Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014.

I woke up to find Samidare sleeping next to me in my bed yet again, but this time, she was alone. I wanted to let her sleep some more, but I realized that I'd slept in a little without knowing, so I unfortunately didn't have the luxury to let Samidare lounge around either, since I needed to get out of bed.

When I woke her up, Samidare explained that last night, she'd woken up in the middle of the night from a bad nightmare. She said she'd dreamed of our last Operation Blackout mission, and she had relived the last few moments before Battleship Symbiotic Hime blasted her in half. She woke up in full sweat and gasping right when she saw the lethal cannon shell heading straight for her, and she couldn't go back to sleep on her own, so she came to my room during the night and, because I never bother locking my room, entered and let herself in and managed to go to sleep next to me.

I asked her if she wasn't trying to make her April Fool's joke yesterday a reality, and Samidare, blushing cutely, denied all such allegations.

"But...I wouldn't...mind..." she mentioned. Really, really, reeeeeeeaally softly.

Hoo boy...if only the Navy brass could get a load 'a this...

I gave Samidare a big hug, apologizing for having her experience something like that. She said it was okay. Spending a night with me was enough to calm her down.

Today was Ooyodo's launch day/birthday, so I made training today optional. As expected, only the most diligent headed out to train, like Fubuki, Yamato, Yahagi, Inazuma, and Suzuya. Or, I should say, the ones who wanted to improve the most. Everyone else just lounged around for the morning.

I contemplated whether or not I would even send the fleet out on a sortie, so I left the decision to Ooyodo, the birthday girl, who decided to have me continue on with a mission for today. According to Ooyodo, it would be detrimental if the fleet did not have a sortie to do today, for it would make them have their guard down and rusty in combat when they get back to it tomorrow, so better to have the girls do at least a recon mission or something.

I spent today's morning hours doing paperwork as I'd normally do and talking with Ooyodo. I hadn't really taken much time to speak with Ooyodo, either. You'd think that in a commander-secretary relationship, we'd have more interactions, but regretfully, we don't, so I caught up with things with Ooyodo this morning. I noticed that when we first met, Ooyodo addressed me very formally, her behavior very rigid and segmented, just like a stereotypical Japanese officewoman or salarywoman. Now, she's loosened up a whole lot. She's even called me by my last name sometimes by slip of tongue, which, every time she does so, she reddens up a bit, since she's making it obvious that she's growing more comfortable around me.

I mentioned to Ooyodo how I felt it was really interesting that already, within only a few months, I could already see so many changes with ship girls like her who've been with me for quite some time. Like how seeing character development in good stories is always interesting to see.

Ooyodo, too, said that she saw a lot of changes with me, too. When we first met, because I wasn't very much acclimated with Japanese culture and ways of life, she kind of had a low view of me but kept that opinion of me to herself. You know, the whole "ignorant foreigner" sentiment, not necessarily an "ignorant American" sentiment. But now, I've absorbed the ways of Japanese life, and if it weren't for the color of my skin, I could almost pass off as a native Japanese. Admittedly, there're still things that I have trouble getting used to, such as taking off my boots in my own bedroom and my rather childish impulse to stick my chopsticks upright in my white rice at mealtimes, which I still do, and honestly that's a bad habit to have. But other than the trivial things, I was fitting in well. But Ooyodo made sure to point out that she really liked the fact that I still chose to keep certain things about my behavior very American, most notably my speech and how I communicated with everyone. Japanese speech is filled with tatamae - or the ways you're supposed to speak in Japanese society. I may have mentioned this before, I think. But in a military setting, where people like Ooyodo and the ship girls need to know what's going on and where truth must always be told as straightforwardly and directly as possible, Ooyodo didn't like it so much. She said that she eventually came to respect me and really appreciate my efforts to own up to all of my actions, that my priorities were vested into the fleet and nothing superfluous or extraneous. And because I made myself as transparent and as easy to approach as possible, Ooyodo said that us speaking like this was entirely possible and not uncomfortable whatsoever. Not to mention, my Japanese had also drastically improved in such a short time.

She also said that she had seen my strategy drafting papers in my desk when she was cleaning up my office for me, which I told her wasn't necessary, since I usually keep my own office tidy and neat to begin with anyway. Ooyodo said that she was touched when she realized that all of my plans were fleet-centric, that fleet safety was always the number one priority. She asked me if this was always the way that I led my troops in battle before I had come to Okinawa, to which I said no. I explained to Ooyodo that in fact, my combat record as a supercarrier commander was very successful but simultaneously extremely bloody. I told her how I had the single most successful and decorated career, at the cost of the highest casualty rate of any naval unit in the United States Navy operating in the seas of the Middle East, East Africa, and West India. In other words, I was the man responsible for the deaths of more American sailors than any of my contemporaries.

