Chapter 6: They say the police is really scary, but in reality they´re just a bunch of gorillas, idiots and taxthieves

"One set of omurice and pudding please~!*"

As he got the curry rice stuffed inside an omelette pocket, he couldn't have been happier. They had even bothered to make the typical ketchup waves that made it look even more delicious. Wow! His eyes started to glow like those of a little child. This was the best!

"Here's your strawberry milkshake as well, Sakata-san."

Blushing like a high school girl, he chuckled and took it from the man wearing the apron. His voice was pretty high-pitched. "Thanks a bunch!"

"Danna?"

As Gintoki turned around, he encountered a familiar, yet very confused face. In front of him stood a man in uniform with shoulder long black hair and dull dark eyes. The silver-haired man's teeth flashed in a smile and he was in a pretty good mood. "Oh! It's what's-his-face!"

"IT'S YAMAZAKI! YAMAZAKI, DAMN IT! JUST HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!"

But Gin just laughed it off and closed his eyes. "Ah, yes. Sorry, sorry! What a nice surprise to see you here!"

"What a nice surprise?! I'm working here, damnit! You're in the Shinsengumi cafeteria for God's sake! Of course you'd meet me here! The question is: what are you doing here?!"

His teeth flashed again and now he seemed pretty cocky as well. "Nuffing, just visiting."

The Shinsengumi spy really didn't know how to respond to that. Both men were standing at the end of the line at the Shinsengumi cafeteria's food counter. The canteen was pretty bustling, it was lunchtime after all. Yamazaki was holding a tablet with curry rice on it. He had just finished his order and got his plate. Seemed like he had been in line just in front of Gintoki, but that sorry bastard had ignored him either way. He at least could have said hello. Sulking, the man in the uniform howled at the samurai in the white yukata.

"You can't get food here! You're not even working here!"

"'Course I can!" Gin spat back. "If I pay taxes for your sorry asses, I have the right to eat at your place, too! You're leeching off on good-hearted citizens anyway!"

"You're not even paying taxes! Besides, why would you want to eat here of all places?"

"Well, it's free food and our fridge was empty, so…"

"You're the leech here!"

"Mah, don't yell at me! You're ruining my appetite." He complained and was picking at his ear, closing one eye.

"Where did you even get that?!" Yamazaki screeched. "We don't serve kid menu's like omurice or pudding! Let alone strawberry milkshake!"

"Sure you do." The man with the red eyes demonstratively pointed at the day's menu. "I mean, it took some time convincing your chefs, but they listened to reason in the end. Who the hell do you think made pancakes Wednesday with parfait a thing?!"

"This is not your personal drive-in, you know?!"

"Gah, leave me alone!" Irritated, the silver-haired man started walking to the tables and sat down.

But the Shinsengumi spy followed and seated himself next to him. He didn't trust him. He was up to something, 100% guaranteed. Still, the child trapped in a man's body just seemed overly blissful about his food. He slurped his milkshake and started cutting the omelette. Honestly, this guy had some nerves! Waltzing in here and changing their menu… And he had been starting to wonder why they had begun to add so many strange things to their meals. Not that he minded… he actually enjoyed that. Still, he wondered how he did that. Vice Chief Hijikata surely didn't allow that.

Speaking of which, Yamazaki suddenly realized, he was probably here for the Vice Commander. The man went silent at that thought. He still hadn't exactly gotten used to the idea of them dating. The thing was, nothing had really changed. So it was easy to forget they had a relationship at all.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. Since that day, the Yorozuya had been at the barracks quite frequently. He was dropping in from time to time, offering strange new ideas for laws or claiming things at the lost-and-found belonged to him when they clearly didn't. Also, he had caught him a couple of times, lounging in the Vice Chief's room reading Jump. After some time, no one really minded anymore and people even started greeting him whenever he was around. Of course, Captain Okita and their Commander always seemed to enjoy his visits, too. So, in just a short amount of time, he seemed to have become a pretty normal guest in these halls.

And all that because the Yorozuya started dating their Vice Chief. Somehow this was still hard to swallow.

"Oh, it's danna!"

Suddenly, a familiar figure slumped down opposite of them. It was none other than their 1st Division Captain and a plate of omurice. The blond man opened his pudding first and started shoving it into his mouth.

"Yo, Okita-kun!" Gintoki grinned. The buddy-like atmosphere between them surprised Yamazaki every time. But maybe sadists always had these kinds of connections, he guessed.

"Whatcha doing here?" Sougo asked casually. "Looking for your boyfriend?"

If that was supposed to tease him, it didn't work. The samurai smirked instead and gave him a thumbs up. "As if! It's omurice and pudding Friday! No way I'd miss that!"

"I still can't believe they actually served you!" The spy complained, but was cut off by his captain the instant later.

"Calm down, Yamazaki. Danna's our guest and he can do whatever he want's in here."

"Thanks, Okita-kun. Try telling that to your Vice Commander as well." Gin grinned.

