Tonight is their last night in Hawaii and Clarke hasn't gotten out of bed, too busy being buried in pillows and self-loathing. Lexa's out with Anya, who apologized for the previous night, and is now taking the brunette out for a one-day adventure. Clarke groans because she knows it'll probably end in sex and it makes her sick to think about someone else touching Lexa and making her shiver and whimper and moan. She feels selfish.

Her phone dings. She has a text.

Octavia 3:43 PM
Where are you?

Clarke 3:44 PM
My room

Octavia 3:47 PM
Still? Wtf are you hungover again?

Clarke 3:50 PM
No. Just tired.

Octavia 3:52 PM
Tired my ass

Clarke 3:56 PM
Lexa's out with Anya.

Octavia 3:57 PM
So?

Clarke 3:59 PM
So, I'm tired

Octavia 4:02 PM
I can't believe you're jealous

Clarke 4:04 PM
Not jealous. Tired.

Octavia 4:07 PM
Whatever, princess. You'll find someone else who's good in bed

Clarke 4:10 PM
I guess

Octavia 4:16 PM
I'm coming over

Clarke 4:16 PM
No

Octavia 4:18 PM
It's your last night in Hawaii. I'm getting you laid so you can stop moping around.

Clarke 4:19 PM
Nooooo

Octavia 4:20 PM
On my way

"Lexa," Anya says, as they sit side by side at the edge of a cliff that looks over the sea. There's a picnic blanket insensate them, half-eaten food scattered around them.

"Hm?" Lexa asks, busy being amazed by the ocean waves.

"I really like you," Anya struggles to get the words out, but Lexa doesn't notice.

"I like you too," she smiles.

"I think I can swing my New York in a couple of weeks," Anya says and Lexa's eyes light up in surprise.

"You want to visit me?"

"If you'd like," Anya says shyly. "I know I would."

"I think that would be nice," Lexa says and it isn't a lie. It is nice to be with Anya and to have things be simple and straight forward. Anya smiles and leans her head on Lexa's shoulder.

Lexa walks into the room to change into her bathing suit and is surprised to find Clarke still there, rolled up in a blanket burrito and groaning into her phone. As soon as the conversation ends, she throws it across the room and it lands at Lexa's feet. She picks it up and places it on the night stand, before coming to sit on the bed. Clarke, who didn't the door opening, is now aware of Lexa's presence by the shift of the bed.

"Are you okay?" Lexa asks and Clarke wonders: if she says that she's hungover, will she stay and take care of her again? She rolls over and faces Lexa, only her curious blue eyes showing. Lexa smiles at how insanely adorable she looks, but then turns away to hide her amusement.

"How's your mega date going?" Clarke asks, ignoring Lexa's question.

"Good," Lexa says, but it doesn't sound very convincing. "I just came over to change." Clarke nods and rolls back away. Lexa hesitates before going into the bathroom.

Clarke stares at the ceiling, thinking about how Lexa's going to leave in a few moments and come back until the morning as someone else's. She can't bear the thought, so she tries to think of something else. Her tattoo shop - Lexa has tattoos. The painting she's working on - Lexa works at an art museum. Re-adjusting to the change of time zones - Lexa staying up with her and watching Friends.

She comes out, a two piece bikini on, and wrapped in a beach towel.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lexa asks again, seeing as the blonde is groaning again - this time at how unbelievably gorgeous the brunette looks. "Do you feel sick?" Clarke is about say yes if it means that she'll stay, but then she adds, "I can tell Octavia to come look after you."

"She's already on her way," Clarke sighs.

"Oh," Lexa says quietly. And she doesn't want to leave, so she thinks of an excuse to stay. "I can wait for her to get here, if you want."

"That would be nice."

"All right, then scoot," Lexa says and Clarke moves to the side to give room to Lexa, who hops on the bed next to her.

"You two lovebirds going to the beach?" Clarke asks, trying to act nonchalant about it.

"A spa, actually," Lexa replies. "But then maybe the beach. I don't know. She has everything planned out. It's all a surprise to me."

"You're really into her, huh?" Clarke asks a bit sadly.

"I guess, yeah," Lexa says. "I mean, she's nice. And patient. And romantic." Clarke frowns because she knows she isn't any of those things. "And a good kisser too," she adds chuckling and she doesn't know why she's saying these things. Maybe she wants to make Clarke jealous. Maybe she wants to make Clarke care.

And Clarke cares - incredibly so. She feels her insides start to droop in sadness, knowing that there's no chance for them to be together anymore. She was too slow, too scared, too childish.

"Too bad you're probably never gonna see her again," Clarke says and it comes out a bit mean, but Lexa doesn't mind it.

"Well, actually she said she'd go visit me in New York," Lexa says almost guiltily.

"Oh," is all Clarke says. They stay lying there quietly, until there's finally a knock at the door and it's Octavia.

"How about her?" Octavia asks, leaning into Clarke and discreetly pointing to a redhead across the bar.

"Straight," Clarke says, before taking a drink of her vodka tonic.

"Him?" Octavia points to a tall, handsome man who's talking with a group of friends.

"Gay," Clarke says with another drink.

"Either my gaydar is seriously broken or you just want to get out of this," Octavia says, playfully pushing Clarke who chuckles.

"A bit of both," she admits, rocking back and forth in her seat, completely bored. She looks around the bar and, really, there are enough beautiful people to go around; from all over the world too: Mexico, Brazil, Spain, France, Germany, Australia,... but Clarke just doesn't care enough. Or cares too much. They're not Lexa enough.

"What's wrong, Clarke?" Octavia finally asks.

"I think," she frowns, not really wanting to finish her sentence. "I think I might be, like, in love with Lexa." Octavia laughs and Clarke turns red.

"You can't be serious, Clarke," she smiles. "You've known her for what? A week?"

"I know," Clarke groans loudly. "But I love her. Like, I wouldn't admit to that if it was something less than love. You know me. I'm not the kind of person who just instantly falls for someone. I never fall for anyone! But now, this... this is different. Better. Stronger than anything I've ever felt before. And it's not just sex, because yeah, it's fucking amazing, but it's just her in general. She's just... She's so amazing and strong and smart and beautiful and funny. And, like, I know I'm not good enough for her. I know that she deserves someone who can love her fully."

"Sounds like you do," Octavia says.

"I do, but... you know what I mean," Clarke sighs.

"Is this because of what I told you? About you breaking her heart?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Clarke, you're such a fucking idiot," Octavia exclaims and the blonde furrows her brow, confused. "Everyone gets hurt. That's just part of life. Going into a relationship, you're both basically giving the other person permission to hurt you."

"What are you talking about? That doesn't sound healthy," Clarke says.

"What I mean is, you give them your heart. You give them the power to hurt you, but you trust that they won't. That's what love is," Octavia explains. "Lincoln has my heart and he has the power to break it, but he won't."

"Or I'll break is nose," Clarke interjects and Octavia laughs. "What does this have to do with Lexa?"

"It means she has the power to hurt you," Octavia says and Clarke nods, agreeing. "If she loves you too, then you have the power to hurt her too."

"But I don't want to."

"Tough shit, Clarke. That's love. You have to risk pain and broken hearts," Octavia says. "You have to risk everything, but you know what? It is so fucking worth it."

"But you told me -"

"I told you not to hurt her by getting her hopes up that you actually gave a fuck," Octavia explains. "I had no idea you actually cared about her, dumbass. Tell me stuff!"

"I do care, Octavia. I care so much," Clarke says. "But... but what if she doesn't? What if it's too late now and she cares more about Anya?" Octavia shrugs.

"Let's find out."