"So... why do you have a balisong in your cleavage?" Rize stood with her arms crossed as her daughters came home from work a bit later than usual.
"I'll explain, just gimme a second." Yuuki held up her free hand while she extracted the butterfly knife from her boob canyon. "Okay... so, there was a guy at the bar earlier, he was asking about our last job and yeah, we told him the whole story. After work, as we were about to hop on our bikes to leave, we hear someone get hit by a car behind us, so we turn around, it's that guy. I go check him, he's fucked... but I saw the knife was near one of his hands, and his phone's in the other, so I put two and two together; he tried to report us to the police like those other idiots have been doing since we started telling the story, but he got their speech thing and tried to take matters into his own hands and got smoked by a truck."
"So you took the knife... why?" Rize followed the whole story but still didn't see how the knife fit into it.
"'Cause he was gonna try to kill us while he was drunk off his ass. Call it Karma, but I rewrote his final moments from 'bad idea' to 'bad luck' instead." Yuuki flipped the knife open, revealing the Quinque Steel blade. "It's a decent looking knife, in all honesty."
"Not really, it's a bit rusty." Rachael pointed at the small patches of rust growing in the frame. "And it's a bit dull too." She also checked the blade, not caring that her finger started to bleed from it. It regenerate within a few seconds.
"Fine." Rize sighed in defeat. "Clean it, sharpen it, do whatever you want with it. But you practice with it outside, is that understood?"
"I sense experience on the matter." Tobias' chuckle came from the living room.
"I broke a window at Umbrella with a balisong I picked up during Raccoon City's destruction. I got too cocky with it, okay?" Rize also held up her hands, admitting her rather amusing failure with the weapon.
"Somehow I'm not surprised." Tobias' tone clearly denoted he was trying not to crack a smile. Trying and clearly failing.
The next morning, while the girls were getting ready for school and Tobias was talking on the phone to Koko, there was a knock at the front door, so Rize, the only one not occupied, answered it, only to glance down and see a very startling sight standing in front of her.
Koko heard Rize's panicked scream over the phone, and politely said. "I'll call you back, Tobias. Sound's important."
"Thank you, Koko." Tobias didn't like the sound of his wife's scream, so he hung up and unholstered Silence as he entered the foyer to find her covering her mouth with one hand, her gaze locked on the opened front door. "You alright?"
"Shoot him!" Rize didn't even explain, she just pointed at the door as she backed away. "I don't care, just shoot!"
Tobias' eyes narrowed. Something wasn't right, so he gripped the door handle with one hand, the other holding his gun at the ready before pulling it open and scowling at the sight before him.
"Start talking, kid." Tobias already knew this wasn't one of Serenity's illusions, the kid was making sounds - including a heartbeat - which her Photokinesis could not manipulate.
"Valentine." The silver haired, rather androgynous boy, clearly carrying the T-Virus since his hair glittered like Tobias', spoke up, staring Tobias right in the face. "My name is Valentine. I was told you're my dad, and she's my mom."
"Who told you that?" Tobias' grip on his gun hadn't faltered, something wasn't right.
"If I knew, wouldn't I have told you that up front?" Valentine replied sassily, but Tobias clicked the hammer back on his gun.
"No attitude, kid. Alright then... How did you get here?" Tobias glanced up and down the street, but there were no vehicles. The kid walked here, for sure.
"I walked the last bit, but I took a taxi." Valentine sighed. "Someone woke me up, said to come here, and gave me the money for the taxi. I don't remember anything else before that."
"Alright, kid, I'll keep it simple for you..." Tobias crouched down and stared him right in the icy blue eyes. "You're a clone, most likely created using my DNA. Now, there's two things I can do: First, as my wife said; I kill you."
"Second: You look into my creation, find who is responsible and act accordingly. I know, I'm not stupid." Valentine scowled. "I got nothing, all the money's gone, I have this outfit and nothing else! My pockets are empty, I never saw the person's face, and I highly doubt you have much to investigate with under these criteria."