"I always do, but he just won't listen." Okita sighed dramatically. "Honestly, you should dump him."

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" The silver-haired samurai appeared amused.

"I'm just saying." The young officer returned the grin. "But then again, you're such a cute couple."

"I know, right?" No way Gin would let himself get picked on by this sadist. He was in too good of a mood.

Yamazaki could see in his captain's eyes that he wasn't done, though. The blond man casually ate his meal while keeping on track. He was scheming something, for sure. "So, danna. I´ve been meaning to ask you…"

"Wha'?" he mumbled with his mouth way too full.

A smirk decorated his face. "Was it the drug that brought you two losers together?"

The silver-haired man chuckled deeply, a bit frightening as well. Then, he shrugged and stuffed another piece of omelette between his teeth. "Don't think I forgave you for that. But no, not really I think."

"You sure? I remember you two going into a Love Hotel. Wasn't that when you popped each other's cherries?" he teased.

A chortle and Gin bestowed a dark gaze upon him, warning him in a very friendly manner. "Popping our cherries? Kehehe, no way. Besides, nothing happened back then."

"So, does that mean you two lovers haven't done it yet?"

Gin grinned broader now, snorting. "Tsk, what are you thinking, Okita-kun? Of course we've done it. Plenty of times."

"So…" Okita leered. "Who's bottom and who's top?"

"Well…" Gin had a devilish grin, too. "Topping would be…"

.

A killer kick buried Gintoki's face in his omurice, almost causing the table to break in two. Frightened, Yamazaki jumped to the side and only now realized the blazing deadly aura looming over them. Behind them, a fuming Hijikata Toushirou hovered, spewing fire.

"Don't talk so casually about our sex life, you damn perm! I'll kill you!"

As Okita Sougo was grinning diabolically, Yamazaki knew he had done that on purpose. Surely, he had seen the Vice Commander coming their way. This guy really was a sadistic bastard.

Choking, Gin's face was covered in egg, rice and ketchup. He shrieked at him. "Whaaat? What was that for? Don't be so violent, asshole! AHHH! My precious omurice!"

"What are you even doing here, konnoyaro?! I told you thousands of times you're not welcome here, damn it!"

"You can't tell me what to do! And I only came here because of the food, damn it!" Gin was in a fighting mood, obviously. "And you ruined it! You're gonna pay for this, bastard!"

"Oh, get a life!"

"Maa, maa, Hijikata-san!" Okita chuckled, eying him. "What kind of behavior is that? He's our guest!"

"Shut it, Sougo! This is your fault as well!" The black-haired man growled at him. "He's not allowed here!"

"Oi, oi!" The young man flashed his teeth and dealt another blow. "…Could it be you're so pissed, Hijikata-san, because you're bottom?"

The man gawked at him for a second before he yelled. "That's just none of your business, Sougo!"

"Oh? Did I hit a sore spot?" Chuckling.

The officer's head was red now and he was fuming with anger. Yamazaki feared he would jump over the table next and strangle him. But, strangely enough, it was Gin who calmed him down. With his usual blunt manner and a raspy growl, he yapped at them both.

"God, shut up you two! Hijikata, sit down already! And you!" He glared at the sadist. "Give me half of your dish! This is your fault!"

Okita shrugged and was awfully cooperative. Was it because of danna? Or was he scheming something else? Yamazaki actually didn't know anymore.

Hijikata, though, still hadn't sat down and the spy needed a moment to understand why. Seemed like he was not sure where. He could either sit next to the Yorozuya or next to Okita. And he looked like he did not like any of those choices. For one thing, sitting next to the captain would end in a massacre for sure. But sitting next to his… well boyfriend, didn't seem too appealing to him either. Yamazaki pondered a second before it hit him. His Vice Chief didn't want to be too intimate with him in public. Especially not in front of his sworn archenemy. The Shinsengumi spy gulped and took pity on him. But he wouldn't be the police's gofer if he wouldn't know how to solve that.

So, he showed mercy and waved at his Chief with a smile. "Fukuchyou, you can sit he-"

"I said, sit down already!" Before Yamazaki could even finish his sentence, the silver-haired man had already acted. With an annoyed growl, he had simply grabbed his uniform and forced Hijikata to sit down. His eyes closed, he then shoved the omelette Okita had given him into his mouth. The aura around him said one thing only: no talking back. Yamazaki shivered. Really, this guy was a dangerous opponent.

Hijikata was obviously embarrassed, but he overplayed it with rage and a loud growl. He kept his distance to Gintoki and picked up his chopsticks, cussing. Sougo watched them grinning to himself, devilishly. Yamazaki wasn't even sure anymore if he enjoyed those two together or wanted them to break up. This guy was impossible to read.

While Hijikata was covering his curry with two layers of mayonnaise, he hissed at the man next to him. He was still angry, but seemed to have calmed down a bit. "Why are you here, anyway?"

