A/N Okay, I was way busier today than I anticipated. I had to run to campus for an unexpected lecture just scheduled in the morning, and I had to wait for my boyfriend to pick me up (who also ran late) and had to quickly shoot to my father's place to pick up my tablet. It's been hectic, but I hate excuses as much as the next person so I'll move on.

I was really hoping to have this up my four pm (South African time) but here we are. Better late than never I hope. Thanks for the wonderful reviews! Glad to see you guys like the psycho-Bella as much as I'd hoped.

Enjoy!

Bella's POV

Their faces were so eager; I didn't need Jasper's gift to sense to excitement in the room.

"Well… Let's see…" I tapped my finger to my lip, trying to put together the puzzle pieces that were my mind.

As usual, my thoughts were just a jumbled up mesh of nothing in particular. Sometimes, this really frustrated me. Sometimes, I wish I'd never truly lost my mind. So I could remember things clearly and easily without getting confused and letting my emotions overcome me.

Carlisle probably sensed my unease and decided to prompt me.

"How about you begin with after we left. Start there and we can work our way up."

His voice sounded so doctor-like. More professional than anything else. I tried to recall that fateful day. Edward, leaving me in the woods, telling me he was leaving. Some parts became clearer to me and a spoke as they came, afraid to lose them in the puzzle again.

"Well, after you guys ran off, I got sorta depressed," I admitted. "I didn't eat, or sleep. Just spent months staring out the window…" I trailed off.

"I'll never forgive myself," I heard Edward mutter.

I didn't look at him, though.

"Go on," Esme prompted.

I thought a bit more, piecing together the information. "I think I eventually decided that I was tired of being depressed. I still wasn't over Edward." I paused for a moment. "But I didn't think I ever would be. So I guess I realized that I was just hurting everyone by sulking. I decided to go to college, after all. I studied psychology. I was so focused on not thinking about you guys that I ended up graduating early. Studying was the only distraction I had… so I decided to go back to school, do some post grad stuff…"

I examined their faces again. They were all staring at me intently, Edward seemed to be the most focused of all; his eyes boring into me.

"So anyways, I signed up for my first internship at Arkham Asylum. I thought it would be the best place to jumpstart my career, what with all the damaged minds and everything. They actually accepted me!"

"You must have done very well at school," Jasper chimed in.

"I did okay," I admitted.

There was a long silence.

"So, what happened at Arkham, Bella?" Carlisle asked carefully.

I could feel the smile spreading on my face.

"That's where I met my true love!" I gleamed.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward grimace. A pained expression was etched into his face. I smiled wider.

"So, this is the clown guy, right?" Rosalie asks, looking less intrigued now.

I nodded. "Mistah J! I was assigned to his case. I couldn't believe how willingly they let me deal with such an extreme person. Oh, but he's wonderful. He was so misunderstood…"

I started remembering exactly how it happened. We met for weekly sessions… I started talking to him about his life… his childhood. His abusive father. My brow furrowed at the thought of that, and the Cullens looked confused, wondering what was going on while I was lost in my own mind.

"Misunderstood?" Emmett laughed. "He's a gangbanger who kills people. What more is there to understand?"

I resisted the urge to launch forward and scratch his eyes out. I'd only end up breaking my nails, anyway.

"He's a sweetheart," I insist. "He had a bad childhood. I felt so bad for him… I used to bring him extra pudding cups every week for out meetings, ya know that?"

Everyone but Carlisle looked puzzled at the random outburst.

"So, you met the Joker," Carlisle said encouragingly.

I was grateful for the reminder.

"Oh, yeah! So I met Mistah J and before I knew it, we were in love. I couldn't wait to see him every Wednesday. It killed me to see him all locked up like he was. He didn't deserve that! Not at all!"

"That's when you brought him the gun?" Edward asked, through gritted teeth.

They all looked at him, kinda shocked. Maybe they thought he was gonna stay silent. I kinda hoped he would.

I nodded a quick nod before turning back to Carlisle.

"I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't asked. I would do anything for him, Carlisle. You do anything for the people you love…" I looked at the floor, again, lost in my memories, trying to piece them all together.

"What happened next, Bella?" he asked.

"I'm guessing you know about the big shoot up, huh?" I tried to remember any other details. I snapped my fingers. "Oh, and he electrocuted me!" I said excitedly.

"He what?" they all asked in unison.

I nodded happily. "Uh huh. At the time, I thought it was pretty mean, but now I see it was for the best. He was tryna help me. Plus, I was forced to do the same to him during treatment. I hated it. I suppose it was only fair."

"How did he do that?" Jasper asked, leaning forward.

"One of his guys strapped me to a table. He came up to me with a rod. I was so scared. I'd never seen him so crazy-lookin' before. I tried to remind him that I was the one who helped him. But he said I wasn't helping him by erasing his memories. I guess that's a side effect of the electricity in your brain." I laughed. "Fair enough. So I asked if he was gonna kill me."

