Dear Diary
Chapter eighteen: Crazy, but it feels alright
XXX
A/N: Well, well, the day after the big date!
I find it *so* funny that one of my readers from another story (Yes, I'm talking to you, Arturo!) ended up here by sheer accident! Lol! So… Figured that was worth another update ;) Even though, so far, that's the only review I got on chapter 17 – oh well, call me impatient. It's what I am after all ^.^
My wonderful Beta goes by the name of Marina – Mine, you can't have her! I already keep her way too busy with all my stories, you back off!
Oopsie… I might just be a tad possessive ;)
Eh, I don't mind. I'd probably tell them all the same thing :)
I do not own Naruto. I only own my own creativity (Though my mother would have you believe that is actually hers… Don't believe everything you hear, folks)
XXX
Dear Diary,
I still find it hard to believe how truly lucky I am.
Kakashi loves me. He took me on an amazing date. He kissed me. He hurt me – twice. But mostly… He loves me.
I cannot wait to see him again. Kiss him again. Hopefully not get hurt again…
Sincerely, Gai M.
XXX
I awake from a light slumber, still feeling tired after tossing and turning for most of the night. My head hurts, and I am definitely dehydrated. But it is all worth it. Kakashi is worth this and so much more. I still find it hard to believe that any of this is actually happening, that any of it is real. But it is, I know for sure because I forgot to change into my pajama's last night – well, not forgot, more like, refused, because my clothes still smell a little like Kakashi. It almost feels as if I have spent the night in his embrace.
Now that's an embarrassingly silly notion! I blink, rolling out of bed. I need a shower, clean clothes and to have my head checked for severe injuries. There is no way I just thought that. On the other hand… I am pretty sure that I did. I will just chalk it up to a lack of sleep for the time being. I am quite certain I do not actually have a head injury anymore. Only a sprained wrist. The shower and change of clothes are a must though – it would be too embarrassing to go out without those things.
XXX
As I leave my apartment, showered, shaved and in a clean jumpsuit, I make for the gate. Running five laps around the village is part of my routine after all. But I find that my legs refuse the ordered jog, and they turn into an alley that definitely does not lead to the gate. Sighing, I turn on my heels. But my treacherous feet turn into the next street that would lead me to their intended destination. I frown, turning back on the main street once more. I'm on my way to the gate, not… Well, wherever my feet are taking me again. There really are too many streets leading that way…
I pull a face, but resign myself to my fate. Allowing my feet to take me wherever they want to go. I already know their destination, though I am unsure if I am happy about this. Actually, I am sure. Just torn. Fifty-fifty. Yes, I want to go there. No, I think I should keep my distance for a little while. Either way I should train. No matter what happens, I need to train. But it seems that this morning, I will not.
This is ridiculous! I even trained yesterday morning! It's still way too early! There is no way –
"Gai!"
I swallow. Frozen in place.
He walks toward me, "Shouldn't you be out training right now? Five laps around the village, right?"
I cannot answer him.
"Gai?"
None of my muscles seem to be responding right now. My tongue is a useless flap of meat, and my knees have turned to jelly. It is a wonder I am still standing.
"Okay… Now you're worrying me… Gai? Please?" Pleading with me, his voice drops to a whisper, "Was yesterday that bad? It was, wasn't it? You've come to tell me not to bother anymore, right? Right. I pushed too much, is that it? I shouldn't have –"
Finally, I find my voice, interrupting the insecure monologue, "Kakashi, I did not come to tell you not to bother, and I already told you yesterday that it was quite possibly the best day of my life. I should be training, yes. However, my feet decided that I should come see you instead. I was on my way over to your apartment, even though I realized that you were most likely still asleep. And I have no idea what I am thinking right now, all I know is that I want to be near you, and that I do not ever want to be not near you…" A little out of breath, I stop speaking. Sucking in air in slight desperation. Forgetting to breath while saying so much might not have been my brightest moment. Saying so much may not have been my brightest moment either. In fact, I am quite sure it is not. Kakashi is looking at me as if I have gone insane, and he is most likely right. The way I am conducting myself right now is humiliating…
"Gai…? Are you telling me you were on your way over to my place, while I was on my way over to the gate to wait for you there? I figured you'd already left but I wanted to… I dunno… Maybe, talk some more?" He rubs the back of his head a little uncomfortably, and despite it all, I chuckle.
