Tifa was already there with Cloud and Sephiroth that morning when Reno went to clock in.
He was amused how she hung onto their every word and they pretended to vie for her attention but it was no secret to Reno that although they pretended to hate it when writers put them together; they didn't really mind it so much.
Whereas Reno was highly uncomfortable when literally thrust into that role with any of his male colleagues, it made for an awkward conversation afterwards.
"I hope Obsidians isn't writing today" Tifa moaned out loud. "As if I need a man to rescue me! Princess Tifa is so useless a character" she complained.
"I agree, she isn't using the real you to your potential" Cloud agreed.
"Thanks for noticing" she said glowing at his praise.
"I kind of like her" Reno said as he clocked in and went up to the coffee pot. "Why does someone always drink the last cup before I get here? It's the responsibility of the last person to make a fresh pot" he complained.
"You would. She's so namby pamby" Tifa muttered and made the fresh pot out the need to be helpful to humanity...even him.
"Thanks, you're a lifesaver" Reno said as he slouched against the kitchen counter.
"So, what did you two do this weekend?" She asked the other two while ignoring Reno.
"I went to see the new Star Wars movie" Sephiroth said.
"As I did too" Cloud cut in.
"Did you go together?" Reno asked them, crossing his arms over his half-exposed chest.
"Yes, but it wasn't a date" Cloud insisted with a blush.
"Why didn't you ask me..." Tifa asked them.
"Reno and Tifa to wardrobe. Cloud and Sephiroth, you can go home for now. You aren't needed at this time" the announcer paged them.
"Way to waste our day," Cloud complained.
"Let's go for breakfast and then go pick up your paint order" Sephiroth suggested.
"Sounds good" Cloud agreed.
"Paint order?" Tifa asked them.
"We're painting his bedroom tonight" Sephiroth explained.
"Hey I could come over and help. I'll even bring beer" she offered.
"Sorry, I just need one person to help paint my bedroom" Cloud hastily said. "But I can show you the colour we...I picked out" he said taking out his PHS and scrolling through his pictures and showed one to her.
"It's a picture of yourself and Sephiroth. You seem to be taking a bubble bath" she said in a perplexed tone of voice.
"That's a piece of fan art someone texted me" Cloud said blushing as he clutched the phone to himself.
"Come on Cloud we should...let's go" Sephiroth said and the blonde followed him out as their blushes lit their way.
"I like Sir Reno. He's a badass" Reno commented as they approached their dressing rooms.
"He's an ass alright" she said dismissively. "I'll see you soon" she said.
"I wonder what's going to happen today?" he commented.
"Well obviously, Cloud shall have come to his senses and returned to marry my character and you'll be leaving and never show up in the story again as you're only a bit part character" Tifa said as she paused in front of the display of tiaras. "I'm so sick of these things and those gowns have more material then an entire royal wedding party" she complained.
Reno frowned at the "bit part" reference. "Odd, I'm completely comfortable in my armor" he said and left with a chuckle as she fumed.
They met on the set.
"I'll take my reward please, here's your sister safe and sound" Reno said, indicating to the self-foot massaging woman who seemed to be cursing his name. "My parents were married. So, I'm a dastard, not a bastard" he informed her.
"Yes, you will marry the Princess" Rufus said.
"Nope and nope, I'm here only for the reward. She's comely enough but I don't want to be around when her rack decides they want to keep her knees warm, if you catch my drift" Reno crudely said. Causing Tifa to bristle.
"I would sooner marry a warthog" she proclaimed.
"I won't accept a cheque, but you can wire transfer the reward to my account, pay by visa debit or pay pal me the amount. Or I'll take that in gold" Reno offered, taking out his PHS and texting the amount Rufus had mentioned by way of confirmation.
"Yes, that is correct and with this amount you can get a decent horse. But what else? My adopted sister, she's the sole living ruler of Nibelheim and my royal cousin, now adopted to sister. Only herself and Sir Cloud survived. Here is her net worth that I hold for her royal consort and what her dowry is" Rufus said, texting him back when he whipped out his own PHS.
"You can't be serious? All he did was untie me after Cloud was abducted. We need send someone to rescue Cloud" Tifa insisted.
