Unlike Alya and, apparently, most of the rest of the class, Nino wasn't overly invested in Marinette and Adrien's relationship. Sure, Marinette had a ridiculously obvious crush and Adrien was the definition of oblivious, but the two were chill. Well, okay maybe not "chill", but they're both cool. He didn't really understand why it was such a big deal. They were awesome and Nino could definitely see them being great together but all he really cared about was that they were happy and having fun.

Plus, he did happen to know who Marinette's soulmate was.

Boy had that come as a shock. Mostly because Nino knew exactly who said soulmate was before they actually told each other, so when Marinette came to him telling him about how Chat Noir was somehow her soulmate, Nino knew immediately. He hadn't been as close to her as others, but he had been in the same class as Marinette for a lot longer than Adrien and Alya had. He recognized her art the first time Adrien showed him a picture of his arm totally tatted up after school one day.

It was pretty cute if Nino was going to be honest. Adrien was so excited about it and he spent a couple hours at least just stupidly grinning at all the different parts. Nino had seen Marinette draw on herself to that extent exactly six times prior, and knew very well that she was stressed to heck, but he didn't say anything since he rarely saw Adrien smile like that and he didn't want to make his best friend worry for her. He just let him think that she was drawing for him, and shook his head at how much of a hopeless romantic Adrien was. Besides, it wasn't any of his business. The whole soulmate thing was weird anyway and Nino was not about to get mixed up in those kinds of shenanigans. Not that that plan worked out well.

He still needed to talk to Adrien about it but he couldn't exactly just ring up his best bro like "what up I know you're a superhero". No, he had to be gentle with Adrien, if he even confronted him about it at all. At that point Nino was pretty sure the non-confrontational path was probably the best. If I don't say anything, then it doesn't matter. It's not like it changes anything between us anyway. Besides, what would confronting him about it do? I get why he hasn't told me.

Nino decided that, through all these weird things that were happening: his best bro being Chat Noir, that same bro being absurd and convincing everyone he had a massive and painfully obvious crush on his soulmate who is both not Ladybug and also just told him that she didn't want to rush into that kind of relationship, it was probably best to just stay out of it as much as possible. Or she's not Ladybug as far as I know… you know what, honestly, even if she is, that is a bridge I'm not even going to look at. It's none of my business.

If there was one thing Nino was good at, it was minding his own business. Sometimes, though, everyone else really made it difficult. With a glance up, he caught sight of Rose, nearby off to the side of the courtyard with Juleka, waving him over. "Hey girls," he said when he approached.

Rose was practically vibrating. "Nino, you have to tell us, what was that look Adrien gave Marinette in class yesterday?"

Nino was sure something twitched, he hoped it was something not noticeable. Because he'd been hearing about this look Adrien had apparently given Marinette, and surprisingly not even from Alya. Everyone apparently just thought he was the inside scoop on all things Adrien. "Okay was I the only one actually taking notes instead of staring at Adrien? Like, the dude is good-looking but gosh."

Juleka smiled at him. "Marinette was taking notes too."

"Nino, come on please," Rose begged, "does Adrien have a crush on Marinette? When did he figure it out? How bad is it? No, never mind, that look told me exactly how bad it is. How did it happen?"

Nino just shrugged. "Dude, I didn't even see this infamous 'look', so I'm afraid you're out of luck."

"Nino!" He flinched at the shrill voice behind him, not even bothering to turn around to face her. Chloe got in his face soon enough anyway. "Can you believe everyone's saying Adrien likes Marinette now?" She scoffed.

Hardly. I mean I saw the pining when we got to school this morning but that everyone is so convinced after one look is really silly. Pfft, as if I'm ever going to agree with Chloe though. "Uh, hi Chloe. Why are you talking to me?"

Chloe lifted her nose to the air and huffed. "I can talk to who I want!"

"I mean yeah, but you, like, never talk to me. I thought we were on 'ignore and hope they go away'."

"Anyway, obviously we're all just imagining things. Right, Nino?"

"I literally did not see it but there is no way I'm backing you up here."

"Adrien would never look at Marinette like that."