"It would seem so, Kakashi…" I blink when a thought hits me, "But if you were planning to wait at the gate… You do realize you would be subject to whatever Izumo and Kotetsu would throw at you, do you not?"
"Yeah…" Pulling a face, he looks away for a brief moment, "I kind of figured that if they had the guts to say anything, I'd just beat their asses all the way to the hospital… I'd rather kick them all the way to Suna, but I figured I wouldn't be back in time to catch you if I did that, so…"
Another chuckle escapes me, "Nearly breaking just my wrist isn't enough for you, my rival?"
"Well," He smiles at me, his stance finally relaxing as his tone lightens up, "Yours was an accident… And besides, what better way to prove my love than to kick those annoying idiots out of your life, right? You've been complaining about them for years now, I just thought I'd clean house," He is grinning beneath the mask, and it makes me smile as well.
"How about we don't kick anyone all the way to anywhere and just find ourselves a good place to have breakfast? You can prove your love by accompanying me to my favorite place, though that would mean going all the way back to my apartment, since it is basically across the street from my place," And then after, maybe I will invite you up again. But I am not sure yet. I want to, but this whole thing is daunting for me, so I'll not speak of it yet.
Kakashi leans over for a moment, whispering in my ear in a voice that is so sensual I literary get the shivers, "I'll do anything to prove my love for you, Romeo."
XXX
Our orders are placed, the privacy curtain drawn, and we are sitting here. In complete and utter silence. I do not know what to say, and apparently, neither does Kakashi. I would call this situation awkward at best. He clears his throat, and I look at him expectantly. Kakashi has found something to say! But it seems he does not, as the only thing I get for my trouble is a self-conscious look. I worry the inside of my lip, our silences have never been this uncomfortable before. And yesterday, the only silences we had were the result of our lips melting together.
"Gai," His tone is quiet, "This is ridiculous… Why the hell are we being so awkward all of the sudden?"
I shrug, but as Kakashi frowns lightly I realize he would rather I answer him out loud. He has a point, anything to break this silence, "I do not know, Kakashi. The situation has changed too much too sudden… I do not know how to adjust…" Embarrassed, I let my head drop, hands folded between my shaking knees.
He scoots over in the booth, only stopping when his body is right beside mine on the leather couch. A hand gently lifts my chin so I will look at him. Kakashi's tone is even quieter than before as he rests his forehead against mine, "Here's some things that didn't change. You're still Maito Gai, and I'm still Kakashi Hatake. We're both still jounin from Konoha. I'm still madly in love with you, and by now I'm pretty sure you're also still," He chuckles lightly, "In love with me. The only thing that's really changed is that now we know about that. And now I know what I've been missing my entire life. I'm not about to give any of that up again, Gai."
I feel a smile tug at the corners of my mouth, "You're right. But right now I am missing something dearly," I almost chuckle but manage to hold it in, even as Kakashi pulls away, shock on his face.
"What –"
He frowns as our conversation is interrupted by the arrival of our breakfast and I can no longer hold back my chuckle. As I wait for the food to be placed on our table and the waitress to leave again, I study my rival's face. Despite the mask, I have always been able to see his expressions quite clearly. It always amazes me how much difficulty others seem to have in accomplishing the same task. When the privacy curtain is closed behind the waitress once more, I smile. Kakashi is taking the mask off and I always love this sight. And finally, finally, I feel like I am allowed to love the sight. So I take it all in.
"What?" Confused, he looks at me, his cheeks a little pink.
I cock my head to the side, "I love watching you take that damned thing of your face, is all. Which brings me back to my previous point," I almost grin as his expression changes from confused to embarrassed and back to confusion.
"You said you were missing something… I don't understand…"
He looks at me worriedly, and I decide to put Kakashi out of his misery. It is not fair to play with this man's already fragile mind.
"What I'm missing is easily remedied, Kakashi," I smile reassuringly, leaning over a little, I whisper, "Kiss me."