[Group Message]
Octavia 7:34 PM
Bonfire at 8
Bellamy 7:36 PM
That's when the stripper gets here tho
Octavia 7:36 PM
WHAT?
Lincoln 7:37 PM
No stripper! Don't listen to Bellamy. We will be there at 8
Jasper 7:38 PM
Whipped
Octavia 7:40 PM
Shut up, Jasper.
Lexa 7:43 PM
We might get there around 9
"They're totally gonna have sex first," Clarke groans, looking at her phone next to Octavia, who shoves her playfully.
"Stop being such a high schooler," Octavia says. "Besides they're probably planning on having sex at the very end of their night as a sort of parting gift." Clarke groans some more.
Octavia 7:45 PM
9 is good
"It's okay, Clarke," Octavia comforts her friend, putting an arm around her. "You'll get her back at the bonfire so there won't be time for any sexy time with Anya."
"I guess," the blonde sighs and sends a text.
Clarke 7:46 PM
I'll be there
Lexa's phone buzzes again and she glances down, expecting to see another dumb comment from Bellamy or Jasper, but instead, Clarke's name flashes on the screen. Her heartbeat quickens, if only momentarily. She didn't expect Clarke to go, after finding her all grumpy and adorable - I mean, just grumpy - in their room. She finds herself feeling glad that the blonde will join them.
"Clarke is going too," Lexa says and Anya notices the joy in her voice.
"Hmm," she says simply, obviously jealous. "That's nice." Lexa doesn't really know how to react to that because it's not like Anya and her are in an official relationship yet. She finds this jealousy annoying. She then wonders why it is that she finds Clarke's jealousy incredibly adorable in comparison.
"She's not gonna fucking come," Clarke sighs, sitting on a log, leaning against Octavia who's sitting next to Lincoln.
"It's 8:54, Clarke," she says. "Chill." But Clarke can't chill. Her legs jump up and down and she can feel her the vodka tonic coming back up, her chest tightening in anxiety.
"Dude, I don't think I can do this," she says, panicking. "I've never fucking confessed my undying love for someone."
"Don't be so dramatic," Octavia laughs. "It'll be fine. Just remember what we planned. I'll distract Anya with my amazing personality and undeniable charisma. And meanwhile, you find a way to be alone with Lexa."
"Okay, oh - oh, fuck," Clarke exclaims, watching as two familiar figures come walking down to the bonfire. They're not holding hands and Clarke takes that a good sign. Lexa is wearing nothing, but her bikini top and a pair of short shorts.
"Hey, you guys made it!" Octavia exclaims. "Just on time too," she whispers to Clarke, who chuckles nervously.
"We're gonna get some drinks," Anya says, pulling Lexa away, but her eyes stay glued of Clarke (who's, strangely, looking everywhere but at her.)
"Remember, you want her to be drinking, but not drunk, okay?" Octavia says quickly as the two leave and Clarke nods nervously.
They come back with margaritas, sitting on a log opposite Clarke's, Lexa directly in front of her.
"Are you feeling better, Clarke?" the brunette asks, and Clarke's blue eyes find hers for the first tonight.
"Much," she says, and her nerves settle down as she remembers how easy and how nice it is to talk with Lexa even if it's about nothing. The brunette gives her a slight smile and Clarke's heart swells.
"Oh, were you sick?" Anya asks, and Clarke can't help but roll her eyes. Luckily, only Octavia catches that.
"Just a bit under the weather," she says.
"Nothing a vodka tonic couldn't fix, though, right?" Octavia adds, shoving her discreetly so that she plays nice.
"Right..." Clarke says.
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I came here to dance," Lincoln says, getting up, hand in hand with Octavia. They head out to the area where a bunch of people in Hawaiian skirts and swimsuits are dancing to some Calvin Harris song, probably. Bellamy and Jasper are already there.
"Do you want to dance?" Anya asks Lexa, who looks over at a very adorably jealous Clarke.
"Sure," she says, standing up. "Are you coming, Clarke?" The blonde hesitates before nodding and following the two.
After a while, Octavia manages to pull Anya into her dance circle without Lexa. Clarke, seeing this opportunity, nearly runs on her way to the brunette. They dance together for a couple of songs, laughing, and overall having a fantastic time.
"Oh, god," Clarke pants, exhausted. "Will you come with me to get a drink?" Lexa looks over at Anya who seems to be having an even better time with Octavia.
"Sure," she says and they walk side by side to the bar.
"Vodka tonic," she says to the bartender.
"Make that two," Lexa adds.
After they get their drinks, they walk aimlessly through the beach, loving the way the sand feels in between their toes.
"Are you having fun?" Clarke asks.
"Yeah. Hawaii's quite nice," Lexa replies. "And you?"
"Yeah," she says. "Much better than I had expected."
"Maybe we should get back," Lexa suggests, but she doesn't mean it. Not really. But she doesn't want to fuck it up with Anya over a one night stand. She doesn't want to drunk make out with Clarke, when she's supposed to be courting Anya.
