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usual warning for spelling and grammar
xxx
"Morning sleeping beauty." Sam told him from his bed were he sat cleaning his gun. Dean got up and after a stretch and a quick glance around the room he spoke.
"Where's Cas?"
"Hello to you too," Dean shot Sam a warning look he rolled his eyes and continued "I dunno he wasn't here when I woke up."
"Crap." He mumbled to himself and left the room grabbing Cas' room keys on the way out. Dean knew Cas had to return to the room because his clothes were there, Dean had the feeling they had to have one of those uncomfortable chats. He was just hoping the angel stayed in his room. It was empty.
Dean uncertainly made his way towards the help desk.
"Hey there." The man greeted him, the same guy from last night and a hot flush instantly coated his features, Dean's eyes caught his own reflection on the way to him, the fact he looked so tired didn't help his case that he and Cas weren't gay, and by the smile that the man wore he thought he knew why Dean looked tired, this was going to be a long day the hunter thought.
"Have you seen the guy that I was with last night? Room 23." The man's smile dropped slightly as he shifted on his feet.
"Sorry dude but I err, saw him sneaking out of some other room half naked this morning. Sorry." Dean just rolled his eyes at the cautiousness in the man's voice.
"What time?"
"About two hours ago."
"Great, wait. He walked from the other room? Like with his legs." Dean couldn't believe it, Cas doesn't walk, he hates walking, takes too long to get anywhere that way.
"Yeah, what you expect the guy to fly." Yes Dean thought, but put on a painful fake laugh and tried to sound breezy.
"No, no of course not, do you know what he did next? Where he went."
"Yeah he came in here to pay." Deans eyebrows hit the ceiling did he just hear that right?
"Pay."
"Yeah, for the room." What the hell was going on, Cas had no money wouldn't know what to do with it even if he did.
"With what!"
"What do you think, credit card."
"Who's!" the man behind the desk was getting a little edgy by deans confused behaviour.
"Look." He took out a receipt and showed it to the hunter. Dean read the name and he thought he must still be dreaming, everything was too surreal.
"Jimmy? Fuck, Jimmy Novak!"
"The card is valid right?" the man asked suspiciously, Dean really needed to keep his cool.
"Yeah, just thought he was someone else. fuck." The motel worker had a hundred and one questions but didn't have the nerve to ask them Dean looked ready to hit someone or cry it was hard to tell.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, everything is fine." He growled to the man, he didn't mean to sound like a dick but it was a stupid question, he stormed out of the room and back to his and Sam's room.
Sam jumped when Dean burst through the door, he looked a little flushed.
"Sammy we have a problem." Sam instantly went into hunter mode.
"What?" he asked expected news on the big bad; he stood and approached his brother preparing himself for the worst.
"I don't know where Cas is." Dean huffed out sounding way more desperate then he intended, Sam tried to stop the laughter that was pushed and begging to be realised.
"What?" he chuckled out. "You're serious." He stated after catching a worried look in his brothers eye.
"He walked to the other room, he didn't fly he walked, when was the last time he walked anywhere?"
"Well,"
"And he paid, using Jimmy's credit card. How would he even know how to do that?" Sam had to admit this was a little odd.
"What are you thinking?"
"I think that maybe we should be looking for Jimmy not Cas." Dean sighed as he roughly sat onto one of the chairs.
"I don't know." Sam joined Dean at the table, he was unconvinced that it was a possibility but then again he didn't know Cas like Dean did.
"He was really torn up about that damn dream Sam, what if it affected him or Lucifer got to him in his dream or something."
"Dean I think you're over reacting."
"Really? Then tell me you're not worried at all, because what I told you is just typical Cas behaviour." Dean got up turned his back to Sam and ran a hand over his face, waiting for his brothers reply that he knew wasn't coming. "Right."
"What do you wanna do?" Dean spun back around and started to deliver orders.
"You stay here and phone him and I'll go look for him." Sam couldn't stop his eyes rolling.
"Dean, you know were on a case, lives are at stake." Dean paused, he had completely forgotten about that.
"You're right, I'll phone him, you get to work and I'll go look for him."
"He'll be okay." Sam assured his brother as Dean made his way to the door.
"He's our best weapon against the apocalypse and Sam he's our friend and he might be in trouble. The last time Jimmy came back Cas was taken to heaven were they did god knows what to get him in line." Sam saw the pain in his face, and nodded he could do the job on his own, Dean needed to do this.
"You're right, you go." Dean nodded in thanks before leaving the room, thankfully he left Sam the impala, what sort of agent would he be without a car.
Cas didn't answer his mobile, not that Dean had expected him to though. The hunter wondered down the street, he could literally be anywhere in the world, he was tempted to start ringing New York shelters since Cas seemed to get peace from it but then again if he was dealing with Jimmy then he would have to check Amelia and Clare because they were now in danger, but Dean clung to the hopeless idea that he was still looking for his angel.
Dean decided that there was only one place he needed to check. If Cas was still Cas, if he was anywhere in this town it would be here Dean thought as he walked into the park and scanned the grounds. His heart twisted when he spotted a familiar figure sitting idian style under a tree, would Cas sit under a tree when a bench is a few metres away? Dean swallowed the fear that brought him out in a cold sweet at the thought he has lost Cas and approached the man he prayed wasn't human.
"Jimmy?" Dean asked as he stood under the tree trying to get his attention.
"Sorry to disappoint you Dean but no, it's me." Cas slowly told the hunter staring straight ahead not wanting to look him in the eye.
"Oh thank god." Dean breathed out the breath that had been hitched in his throat since he first spotted him under the oak. His angel was still here. Dean sat down next to Cas and after a quick glance to his face started looking in the same direction as the angel. "Don't you ever do that again."
