'd never really had a normal life.
There was a clearing of a throat in the doorway, and Dean looked up. A blonde girl he'd never seen before stood there. She looked to be a teenager. "Um, can I help you?" Dean asked, wondering why someone who didn't know him would come to visit him. Dean looked at her, she had blue eyes that reminded him of Cas' blue eyes.
Claire Novak took in the look of Dean and wondered what she was going to say. "I'm Claire Novak. Castiel is my uncle." She said, she was Gabriel's daughter. Claire didn't know what she was doing here. Her father would kill her. And honestly, she was missing her mother. Claire knew that Cas' husband was here, and she wanted to know her uncle better. She hadn't even met him. Claire watched Dean's eyes widen. "I'm…. my dad would kill me if he knew I was here. But I have to… I want to get to know Castiel. He's my family. And…"
Then there was the fact that she was a lesbian herself. She didn't think that her dad was going to want her around when he found out. Claire lifted up her duffel bag. "I need to talk to him. I can't…. I can't go back home." Claire was trying to circumvent her father tossing her out of the house. She knew it was going to happen, and she didn't want to stick around for it. "Cas is the only person I have to go to. My dad…. He's not going to want me around."
That was news to Dean. "Um, he's here, he went to get something to eat. He'll be back in a few minutes." Dean watched as she came inside, and sat down in one of the armchairs by the bed. "I guess I'm your Uncle Dean." Dean said, he'd never thought of the possibility of Cas' nieces and nephews being in his life. Since Cas had said that his brothers didn't want to be in his life. "Is your dad Michael or Gabriel?" Dean asked, not sure what he wanted the answer to be. He had been told that Gabriel had come when he was unconscious and had asked Cas to help out his wife. Dean didn't know with what, but Cas had told her she'd died. Dean felt bad that she'd had to die, but he knew that it wasn't on Cas. Honestly, the audacity of Gabriel had surprised him. Not in someone's life for so long and then ask for a favor? He didn't blame Cas for turning him down.
"Gabriel's my dad." Claire said, watching Dean curiously. "He's…. He's not going to…" Claire took a breath, and she was quiet a moment before she started speaking again. "I'm a lesbian. My dad is going to want to disown me and kick me out. I left a note for him that I was leaving and I came here. Cas is… he's the only person I can trust to take me in. Uncle Michael would kick me out too. Although I know that he's a total hypocrite, because he totally hooked up with some guy last Christmas."
That was interesting news. Dean didn't know how to digest that she'd left home. Dean was starving himself, and he really hoped that a nurse would bring his lunch soon. Dean looked at her, she was very pretty, long blonde hair and blue eyes. Dean could tell she was related to Cas. They had some of the same facial features. Dean looked at her, not sure what to say. "I know that Cas won't want to let you stay on the street. He's always told me that he wished he knew you kids, but he was of course concerned that you guys wouldn't accept him, because of what Gabriel and Genevieve must have said about him."
Before he could say anything more, Cas came in, carrying a bag of food from the cafeteria. Dean looked up. "Hey, baby. Please tell me you got enough so I can have something, my lunch hasn't come yet and I'm starved." He said, as Cas moved to the bed to kiss him. Dean hadn't been awake when Cas had left, Dean had found the note Cas had left him. Dean peeked into Cas' bag, and grinned, grabbing out the piece of apple pie he saw there. "Score, I love you, baby." Dean said, grabbing out the fork too.
That's when Cas noticed Claire. "Claire?" He asked. He only had seen her in pictures. Cas wished he'd known she was coming. Then his blue eyes settled on the bag she had sitting next to her chair. "Claire, what's that bag for?" He asked, setting the bag of food on the bed, not even noticing Dean tearing into the apple pie. Cas wasn't sure what he wanted her answer to be, but it seemed to be that she thought she was running away from home. Cas didn't want that, mostly because he didn't want Gabriel to somehow blame him for it. Cas sat down, reaching to get out the sandwich and chips he'd gotten for Dean. He knew that lunch could be late.
"I hope you're not trying to run away from home."
Claire didn't know that he was going to like what she had to say. Because that in fact was what she was doing. "I am running away from home, Castiel. Dad's…." She stopped, casting her glance at Dean, who was inhaling the pie like he'd never eaten pie before. It was kind of funny. Claire turned back to look at Cas. "I'm gay, Cas." She said, deciding that the best thing was to just get it out in the open. She had only ever seen him in pictures too, at her great aunt's house. Claire knew she could have gone to her, since she accepted Castiel, but Claire hadn't been sure she wouldn't call her dad. Claire knew that she didn't want Gabriel to know where she was. She knew that if Cas did call her dad, he wouldn't tell him where she was if she told him not to. Claire watched Cas' eyes widen. "I'm… I can't live with him for two more years, Castiel. He's going to kick me out when he finds out anyway."
Cas didn't know what to say, but he knew she was right about Gabriel. He would kick her out. He got out his own lunch, a sandwich and a salad. "Are you hungry? I have another sandwich and some salad if you're hungry." Cas handed Dean an apple juice, and pulled out another one for him. When Claire said she was hungry, he handed her the extra sandwich and salad, and one of the dressings he'd gotten. Dean was still eating the pie, leaving his sandwich and chips for last. Cas wasn't a bit surprised. He'd thought Dean deserved a treat, he'd been so good since the surgery. "I don't…. Why did you come to me? I know that I'm your only relative that would understand your predilection, but that doesn't mean that you should be here, I mean, you don't even know me."