Rose held onto Juleka, looking frightened of Chloe, but she still managed a steady voice. "I'm pretty sure he was making hardcore heart eyes at her."

"Well you're imagining things!" Chloe exclaimed. "At Marinette. As if."

Minding his own business was Nino's specialty, but that didn't mean he'd sit idle while Chloe talked behind his friend's back. "Hey, what is that supposed to mean?"

Chloe waved him off casually (with her "casual" amounting to somewhere along the lines of "haughty"). "Just that Adrien is way too good for someone like Marinette. He's above her. He'd never think of her like that."

"If that's what you think, then I think we have very different ideas of who Adrien is, dude."

Rose gasped while Chloe just gave him a withering look. "So you think he does like her?" Rose asked.

Duh. She's his soulmate and he's a hopeless romantic. That stuff's bs but he believes it. "I didn't say that." Chloe adopted a much too superior smirk at his words. And believing it is all he needs to fall for her for real. "But Adrien def- actually, look, I'm not going to gossip about Adrien, alright?"

"Nino!" Another familiar voice called, attracting his attention. Alix walked past casually and gestured with her head for him to follow her. No rest for the wicked, huh? Am I wicked? Am I just being punished preemptively for some terrible crime I'm going to commit in the future?

"Well, see you, girls," Nino said, waving to Rose and Juleka before following after Alix. He trailed her straight out the front gate and kept going until she pulled him off to the side into the grass. "Okay, what did you want?"

"I have a question," Alix said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "You know as well as I do that Chat secretly wants Mari."

Nino gave her his best "unimpressed" look. "Do I?"

"Yes. You do. Cat behavior. Ears back means irritable, angry, or frightened. I'm going to venture a guess and say he was scared."

Nino thought back to the previous Friday. Chat Noir did have his ears back when Marinette told him she wanted to be just friends. "Why would he be scared? Sad, maybe, if he wanted more, not scared."

"Scared because he realized that they don't want the same thing and he's a hopeless romantic and he doesn't want to mess up what relationship he has with her."

I think it's more likely he was scared to tell her that he's Adrien because he has that idea that she hates him. That's a possibility too, though. He is a hopeless romantic. "Okay, say I'm convinced. What's your question?"

"I was just a little worried about him. He's too nice to say anything, but he clearly has something going on there, and with everyone on about that look Adrien gave Marinette, it could be only a matter of time before those two dorks get together."

"Please." Nino rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter how obvious they are; I guarantee you if they get together it will be because of direct influence from Alya. And maybe me, because of Alya."

"Result's the same, man. Normally, I wouldn't care, but if Chat Noir is heartbroken…"

Nino quirked an eyebrow at Alix's uncomfortable expression. "Less effective city saving?"

"Let's go with that, yeah."

"Actually," Nino said, looking carefully at her, "let's not. Why do you care about it?"

Alix cracked her knuckles, but bit her lip and looked away. "I'm only telling you this because I need info, DJ." She sent him a glare, effectively turning her intimidation factor back on and making Nino feel the need to swallow down his fear. I swear every girl I talk to is absolutely crazy. If she's not obsessed with someone, she's just plain terrifying. Alya's both. Maybe I have a trend. "I might feel kind of responsible for him."

"Why?"

"Well I did kill him once."

Nino remembered the Timebreaker incident, just like he remembered seeing all the news reports on the Bubbler incident. "Ah, I see." No more explanation was necessary for him. He very nearly made every adult in Paris fly into space, so he had a fair idea of what Alix was feeling.

Can I tell her that Adrien is Chat? Like, would that be chill to do? No, I don't think so. It's pretty clear at this point that Adrien could date Marinette and no one but me and Alya would know he's Chat. How they managed to pull that off, I'll never even begin to understand. Even if she was going to figure it out eventually, it's still pretty uncool of me to go around telling people about my best bro's secret identity.

So what do I say?

"So, do you know if Adrien likes Marinette or not?"

"Not really, girl. I was busy yesterday so I didn't talk to him."

"Do you know what Marinette thinks about Chat?"

Nino shrugged. "No. I can tell you that she cares about the soulmate thing about as much as I do. He'd have to legit woo her if he wanted a chance."

