Chapter 16: Loving you
Scully tosses and turns in the bed restless, after seeing her double she isn't able to fall asleep, she feels uneasy and scared. She is not a woman who believes in such things, but the case is really bizarre and she can't help feeling the creeps. Suddenly she feels that there is someone behind her, she turns around in bed to discover that there is nobody, she begins to breathe with difficulty and gasps several times trying to catch her breath and also, her sanity.
She tries to calm down, but she is not even able to close her eyes of fear that when she opens them, she might find an unpleasant surprise. She stands up and walks towards Mulder's room, he is asleep with his back to the door, to avoid the devil, like her, she realizes that in this case, she is the devil.
He feels her presence and turns to see her - Oh. Speak of the devil - he says with amusement, she looks at him with puppy eyes and sighs
- I can't sleep, Mulder - she says with a pout
He looks at her with surprise, he remembers the times that she could not sleep while they lived together, they were always moments when her faith faltered or she felt helpless and sad - What's the problem? -
She moves nervous changing the weight of her body from one foot to the other - Something about this case is getting under my skin - she says exhaling forcefully
He half smiles, se rarely shows this kind of feelings - Well, we've had stranger cases, Scully-
She pouts, and he realizes she's really nervous - Can you hold me? - she says with a trembling jaw
He nods without think it twice - Yeah. I can do that - he says pulling the covers so she can snuggle under it, she lies on the pillow on his arm, he moves closer holding her completely from behind, they remain quiet for a while, none of them close their eyes, it feels good, too good, it's the first time they're so close in a case, the first time they share a room, the first time they're more than professional colleagues in the middle of an x file and both are enjoying it.
- What's gonna happen? - she says quietly after a while, Judy's words hit her in a way she didn't expect, they're getting old and they are alone, the future seems lonely too, if they don't do something about it, but she needs to know if they can really try again, if this is not just about have some fun and then split again.
- What's gonna happen when? - he asks breathing so close to her that she feel her skin born.
- When we're old - she says knowing how it sounds, that are old, he's close to 60, that's not relatively young, it's relatively old, even the 60s are the new 50s and so on.
- What do you mean "when"? - he says with a smirk, he's thinking the same, they are not getting any younger.
- I mean, sooner or later we're gonna retire and… Are we gonna spend time together? - her voice is sweet and he can feel a bit of concern in her question, he thinks she is absolutely cute and try to light the situation.
- I'll come push your wheelchair with my wheelchair - he says with a chuckle, she chuckles too, he's always sweet and funny, but she needs more, she needs some security.
- That's not what I mean - she says quietly again making him think, he tries to understand her, she's been asking weird questions, like do you think of as old that was unexpected to him, but also sweet, men also think about this things, he had been having back pain and he also needs a new pair of glasses, but he feels young, that's what really matters, at least that's what he thinks
- Oh, I'll always be around, Scully. Offering bulletproof theories of genius that you fail to assail with your inadequate rationality - his words are low but his time is deep and truthful, she smiles and closes her eyes for a few seconds, she loves science and he loves her loving science, that's pretty clear, but he doesn't say it very often and she is enjoying it
She finds the perfect answer to that - And I'll always be around to prove you wrong. Hmm. Promise - she says with a chuckle, he smiles pleased, he loves her, that's the truth, and he wants her close to him, always
They keep quiet for a moment enjoying themselves, the heat of their bodies, this closeness is always good, but she needs more, she needs to know if he will stay, if they can be together again - No, but that's not what I mean - she says breathing out, releasing her fears
- What do you mean? - he says with a sigh, he feels so relaxed next to her, he wanna be like this forever
- What if you meet someone?.. What if you meet someone... younger who wants to have kids? - she says testing the water, she needs to know, it's the right time, she hopes for the best
- Oh, that's what you mean… - he sighs again, she is being open with her feelings, that's something he appreciates, she is not holding back, now he had to be honest - Well you could do the same. You could meet someone and have kids - that's good fear too, she is a very attractive woman, she might have some affairs while they were apart.
She laughs, she didn't expect a question back, was he asking seriously? He knows her, so he must know the answer to that - Mulder, that's not gonna happen -
- That's nonsense - he refutes
- No, it's not... I'm... I'm at the end of that journey - she says sadly
- Do you want to have more kids? - he asks with interest, they didn't have the chance, when they were running, she didn't want any kids, and William's memory was still heavy on their shoulders.
- Well I would have liked to have had another one - she says thinking about it, it was an unexpected question, but she really thought about a big family when she was young, after William was difficult think about it, and later, Mulder's depression, she didn't want children with anyone else but Mulder
- At the risk of sounding insensitive, what's stopping you? -
- Mmm besides the fact that the first time was a miracle? And besides the fact that I don't have anyone to have one with even if I could? - both things are true, they might hurt, but is her reality
- You're a woman of science - he says in her ear
She chuckles, science won't help her now, and what kind of future awaits - Mulder, sometimes I think the world is going to hell and that we're the only two people who can save it -
- The world is going to hell, Scully. The president working to bring down the FBI along with it - that's their reality now, the worst one
She meditates his words, she quit to the hospital, the x files are all they have now - What if we lose our jobs? - she asks with a frown
That hit him - Yeah. Then what would we do? - both stay quiet thinking about it, it's not a simple question, it's actually a challenge, what will they do?
She turn to look at him resting in her back - We'll think of something - she says with a smile, he smiles too looking deep into her eyes, that woman is perfection, he leans closer to her and brush his lips against hers, she corresponds to his kiss with sweetness - what are we doing Mulder, are we really trying something, or is this just fun, how do we get here? - She asks him with sincerity.
He looks at her and swallows, he just wants to be by her side, take care of her and love her forever, he sighs and sticks his head on the pillow next to her laying his forehead right to his face - I just want to make you happy Scully, it's the only thing I've always wanted - he takes his face off the pillow and looks at her again, she puts her arm behind his neck and begins to kiss him, moving slowly towards his chest, until half of her body is on top of him.
He smiles with pleasure and kisses her greedily separating his lips to let his tongue play inside her mouth, she moans with pleasure, and lets both tongues meet, he takes her hips and pulls her up completely on him, she caresses his neck and chest in such a sensual way, that an erection begins to hit her thigh making her smile - I think someone joined the party - she says between kisses, he nods with what sounds like a groan of pleasure and flips her over, to stay on top of her, he stares at her for a moment with such an expression of love, that makes her eyes smile - this is the something I was talking about - he nods with a smirk and kiss her again, and this time he won't let go.