It was odd, that she'd chosen to come to him. "It's not that I don't want to help you, Claire. I do. I just…" The truth was, he and Dean had so much on their plate right now. Cas didn't want to add something else. Although he knew that he couldn't send Claire away, not when he knew that Gabriel wouldn't take her back when he found out what she was.
"Cas, baby, we can't let her go, she's not got anywhere else to go." Dean said, reaching for his sandwich. Dean looked at his husband. "I know that we've got a lot going on, but we can't let her go stay somewhere else. She'd end up in some shelter or something." Dean didn't know what she was going through from personal experience, because he didn't think he'd ever have had to worry about not being accepted by his family, but he didn't like the idea of Cas' niece being out there and they weren't helping her. Dean took a large bite of his sandwich, roast beef, score.
"We have room for her. And I'm sure Frankie would love to have a cousin." He didn't know what Frankie and Cas would have done if he hadn't made it through his surgery. Dean couldn't stop thinking about what might have been. He knew that he had to work on that, it wasn't good to dwell, especially since he was fine. Dean just couldn't let it go. He supposed that he could eventually, since he knew it had been touch and go in the surgery. Cas hadn't wanted him to know, so he hadn't told his husband that he'd overheard John and Sam talking when he was supposed to be asleep.
Claire was spreading some of the dressing over her salad, and she looked at Dean when he mentioned Frankie. "You have a son?" She asked Cas, wondering if it was his biologically. She didn't know if that wasn't a new development, she'd have heard of it before now if it wasn't. "Aunt Maggie's never mentioned that you had a kid." Claire said, picking up her fork to mix up the dressing in her salad. She didn't know what she was going to do if Cas and Dean didn't take her in. She knew that they were married, she'd seen the notice in the newspaper. Claire had always tried to keep track of her uncle, she'd read all of his articles in the Dallas paper. Claire had known from an early age what she was, and she had known almost her whole life what Cas was.
"Frankie's our daughter." Cas said. "She's Dean's biologically from another relationship." He didn't doubt that Frankie would love to have a cousin. It was going to be months yet before Jo's baby was born, and the baby would be too little for Frankie to play with. And honestly, it would be nice for them to have another babysitter. Cas didn't really know what the best move was. "Has your dad tried to call you since you left Houston? How did you get here?" He asked, wondering if she had a car that Gabriel might try and make her return. If she came here by bus, she was braver than he thought she was. And more determined. After a glance at Dean, he said, "If you're going to stay with us, you have to call your dad and tell him that you're okay. You don't have to tell him where you are, not if you don't want to, but you have to at least let him know that you're okay."
Claire sighed. She had expected Cas to say something like that. "I told him where I was going, and I've heard from him twice. But I didn't answer. As soon as he knows why I left, he's going to stop calling. I didn't want to tell him till I knew you would let me stay. Not that I want to stay with him, but I didn't want him to know for sure till I knew." Claire didn't doubt for a moment that her father was going to disown her. She honestly was surprised that Cas had hooked up with someone with a kid. "Have you adopted her officially?" She asked curiously. She wondered if the little girl was okay with having two dads. She was sure she was, although she didn't know for sure how old the girl was.
Dean, once his mouth was free of food, said, "Cas adopted her. Right now, her maternal aunt is trying to get custody from us." He didn't know if he wanted to go into the whole story right now. "She's only been in my life for a few months, her mother never told me about her. She's three." Although she was going to be four very shortly, in about a month and a half. Dean didn't know what he would do without her. They had to beat Lucy's custody suit. Dean knew it helped that he'd had his surgery, Lucy couldn't use the fact that he had a bad heart against him. He knew how much of a long shot her case was though.
He and Cas were perfectly fine parents, and they had an extended family to be in Frankie's life, and to help them with her. Lucy had no one else in her life. At least, not family wise. Dean knew that was in their favor also. He reached for his apple juice and looked at Claire. "We're not going to let you have to go to a shelter. We've got a bedroom for you. My dad's going to love to meet you." Dean said. He knew that John would be glad that they were helping out Claire. She was Cas' flesh and blood, and if there was one thing that the WInchesters were all about, it was family. You didn't give up on blood.
Claire was glad that Cas seemed to have found his own little family. She had to admit, she was glad that he'd found a husband. It gave her hope that she'd find her own family someday. She had left a girl back in Houston, but it hadn't ended well. She hadn't been able to be with her properly, and the girl had broken up with her. Not that she blamed her. It was hard to have to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't out to their family. She was glad that she'd taken the chance that Cas would still be here at the hospital. "I'll tell him I'm safe but I'm not telling him where I am."
She watched as Dean and Cas interacted, and she wondered what it must be like to hate people simply because of who they had a crush on. Who they were in love with. Claire couldn't imagine having that much hate in your heart. Claire brushed her hand through her hair and she had to admit, Cas looked really happy. Maybe she could be happy too one day. And maybe she'd be able to find the courage to tell Cas that she was really his daughter.
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
And everything it will surely change even if I tell you I won't go away today
Will you think that you're all alone
When there's no one there to hold your hand?
And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary rest your head
I'm permanent
I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask oh god is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go I wish I could make it go away
But still you say
Will you think that you're all alone
when no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary rest your head
I'm permanent
I'm permanent
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
Author's note: So, I hope that ya'll like! I promise, it's gonna be less angsty now that Dean has his new heart. I really hope ya'll are hanging in. I can't wait for ya'll to find out how Claire is Cas' daughter. I may not have anything else planned out, but I have that planned out. XD. Review if you like!