Warning: Pro Bensidy rant up ahead...

I feel that Cassidy gets the shaft quite a bit on FF. So many people trash him because they feel he's shady and a jackass (which he came off as at times), but they're all for Liv riding off into the sunset with Elliot, who tried to sabotage her relationships and permanently abandoned her without so much as a backwards glance. LOL. WTF?

And for those who claim that Bensidy lacked chemistry, I challenge you to rewatch "Rhodium Nights" and "Lost Reputation," and if you still feel the same way afterwards, check your pulse because the sexual tension between those two in both of these episodes is thick enough to spread on toast.

Even though Bensidy has fizzled out, deep down, I feel Brian really cared about and loved (still loves?) Olivia. I hope this final chapter does them both justice in a way that the writers never did. Rant over.

Honey now if I'm honest, I still don't know what love is.

-David Gray, "The Other Side"

This was not love.

At forty-five, Olivia Benson wasn't sure what love was, but she didn't believe it was in the cards for her. She thought she loved her former partner at one point, but her painfully unrequited feelings shoved her back into the familiar choke hold of reality.

No, fooling around with Cassidy had little to do with stirrings of the heart. This was carnal. Nothing more. A way for her to silence her screaming hormones.

These were the lies that she told herself.

Their reunion wasn't a stroll down memory lane. A moment frozen in time peppered with tequila-soaked kisses and young bodies slamming together during a frenzied fuck.

No, this wasn't just primal lust. But it wasn't love, either. It was something else altogether.

He pulled her earlobe into his mouth, grazing his teeth against the skin. He made his way back towards her mouth, dragging his chin down her face. His stubble scraped against her skin and sent shivers branching throughout her body. She closed her eyes.

"Bri..."

She felt his hand circle around her left breast and felt his lips on her shoulder. It wasn't long before he began sucking and nipping at her neck and along her collarbone. He squeezed her hardened nipple, and she whimpered and shuddered at the sensations.

She opened her eyes and saw him hovering over her with a sneer. She knew he was getting off even more because he saw how his touch still drove her crazy after more than a decade. She hated him in that moment for exposing the chink in her armor.

Suddenly, her subconscious unearthed a memory of her own. One that took advantage of his compromising position. She reached into his unzipped pants and pulled back the elastic on his briefs. She ran her nails gently down his dick from the base to the tip. He froze. His breath caught in his throat, and his eyes snapped shut.

"Fuck, Liv," he said on the verge of stuttering.

A cocky smile draped across her lips.

Two can play that game.

Cassidy's shady UC persona made her feel as if she was crossing a line. Like a cop who fucked a perp an hour after she interrogated him. She's never fantasized about screwing a suspect before, but there was something about him in that interrogation room that left her hot and all types of bothered. That cocksure smirk. The grit in his voice. The cigarette-infused leather jacket with the flipped up collar. She wanted to rip off his clothes and straddle him right there on the table.

Grind him hard.

Show him who was boss.

She remembered how wet she was that day. She almost came—with her partner standing less than three feet from her.

Brian made her feel wanted. Always had—even when she carelessly tossed him aside like yesterday's trash. That was the difference between him and David. Brian didn't allow career politics to navigate his heart. He put his feelings first, while she kept hers under lock and key.

She began kneading him, working him over with measured strokes before launching into a frenzied pace. He gripped the sheets, barely restraining himself from shredding them into cotton ribbons.

Jesus! My dick feels like it's sandwiched between two hand-shaped rockets.

He caught her wrist on a down stroke, "I won't be able to last much longer at this pace."

"You didn't have a problem keeping up with me the last time."

"That's because I was too tanked to give a shit about my performance, but my priorities have changed since then."

"Really?" she said and raised her eyebrow; her lips curled into a sly smile. "How so, Officer?"

He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her down onto the bed. He cradled one side of her neck and began kissing the other side, his tongue darting out to taste her. Olivia was so engrossed that she didn't notice his hand sliding down the right side of her body until he slipped a finger inside her. Her eyes exploded open as he expertly maneuvered the bundle of nerves. He tilted her head towards him and covered her mouth with his, stifling the moan building in her throat.

He pushed his fingers in deeper and curled his fingertips around her G-spot and she let out an involuntary scream. She felt him smile against her lips as he made his way down her body, fingers still inside her, pausing to claim each breast in his mouth before positioning himself between her legs.