The silver-haired man pouted, glimpsing at him. "Do I need a reason to see you? I just wanna."

So he was here to see him, after all? Yamazaki tried suppressing a smile. That was actually really sweet.

The Shinsengumi second in command blushed a little and hissed louder. "Liar! What did you do?! Are you hiding from your kids again because you didn't pay their salaries?"

He was sulking for real now. The full package with pursed lips, puffed cheeks and lowered eyelids. "You're so rude! I'll pay them on time this month! I will! And besides, I figured if we're going drinking later, I might as well come to your place sooner."

"We are not going drinking!" The cop grinded his teeth.

"Sure we are!" Gin replied, huffy. "Tonight's the Shinsengumi party at Izaya's place! Even Zura will come!"

Oh heck, how did he get wind of that? "That's a private event and you are not invited!"

"I am, too!" He waved towards Okita, who innocently finished his pudding. "Personal invitation."

And sure as hell, Hijikata got his demon eyes again, his aura freezing. "Sooooooougoooo…"

But the man just smiled and tilted his head. "Oh? By the way, I think I forgot to tell you. Danna is joining us tonight. Aren't you happy about that?"

He sure was….

The party was in a full swing and everyone was having fun.

Well, not everyone.

A certain Vice Chief was sitting between his commander and the Shinsengumi spy, a cigarette in his mouth and a beer in his hand. It did not make him as relaxed as one might suspect. To say he was grumpy was definitely an understatement, but to say he was furious was also not quite fitting. He was pissed off. Still. But at least his devastating aura had been reduced to a silent, contained thunderstorm now. And as long as he was being ignored, he was fine. As long as he didn't stare into Sougo's or the Yorozuya's direction, he was fine. As long as he could feel invisible, he was fine.

Unfortunately, none of these three preconditions were matched.

He couldn't detain from looking at them as well as he wasn't ignored at all. Someone was always talking to him, about him, as him, meaning someone imitating his voice. Mostly Sougo. God, he hated this little shit!

He was mad at him for bringing Gin along. He had done that on purpose. He was waiting for something to happen so he could torture him with it. And where Gintoki went, embarrassment wasn't far. Hijikata had tried his best to keep the Yorozuya out of his affairs. He wasn't allowed in the barracks, he wasn't invited to any meetings, investigations or parties and he wasn't supposed to come in contact with him at all while he was working.

Gintoki had managed to impede every single one of these attempts.

He was constantly pestering him while being on patrol, chatting him up in front of his co-workers, taking naps in his personal room and messing with their system. Everything he touched turned into chaos. And now this.

Frankly, the dark-haired man had been looking forward to this party. It would have been a nice, quiet celebration with some good food and drinks. Just his co-workers and… well Katsura, but that was another story. It all would have been under control. But with Gintoki here, all of this was like Russian roulette. It was just a matter of time before he would ruin everything. Especially when Sougo was the maniac hosting this event. He couldn't bear this super sadist duo.

He just wanted to keep his relationship with Gintoki nice and quiet. That's all he wanted. Was that really too much to ask for?

.

"Vice Chief."

He looked to the side into a plain face. Yamazaki sat next to him and smiled friendly. He was trying his best to keep his second in command happy. In his hand, he held a bowl with senbei snacks. "You want some?"

Snarling, he took some and closed his eyes. Sitting next to the spy made things a bit calmer, but it didn't help that much actually. The room was too small to ignore the others. They had rented a small, Japanese style party room. Completely decorated with fusuma doors, tatami mats, a paper lamp and a big, low table in the middle. All of them were sitting on the ground in big, comfortable cushions as a waitress came by from time to time to take new orders. Their table, however, was already bursting over from the variety of food and drinks they had ordered. Well, not him. Mostly Kondou, Katsura and Gintoki had gone overboard and ordered every last item on the menu.

There weren't too many of them here, this was a private party for the highest ranked members, after all. Kondou sat in the middle and then, counterclockwise, Hijikata, Yamazaki, Sasaki, Elizabeth, Sougo and Gintoki followed, finally Katsura presenting the last piece who sat between their commander and the Yorozuya. Meaning that from Hijikata's right the quiet people sat and from his left onwards the troublemakers were partying. And if he said partying, he meant partying.

Especially the combination Katsura, Gintoki and Kondou was a lethal one. They had been singing not so long ago, some old stupid war songs. Arms curled around their necks, they had missed every single note and swayed their glasses in the non-existent rhythm of the songs. Of course, there had also been a lot of tears. They were overly emotional men, after all. Something weird connected these three men with each other and Hijikata was pretty sure it was idiocy.

From time to time, he couldn't refrain to shoot a look to Gintoki. He didn't particularly mind him, but he wasn't ignoring him either. At some times, whenever he realized he was looking at him, he endowed a smile upon him. In these moments, the cop quickly started looking somewhere else, of course. He couldn't stand his attention right now. He still didn't want him here. Although, he had to admit that he fitted in. Gin was certainly popular and a welcomed guest. Everyone here loved him. He had somehow managed to become best buds with Kondou and Sougo and the rest respected him dearly. He was charming. He had to give him that.