"You're right, I don't... But I do have something in mind." Tobias glanced over his shoulder as Rize finally recovered from her shock and stood behind her kneeling husband with a frown on her face.
"He reminds me of your mother."
"I know." Tobias replied, turning back to Valentine with a serious expression. "Valentine, you know what a Ghoul is?"
"No, I don't." Valentine shook his head, which earned a sigh from Tobias.
"Well, shit." Tobias retracted the hammer on his gun and reholstered it. "Alright, things are about to get interesting, all over again." He stood up and held the door open. "Alright, inside. We've got a lot to talk about."
That action, of course, revealed Valentine to Yuuki and Rachael, who had been sitting on the stairs listening the whole time.
"He doesn't really remind me of Alice at all." Yuuki spoke up first, staring at the young, rather androgynous looking boy with all six of her eyes.
"My other mother, Yuuki... My human one." Tobias closed the door and lead Valentine into the kitchen. "Her original name was Yelena, but she changed it to Natalia Balilaika... You'd have hated her regardless."
"That's my middle name. Balilaika." Valentine stopped to face his supposed sisters, both of whom had six solid coloured glowing eyes. "Valentine Balilaika Darkwood."
"Toby, sweetie, I made sure that I killed her. I used her corpse for an art exhibit, remember?" Serenity was idly pacing, having spared Valentine only a brief stare before talking to Tobias and Alice, who was staring at the kid with an analytic gaze, not saying a word. "Even if she survived my attack, the formaldehyde that was pumped into her body would've certainly finished her off!"
"I don't know... Something about this doesn't feel right." Tobias stroked his jaw, thinking back to Raccoon City. He could've sworn he'd seen his human mother's name somewhere it shouldn't have been after her death, he just couldn't put his finger on it.
"He's got a few of yours and definitely a lot of your mother's facial structure, definitely got your hair and normal eyes. And he's got just a Russian accent. Toby, he's not a clone of you... He's your brother." Alice finally spoke up, still staring at the boy. "Bitch is still alive, whether we like it or not."
"So that begs the question; Where the fuck is she? Something feels way too familiar about this whole thing. I swear I've seen her name somewhere after Sere's art exhibition... Somewhere that it shouldn't have been in the first place, a list of something." Tobias glanced at what was essential himself from his early teens. "Valentine, how old are you?"
"Wow, a question I can actually answer!" Valentine's sarcasm was just oozing out of his voice and expression. "I'm fifteen."
"Shit..." Tobias muttered under his breath. "Sere, how exactly did you kill her in the first place? Aside from the formaldehyde, of course."
"I shoved a sewing needle into her jugular. Had to preserve her flesh as much as possible, after all. The formaldehyde was pumped into her corpse by Umbrella's technicians, so that might've been where things were changed or fucked with."
"Hmm... You have a point..." Tobias stroked his lip with his thumb, a very old habit that both women recognized. "Wait a second..."
"Yeah, I just had that thought too..." Alice caught his gaze, realizing that Sere had been given Balilaika's clone. "The one from the art exhibition was an Umbrella-made clone."
"Well then... Valentine, the way things stand, you have two options: my son... or my brother? How would you prefer to identify yourself in our eyes?" Tobias spoke to Valentine, who smirked for a brief moment.
"Son, let's try to keep things easy to understand, for all involved." Valentine replied, watching Serenity shrug and Alice chuckle to herself. "So, I guess introductions are in order?"
"I'm your adoptive grandmother, Alice." Alice introduced herself, then turned to Serenity. "This is Serenity, my wife. We both carry the T-Virus, and we're also both Ghouls."
"And the twins from earlier... are those my sisters?" Valentine was clearly piecing each other member of his family together for himself.
"Yuuki's the one with blue eyes, and Rachael's the one with the red eyes. Your mother, the one you scared, that's Rize." Tobias explained as he withdrew his phone to check the time. "You also have an aunt and an uncle. Your aunt's name is Tabitha, but she goes by Mishka. Your uncle's name is Kaneki."
"Anyone else?" Valentine asked, counting up to nine on his fingers.