Alix rolled back onto her heels as she thought. "That's what I was afraid of. Well, looks like I have to involve myself in these weird soulmate shenanigans."

"Why would you have to get involved?"

"Obviously Alya is working her butt off to get Mari and Adrien together. As you said, those two would miss the broad side of a barn if it got torn off the building and chucked at them à la akuma."

Nino felt like it was in his best interest to back out right then and never even give Alix a chance to say what she was scheming. Mostly because he had a good idea of what it was. Mostly because if Alya found out, things would happen. Not all of those things would be good. Most of them wouldn't be good. Still, he found his mouth forming the word before his brain caught up. "So?"

"So I'm going to do the same thing, except I'm going to be better, and I'm going to get Mari with Chat." That is literally the same goal, please stop. "Alya has an advantage, being Mari's best friend. But it takes two to tango, and Adrien is totally helpless."

"Adrien actually knows how to tango."

Alix gave him a flat look. "Wonderful. Thank you for that fascinating information. I'll make sure it goes straight on my blog."

"You don't have a blog."

"Thank you, you're just full of amazing observations today, aren't you?"

Nino coughed awkwardly, not sure what to say. Why are people trying to set everyone up? It's like Beatrice and Benedick's love story, except they clearly actually like each other from the beginning and are just idiots who don't follow through.

God, I need to stop hanging out with Adrien. Since when do I think with Shakespeare references? It's all his fault. Freaking thespian. I am never letting him make me run lines with him again.

"Alya's got you whipped, so I'm not expecting your help."

"Excuse me?"

"But don't tell her I'm working against her. While that would be fun and it would distract her from her main goal, it would also distract me. I need to focus to pull this off. Not exactly my expertise, you know. And I can't exactly draw in outside help because identity shenanigans."

"Why do you even want to help him?"

"Nino, I freaking killed the guy. I'm going to at least try to get him with his crush."

"I don't think he thinks you owe him anything."

"Well then maybe I'm just bored." Alix threw up her hands, sighing exaggeratedly. "Who cares. I've decided I'm going to do it so those two will be together by next month or so help me I will fight Alya."

"Fighting Alya always ends badly."

"For one of us, it will."

Nino just shook his head. This is absolutely ridiculous. I am so out of here. I'm done. "Well, have fun with that. I'll just go to class and pretend this conversation never happened."

"Yeah, good. We never talked."

After class, surprisingly, it was Adrien and Alya who ran off together, leaving Nino in his seat to sigh and pack up his things at a rate resembling that of an actual human.

He finished packing his bag and turned to face Marinette. "So what's new?" he asked casually.

Marinette sighed. "Well for one, I'm not even entirely sure who Alya's trying to set me up with anymore. What do you think, Nino? Adrien or Chat?"

Literally it makes zero difference. Zero. None of the difference. God. "I don't know, do you like Chat?"

Marinette's face went a little red. She scoffed. "That obnoxious, loudmouth, flirt? As if that would ever happen. You know the soulmate thing is dumb anyway."

Nino resisted the urge to slam his head on the desk. He did not, however, successfully resist the urge to close his eyes, rub his temples, and mutter, "God, you are literally Beatrice, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Okay, look, B. We have to set one thing straight." Nino stared her in the eyes as he spoke. "I am not, in any circumstances, going to play Hero, okay? Not Hero, not Claudio, I'm having no part in this."

"You are making absolutely no sense."

"Ugh, it's just some dumb play that Adrien made me read. All the other characters convinced Beatrice and Benedick that the other one loves them."

He saw Marinette's mind working. "This isn't even almost like that."

"You're right. It's the exact opposite. You're waiting for someone to convince you that you like Chat."

"I am not! I'm capable of figuring out my own feelings, thank you!"

"I know you are, girl, but let's be real. He's your actual soulmate."

"For all that means anything."

"It means a lot to him." Nino frowned, his conversation with Alix running on repeat in his head. "Why don't you know who he is already, anyway?"

