"A Little Trouble in Big China"

By Barney Brazil

++Hey DB!

**ML!

++Rmbr Ring?

**Uh Huh!

++Got Mask?

**U Bet!

++Gr8

**y?

++DiD Brng it with U?

**OK

++CU 2mro

**Bye G2G.

Mei Ling put down her cell phone used to send text messages. She desperately wanted to send a hint, any clue, that would prevent the awful event from happening tomorrow. She even managed to type in DiD, known by bondage enthusiasts as Damsel-in-Distress, instead of a simple Did or did. But would the redhead know that? Daphne had seen her bound and gagged, courtesy of Wu and her fellow acrobats. She seemed so self-confident and assured. Maybe the American woman would know martial arts, and rescue her.

But it was too late for the black-haired beauty. Once again, she was the prisoner of someone else, this time a white robed character with eyes poking out of a dark hood. He and his gray-clad evil Chinese zombies had overpowered her after a wushu lesson, piling her into the back of a van, covering her mouth and nose with a sweet-smelling cloth which had fumes that had knocked her unconscious. Already, the minions were pulling her arms behind her back, preparing a set of knots that would immobilize her.

"I got her to come," Mei Ling protested as the white robed devil approached with the familiar cloth. "Please let me go…or at least sit here and read peaceful-ARMMPH!"

Zen Tuo, having lost patience with his captive's pleas, affixed the gag to her face, with the top clearly covering her nose as well as mouth and chin. Unable to shake it loose or plead with her kidnapper, Mei Ling pleaded with her eyes for release, to no avail. Worse than her own predicament was the knowledge Daphne Blake was walking into a trap, and wouldn't know until perhaps it was too late.

It wouldn't be a trip to China without buying a cheongsam, Daphne thought, as she selected a lilac-colored item with dark purple collar and matching trim, designed to make Fred's eyes bulge…and maybe those of every man in Hong Kong, she thought to herself. Better be fair to the boys, she thought as she slipped on a pair of pink tights that made the outfit say "flirt" and "nothing more." The store clerk didn't bat an eye at her use of the Visa credit card, as if he expected.

Mission number one, outfit, completed, she thought. It was on to her second mission, locating her friend Mei Ling.

As she approached the warehouse address her Chinese friend provided, Daphne began to wonder. Why did she recommend this place? Why not meet at some tea shop where we could have Chamomile and catch up on old times, or plot new adventures in shopping? At this time, she began to wonder if a set-up wasn't going on. Mei Ling was a true friend, but someone could have gotten to her. And why bring the mask, when she could have seen it online? Daphne had her guard up. She wouldn't be taken by surprise.

As the door creaked open, Daphne saw a seated figure at a table. Thanks to the darkness, she couldn't quite make out the figure. But a step or two closer, she could see it was Mei Ling, or at least her form. But she wasn't moving much from her seat, perhaps because she was tied to it. An unintelligible, muffled gasp confirmed Daphne's worst fears. Her friend was tied to the chair and silenced with a gag.

At that moment, a claw snatched her left arm from behind, pulling it behind her back. The other hand was cupped over her nose and mouth, stifling any potential scream. "Now my dear, you shall join your friend in our possession…"

At that moment, the air left the attacker's chest, courtesy of Daphne's sharp right elbow to his ribs. His left hand clutched at his chest and he dropped his handgag of the reporter. But she didn't stand still, dropping to her knees, extending her long leg, and swung it behind his, causing him to fall back and strike his head on the hard floor, knocking him cold.

Daphne knelt over her unconscious attacker. It was an evil Chinese zombie, or at least some kidnapper under that white mask and dark gray robes. But a sudden noise wouldn't give her much time to investigate, as a second attacker sought to ambush her from behind. But her flexible dress allowed for a hooked leg kick that caught her aggressor with a foot to the solar plexus, leaving him on his hands and knees, gasping in pain.

But she would not have time to savor her victories, as another man jumped her from behind, pinning and arm while covering her mouth. But he would regret that, as his hasty attempt at abduction left him vulnerable to be thrown over her head, jaw hitting the ground with a sound loud enough to indicate a KO, or at least a TKO, she thought, remembering what Fred told her of those boxing terms. For the final evil Chinese zombie, the flat of the bottom of her hand connecting with the chin just below the mask left four unconscious attackers sprawled out on the floor.

Daphne confidently strode to her friend, still tied at the wrists and ankles. But Mei Ling's eyes showed no sign of relief. Instead, they seemed even wider with panic, as she shrieked repeatedly into her gag.

"Calm down Mei Ling," Daphne said reassuringly. "I'll have you loose in no time."