"Do you want to?" Clarke asks, sadly. They look at each other for a moment and Lexa doesn't know what to say. No, of course she doesn't want to. She wants to get lost in the beach with her, but she can't do that.
"No, not really," she finds herself saying. Clarke steps closer.
"Come with me?" She asks, her hand slipping into Lexa's. The touch of each other's skin makes them feel soft and warm and excited. Lexa nods, and Clarke guides her down the beach. There are fewer and fewer people around them, their surroundings growing darker and darker.
"If I get bit by something," Lexa begins jokingly, making Clarke smile.
"You won't," she promises, "I'll protect you."
"Where are you taking me anyway?"
"Far away," Clarke says simply.
"From what?" Lexa lets the blonde lead her, enjoying her playfulness, enjoying the feeling of her hand, the view of her blonde hair dancing in the wind.
"The sea is beautiful, don't you think?" Just like you.
"Yes. I quite love the sea," Lexa says. Clarke stops, and pulls Lexa forward so that they're side by side.
"It's better if you can appreciate it without the sound of people. Or the smell of booze. Or the noise of that shit they call music," Clarke says, smiling kindly.
"You brought me here so I could properly enjoy the sea?"
"Yes," Clarke says, before adding, "Let's sit down?" Lexa nods softly, not so sure about it but also not willing to deny herself this opportunity to be with Clarke. She realizes that she's been missing her. They sit down, against large rocks, looking out into the dangerous ocean as waves crash across the shore. "A bit scary, isn't it?" Clarke asks.
"Terrifying," Lexa's voice is soft, "but the best things in life are." She turns to look at Clarke. She looks beautiful and delicate under the moonlight. The blonde nods.
"You terrify me, Lexa," she says in almost a whisper, turning to face her
"Do I?" She asks, not knowing if she should take offense. They're dangerously close.
"Very much," Clarke replies, leaning in, but Lexa turns away, back at the sea. Clarke frowns, but Lexa doesn't notice. She doesn't want to notice all the little signs that add up to mean that Clarke might care. She doesn't care, she thinks to herself. She just wants to fuck you, but she doesn't care.
"I doubt that," Lexa says and Clarke wonders if the brunette really has no idea of the impact she has on her.
"Don't." Clarke says. "Don't doubt it."
"Don't be terrified," Lexa suggests.
"All right," Clarke replies. Her fingers trace figures in the sand. Cursive letters and hearts. "What are you gonna do when you get back?"
"To New York?" Lexa asks.
"Mhm," Clarke says, though she doesn't mean New York. She means the bonfire. She means the hotel. She means reality.
"Well work, mostly," she says. "I don't usually take days off from work, so I'm actually surprised that they haven't called me yet to tell me the whole museum has caught on fire." She chuckles emptily.
"And Anya?" The question burns Clarke's throat, but she pushes it out, needing to know and yet afraid of the answer.
"I don't know," Lexa admits. "We'll see what happens."
"What do you want to happen?" Clarke urges.
"Well..." She's looking out into the ocean and Clarke is looking at Lexa and they're both witnessing unimaginable beauty. "I don't know. It's all too soon to tell, you know?"
"How long do you think it takes to fall in love with someone?" It's such a weighted question and it takes Lexa by surprise.
"I think it depends," she says, thinking deeply. Remembering Costia and how it had taken them nearly a year of dating to say heir I-love-you's; they wanted to be 100% positive to avoid rushing into anything. Lexa scoffs at the irony in it. She then thinks of Clarke and how they say those three little words all the time in a drunken haze as if they were weightless nothings – but are they? Or is it possible to love someone you've only just met a week ago?
"On what?" Clarke asks, curiously.
"On the person," Lexa explains. "And, on whether what they have is just attraction or if their souls are actually made for each other."
"You believe in soul mates?"
"Yes," Lexa replies confidently. "But it's not really a love at first sight kind of thing. It's more like -"
"Love at first one night stand?" Clarke interrupts. As soon as the words slip through her mouth and are left in the air, she blushes completely.
"What?"
"What?"
"What did you say?" Lexa can't help but smile.
"No, nothing... I just meant, uh, I don't know what I meant. Keep going," Clarke stutters, hiding her face, placing her forehead on Lexa's shoulder. Lexa tilts her head so as to rest it on the top of Clarke's head, making the blonde's heart flutter.
"Uh, I was just gonna say that it's not like love at first sight. It's just that you meet someone and there's this instant connection between your souls and the more you're with them, the stronger the connection grows until it just becomes love," she continues and there's so much fire in her eyes – Clarke feels drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She lifts her head from her shoulder and eyes her carefully. "And when it does become love, it's the absolute strongest, best kind of love that there could be."
"You're quite the romantic," Clarke says.
"Yes, I guess so. Do you not believe in that sort of thing?" She turns to face her.