"You were there, Nino! He wants to be friends first." Because he thinks you hate him, goddamn it why can't we just tell you that you like each other! Why can't Alya just be Hero and get this all over with? Then Alix would be off the case before she does something stupid and Mari and Adrien would be dating and probably disgustingly cute like twenty-four seven.

I guess we have to somehow… convince Adrien that he's already friends with Marinette? Or at least convince him that Mari doesn't hate him so he can stop being terrified of that.

Wait. God, no. No shenanigans. This is not my business. If my best bro and Mari want to spend their days sassing around each other then who am I to stop them. I'm no Hero.

Goddamn it that was both a pun and a Shakespeare reference at the same time seriously Adrien I'm going to murder you, this is all your fault. Nino put his head down on his desk. I can hear you laughing at my suffering. Some best bro you are.

And they're not sassing around each other, they're just being difficult. Why can't I get this dumb metaphor out of my head? It doesn't even work!

Nino saw Marinette get up and move to his desk, gesturing for him to rise as well. Together, they began their walk out of the school. Is she not friends with Chat yet? Have they not been meeting at all?

Marinette sighed, giving Nino a look. "But then, I don't really know where the line for 'friend' is. I honestly don't really care much about his identity anyway." You will when he tells you he's Adrien. "And we're still a little awkward, so whatever happens there, happens."

"That's a good way to handle it."

"I thought so too." Marinette sighed. "Any idea why Alya's redoubling her efforts to make me confess to Adrien?"

Because he's your soulmate but you somehow managed to get yourselves in a position where you think it's someone else? "No. Maybe she thinks if you don't start dating Adrien soon, Chat Noir will sweep you off your feet."

"Which she seems almost equally excited about." Marinette rubbed her eyes and dragged her hand down her face. "But that's so not going to happen."

"Sure, Beatrice."

"Why are you calling me that?"

"Because! You're making such a big-" Nino cut himself off before he could finish his statement. He groaned and put his own face in his hands. "You're making much ado about nothing. Oh my god, Adrien is such a terrible influence on me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm just saying, girl. Just because he's your soulmate, that doesn't mean anything. You do whatever you want. It doesn't need to be complicated. Maybe do try to convince Adrien you don't hate him though."

Marinette's eyes went wide. "Wait, Adrien thinks I hate him?!"

"Yep."

"I thought I was being painfully obvious."

"So did everyone else."

Nino's phone vibrated. He took it out to see a text from Alix waiting for him.

A – Get the cat's phone number for me.
N – dude no way don't drag me into ur shenaniagans
A – Fine, I'll do it myself. Keep your pretty mouth shut.

Nino rolled his eyes and jumped when Alix appeared behind him not two seconds later. "Marinette!" she said pleasantly, smiling as both Marinette and Nino turned to face her. "Hey, my phone is dead, can I borrow yours to call my brother? He's picking me up today."

Marinette smiled back. "Of course!" she said, unlocking her phone and handing it over.

Just as Alix got a hold of the phone, another voice interrupted them. "H-hey Marinette."

Nino turned to see Nathanaël on the other side of them, effectively drawing Marinette's attention away from Alix. What the heck Alix? When did you even plan this? He caught sight of her cocky grin as she tapped away at the phone.

"Hey Nathanaël! What do you need?"

"I was just wondering if you had today's notes? I got a little distracted with a drawing and missed part of them." He rubbed his arm nervously, but kept his eyes on her. Nino, however, was looking back and forth between their conversation and Alix, who had, in a flash, copied down a number on the palm of her hand.

"Oh, yeah, I can send you a picture of them when I get home, would that work?" Nathanaël, for the first time, glanced behind Marinette at Alix, who had quickly typed in a number on the phone and was holding it to her ear.

"Yeah, that's great. Thanks a lot, Marinette!"

"No problem!"

Nathanaël scurried away just a little too quickly, but when Marinette turned around again, Alix was well into her conversation with her brother. "…yeah I'll meet you there. Cool, thanks bro."

She grinned, hanging up and handing the phone back to Marinette. "Thanks Mari, you're the best." With a wink, Alix walked away, after Nathanaël.

I cannot believe she just pulled that off.

"Anyway, what were we talking about?" Marinette asked. "Oh, right. Why would Adrien think I hate him?"