He continued pleasuring her with his right hand. He lifted her leg with his left hand and began to kiss the inside of her ankle all the way up to her thigh, nibbling and sucking on her skin whenever possible.

She raked her fingernails through his scalp and writhed under him. He inched closer to her center and dipped his head towards her center, when she gripped both sides of his head with her hands. He looked up confused, but she just smiled and shook her head.

"I need you inside of me. Now."

Before she could blink, he pulled his fingers out of her and slid inside her. She gasped at his girth; he was only half way in, yet he bumped against every inch of her walls. He started to move.

"Wait!"

She needed a few moments to stretch around him and to regain her composure. She was on the verge of cumming—and he hadn't even started a rhythm yet.

Get a grip, Benson. The last thing Brian Cassidy needs is another reason to be cocky.

She exhaled a long breath and adjusted her position and gave him her consent with a simple nod. He started a slow rhythm, pulling out and thrusting gently, but deeply, back in.

"I love the way you feel around me," he whispered against her ear and grazed his teeth against her earlobe. His hot breath threatened to thaw her cool. He placed his hands under her ass and drilled into her.

"Harder," spilled from her lips, and she wrapped one hand around his neck to bring his face down to hers; her eyes were wild with lust, forehead slick with sweat. Her lips parted, and he waited for another command, when she suddenly used her weight to roll over and straddle him. A sly smile tickled the corners of her mouth. She began riding him, lifting her hips up and squeezing him with her muscles before slamming down on him. He let out a guttural moan, and her smile widened.

"You think you've won, don't you?" he said, in between pants.

She answered him with a smirk, and rode him like a professional cowgirl. She placed her palms on his chest and arched her back in ecstasy, her body perfectly coiled into the shape of an 'S.' She leaned over him without breaking rhythm, grabbed his face with both hands and drove her tongue into his mouth.

"I don't tame easily. You of all people should know that," she said and thrust his head into her chest.

He grabbed both of her tits and mashed them together with his hands. He tongue kissed her nipples and drew circles around them before he greedily sucked on them. She closed her eyes and moaned.

He grabbed her hips and held them still and began pumping underneath her at a fevered pace.

"What the? Shiiiit! Goddamn motherfuck!"

He had her right where he wanted her; she couldn't even curse coherently. He flipped her on her back and pounded into her. He felt her walls clenching around him and teetered on the edge. She leaned forward and bit down on his shoulder as their orgasms ripped through them. They collapsed into each other and fell asleep.

She awoke to the feel of cool fingertips on her skin. She turned slightly to face him. He was silent as his calloused hands reverently skimmed the edges of her hips and slid down her legs. He paused at regular intervals to take in every inch of her, searing her skin into his memory.

"Round Two already? I guess you didn't think it was as amazing as I did."

But she knew this wasn't foreplay. This was more than just idle physical worship—she understood the meaning beneath these touches. She felt his panic in each caress, heard his muffled cry within each stroke. She laid her palm over his and felt how the tension rippled through his hand.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said.

He gave her faint smile and spun around, but not before she caught his mournful gaze.

"Are you going to face me or will I have to kiss the back of your neck from now on?" she said with a throaty chuckle. He remained eerily still and silent.

"Bri, look at me."

His neck burned from the heat of her stare, but he refused to obey. She expelled a shaky sigh and surrendered the last remnants of her pride.

"Please," she whispered.

"Never thought I'd ever hear that word from your lips," he said, his back still facing her. The world must be coming to an end. I'd better squeeze in a final confession with Father Kelly this week."

He slowly turned and came face-to-face with an Olivia Benson he had never met before. Her eyes were wet, white-knuckled hands twisted the bed sheets into knots. He drew in a sharp breath at the sight of her. He thought she was never more beautiful than in this moment, with no walls to protect her and raw vulnerability coursing through her soul.

"God, you must think I'm the biggest asshole right now. I'm sorry."

She locked eyes with him and stood, but said nothing, one hand draping the sheet around her. She let the sheet fall away, reached backwards and lifted his shirt off the nightstand, never breaking eye contact. She brought the collar to her nose and deeply inhaled it before she slipped it on and stood up—causing the hem to sway with her hips.

"Mmmm. Smells like you."

"I hope that's good thing."