"Nee, Hijikata-dono!"

.

An annoying voice suddenly made him jump. As he turned to the side, he realized that Katsura had switched places with Kondou. The patriot swung his arm around his neck and pressed him against his chest. His typical, stupid laughter was mixed with a strong sour odor coming from his mouth. Alcohol, no doubt.

"Hohohohoho! Hijikata-dono! We haven't had time to talk! How are you?"

He wasn't in the mood to talk with him at all, tried to push him away and looked somewhere else. "I'm fine."

"That's good to hear, hahaha!"

No, he wasn't planning on continuing this conversation. He wasn't planning on asking how he was or if he enjoyed the party or some stupid small talk like that. Instead, he was nipping his beer so he had an excuse not to answer.

"By the way! I wanted to congratulate you on landing Gintoki!"

He almost chocked on his breath. With his cheeks red, he hissed at him. "Wh-what?"

His typical, idiotic grin reappeared on his face and he gave him a thumbs up. "We haven't spoken since you two came out, right? So I haven't had the chance. I just wanted to tell you: I approve of it. You have my blessing!"

Hijikata couldn't help it. His eye twitched. Why the hell was he acting like a mother-in-law now? Was it because they were old friends? Best buds? Or why did he have to suffer through such a humiliating procedure? He gulped and tried a smile. It wasn't very convincing.

"Ah… is that so?"

"Un!" The longhaired man nodded and breathed in dramatically, closing his eyes for an instant. "I mean… yes, I'm a bit disappointed as well. You're not my otp, but… you're perfect for each other in another way, I guess. But I'm not a sore loser. And if Gintoki chose you, I will respect his decision. So, all in all, you two have my full support."

What the fuck was he talking about?

"O… okaay…"

Then, his gaze went even more intense and he came closer. "Forgive me, Hijikata-dono, but I have to ask…" The next moment, his eyes flared up and his voice whispered dramatically. "…which one of you is the man and which one the woman?"

The next second, a gush of beer was snorting out between his lips, directly aiming at Yamazaki, who screamed in a high pitched voice and took flight in panic. He didn't even realize that, kept staring at Katsura instead, eyes torn wide open.

"Wh-What?!"

"You know…" He made a suggestive and very offensive gesture. "…who's doing the deed and who's enjoying the show? Who's the bee and who's the flower? Who's the mountain and who's climbing it? Who's…"

Yeah, he got him alright!

Still, Hijikata was too taken aback to even answer. What the actual fuck?! Why were people so interested in that in the first place?! It was no one's business, for Pete's sake! He felt his head getting so warm, it possibly radiated heat by now. Since when was it appropriate to ask people such intimate questions?!

"W-why… do you… even want to… know?" was he only thing he managed to reply, still trying to cope with this much bullshit.

Katsura wined, solemnly. "Because I need to know! Sakamoto keeps suggesting Gintoki's a bottom, but I can't take that! I bet 50.000 Yen on him being on top, so I need to know! You're so softhearted, Hijikata-dono! Surely you can't resist his charm! You are the receiver, aren't you?"

Honestly, he couldn't take this anymore. This had to be the most humiliating moment in his entire life. Yes, even more humiliating than the time he had kneeled down in front of these joui patriots and had begged for forgiveness because of this cursed sword. He didn't know what to answer and he wasn't even angry anymore. He was just utterly ashamed.

He couldn't deal with this sober. So he took a big swing of his beer and emptied it in one go. If he had known that this was what would follow them coming out, he would have reconsidered his choice.

"Hijikata-dono! Hijikata-dono! Why aren't you answering? Is that a yes? It is, isn't it?! Come on! Just tell me already! Tell meeeeee!"

"So, danna…"

The blond officer leaned back and laid partly on the tatami mats. Propped on his elbow, his face rested in his hand while he was sipping a flat beer. He eyed him with a tiny smile.

The silver-haired man was leaning back as well, looking down to him with slightly flushed cheeks. He wasn't drunk, not even tipsy. But it was pretty warm in this room.

"Hm? What is it, Okita-kun?"

He smiled and held his voice down. Seemed like he wanted a rather private conversation. "You really are his boyfriend now, hm?"

A brazen smile and he looked deep into his eyes. "You really can't stop thinking about it, can you?"

Innocently, he shrugged. "Why, I'm a fan of you both after all. I need some fan service."

A loud, hearty laughter and Gin turned to him, getting into the same position as him. "Are you, hm? That's why you drugged him? And handcuffed us together? Because you're a fan boy?"

"The only reason." he jested. "I'm a big GinxHiji shipper, to be honest."

"Now everything becomes clear." Gintoki joked as well and took a large swing of his beer.

"So, will you tell me who was the one confessing?"