So naturally, Ooyodo, who was shocked to hear this, since the fleet still knows very little about me and my personal background and history, asked me for what reasons I had decided to lead this particular fleet differently. From leading a naval unit that focused on the end goal, "at whatever means necessary", as I like to call it, to leading a top secret naval personnel fleet like this with an emphasis on fleet safety, how did I change so drastically?

I told Ooyodo that there were a few reasons for that: first, pure practicality. I'd be in deep shit either way if ship girls like them got sunk out there. The Japanese government and Ministry of Defense and the Bureau of Counter-Terrorism would all deep-fry my ass in katsu batter and serve me to the goddamn vultures if they found out that I was just treating the girls like expendable soldiers. (Hypocrisy detected.)

Second, naval strategy. I realized that commanding a fleet like this was completely different from commanding a standard naval unit, like my Carrier Strike Group 10. There're just too many things different with a fleet full of ship girls to translate a lot of conventional naval tactics and maneuvers over perfectly, and that means that my naval strategy and the way I think of and strategize naval battles and engagements would have to change. And for the sake of knowledge, adopting and practicing many different styles of naval strategy is never a bad thing, because that just means that I have more tools at my disposal to think of some kind of plan to defeat the enemy.

Third, my own psychological state. I told Ooyodo that while I didn't look the part or showed this aspect about myself, I was actually a bit of a sensitive guy. My brutal combat record that was earned with the blood and sweat of my sailors and soldiers eroded my humanity to a fine powder, because every day when I served aboard the U.S.S. George Washington, I would constantly be reminded that I was trading lives for success, blood for medals. I put the objective above all else, and frequently attained whatever I was ordered to do at any cost, costs that would make the vast majority of my fellow naval officers throw up in the bathroom somewhere. Basically, in other words, I was slowly grinding my emotions and everything that made me human into nothing. I was on the fast track to becoming a pure robot of an officer - not necessarily cold-hearted, not necessarily evil-intentioned, but just plain cold, cold as steel.

Makes sense why my sailors called me the Steel Brass.

So I said to Ooyodo that now that I had to come here to Okinawa to command the ship girls, I realized that this was a chance to reaffirm my own humanity, to make sure that I wasn't too deep on the road to becoming an emotionless navy officer. For once, I said, I wanted to see what it was like to lead my troops not with steel, fire, and bullets, but instead with forgiveness, compassion, and love. I tried to make that sound not corny, but I dunno, it still sounds really corny.

Ooyodo gave me a warm hug. She said that I was doing a great job so far. She also brought up those assassination attempts by those government right-wingers, saying that she didn't know of very many officers who had the courage to continue working in a place where their lives had been threatened twice already.

I decided to pop the main birthday gift I got for her out early, and I gave her the cute little box that held the simple white ring inside. It wasn't anything fancy, just a simple white ring that cost only about 1400 yen made by a local craftsman. But Ooyodo had other opinions. The moment she realized what I'd given her, Ooyodo burst into tears right in front of my face. A bit awkward, to be completely honest. But Ooyodo said that she'd never experienced what it felt like to have something like this, something like a gift, be given to her, which sounds both heart-warming and heart-breaking at the same time. She immediately put it on her ring finger, saying that she would treasure it forever as though it were a real marriage ring. I had to clarify that that ring wasn't meant to mean that much. But Ooyodo didn't seem to pay attention to me, because she gave me quite the kiss on my lips.

Today is the day that I realize that I may, I just may be on the long, painful, and tragic road to becoming a harem anime/eroge protagonist. Oh God.

But whatever; it was good to have some heart-to-heart time with Ooyodo. I sent the fleet on a simple patrol mission along the northern waters of Sector B, where they sank a few small patrol groups and sailed circles around the pursuing Abyssal task forces trying to catch up to them, and came back with little damage.

Afterwards, we had Ooyodo's birthday party. I took the time while the fleet was away to bake Ooyodo's birthday cake, a big vanilla cream cake decorated with a boatload (get it?) of fruits, chocolate chips, and the expensive bite-size chocolates I bought from town the other day. I also gave Ooyodo the rest of her birthday presents, and we had a fun night in the mess hall eating cake and drinking. We trained Toyoda the Akita dog to carry in a small basket that held the plushie of the crying penguin earmarked with "To Ooyodo" to the birthday girl, and Ooyodo gave Toyoda a whole lot of squealing hugs.

It's reassuring to know that after something as traumatic as Kiyoshimo's perma-death, the fleet still knows how to find happiness in trivial, nonsensical, everyday things like this. Well, minus the birthday aspect. I get to go to bed with less of a heavy heart today, which is a very, very welcome change.

...Akebono and Shigure sure are taking their time...wonder what those guys over at Seal Team Six are doing...