Wednesday, April 30th, 2014.

I made my announcement about my official reassignment back to the States today at lunch, just as the Seal Team Six guys advised me to do. Since I'd already prepared the fleet for it, the impact was nowhere near as devastating to them as it would've been if I'd just dropped this bomb on 'em without ever hinting towards it at all, but it still didn't matter for a few of the girls, who still came up to me and hugged me to thank me for all my service I'd done for them for the past four months. I tried to convince them that all I did was do my best in ensuring that they came back from every battle in one piece (and alive, too) and that I'd not really done a great job of that, seeing that we'd had a few deaths, including Kiyoshimo's perma-death. But the girls had the heart to overlook my mistakes, which I'm grateful for. Normally I'm used to working with people who nitpick every smallest mistake you'd ever made and dissect you like a lab animal and make you feel like shit, even if you'd tried your hardest not to show it on your face. At least I was able to enjoy that one small respite from my usual routine droll of Navy office work.

And thus came the wave of ship girls throughout the day who wanted to wish me luck when I fly back to the States next Monday. I told them they could give me their sentiments the day of or the day before, not now. It wasn't like I was going right away. But they didn't seem to listen, 'cause they all did so anyway. The disadvantages of never knowing what it's like being popular - you just don't get a good read on the situation. But then again, most honest, decent people don't regard themselves as celebrities or a big fucking deal. Then again, that's exactly why we have celebrities, but that's a topic for another day.

After lunch, when I headed back to my office to finish a report I'd been writing for the Navy brass, basically summarizing these past four or months in service with the Moebius Four Platoon, Ooyodo came in and with no delay gave me a tight hug. She asked - no, that doesn't quite cut it, she implored me to try to convince both HQ and my superiors back home in America, or anyone who was in charge of my posting here in Okinawa. But it's not like I can do much about the situation at hand. My reassignment is final, unless something were to happen to it. I wasn't going to waste my time trying to change an outcome I knew was pretty much set in stone at this point - really the only way for me to break these cuffs is to have some sort of insider planted among the inner circles of the Navy brass, but that's not going to happen because I have no such connections, as nepotistic as my history's been. Commander Terryfield doesn't count. And neither do my fucking parents.

But Ooyodo argued that it wasn't just about herself that she was asking me to stay. Sure, she'd come to admire and respect me as someone much more than just a naval officer, but the rest of the fleet needed me, too. She declared that I was the best Admiral they've had since their reconstruction. Well, to be more specific, she meant the best superior they've had thus far - in her words, a pragmatic, decisive Admiral who wasn't afraid to take risks and bear the blame for them and who also did everything he could to make their lives outside of fighting and combat as normal as possible instead of simply treating them as one of three things: straight soldiers, straight weapons, or just straight sluts as they'd often been treated as in the mainland. They'd been extremely lucky, in Ooyodo's words, that I was the one who was assigned to be their commander. If I truly cared for them, shouldn't I be scrambling to try everything I could to convince my superiors to change their minds and keep me posted here in Okinawa for an extended period of time? Because if I don't and let things just run their usual course, maybe the Platoon would get a much worse Admiral posted as my replacement, and who knows what kind of commander they'd get.

I just gave her a sigh and explained that while I was indeed worried about that possibility, she shouldn't let herself give into childish impulses. Despite all the lily-tinting that's been going on, this is, first and foremost, a military establishment, and the ship girls' primary role is with the military. The military is not a kindergarten or a boarding school - there will have to be tough choices that must be made sooner or later. And sometimes, you don't even get a choice, like now - you just have to bend over 'n take it, accept it for what it is and make the most out of it. And if Ooyodo didn't know what that felt like, well, girl, you gonna learn now.

I suppose this really pissed off Ooyodo, because she immediately started giving me a yelling tantrum. She said that there were so many other decent naval officers in the mainland who were low-rankers and would do anything for the power and prestige that I had, yet here I was sitting here saying that I can't do anything with it. She said that it wouldn't hurt to at least try to convince my superiors to change their minds, right? After all, it wasn't like I had anything to lose, and everything to gain in this situation.