A little unsettled, suspicious even, he eyeballed him. "You really wanna know?"

"Of course. Give me the full story!"

Gin chuckled. "How about you guess?"

Sougo grinned, teasingly. "I guess it was Hijikata-san, with his head flushed and acting like a school girl."

Another honest laugh. "Wow, you really are a GinxHiji shipper, hm? But no, sorry."

"Huh? So you confessed?"

"No." He smirked and was the one teasing him now. "You know… sometimes you don't need words to show another person how you feel."

"Touché." Still, he was sticking to his guns. "How long have you known?"

"What?"

"That you're madly in love with him."

Gin's grin didn't break and he seemed pretty amused. "Wow, somehow I'm the one feeling like a high school girl now. Girl talk about your crushes."

He smiled benignly. "I'm not the one with a crush, danna."

"Clearly."

"You won't answer me?"

"I'm guessing you're still trying to find out about if your little digression into the drug dealer kingdom did the trick?"

"Maybe." A little smirk.

"Fine." And he was reciprocating it. "…I guess, it made things clearer for me, yes. But I also still want to kick your ass for that. That definitely went too far."

Smugly, he took a sip of his beverage. "Why, did something happen in the Love Hotel?"

"No, and if it did, you'd be in hospital by now."

"Whoa, scary." Really, this little sadist couldn't stop smirking. "You still haven't told me who's top and who's bottom between you two."

Gin tilted his head, still smiling, but less genuine now. "You sure love torturing him, hm?"

"Why, I am only curious."

"And why's that, I wonder. Don't tell me you're interested in men as well? Need help confessing? Need some tips and tricks?"

"Not really, I like women better."

"Well, then I can't help you."

Sougo's gaze went deeper and got just a hint more serious. "You wanted to tell me this afternoon. Why not now? He's not gonna hear."

"Doesn't matter." Gin stared back just as serious with a trace of a smile. "He doesn't want you to know, so I'm not telling. 's not like it's your business anyway."

A few seconds, Okita Sougo was silent. They stared at each other in a battle of wills, had been doing so from the beginning. Behind their smiles, both men knew exactly that they had been scrutinizing each other. They were alike, after all. So when the blond officer realized he wouldn't give in, a smile reappeared on his lips and he shrugged.

"What a bummer. I thought you were open about that. You're giving me nothing."

"Hm." Gin smiled, too, but his gaze cut deep. "Say what you want… you're actually looking out for him, aren't you? Making sure I'm serious about him?"

"Hmph." For a second, Sougo's eyes went sharper as well and his lips were curling up just a bit. "…Say what you want… but you truly are in love with him. Ain't that right?"

"Touché." He answered with a broad smile.

.

For a long moment, both men shared a gaze that went deeper than ever before. Still, neither of them was good at keeping it. Sougo was simply the first to break the silence with a mocking chuckle.

"I'm surprised, though, danna. And there I thought you were a sadist and loved being the dominant one."

"What makes you think that ain't the case?"

"Nothing. Just a feeling." He looked away for a moment and then glanced back again. "You wanna get on his good side by defending his honor?"

"'Course!" He winked. "I wanna get some love tonight, after all."

"He's still pretty mad at you for being here, though."

"Nah, don't worry. I can handle him. Besides, you're just as much my friends as you are his. He can't prevent me from drinking with my buddies."

Acknowledging that compliment, Sougo nodded to the other side of the table. "You should keep an eye on him, then. Before he'll leave the party early."

Curious, the man with the silver locks followed his direction and saw Katsura pestering his boyfriend. The head of the latter was looking like a steam engine. Annoyed, Gintoki growled and yapped at him.

"Oi, Zura! Leave him alone! I already told you to let it go!"

Surprised, the patriot stared at him and started shaking his fist. "It's not Zura, it's Katsura!"

"Tsk, honestly." Gintoki rolled his eyes and closed them altogether then.

Sougo just watched him and couldn't suppress a smile. Yeah, he had to admit it. He liked them together.

Some time had passed and a lot of alcohol had flowed. A lot of it into Hijikata's stomach. He was feeling more than tipsy now. He was drunk. Definitely. Though, he was in that kind of phase where he still had control over his thoughts, or at least he thought he had. Nothing was blurring yet, no one had twins and the earth was also pretty stable. He felt more relaxed now, at least not bothered anymore. Katsura had given up in the end and after that, he had kept himself busy with talking to Yamazaki and Sasaki. They were easy to talk to, it was basically just small talk. It helped him to forget what had happened. And so, one might even say he had a pleasant time.

Yamazaki was telling a little story right now and Hijikata tried to listen. He was loosing track easily, though. For some unknown reason, it got harder and harder to concentrate. He was blinking more often now and his head felt heavy. Every sip of his beer seemed to make it better. A convenient illusion indeed. All the more was he flinching when someone slumped down next to him the instant later. He felt someone coming very close, basically cuddling up to him. Of course, there was only one person who would do that.