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She rested her chin against his chest and looked up at him as her breasts brushed against him.

"It's a very good thing," she purred.

"Hmm. You may change your mind if your nose dips into the arm pit region," he said and planted a peck on her lips.

She cocked her head to the side to drink him in. He looked so content, and she was glad that she was the cause for his happiness.

"Remember last week when you asked me why I wanted to try again after all this time?"

"Technically a relationship has to exist in order for you to end it and start it back up again."

"Bri—"

"That was a joke, Liv," he said and sighed. "I don't have any resentment towards you. Not anymore. We're good."

"It's OK. Even though you weren't exactly subtle about how you felt, I forgive you."

His smile instantly froze, and his eyes hardened as he laughed aloud in disbelief.

"I wasn't apologizing."

Shit. So much for being positive.

"Here we go," she mumbled under her breath.

He bristled at her comment, apparently her voice wasn't as quiet out loud as it was inside her head. "You're damn right, here we go. You know what?" he said and slammed his hand against the dresser. "Let's have it out right here. Right now. Let's open up the closet and shake those skeletons loose!"

Her nostrils flared, and her cheeks were hot. But she wasn't going to match his fury because she knew his anger had nothing to do with their spat. It was his demons of insecurity back from the past to rear their sinister heads.

"I know that you messed around with Haden."

"Let me explain—"

"Were you going to tell me ?"

"I don't know. I didn't see the point. I'm a grown woman allowed to date whomever I choose. Besides, we ended our relationship months ago."

"So that's a no."

"That's not—"

"So who broke up with who? Wait, lemme guess, he dumped you, right? I bet the first whiff he got that his job was on the line he didn't hesitate to put himself first, did he?"

"We had to end things because both of our careers were at stake. We did it to protect ourselves."

"Keep telling yourself that. I've been watching Haden undercover for years—that dude's only out for self. But you already knew that. And I bet if he wasn't such a coward, you would've found a way to make it work, despite the circumstances. Because he's worth it."

Her eyebrows knitted together and rose in shock, and her mouth hung open at his confession. "And you're not?"

"No, Liv. I'm not. He may be a self-righteous prick, but at the end of the day I'm the douche on the payroll of one of the biggest dirtbags in the city. For fucks sake, Ganzel kept Carissa as his bottom bitch even after he put a ring on her finger. What kind of man pimps out his fiancé?"

"Cass, you're too hard on yourself. You didn't take this job because you're a goon who gets off working for criminals. You were undercover, doing your job for the greater good, remember?"

"And what do I have to show for my three-year stint as his errand boy, hmm? A chest full of bullet scars. At least Haden doesn't have to hide what he does for a living. Me? I'm a washed up detective who occasionally banged hookers on the clock."

He smiled, but when she looked into his eyes, his shame reflected back. Her heart ached for him.

"I'm one bad progress report away from becoming a mall rent-a-cop. You didn't want me 13 years ago, and I wasn't half the fuck up I am today. Why would you want me now?"

"Because you're a good man. And a good cop. I meant what I told you in the hospital. I'm not the same person I was when you first met me. This time will be different between us."

How do you know that? Don't make promises you can't—"

"Because this time I know exactly what's at stake. And I won't gamble away my…our second chance."

She peered into his face and watched as the weight of her words resonated within him. The surprise in his eyes was too bright to hide and ever so slowly, his lips melted into a grin that stretched from ear to ear. She couldn't help but to beam back at him.

"I still can't believe you hooked up with Haden. The thought of you and him in bed together makes me wanna puke."

"Thank you for ruining the moment."

"Sorry. I couldn't help myself."

"Try harder next time. You know, the thought of your penis inside of a woman who fucked at least a half dozen different guys every week doesn't exactly fill my heart with joy, either. But here we are."

"You're right, Liv. Here we are." He smiled once more, and his eyes danced with hope. "And there's no other place I'd rather be."

She didn't know what next week and beyond would bring for the two of them. Her mind could barely see beyond the edges of today. But she felt an excitement within that uncertainty. She was starting to appreciate change and the feeling of new possibilities. For the first time in her life, the idea of a routine wasn't comforting.

No, what she and Cassidy had wasn't love. Not yet. But they were going to have a lot of fun getting there.

FIN.

A/N: That's a wrap, folks. Feel free to leave a review if the spirit moves ya—the more detailed the better.