And then she pulled the race card on me, and this made me pretty fucking salty, since one of my strongest pet peeves is racism intended to insult. I can deal with casual, benign racism in jokes or things like that, so long as they don't actually hurt anyone or is meant to hurt, but Ooyodo's was calculated, like a verbal weapon. She said:

"You are American, Admiral! If I'm not mistaken, the American ideology is one that encompasses freedom and the mindset that one can do anything if one puts his or her mind and soul into her actions! And yet you sit here telling me that there is nothing you can do? I was not aware that you had so deeply assimilated our culture that you have abandoned your American identity!"

I knew she wasn't saying that to explicitly insult me, per se, but nonetheless, like I said, it made me pretty fucking salty. But knowing that Ooyodo cared for me and wasn't saying these things to make me feel bad, and considering that she's done so much for me as my administrative secretary ship girl ever since her arrival here at Okinawa, I swallowed my salt. But, after she was done, I did proceed to dismantle her words and shred them to bits.

I said that caring and love came in many different forms, depending on the person. Everyone has their own concept of what caring for something means, and thus they act upon it accordingly. Perhaps this is a side product of my years growing up feeling secluded and isolated and all my years serving in the military, but I told Ooyodo that one of my own personal definitions of care and love was knowing when it's time to let go of whatever it is that I care for or love. Love and care aren't meant to be easy - cue all the songs in the world that've been made serenading the fact that love is painful, etc etc. Unfortunately for Ooyodo's wishes, my love for this Platoon didn't mean clinging onto the girls for as long as possible but instead to do everything I could to leave behind a memorable legacy for them to look back on and reminisce on fondly as the best four months of their lives. Maybe I'm exaggerating that a little, but the point is that I'm not going to sit here and grovel and beg for some arbitrary power to come down and change my life. As a man and as a decent human being, I have recognized that it's time to say goodbye, for now or forever.

In addition, unfortunately for Ooyodo, that stereotype about Americans being all gung-ho about freedom, 'Muricah, and the hoo-rah can-do attitude didn't apply to me. Have I mentioned this before? This sounds like something I'd already written about. But regardless, I told Ooyodo that there were in fact plenty of Americans who have the sense and reason to see things in a realistic setting instead of yoloing everything thinking they can be some movie-esque hero American who can fix all the world's problems and bomb a few Iraqi villages in the process, and that I liked to think that I was one of them. And as I saw it, I have the next five days to spend with the girls before I had to leave, and I was going to make the most out of it. I knew that I would have to break a few hearts in the process, but this was the most honest route I could take, even if it's the most painful.

That, and speaking as her direct superior this time, I told Ooyodo that as a high-ranking naval commander, I did not tolerate racial remarks like the one she just made about me. Slander, stereotypes, whatever - they were all the same to me. That got Ooyodo scared real bad, because she realized she'd mouthed off at me without realizing, since she's so used to me being so friendly and casual with her and everyone else. But I dropped the act and told Ooyodo that I was sorry if she didn't agree with my views, but that's the way things were going to be.

Ooyodo escaped from my office right after that, when I sat back down to finish the rest of my report. I suppose there could've been a better way to go about that, as I don't know what Ooyodo is thinking now. But whichever the case, I just have to hope that she comes to an understanding or at least comes to terms with the situation. It's not like I'm trying to overdramatize our situation, I'm just trying to say it how it is. Truth hurts, and as much as I don't want to let it hurt my ship girls, sometimes it's gotta be done. I mean...if someone like Samidare can accept it, why can't Ooyodo? I suppose I'll still have to go track her down sometime and talk to her just to make sure. I know she's got feelings for me too, so it could be easier talking to her and getting her to understand later.

Right after I was done with my report and sent it, my starter destroyers launched an assault on my office and took me hostage, and they demanded a ransom of head pats and rubs all around, which I had no choice but to oblige. We dogpiled on my couch and it was nothing but straight head pat torture for about two hours. In the middle of it, Yuudachi and Shigure investigated the situation and hopped in, and so did Suzuya, Atago, Kiyoshimo, and Harusame. My hands hurt, a lot.