As he stared into red eyes, he felt an arm curling around his back to his waist, holding him tight. His smile was annoyingly happy.

"Hey you~"

A grunt, of course. But his rage had cooled down and he just looked away. "Urgh, a moron appeared…"

"Hahaha, you're so mean, Hijikata-kun." For some strange reason, the man didn't seem drunk at all. He didn't like that. "And here I thought I'd do you a favor."

"Favor?" He slurred. "Why's that?"

"Well, because you´ve been staring at me from time to time. I though, you might be lonely, so I came over."

"Tsk. Like hell…. You're annoying, go away."

"But we barely spent time with each other today. I was genuinely looking forward drinking with you, you know?"

He just couldn't deal with him. He pissed him off, and yet… his closeness paired with the alcohol made him weak. His heart had an irregular rhythm already and he yearned for him more than he wanted to admit. His cheerful face didn't make it better one bit.

"Shut up…"

Gintoki chuckled and came even closer. His fingers softly dug into his side and stroked over his kimono. It was enough to make the cop shiver and his heart beat faster. Hijikata had to hold his breath and felt the effect of the alcohol kicking in. Damn it…

"Oi!" Suddenly, Sougo cheered from the other side of the table, a cheeky smile glued to his lips. "Come one, show me some love you two! You guys barely interacted tonight. This is boring! Make out or something!"

Embarrassed as always, Hijikata hissed at him, giving a warning glare. He was slurring bad now. "This is not your private peep show, Sougo. You just want to tease us."

"Aww, unfair Hijikata-san. I really want to see some sugar. Not even a kiss?"

"No." he protested, but then, out of nowhere, a pair of lips pressed themselves against his cheeks.

.

Panicky, his eyes widened and he stared at the wrongdoer. "What are you doing, bastard?!"

Gin just snickered. "Aw, come on. Don't be like that."

His head went hot and he couldn't tell anymore if it was because of the shame or because of the anger. "Shut up! Don't touch me! Why are you two always teaming up against me?!"

His blond subordinate laughed, amused. "How cute~! Hijikata-san's such a tsundere."

"He's right." Gin joined in, still holding him tight. "It´s just a kiss, don´t be so shy."

"I'M NOT SHY!"

Suddenly, Kondou was laughing too and appeared behind them. He hugged them both with his large arms and tousled their hair. "Oh, you two! You're so funny!"

As Hijikata's head was jammed against the rough cheek of his commander, he moaned. "Not you too, Kondou-san…"

But said man turned to Gin instead and hugged him sociably. "You guys can do whatever you want! But listen, Yorozuya! Don't go embarrassing Toshi all the time! You have to take care of him properly, you hear me? I won't allow you messing with him!"

Suddenly, Hijikata gulped and was moved by his words. "Kondou-san…"

"Would I ever?!" The samurai laughed amused. "Alright, alright Gorilla! I got it!"

"Right?! So, in return, you're giving Otae and me your blessing? We'll soon be brothers-in-laws, after all. Ne? Neee?"

"Yeah, sure. Call me when you wake up from your pipe dream, will ya?" he replied, deadpan.

And as Kondou started bitching about that, Toushirou started drinking again. His face was dark and omitting a defeated aura. Was there really no one here on his side? No one?

He didn't exactly remember how he got here. When he opened his eyes again, he was leaning against the wall, staring into the room. The clock showed something late, though he wasn't able to make out he exact time, no matter how hard he squinted. The room was a mess, there were empty bottles laying everywhere. Kondou-san was topless for some reason and had a profound talk with Katsura who had a tie wrapped around his head. Where did he even get that? Next to them, Yamazaki was sleeping on the table and Sougo was adorning his face with a few sophisticated drawings with a permanent marker. Elizabeth was ushering Sasaki to drink and the poor boy had no choice but to obey.

Mumbling lowly, Hijikata held his head and closed his eyes. He had a throbbing pain behind his forehead and his throat was dry. Did he pass out? He couldn't remember what happened. He was grateful for the wall in his back because he felt pretty woozy.

"Want something to drink?"

As he looked to the side, he saw a crooked smile and a hand holding a glass of water. Squinting his eyes, he needed a few seconds to understand what was going on. Then, thankful, he took a big swing and emptied the glass in one go. With a moist sound, he exhaled and licked over his lips. The person next to him purloined his glass and put it somewhere safe. He heard his deep voice chuckling.

"Wow, you're wasted."

"Shaddup…" he slurred and squinted anew.

The next second, he felt him coming closer, drawing him into a hug. When he smelled his scent creeping up his nose, he shivered and couldn't deny how good that felt. Suddenly, Gintoki was everywhere, surrounding him from every angle. He felt his arm wrapped around his back, holding him tight, his nose stroking over his forehead and his breath foaming against his lips. It messed with him bad. He gulped and shifted, unsettled. Instinctively, he lifted his head and tried to keep his eyes open to look at him. He could only see his smirk and his red eyes, though.