"No, there's only the nine of us. We're called the Darkwood's, T-Ghouls, or the bioweapons. Now, you need to come with me, there's some things we need to sort out immediately. Alice, Sere, if you two aren't busy, could you handle the rest here?"
"Sure thing, I'll let Mishka and Kaneki know to come over this evening." Alice stood up from her seat as Valentine joined his father. "See you when you get back."
"So, you're Valentine." Tabitha and her wife, Hinami, were already waiting for Tobias and Valentine to arrive, both seated on the stairs when the two of them opened the front door, each carrying bags in hand. There were also a few boxes behind them, held up by Tobias' Telekinesis. "I'm Tabitha, but everyone calls me Mishka. This is my wife, Hinami."
"Good evening, it's a pleasure to meet you." Valentine bowed his head slightly as the boxes formed a neat stack in the hall. "May I ask..."
"Just a normal Ghoul, I don't have the T-Virus." Hinami smiled, noticing that Valentine was dressed very androgynously. He was wearing white cargo pants, a rather feminine sleeveless black shirt under a white off-shoulder light sweater. His hands were clad in the same black pair of lacy fingerless gloves that Yuuki always wore. Loosely tied around his neck was a black bandana, and resting rather proudly on his forehead was a pair of steampunk goggles. All in all, the femboy engineer-like outfit masked his gender just as easily as his slightly uptilted Russian accent.
"Of course, thank you." Valentine smiled at the preemptive answer to his question. His father had explained that the family had humans, Ghouls, and even cyborgs as close friends, who had all been summoned to the home for proper introductions.
"Leave the bags here, me and your grandmother will handle the bags and boxes. Everyone's in the kitchen." Tobias had arranged everything by phone, so he gestured for Valentine to proceed without him.
Of course, Valentine had no idea who was waiting for him, but regardless he deposited the bags he was holding and walked into the kitchen to come face to face with a lot of people.
"There he is. You must be Valentine." One of the woman, who had fiery red hair and a very substantial bust, spotted him right away. "Natasha Foxwing, I'm one of the humans you were told about. I work with your father."
"Name's Jake Muller, I'm Yuuki's boyfriend." The second redhead, a guy with a scar on his face, spoke up with a smirk. "I'm human too, but with a bit of a twist. I'm the son of a manufactured human, so I'm able to regenerate injuries faster than a normal human."
"I take it there's a story behind that one?" Valentine asked, and of course Jake nodded.
"A long one, yeah." A short blonde girl nudged her elbow into his ribs before addressing Valentine directly. "I'm Sherry Birkin, I'm Yuuki's girlfriend. Me and this moron here share your oldest sister. Hard to explain without her here."
"Speaking of which... Where is she?" The next person to speak up was Kaneki, who Valentine already knew was his uncle. "I'm Kaneki, your uncle." He briefly introduced himself as two women came around the corner of the L shaped kitchen. One was purple haired with red eyes, the other... was clearly a cyborg.
"Motoko Kusanagi, and this is my wife, Mato. But she goes by Stella." The taller one - purple hair and red eyes - held out her hand for Valentine to shake, which he did, then did the same for Stella's metallic grasp.
"We're both cyborgs." Stella explained as Valentine opened his mouth to speak. "We're family friends, and we work for Tobias sometimes."
"I presumed as much, but that wasn't my question, Stella. I was going to ask how much of your body is made of that Titanium-Carbon Polymer alloy?" Valentine asked, which seemed to surprise both of the cyborgs.
"How did you know what I'm made of?" Stella regarded him suspiciously, not even Motoko or herself knew the other parts of the alloy, aside from the Titanium of course.
"When you shook my hand, I just... knew." Valentine stared at their still grasped hands, which earned a chuckle from behind him. It was his father.
"Magnokinesis. You can manipulate magnetism, and it seems you can tell exactly what any metallic object is made of too." He smirked as their handshake was quickly dropped. "I noticed when we were dealing with the CCG this morning. I heard the magnetic interference when we passed near the RC Cell Detectors."