Kiss The Girl (The Little Mermaid) – Alistair/Fem!Warden

Zevran watched, wincing as that oaf of a warrior cracked joke after awkward joke. Didn't the fool realise that everyone knew what he was thinking? Perhaps everyone, he thought, except the fair Lady Warden herself.

Sharing a glance with Leliana, who had been watching the two as closely as he had been, Zevran nodded. A wicked smile played on his lips as he formulated a plan. He was, after all, the lothario of their motley crew – if he couldn't help Alistair, with the aid of their friends, of course, then the little affair between the Wardens would never happen. It was all about creating… the mood.

Standing up, using all of his skills to be as soundless as possible, he motioned to his companions. "Percussion!" he whispered to Oghren, who gleefully began patting on empty tankards. "Strings!" Leliana picked up her lute. "Winds!" Wynne sighed, and pulled a flute from her pack. "Words," he finished, trusting himself with that part.

Stalking through the shadows to behind Alistair, he began to sing. "There you see her. Sitting there across the way. She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her…" Alistair looked around, confused. Zevran rolled his eyes. "And you don't know why, but you're dying to try – you wanna kiss the girl."

The Warden seemed not to have heard. Alistair, however, looked as if he were in a sudden quandary. "Yes, you want her – look at her, you know you do," Zevran continued. "It's possible she wants you, too , there is one way to ask her – it don't take a word, not a single word – go on and kiss the girl."

Nothing. Zevran turned to his companions, hastily. "Sing with me now," he murmured, moving to another place before Alistair could spot him.

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh, my, look at the boy too shy, he ain't gonna kiss the girl!" they lamented, looking at each other helplessly. "Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad? Ain't it shame? Too bad…"

"You gonna miss the girl," commented Zevran, sadly. He wouldn't let a fellow man miss out on a lovely woman because of the man's own stupidity.

The Warden stood, moving toward the lake they camped by. She motioned Alistair over, who followed her, like a puppy. Zevran followed, silently.

"Now's your moment," he whispered from the shadows. "Sitting by a blue lagoon. Boy, you better do it soon, no time will be better!" The Warden had gone quiet, playing with her fingers. Zevran watched Alistair's panicked expression with pity. "She don't say a word," he advised, "And she won't say a word until you kiss the girl."

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don't be scared!" came the voices of their companions, encouragingly. "We got the mood prepared, go on and kiss the girl! Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don't stop now! Don't try to hide it, how you wanna kiss the girl."

Zevran joined in with their song, as Alistair took the Warden's hand, spurred on by their song. "Sha-la-la-la-la-la, sit right down, listen to the sound, the sound says 'kiss the girl'! Sha-la-la-la-la-la, music play, do what the music say! You wanna kiss the girl."

The tension was palpable as Alistair leaned in to the Warden. Her eyes widened as she realised what was happening, and she leaned in in time.

"You've got to kiss the girl!" whispered Leliana, urgently.

"Why don't you kiss the girl?" muttered Morrigan, rolling her eyes.

"You gotta kiss the girl!" mumbled Oghren, leaning forward to see them more clearly.

"Go on and kiss the girl!" cried Zevran, impatiently.

Just as their faces came within inches of each other, a deafening cry came from the woods behind, and a horde of darkspawn came crashing toward the camp. Alistair and the Warden sprang up, their faces crimson, and rushed toward them.

Zevran had never been so disappointed at the chance to kill things.

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Up Next: The Wardens promote their new society.