"Honestly, he thinks you're just a tiny ball of rage." Nino gripped his phone tightly, glancing over to see Alix disappear out the front gate of the school. "He's a little bit attracted to it, but mostly terrified."

Marinette started sputtering as her face turned red. "A-attracted?"

"Heck yeah, the dude's helpless." Nino wasn't really thinking about what he was saying. Instead, he was drafting his text in his mind.

N – did you seriously just steal chat noirs phone number

Marinette was still blushing and sputtering incoherently when Alix responded.

A – To be fair, if I had any hope of seeing him myself I would have just talked to him first. Alas, superhero.
A – But yes, yes I did. I told you bro, it's happening.

"I-I don't- I don't understand," Marinette said, finally.

That's when Nino realized what he told her. Oh shit, I wasn't supposed to say that. "Uh, yeah, haha. Don't tell him I told you."

"But why would he think I hate him?"

"Obliviousness? You're always blushing and stuttering around him."

"Exactly! You'd think he'd figure out that I like him!"

"Girl, don't ask me." Nino just sighed. "My dude isn't exactly the best with that kind of thing. But you're going to have to do something, because Alya and I have sworn to not tell him that you like him and we don't know how else to convince him that you don't loathe his existence."

Marinette let out a loud groan. Her phone let out a chime before she could actually say anything, though. "Oh, it's Chat," she said, unlocking it. Nino turned his attention to his own phone while Marinette responded.

N – what did you say to the cat
A – Oh, nothing. I just gave him some friendly motivation.
N – alix I stg
A – So now you care?
N – no I don't I don't care at all do what you want why would I care
A – mhmm
N – just please tell me you didn't threaten him
A – Of course I didn't threaten him. I just encouraged him to pursue the woman of his dreams :)
N – I do not trust you one bit
A – Chill, DJ. Everything's figured out.
N – that does not reassure anyone
A – Well that's your problem then.

Marinette drew his attention by sighing exaggeratedly. He looked up at her, and she just held her phone out to him.

CN – so purrincess, I hear you've found a new prince! care to enlighten me?

Oh my god, Alix told him to ask about Marinette's crush.

M – Yes I told you about that on my balcony. I also told you it's none of your business.
CN – but princess, I have only the noblest of intentions.
M – Right.
CN – I'm assuming they're some lucky boy or girl at our school. so I'm going to be your wingcat and make absolute sure they stop being dumb and missing your brilliance.
M – Sorry Tomcat, I've already got an Alya for that.
CN – kitty 2 kitty?

"Kitty to kitty?" Nino asked, reading the last message.

Marinette grumbled. "I made the mistake of letting him know my birthday." Nino had trouble connecting the dots, but thankfully Marinette elaborated. "He realized that I'm a Leo."

"Oh." Nino thought about the conversation. Don't get involved. Don't get involved. "Why don't you just tell him? What harm could he do?" Goddamn it.

"Well he could talk to Adrien, for one." He is Adrien! Oh my god!

At least if this does happen I won't have to deal with their pining. But god, what if Adrien starts reciting love poetry, he's bad enough as it is. "That'd be bad? I think Adrien and Chat would get along great."

"That's what I'm worried about."

Nino wasn't sure what to think. "What, you think Adrien would fall for Chat?" he teased. "I don't think that would work out, frankly."

"No, but now that you mention it, Adrien did ask me after the Evillustrator incident about how quote unquote 'awesome' Chat is." Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose. "And he kept trying to talk Chat up, I honestly wouldn't be surprised."

"Chat wouldn't steal Adrien from you. Not if he knew you liked him." And also because he is the same person. Why is this conversation happening? Why am I involved? This is terrible.

Oh god, I'm helping Alix, aren't I?

"I know, but I'm afraid Chat is trying too hard. I don't want him to even know about Adrien because if he did he'd try to help me and that would either hurt him or ruin all my chances with Adrien. Probably both."

"What makes you say that?"

Marinette sighed. "Chat was pretty clear to me that he was interested in romance." He was? "If he wasn't he wouldn't have brought it up as an option." When was this? "And I don't know how interested he is, but I can't let him put himself through trying to set me up with someone else if he really is interested."