Next thing he knew, he felt something pressing against his throat. A finger dug itself inside the soft skin under his chin and ushered him closer. Their lips grazed each other for the split of a second. Feeling his breath on his face, Gin's hand moved, cupping his cheek now, running his thumb above his lower lip.

Hijikata's breath rattled and he felt his mind blanking. It was the alcohol for sure. He couldn't help it. Instinctively, he turned towards him and closed his eyes, opened his lips. He couldn't see Gintoki grinning at that, but he could feel him closing the last distance and smashing their lips together. It elicited a soft, suppressed moan from Hijikata and poured oil into the fire. Yearningly, he threw himself into the kiss and leaned into him, grabbing the first thing he got a hold of. Clawing his fingernails into his shirt, he tugged him closer and deepened the kiss.

Mindlessly, Hijikata was blocking out his surroundings and seized the Yorozuya. His tongue hungrily opened his mouth to get what it wanted. His kiss was demanding and desperate. He felt the blood rushing through his veins, gathering inside his lower body and messing up his head. Breathlessly, he wanted more and let his fingers ran through bushy silver locks. In response, Gintoki tightened the grip around him and drew him happily into the kiss. He could feel him moaning softly and he found that so damn sexy.

Yet, way too soon, the silver head ended the kiss and ushered him back. Flustered and yet awfully levelheaded, this bastard chuckled and stroked through his hair. "Slow down, Hijikata-kun… we're in public after all…"

Grunting, he grinded his teeth. He just had to remind him, hadn't he? Though, Hijikata was still pretty smashed and had a hard time keeping his eyes open to see. His arousal didn't make it better. "Lezz… go home then…"

A lewd, amused grin flickered crossed his eyes and he smiled dirtily. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Another snort and he tried to bite him. "…want you…"

A strange sound was making him flinch. It was a klick and it was coming from inside the room. As the intoxicated officer turned around, he was able to make out a camera and a blond head behind it.

"That's it, you two. Just like that."

As Hijikata grunted annoyed, Gin just laughed. "You would make a brilliant paparazzi, wouldn't you?"

Sougo's teeth flashed and he started hitting the record button over and over again. "Come one, show me some love!"

"Alright~!" The brazen samurai chuckled and started posing. "But only if I get some copy's for free!"

"Why you little-"

But the cop couldn't finish his sentence because Gin was all over him the next second. He started placing kisses on his forehead and hugging him like a teddy bear. Much to Sougo's pleasure, obviously.

Hijikata just screeched and began freeing himself by shoving and punching. "Let go, you maniac! "

He didn't. Of course not. Instead, he started doing the victory sign and the rabbit ears for Hijikata. Okita got a whole series of them cuddling, brawling, kissing and finally Gin getting punched in the face. The officer jumped out of the way when Hijikata attempted to get him next. Good thing the guy was so hammered, he couldn't even get up anymore. Cussing, he tried getting to his feet, but failed. And of course, Sougo made a series of memorial photos about that, too. He stopped though, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Gintoki was grinning at him. "That's enough Okita-kun. I'm taking him home now. Don't forget to send me the prints."

"Are you?" He chuckled, pleased. "You're a sly man, danna."

"What?" Innocently, he buckled down to his boyfriend and picked him up. "'s not like I planned this."

"Sure you didn't." The blond man seemed pretty content. He liked him best in his sadistic role. Especially when they could team up teasing Hijikata. "Well then, have fun."

A last grin and a wink, and he was saying goodbye to the others while shouldering a softly grunting but yet very harmless Vice Chief. Sougo couldn't refrain from taking one last picture. He would make a photo collage out of this. With a big heart and their photos in the middle. Well placed in the cafeteria.

"Let me just prepare the futon first."

He didn't let him. With all the strength he had left, he shoved him against the wall and started savaging him. The little walk to this place, wherever he was, had been enough to recover some of his strength. Enough at least to take what he wanted, if necessary by force. This bastard had toyed enough with him tonight. He was going to make him pay.

Pushing him against the wall, grabbing his behind and pressing him into his erection, the Vice Commander was not holding back anymore. His kisses were hard and relentless, demanding and craving. He was still angry with him. For all the jokes he had made on his account and how he had riled him up and also that he seemed to be so much more sober than him. Damn perm!

Said perm wasn't refusing him, but he didn't really seem into it either. He kissed him back, but was rather passive. Unfortunately, Hijikata was too smashed to realize that, so in the end Gintoki had to push him away a little to interrupt the kiss. He chuckled smugly and the cop found that both extraordinarily aggravating and erotic at the same time.

"Wow, you really are going all out, huh? Want my joystick that badly?"

"Shut it…" he slurred and held him tight, dug his fingers into his rear. "'m sick of 'em askin' 'bout our sex life…"

"And so now you need to reassure yourself you're the one stuffing me?" A chuckle, though he wasn't exactly amused.