"I'm guessing he had that intention," Carlisle butted in.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Actually, he said he only wanted to hurt me. It was for my own good."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Rosalie cried out. "Who would want to hurt someone they love?"

I glared at her. "You guys did. You said you loved me, but you left. That hurt. What? It's only okay when you do it?"

Alice groaned. "Bella, you know we never did that to intentionally hurt you!"

"But it DID hurt!" I narrowed my eyes at her. "So, which is it, Alice? Do people hurt the people they love sometimes, or did you guys just not love me at all? Can't have it both ways."

Their eyes widened. My face relaxed and I smiled at Rosalie, realizing she wasn't the problem.

"At least you were honest," I said to her. "You didn't pretend to care about me. I appreciate that."

She didn't say anything. There was a long, drawn out silence. What gives? Can't handle the truth?

"Continue please, Bella," Carlisle said eventually. "He… electrocuted you."

"Yeah," I nodded. "But he did care about me! He even put his belt between my teeth so I wouldn't break em! You see!"

He nodded, probably just to get me to carry on telling my story.

"So, anyway, when the juice hit my brain it was such a rush! It felt like my brain was being flossed! When I finally got free, he was gone."

"So, how did you find him?" Jasper asked.

"When I got outside, I saw him driving away in his fancy car. I couldn't lose him, Jasper, I knew I couldn't! He was all I had… I couldn't bear another person I loved leaving me. I went a little crazy." I suddenly laughed, realizing how crazy I'd really become.

I saw Edward frown at my words. Oh, I wished he was feeling devastated that he'd let this happen. It was his fault, after all.

"I hopped on a motorcycle that was just sitting on the floor, key still in the ignition. Probably belonged to a guard. Once they saw Mistah J they musta ran!" I giggled. "Anyway, I started following him. He kept speeding up, but so did I. In fact I was riding right by his window! I wasn't about to let him go!"

"That's when he stopped for you?" Carlisle asked, his eyes super curious.

I shook my head. "Nope. In fact, he turned away like he didn't wanna look at me. That made me mad as hell! I'd done everything for him! I loved him! I thought he loved me too…"

"What did you do?" he asked.

At this point, I was so excited about telling my story I wasn't even irritated at all the questions.

"I sped up. I raced past his car and skid to stop a few meters in front of it. I hopped off and stood in front of the bike."

"So, you wanted him to run you over?" Alice asked, raising her brow.

I laughed again. "No, silly! I really wanted him to stop… But if he wasn't going to, I figured I'd prefer to be run over than be without him. I'd rather die than have someone walk out on me again, Alice."

She nodded. She actually looked… calm? Or understanding? I didn't know anymore.

"Well… he stopped!" I said, gleefully. "He actually stopped for me! Without even thinking, I banged down on the hood of his car. I yelled at him, told him he wasn't going to leave me! He couldn't! He got outta his car and walked up to me…" I sighed, remembering how handsome he looked that night. "I told him that I loved him. That I've proven it, time and time again… I couldn't understand why he wasn't letting me in!"

"So…" Carlisle started. "He gave in to you then."

"Not without a fight," I said. "First, he said he wasn't someone to be loved. He was an 'idea'. A state of mind. He said that he had a plan, and that… I wasn't part of it."

"How did you convince him?" he asked, genuinely interested-looking.

"I didn't have a chance to. Some guy got outta a truck behind him and started yelling that we were holding up traffic. I got so mad. This was such a critical moment for us, and this guy was interrupting! Without thinking, again, I pulled the gun out from Mistah J's belt and shot the guy."

They all looked shocked.

"You… killed him?" Alice eventually asked.

"It was the first time I ever killed for Mistah J… for us. My mind was everywhere. I turned the gun to Mistah J next. I thought he would get scared. That he'd give in and accept that I loved him. That he'd give me a chance…"

I looked down at the tiles and had to take a breath.

"All he did was laugh. He started making fun of me. He even put the gun against his forehead and told me to shoot. I was heartbroken. My heart scared him… but a gun didn't? I think he knew I'd never shoot him. I didn't have it in me… I'd rather kill myself…"

I thought back to how broken I felt that moment. How defeated and ugly I was. What was wrong with me that everyone wanted to leave?

"And then…" Carlisle asked.

I looked up at his face. "He took advantage of my confusion, I guess, and grabbed the gun outta my hand." I chuckled. "Then he looked at me, kinda confused. He said if I wasn't so crazy, he's think I was insane…" I smiled. "I think that's when he knew how much I loved him. He finally let me in!"

There was a long moment of silence. This time, nobody tried to push me to talk more. But I did anyway.

"He took me back to the place he had his accident."

"Where he fell into the toxic waste?" Carlisle asked. "The reason he became psychotic?"