"So you're just being too nice."

"Maybe."

Of course, if she does tell Chat about Adrien then Adrien will know she doesn't hate him. That would make it easier for Adrien to be around her, and hopefully, that would make it easier for her to be around him? Alix, what the heck. But Alix doesn't know that so what is she even trying to do? Is she just making sure Chat knows who he's competing with? Or, what if she does know, and she's just cleverer than I give her credit for? "Tell him not to do anything then. He wouldn't do it if you told him not to."

"I suppose you're right. There wouldn't be much of a harm. He already knows I like someone. Knowing it's Adrien wouldn't make too much of a difference as long as he promises not to interfere." That's a promise he can't keep. Marinette turned her phone so he could see as she typed a response to Chat.

M – Why do you even care?
CN – If my princess' prince can make her happy then I want to do everything I can to help.
CN – You're my soulmate and my friend and I want you to be happy.

Marinette rolled her eyes, sending Nino a pointed look after his message came in.

M – Fine. But only if you promise not to bother him.
CN – I will not lay paw nor whisker on him, if that is what my princess wishes ;3
M – And don't make a joke either, Tomcat. I know you're waiting for it.
CN – I would never!
M – It's Adrien Agreste.

There was no response, but a few minutes later, Nino swore he heard high-pitched screaming in the distance over the din of the courtyard. Whether that was Adrien or Alya, or just a random happenstance, or if he imagined it, he figured he'd never know. Heck, maybe there's another akuma or something. Or it's just public school.

Where they were standing, though, it was all too quiet. Marinette was fidgeting uncomfortably as they waited for Chat's reply, and Nino just didn't feel like anything he had to say was remotely comforting or intelligent.

"Why isn't he saying anything? I swear if that dumb cat tries to pull something, I'm going to murder him. I don't care if he is a superhero I will remove that dumb tail from his dumb butt."

He's probably just having a mental breakdown. At least that's through though. Nino unlocked his phone, glaring at his conversation with Alix.

N – I hate you
A – It worked then?
N – because of me ur welcome ugh why did you have to get me involved
A – You didn't have to. I had a backup plan.
N – I do not want to know
N – what are u even trying to do
A – Get them together, obviously. I have a few theories, and this move is beneficial regardless of whether they turn out true or not. It was just a logical start.
A – Heck, if the circumstances are right, this may be all I even have to do!
A – And don't even pretend to be bitter about this. I know you're as fed up with their antics as I am. And it was entirely your choice anyway, I didn't even ask you to help.
N – its still all your fault
A – Keep telling yourself that.

Marinette jerked in surprise when her phone buzzed. She looked at the message first before holding it out so Nino could see.

CN – the model? princess, what taste ;3
M – Just because he's not an alley cat
CN – I'll have you know that this alley cat knows how to clean up.
M – Not by licking yourself, I hope.
CN – ha ha. on the contrary. I use soap and water and everything.

This is actually painful.

CN – I bet if you met me without the mask you'd be blown away.
CN – Adrien Agreste would pale in comparison.

What are you even saying dude you're literally Adrien.

M – Consider me doubtful.
M – And I don't just like him because he's attractive!
CN – of course not. I know my princess needn't resort to such superficial attributes.
M – Shut up, Chat. Adrien's a nice person, and he's always kind and super respectful and he doesn't deserve everyone after him just because he's pretty.

Marinette kept typing, but she pulled her phone back so Nino stopped reading. He was not about to read over her shoulder. If she wasn't showing him, then it was none of his business.

Well, Benedick knows Beatrice loves him, but Beatrice still has no idea. Well, she has some idea, but shenanigans that make this metaphor null make things more complicated. Now he just needs to tell her he's Chat Noir and they can date and then we can all get back to our lives.

Except Alya's probably having way too much fun with this. I wonder what else she and Alix are going to do to make everything more complicated than it needs to be.

God, what is Adrien thinking right now? I should probably go talk to my dude soon. He still needs to explain that "look", or at least tell me what to say to people. Plus now that he knows Marinette likes him he's probably freaking out. With Alya, probably.