"…no…" the cop replied unsure and clearly had a hard time collecting his thoughts, let alone words. "…you tell 'em?"

"No." he still smiled while tracing his fingers through black hair. "I mean, I wouldn't mind telling them, but I didn't. Why're you so paranoid about that anyway? You're the one fucking my brains out on a regular basis."

That question was definitely too much for the shit-faced drunk man. He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came.

Gintoki smiled at that and gave him a short, soft kiss. "Yeah, don't worry. I get it. It's no one's business. But, you know… you only make yourself suspicious by acting that way."

A grunt and he tried kissing him back, but ended up hitting his neck. Good enough, he thought and began sucking it, biting him softly. "…u finished now…?"

The silver head bit his lips and felt his pulse rushing through them, pulsating against his throat. "I'm just saying… who's bottom and who's top… really doesn't matter, does it? If you're acting like it's shameful to be on the receiving end, you're making me feel like you're looking down on me."

It took him a few seconds filled with biting and licking and grabbing, until he got what he was saying. He paused for a second and breathed against his throat. "…'m not…"

"Well, I should hope so!" he jested and stroked his hair down to his temple. "…I love it when you're dominant and taking the lead… like right now. You're so damn hot when you're topping me."

Hijikata was too drunk to blush, but he still gulped and felt his heart dance. Clearly confused, he didn't really know how to reply. "…'re… sexy, too..."

Gin had to swallow a chortle and closed his eyes, nudging his face. "…All I'm saying is… don't care too much what people will say. And be a little proud that you're nailing me."

"…I am…" he slurred.

That brought a genuine smile on his lips for the first time. Affectionately, Gintoki pulled his face close to his own and tilted his head down so he could see into Hijikata's half opened eyes. "See? So next time someone asks who're you're dating, you're gonna say you're banging the hottest silver haired man in town."

He grunted lowly and even dead drunk, he somehow managed to get embarrassed. "…'m not gonna say that…"

"Fine then." He chuckled and leaned back against the wall, eying him with a smug smile. "Then, how about you say it now?"

"…what?"

"That you wanna fuck the hottest silver head in town right now, right here." Gintoki was teasing him, Hijikata realized even now, but he didn't mind that much.

Instead, he pinned him against the wall and bit his lip. "…u wan' me to say it?"

"…Yes, please~"

Grabbing his ass with both hands, he whispered in his ear. "…fine… I… wanna fuck you… here n… now…"

Well, close enough. Gintoki was aware he wasn't going to get anything more specific out of him, not in his current state at least. He enjoyed it, though. Seemed like this idiot still hadn't realized they were in his room in the barracks. And that he was about to break his strict no-sex-in-the-barracks-rule. That aroused the silver head even more and gave him a real kick for some reason. Happily, he raised his arms and cupped Hijikata's cheeks with both hands. With a last cheeky comment, he pulled him closer into a passionate kiss.

"There you go~."

.

It only lasted a few moments, though. He couldn't help it. He just had to laugh.

Chortling loudly, barely being able to suppress a gleeful grin, Gin wrested his head from the cop's fiery but ultimately sloppy attempt to seduce him. What had been intended as a fierce making-out, had turned out to be a messy kissing, unsexy grunting and a groping that had made him ticklish. Hijikata's drunken state had turned out to be a mayor turn-off. Not. Sexy. At. All.

As the dark haired man stared at him in confusion, Gin giggled. "Stop that! I feel like I'm being licked by a dog! Ugh!"

"…what…"

"Honestly now… how am I supposed to get in the mood like this? That's simply impossible!" he jested.

The cop couldn't follow him, seemed confused and also a bit angry. "…huh?"

A doting smile glued to his lips, Gin gave him a short kiss and stroked through his hair. "Come on, let's go to bed. It's late and I'm tired."

All Hijikata understood was "bed", so he doubtlessly didn't get his intention at all. "…okay…" he replied in a hushed, throaty voice.

Chuckling, Gin tipped against his nose and started moving. He prepared their futons and changed clothes, helped Hijikata doing the same. Every time the cop wanted to kiss him again, he just shoved him away gently and eventually pushed him down onto his futon. Seeing the man struggling to pull him down into a kiss, was an extra treat. He was so boozed. He gave him two minutes maximum before he would doze off. Enjoying the view, Gintoki cuddled up to him and made himself comfortable on his chest, letting his fingers run through his hair while watching him. The drunk idiot slurred his name and tried touching him, but wound up slamming his hand into his cheek. Carefully, Gin took said hand and intertwined their fingers.

"Lay still already. It's sleepy time."

As he whispered his name longingly once more, Gin really couldn't suppress a blissful smile. His heart was nearly bursting from all the love he found there.

Such a cutie pie.

Annotations:

*Omurice (a mixture of omelette and rice) is very typical Japanese omelette filled with rice and is generally considered a children's dish in Japan. Look up some pictures! :)