Then the reporter caught sight of the white-hooded figure, whose robes had gold trim. A pair of eyes looked out from a dark mask, obscuring his face. Mei Ling exchanged worried glances with him and Daphne.

"Don't worry Mei Ling…that's Zen Tuo," Daphne stated. "We've tangled before. In fact, I owe him one." She calmly set the golden mask she brought in the Chinese girl's lap, then strode toward the leader of the zombies, prepared to exact some payback for an earlier abduction.

Zen Tuo stepped back toward a door, opened it, then pushed a button before leaving the room. A hissing sound filled the dark room, and a thick smoke enveloped her. Sleeping gas, she thought, then stumbled toward her friend, undoing the knots on her ankles. But it was too much, as she laid down and curled up, like a cat taking a nap. Even Mei Ling's whimpers and Zen Tuo's footsteps seemed very far away….

When she came too, it was in a predictable fashion…wrists bound behind. gagged, as usual. What was unusual was that fact that she had two of them. One was a cloth pulled between her lips. Over that, an over-the-nose gag kept the original obscure and gave her the look of a Western bandit. So she wouldn't have something to say, but if looks could kill, it would be the last of Zen Tuo.

He was wearing the mask…HER MASK…again, seemingly in a perpetual grin as he headed for his helpless captives. He eyed the two of them over, as if pleased with his results. "Mei Ling, you shall make a most lovely bride for the great warlord Zen Tuo!" The Chinese girl looked back helplessly at Daphne, as if searching for answers.

"And Miss Daphne Blake," the Chinese Warlord continued, "you shall remain as a 'guest' in my 'custody' as a hostage, to ensure that you and your meddling friends do not interfere with my plans."

As he bore down on her, the redhead refused to back down. She glared back at him as if unafraid. It caused Zen Tuo to pause. Finally…I've put him in his place, Daphne thought. All it took was a firm….

"Can this be?" Zen Tuo squeaked. "A girl with green eyes?"

Now it was time for those defiant emeralds to blink in wonder. What was Zen Tuo talking about? Why should anyone (but Fred) care what color her eyes were, she thought.

"And a redhead….oh Lo Pan will be so pleased…."

Lo Pan…who the heck is Lo Pan, Daphne wondered. She glanced over her shoulders at Mei Ling and shrugged. To her dismay, Mei Ling shuddered in response, here eyes bulging with fear over her own gag.

But by this time, Zen Tuo was on the phone. "Yes, Lo Pan, a girl with green eyes…well, of course I can see them!...An American….a redhead….so wonderful to tame….

Daphne liked being the center of attention, but not this way. And she had no intention of being tamed by anyone, even Fred! He'd learn his place…

"…what I want in return?" Zen Tuo went on. "The …that ability to have the glowing white come from eyes and mouth…" he chatted excitably. "Of course she'll be helpless. My men will see to that….wedding immediately? I would go, with my own future bride, of course…."

He paused, then spoke to his men, each clutching a head, rib cage, or leg." Have Mei Ling locked in the top cage for safe keeping. As for Miss Blake…see that she's most uncomfortable. I would hate to disappoint Lo Pan and have her escape."

Daphne's eyes blazed angrily as the men descended upon her. But inside, she wondered what her fate would be with the mysterious Lo Pan.

Across the elevated walkway toward the series of cages, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby tentatively made their way through the gloom of the cavernous warehouse. But at least they had it easy. Beneath them, Fred did his best to swing from pipe to pipe, where a single slip could drop oneself at least three stories.

Based upon what they could learn from Velma's ability to hack into Daphne's email, their friend had disappeared. And Mei Ling could be in trouble, which was about the only thing keeping Shaggy going forward. Even Scooby snacks may not have worked on this one, Velma noted, with a hint of apprehension.

Ahead of them near the cages, four women wearing what looked like black pajamas were playing a game of "Go!" on a raised platform, with several cages stacked on top of each other, each holding an occupant appearing to be motionless, either sitting or laying prone. This has the look of a slaver ring, Velma thought to herself. She would have to fight with all her might to avoid joining Daphne, Mei Ling, and the other women.

Below them, Fred swung from pipe to pipe, or platform to platform. Sure it was dangerous work, but the ability to rescue Daphne once again would be worth it.

Suddenly, a sound reverberated throughout the warehouse, which cause everyone's heart to stop. Shaggy around for the source of the gunshot, then down at his feet. To his horror, he saw that he had stepped on a stray piece of bubble wrap lying around from some shipping package, no doubt. It was sure to summon the female guards.

Sure enough, all four women looked up in surprise, grabbed a series of poles and other associated martial arts gear, and ran toward the trio. Luckily, they hadn't spotted Fred below, Velma observed. But unless they evened the odds fairly quickly, they would all become prisoners themselves.