"I don't know. I'm not really an expert on love so -"
"Right. I forgot who I was talking to," Lexa interrupts.
Clarke feels slightly offended, but lets it go. They stay quiet for a while, enjoying the sound of the waves and their heartbeats. The moon shines bright and proud above them as Clarke leans in to rest her head on Lexa's shoulder again and the brunette tilts her head. Lexa closes her eyes, so as to take in the beauty of the moment – the sound of waves, the soft sand, the smell of Clarke.
"Lexa?" Clarke whispers after a while, her hand tracing figures of nothing on Lexa's knee.
"Yes?" she whispers back.
"Are you drunk?" She asks this as she lifts up her head to meet Lexa's eyes, only a few inches away.
"Would you like me to be?" Her breath is warm and sweet and intoxicating. Lexa, who isn't drunk, considers pretending to be for Clarke - just to kiss her one last time. No one else would have to know. Just a goodbye kiss. A last night in Hawaii kiss. A drunk kiss. A whatever she wants kiss.
"Not really," Clarke says and Lexa becomes infinitely disappointed.
"Oh," she says. "Well, then I'm not." Clarke notices the change in tone and is overwhelmed with guilt.
"No, it's not that I don't want to…" Clarke starts, but doesn't know how to finish. They have never really spoken about it out loud before.
"It's okay, Clarke," Lexa says, even if it isn't okay that her feelings are one-sided.
"It's not though, Lexa," Clarke moves over to sit in front of her. "Look at me." Lexa looks up into a pair of mesmerizing blue eyes and she thinks she must have the sea in them.
"Clarke," she groans, looking away again. She's tired and Clarke is beautiful and this is torture. Clarke leans in, though, a hand caressing Lexa's face, pulling her chin up so that their eyes meet. They glisten with tears and Lexa becomes concerned, leaning and reaching her hand to hold Clarke's face too. A tear falls down the blonde's cheek and Lexa brushes it away with her thumb. "What's wrong, Clarke?" she asks softly. It hurts her heart to see her this way and in this painful moment of agony, she realizes how truly and undeniably in love she is. And it hurts even more.
"I'm fine," she says, chuckling sadly, using her free hand to wipe her eyes from any more tears. "It's just so… so fucking overwhelming."
"What is?" Lexa asks, still concerned, still leaning in and holding Clarke safely in her hand.
"This…" Clarke fills herself fill up with emotion and she forces herself to look away from Lexa and up at the stars instead, so she won't cry again. "…love." She emphasizes the word with so much undeniable passion as she swears it to the universe. Looking back down at Lexa, she finds that the brunette still has a confused look on her face.
"Love?" Lexa repeats the word carefully as if she doesn't know what it means.
"I love you, Lexa," Clarke finally says and the words taste so sweet in her mouth and feel so right in her heart. "I fucking love you." She chuckles a bit nervously, before biting down her bottom lip and awaiting a response.
"You're drunk," Lexa sighs, leaning back against the rock and letting go of Clarke, whose eyes grow panicked.
"No, no!" She argues, leaning forward, as if addicted to the closeness. "I'm not drunk. I love you." The words echo in Lexa's head and her heart feels like the size of the moon in her chest. Clarke leans in even closer, kneeling in between Lexa's opened legs, holding her face, gently tracing circles with her thumbs. Their noses are almost touching and both of their breaths quicken at this unbelievable closeness. Clarke stares lovingly into Lexa's unsure eyes as she whispers softly, "I'm legitimately and undeniably in love with you, Lexa." Her breath is warm and sweet, making Lexa ache for her lips. Sensing this, Clarke moves in even closer, placing her forehead on Lexa's, but not kissing yet.
Lexa tangles her fingers in Clarke's blonde hair and breathes her in, taking everything in – every detail of it all. She doesn't quite know what to do or think or say. Clarke loves her. Clarke Griffin is in love with her. And she's in love with her too. Fuck, she's so in love with her too.
"Clarke," Lexa whispers to her and the blonde feels herself become overwhelmed with warmth. "I…" There's a buzz. Lexa reaches for her phone and sees that she has one new message.
Anya 12:36 AM
lexa hel p I thkjin somone put s omeinth in my darink
"I… need to go," Lexa finishes her sentence and Clarke's heart shatters, feeling as if shards are sticking out of her chest. She can't breathe.
"Oh," she says and her voice breaks, she leans back, letting go of Lexa and feeling herself fill up with an unbearable ache. Lexa notices this and quickly leans in, taking Clarke and softly kissing her. The kiss is nice and slow and gentle and incredibly loving, but it ends far too quickly. Before Clarke can fully register what's happening, Lexa's already up and on her way back to the bonfire. The blonde sighs, letting herself fall back onto the sand as she looks up at the sky. The feeling of Lexa's kiss still lingers on her lips and, though she's utterly confused, she smiles dumbly at the stars.