"Seriously? All this for her? Call me a gold digger 'cause I just got me a sugar mama. Well looks like we're getting hitched" Reno cried as he threw an arm around Tifa.
"You can't be serious..." She cried out.
"How soon can we do it?" Reno asked him.
"It's a royal wedding, a week ought to do" Rufus assured him and every single woman in attendance burst into tears and cries of "no" rang out. Even Queen Scarlet was weeping piteously.
"What's that my dear? Are those tears of joy that Tifa shall finally be happily married?" Rufus sarcastically asked her.
"Yes of course darling" she snapped back as she looked imploringly at Reno.
"Oh I'm not marrying this buffoon..." Tifa said.
"Do I get to test drive her?" Reno interrupted her and she went red in the face at the implication.
"Princess Tifa is a virgin as is befitting a woman of her status" Rufus said with a frown.
"I haven't even kissed a boy" she said with as much heat in her voice as her demure nature would allow.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of that...everything" he said with a leer.
"I refuse..." She insisted.
"I do" she numbly said as she stood before the priest wearing a poufy white confection of a dress that barely allowed her to move with its super poufy shoulders, draped waist, corset back and hoop skirt with tons of crinoline beneath. Add to that a twenty-foot train and you had a train wreck waiting to happen.
She had to admit her groom cleaned up rather well and wore a pair of tights with tall boots that displayed his long legs to an advantage. His tunic was a simple white one and the black leather overvest he wore on top had his family crest on it, which appeared to be some kind of rooster that made people giggle when they saw it. She didn't get the joke.
However, she fumed at how when he'd walked down the aisle to her, he'd broke out in laughter at the sight of her and proclaimed she had more layers on then their wedding cake. She hadn't been happy about that in the least!
"You may kiss the bride" the priest said and Tifa gasped as she was suddenly dipped and a mouth descended on hers in a leechlike way. She gasped in outrage and her small fists beat on his broad back and her mouth opened to protest as his hand settled onto her firm bottom and gave it an appreciative squeeze. She gasped as his tongue invaded her mouth and she was blushing to the roots her hair as she heard people clearing their throats in embarassment.
He finally let her up and whooped "okay who wants to be the first person I cheat with?"
"You have to be faithful to her" Rufus coldly said.
"When did I agree to that?" Ren asked him.
"During your vows when you said: forsaking all others; I guess you weren't paying attention. I can introduce you to the royal executioner" Rufus said and the large man smiled pleasantly under his leather hood and finger waved over his axe at Reno.
"Let's get this reception started" Reno said, grabbing the first drink he could and downed it.
"Okay, that's a wrap" the announcer called.
"What the fuck Reno? You didn't have to get so grabby" Tifa complained as she took off her veil and tiara and handed it to the wardrobe girl.
"I got inspired and just went with it" he explained. "I know I can be a perfect ass sometimes" he said.
"Nobody's perfect" she interrupted.
"I'm going to get changed" he said.
They met up accidently when both were wearing normal clothes. "I want to propose a truce. Would you like to go for a drink and talk about lines and suggestions for tomorrow's scene?" He suggested.
Tifa hesitated, she wasn't really interested in bit part actors for the most part, no matter how long their longevity on the series. "What makes tomorrow's scene so special?" She asked him.
"It's the wedding night. I mean you're an innocent virgin in this story. Quite frankly, that will take all the acting skills you possess. I could help you with your..." Reno suggested and Tifa slapped him and stormed away as steam seemed to emit from her ears like a kettle and followed her out of the set.
Reno nursed his throbbing cheek and turned to find Sephiroth and Cloud had witnessed it.
"They called us back as they need to do a dry run of a sex scene for tomorrow" Cloud explained.
"You okay?" Sephiroth asked.
"What did I say to get her so mad? I will never understand chicks" Reno said, storming off in the opposite direction, rubbing his cheek.
"How it is possible that the same people that created our characters created him too?" Cloud asked Sephiroth.
"They claim Hojo's my father but he's as ugly as sin and I'm..." Sephiroth said with a toss of his luxurious mane.
"True, too true" Cloud agreed.