"We were standing above the big waste tubs," I explain. "I knew he wanted me to be like him, so we could be together…"

"He pushed you into the waste?" Edward said. His voice was strained.

I pointedly looked at him. "Actually, no." I turned back to Carlisle. "He asked me if I'd die for him. I said yes, of course. Apparently, that was too easy, too little to ask of someone you love. So then… he asked if I'd live for him." I paused. "I said yes. I knew I would. I'd do anything for him. And I have! I've killed for him too…"

I sighed. "Welp, he did believe me. But he wanted me to beg. He likes that, ya know. Begging."

I saw Edward tense up. I smiled.

"It turns him on, too," I added, just to piss him off.

It worked. He stood up, not able to relax I guess. When everyone was sure he wasn't going to be sitting back down, Carlisle turned back to me.

I laughed. "Well, I did. I told him I wanted this. I said please. I wanted to be with him forever. And if this is what I had to do, I'd do it. He walked away then and I knew what I had to do to prove myself. To make him stay."

"You jumped." Alice said, looking at the ground.

"I did. I turned to look at his beautiful face, and kept my eyes on him as I lifted my arms, and fell backwards. When I finally hit the sludge, it was hot. It also burned, but not in a heat way. In a chemical way. I felt it everywhere. I didn't even have the strength to push through it to get to the surface!"

I laughed. "After a minute, I was sure he had decided to leave me there to die. To get eaten up by the acid. For a moment, I doubted him. Then, I felt the sludge move and knew that he'd come in to get me. I was so happy! He pulled me up. I couldn't open my eyes yet, I was still in shock I guess. Then, I felt his lips on mine. It was done. I kissed him back as hard as I could."

I looked at each one of their faces. They were all sad-looking. What, was the thought of me being happy so saddening to them?

"We would finally be together! I didn't know how much the stuff would change me, though," I admitted. I grabbed a lock of my hair. "It turned white…my eyes changed too…"

"Probably due to a chemical reaction," Carlisle explained. "It most likely had the same effect on your brain."

I sighed. "Maybe. I don't know. All I know is that he saved me. And I love him. Always will."

At that, Edward ran out of the house. I didn't bother to look up. Once the door slammed, I knew he was gone.

"Bella," Carlisle said slowly. Hesitantly. "You do realize that he's been manipulating you from the beginning-"

"Shut up!" I said, cutting him off and standing up. "You don't know him!"

"Bella," he said, also standing. "He's using you. He's left you to be caught, when he got away."

"He was going to come back!" I insist. "He always comes back for me!"

"He hurts you," Alice chimes in. "The bruises may be faded to nothingness, but any vampire could see it, Bella, if they knew what they were looking for."

I growled. "Sure, my Puddin's a little rough sometimes. But he loves me! He does!"

"No, he doesn't." Alice's words were absolute.

"He does! I know he does!"

"How do you know, Bella?" Carlisle asks, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I looked at my feet.

"Because… he stayed."

I didn't even need to look at them to know they didn't like that reminder.

Whatever.

"I'm sick of this. I'm going to bed!"

I walk back to my little room and sit on the bed. My puddin' was coming soon. I kept reminding myself that I wouldn't have to put up with this for long. He'd come rescue me, like he always does. Just as I stood up to get the phone, I heard a tap on the door. I sat back down.

"Yeah?" I said.

"It's me, Bella." Carlisle stepped into the room, but didn't approach me. "Bella, we're not going to push you to forgive us-"

"Good," I interrupted. "Coz that's not gonna happen."

He sighed. "If there's anything we can do to make your stay here more pleasant, let me know, Bella. I'm going to try my hardest to help you through all this, but in the mean time I want you to start feeling at home."

"My only home is with Mistah J," I insisted.

He turned to leave, but just as he put his hand on the door I stopped him.

"A gym."

He turned, his face looking hopeful. The sucker.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"I want a gym. I wanna work out."

He smiled. "I'll have Emmett set something up for you."

I nodded. "Ya know, docta man, I don't hate you."

His brow furrowed. "Well… I suppose I'm glad about that."

"It's your idiot son I don't like."

He sighed again. Man, this guy sighed a lot.

"Bella, Edward feels awful for leaving. You know, he only wanted what he thought was best for you. He definitely didn't want this for you."

"That doesn't mean anything to me," I say, lying down on the comfy bed. "I want this for me now. He's gonna have to deal with that."

My eyes closed, and I heard the door click shut. Hopefully, my Puddin' would be here sooner, rather than later.

A/N Alright. Phew, that's a mouthful, but I'm glad its out of the way! At least now the Cullens know what happened. The next chapter will include Bella's treatment plan (according to Carlisle) and Bella and Edward's big confrontation.

Let me know what you think about her attitude towards Edward. She blames it all on him. Should she be more forgiving, or should she hold out a little longer?

I wanna know what you guys think