Fred looked above, and exchanged glances with Velma, who motioned him on. He hated to leave a fight, but his partner with the thick glasses motioned him on. It was a rescue mission, and he had the most important job of all. Besides, he didn't have much of a stomach for hitting a girl.

Velma observed a slender woman, who appeared to be the leader of the four, shout out commands. Two ran toward her geeky pal and his dog, while she and the remaining woman, who was rather heavyset, headed for Velma. Despite her girth, the larger woman took the lead, with her commander, holding the large stick, hanging behind, grinning. Gotta think, Velma gritted her teeth. She remembered what she learned when she was a guest in Daphne's classes.

At the last possible second, when big gal was about to tackle her, Velma dropped to all fours, and stuck out her leg. Not only did the big one miss overhead, but was propelled along by her trip over Velma's shoe. The larger woman crashed headfirst into the railing, and did not stir.

Smaller woman snorted in disgust, then swung her stick just as Velma was getting to her feet to plan her defense. The lower sweeping motion caught her behind her knees, leading her to sink to the ground involuntarily. Slender gal pounced. Though seemingly less large than Velma, she had Velma's arms pinned behind her back with a single claw-like hand. The other fumbled for a pair of handcuffs on her belt. It was all over for Velma.

She glanced over to see if the other two were doing any better. To her surprise, they were both wearing chefs hats and aprons. But her dismay was short lived as they held a strange-colored pizza to the faces of the startled female attackers, who were expecting a fight. Both turned an odd shade of olive, then sunk to the ground, as if falling into a deep trance.

"Guys!" Velma shrieked, and they came over. The female commander had just enough time to look up before the odd pizza was inches from her nostrils. She made a brief retching sound, turned green, and fell over.

"What….is…that?!" Velma gasped, though clearly the fumes did not seem to affect her as much.

"Tuna-pepperoni," Shaggy responded, and Scooby seconded it with a series of "r's." They both proceeded to consume the awful concoction. Guess the only reason I'm not out is because I've smelled so many of their foul aromas before, Velma reasoned. "Hey guys, when you get a moment, could you undo these handcuffs?"

Fred reached the cages and climbed to the top. Each one contained a black-haired Chinese girl in her 20s, wearing a simple peasant's dress. Each one had wrists and mouths taped over, muffling their enthusiastic response to Fred's presence. He pressed on, promising himself that he would free them once his friends were rescued. At the top of one contained a woman in a yellow and purple costume, with raven-colored hair, short pigtails, arms behind her back, and a thick white cloth pressed over her nose and mouth.

"Mei Ling!" he whispered.

She nodded enthusiastically, then shimmied herself over with her back to Fred so he could undo the knots on her wrists. When he finished. she pulled her gag down and said "Oh thank you for rescuing me!" in her clipped British accent typical of so many Chinese in Hong Kong.

Fred smiled. "Where's Daphne?"

Mei Ling pointed to a cage across from her. "Over there…she's all trussed up 'cause she's like a wilcat." She began to work on the ropes that kept her ankles snuggly together.

Fred looked over, and his eyes met Daphne. Sure enough, as he scanned her body up and down, she had on that light purple Chinese dress, and tights. Her ankles were pulled back up, and the knots were tied to a rope that reached over to her neck, to keep her from struggling. Her wrists were also bound securely behind her back.

"They did that because she kept breaking loose," Mei Ling responded, having freed her leg bindings.

Fred unlocked her cage and swung over to Daphne's cell to observe her predicament. She looked up at him over the large gag that covered her mouth and nose, and managed a series of "mmphs" at him." Over his shoulder, Mei Ling had climbed down and was stealthily freeing the other girls.

"Wow…they sure bound you up tight," Fred observed, failing to untie the knots that held his girlfriend helpless. More muted commentary followed from Daphne, who seemed both delighted to see Fred and irritated that he had trouble getting her loose.

Meanwhile, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby hand finished cuffing each of their assailants behind their backs with their own handcuffs. "Tear off some strips of cloth from their sleeves," Velma ordered.

"Why?" Shaggy countered.

"So we can make sure they don't shout out a warning when they wake up," Velma shot back. "That will give us more time to escape."

"Good thinking," said Shaggy. He proceeded to follow Velma's instructions, as did Scooby.

Velma moved toward the slender commander of the female guards. "This one's mine," she announced, then tore off both sleeves. One was wadded up and stuffed into the leader's mouth. The other was wound around her head, to keep the wad in place.

As if on cue, the woman began to stir, then look up in shock, growling at Velma through her gag.