"What did I do?" Cas asked sounded a little surprised and rather guilty, knowing what he does when Dean's asleep and how pissed Dean would be if he knew.
"You disappeared." Okay Cas wasn't expecting that.
"I usually do." he told him face knotted in confused.
"Well I don't like it." Dean snapped causing a faint pink tint to grow in Dean's cheeks and Cas to look at the hunter for the first time since he found him, causing Dean to flush even more under his intense gaze.
"You've never expressed a dislike to it before;" Cas eyes fell to the floor he was finding it hard to look Dean in the eye. "On the contrary you seem to be more comfortable when I'm not around." Dean should have heard the discomfort and hurt in his voice he should have felt empathy maybe even pity but he didn't, he just felt anger, this was Cas he was supposed to know him and here he is making accusations and assumptions just to fit in with his own self pitty, that in it self should have been cause for comfort but it wasn't, Dean spat out his words.
"Don't talk shit Cas you know as well as I do that's not true." Cas' eyes snapped up to Dean's, who's eyes instantly softened when he saw them, the hunter took a breath to calm down, he took hold of Cas' arm to keep his attention and eye contact, perhaps even to keep him from flying away, he needed to know the answers to his questions, though was unsure as to why they were so important. "Why did you just leave? And through the door at that, you walked Cas. I thought you were gone I thought you had left,"
"Left?" Cas needed verification, of course he had left Dean didn't know where he was, why was Dean upset about this.
"Yeah like gone back to heaven or something." Cas' stomach dropped he felt a strange urge to vomit even though he hasn't ever done so before, could angels vomit? The fear in Dean's voice made something stir within him, what was happening it was like his insides decided to shift position.
"You know that's impossible." he almost whispered, he didnt want to speak the words he hated talking about heaven and how he was cut off, it made him feel, sad. cas hated feeling this way though he felt it the most.
"I'm sure if you made a case they would forgive you." Dean tried fruitlessly to comfort Cas they both knew it was useless.
"I think you underestimate how little angels care. How little their capacity is to forgive if it wasn't ordered." How had people misjudged angels to drastically, Cas looked away and stared at his hands that were placed neatly on his lap and for the first time since he rebelled Cas felt ashamed to be an angel.
"I think you underestimate how hard you are to say no too." Cas couldn't not smile and that, even though it did sound cheesy. Both hunter and angel blushed at Dean's words, thankfully Cas' gaze was still down, it made sitting were he was just bearable for Dean, if he saw those eyes right now it would be way to chicky for his liking. They sat in silence for a few moments when Cas took in a breath and answered Dean's question.
"I had to get away."
"From what? Me?"
"Yes, and myself. I am confused I don't like it."
"About the dream?" yes about the fucking dream, Cas thought; you pinned me against the wall, sucked my cock and began to fuck me so yeah that fucking dream confused me. Cas must have looked deep in thought because his face prompted Dean to move and sit directly in front of him so Cas had no choice up to look at him, unfortunately now Cas had a boner from just thinking about the dream he prayed that Dean didn't notice, he prayed like crazy. "Cas it doesn't mean anything."
"What do you dream about?" Cas pleaded, all he wanted to do was to know what cause that smile. the smile he never says when Dean's wakes the smile that is reserved for dreams, that still gives him butterflies and knots in his stomach every time, he didn't think it possible. "Please tell me I need to know."
"I told you."
"Yeah, frisky women. I don't believe you. Tell me please."
"Fine. well, I, I dream of Sam, Bobby, you and people I know. That's not to say I don't have whacked out dreams were I'm a pirate or a cowboy or a time travelling teddy bear doctor. Don't ask. But generally I dream of a life that's simple, were I'm happy and things don't try and kill me."
"So we dream about what we want?"
"We can do it's not really up to us, but dreams aren't real. Remember that." but angels dreams work differently to humans, does Cas have some subconscious control? his dream was really specific mirroring the events of that day, what if? cas shook his head slightly and blinked those throughts away, he wasn't going to allow himself.
"Thank you. I can't stop thinking about it." Cas whispered at flashes of Dean's hot wet mouth wrapped around his dick danced threw his mind as he stared into those striking sea green eye that even with the shade the oak provided them still shone and captivated the angel.
"That's understandable," Dean looked to the sky he really didn't want to do this but he knew he had to. He let lose a little too much and was hoping despite his emotions, Cas was still an adorably backwards social retard to figure out what he meant, not that he thought of Cas as adorable. "Cas do you think we should discuss what happened last night."
"What did happen last night?" thank fuck Dean thought, and laughed a little in relief that just made Cas tilt his head in confusion.
"Nothing, it's nothing I just thought, doesn't matter, come on lets go back to the motel room." Dean got up and brushed himself down before turning, the angel didn't follow him, didn't move. "Cas?"
"I think I'll stay here."
"Why?"
"I need to think." which was true, he needed to clear his head but also get rid of his throbbing dick that felt very noticable threw his slacks through he didn't chance a look down knowing that would just encourage dean to look, though he probable already saw, Cas was so embarrased, he hated that emotions to made him feel so foolish and, human.
"You want me to stay with you?" oh god yes Cas thought as all those images of a naked him being pinned to the door flooded back to him and he had to bite his lip a little to muffle the groan he felt coming just from the memory of a dream, he needed to get a grip he thought.
"That's not necessary please. I shall return before long."
"Okay I've got my phone on me and Cas. Just remember to come back." The hunter didn't mean to sound as desperate as he did but he didn't really care, after a beat of silence Dean realised he was still staring so nodded to Cas who returned the favour before he turned and left leaving Cas alone. Cas watched Dean walk away, closed his eyes and muttered to himself.
"I'll always come back to you."
N'aw melodramatic worrying Dean makes me aw lol ^_^
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