"You were going to do the same to me, I bet," Velma said to the captive's face. "Now we're even for you knocking me down with that stick. Velma walked away to handle the larger woman as the bindee shouted a series of oaths into cloth that used to be her sleeves.

Just as Fred finished sawing through the ropes immobilizing Daphne's ankles, Mei Ling frantically tugged on his shoulder. "The Evil Chinese Zombies are here!" she hissed. "We must leave now!"

"But I haven't finished untying Daphne," Fred protested.

"You'll do no good releasing her, only to have those goons catch her and the rest of us," Mei Ling lectured. "Her legs are free, and she can run as fast as the rest of us."

As if on cue, Daphne maneuvered her body up, like a gymnast, to where she was standing, though her legs were still bound and wrists still knotted. "Erts Rho!" she yelled through her gag.

Fred hesitated, then followed his girlfriend as she took off with Mei Ling and the other Chinese girls, eager to escape their prison. Velma caught up with Fred. "What's up with Daphne," she said in shock as the captive continued to sprint with the rest of the women.

"Didn't have time to untie her completely….just get her legs loose and hogtie…"

Shaggy and Scooby joined them, and the gangly boy pointed to four humanoid figures in robes and white masks who were closing in. "Let's get out of here!" he yelled, and the rest of the gang rushed to catch up with the fleeing women.

Lo Pan and Zen Tuo observed from the catwalk near where the fight occurred with the female prison guards. "It seems you have failed to secure my prize," Lo Pan lectured angrily.

Zen Tuo pointed at the women who were escaping to the garage. "She had help," he said with disgust. "And I too lost my future bride."

"Which one is the girl with green eyes," demanded Lo Pan.

"The one in the lead," Zen Tuo pointed to the redhead in the purple cheongsam with pink tights. Incredibly, she ran like a deer, though her arms remained bound up behind her, and the gag still covered her mouth.

Lo Pan clucked like a happy hen. "This is most incredible, Zen Tuo. She is full of fire and spirit. I will do what it takes to possess her."

Zen Tuo glared down at the four female guards, still grunting into their gags. "They have failed me," he said to Lo Pan. "They must be punished."

"Do not let them loose until tomorrow then," Lo Pan laughed, and this was greeted by a series of mews and muffled gasps. "Come," he pulled Zen Tuo away as the Evil Chinese Zombies fell further behind in the chase. "Let us plan how we are to bring the one with green eyes back to us."

Zen Tuo responded "Agreed." Twice he had her in his clutches, only to have her slip through them. He would not fail again. And he would possess the skills of the magic eyes and mouth one day.

Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby all ran on into the garage, where a large truck awaited them. Fred scooped up Daphne and sprang up to the cab door. Once inside, Velma fussed over Daphne's knots in the back and Fred worked to untie the gags behind Daphne's head.

"Thanks Jack!" Fred exclaimed as the women piled into the rig, along with Shaggy and Scooby.

"Fred, is there something you ain't tell me?" he smiled, gesturing over to the bound and gagged redhead. "Looks like you ain't so much tied down to this gal as she is to you."

Fred waved off his comments. "This is Jack Burton." he explained to the three women outside the cab. "We played football together…."

"I've heard all about you!" snipped Daphne, with her nose in the air. "Now that I'm released, be so good as to kiss me!" she demanded of Fred.

"And I've heard all about you!" Jack shot back. "You remind me of a gal named Gracie Law…."

"The Evil Chinese Zombies are here!" Shaggy wailed. "Let's get going!"

"But the garage door is locked!" Velma exclaimed. "Who will be the one to open it?"

"We don't need a garage door opener when you got the 'Pork Chop Express'" Jack hooted. He gunned the engine and the big rig lurched forward, smashing through the structure as though it was kindling. But only he saw it, as everyone else covered their eyes and braced for impact.

"It's all in the reflexes" Burton explained as the vehicle tore through the remainder of the door.

Velma gritted her teeth as she caught sight of Mei Ling and Shaggy making out. It wasn't enough to have to watch Fred and Daphne in a perpetual lip lock, but now this! And she had just been helpless while Velma and the others did the rescuing.

But then she took another look at Jack Burton. Fred's friend oozed rippling muscles and a confidence that women couldn't resist. "Ya know what ol' Jack Burton says?" he was saying, to no one in particularly. "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it." As he glanced at her, she realized that he saw her staring at him. He merely winked, grinned, and gunned the truck into a higher gear. It was a start, she told herself.

Unbeknownst to anyone in the cab, a big hairy beast clung to the back of the truck, where the rig would be hooked up to whatever it was trying to transport. It hissed evilly, waiting for its master Lo Pan to do whatever it commanded.