p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"strongA/N: Hello again! This is an update to the song-fic I started approximately 10,000 years ago and have yet to finish. But fear not, it is coming and will be completed as soon as possible. Enjoy some Clexa fluff and a lil bit of angst, but don't worry, its all fine! These two nerds are meant to be, as they should be. So drop me a comment of what you think, I hope to hear from everyone. Thanks for sticking with me!br / ~TGF/strong/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"strongspan style="color: black;"You're Always There For Me/span/strong/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""Clarke, I can't come over tomorrow." Lexa sighed with exasperation, her voice held an edge of annoyance. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Clarke sighed on the other end too, slouching into her couch and finally home from a hard day's work at the hospital. If she had known becoming a doctor was such a hard job when she was a kid she would never had aspired to be one. Her feet ached and her back throbbed, being constantly alert gave her a headache. All she wanted was a bit of time to relax with her girlfriend, but clearly that wasn't happening./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"She was reduced to begging now, "Please? I know you have to study, but you can study at my place. I'll be super quiet and off work until Friday. I just want to see you for a minute. It's been so long."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Lexa rolled her eyes, having made plans to study with a group of friends prior to talking with Clarke. Considering it was finals week of her senior year in college, Lexa was drowning in exams and essays. She had already planned to meet up with a couple of classmates in her Quantum Mechanics class and her brain was a whirl of Greek letters, algebra and calculus equations. She really was not in the mood for Clarke right now. "Babe, I have things to do."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""Why can't you do them here?" Clarke was getting irritated too. It was one thing for Lexa to be busy, but it was another that they hadn't seen each other in days and Lexa had been completely withdrawn for longer than that. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""Clarke, I made plans to study tonight, I can't."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"There was no emI'm sorry /emor apologetic tone to her voice, just a cold, distanced aggravation. "Why are you being like this?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""I have finals I'm stressed. I have to study tonight. I can't come over." Her words were clipped as she said them, unlocking her car as she did. She violently tossed her backpack in the car, and slammed the door before walking around to the drivers side. "I have to go," she mumbled abruptly and without giving Clarke a moment to respond, she hung up./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"It was rude and she knew it, but there were so many things on her mind that she didn't even think about how Clarke was feeling in the moment. Instead of dwelling on it, she turned up her radio and sped off in the direction of the library. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"~ ~ ~/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"With her feelings hurt and heart aching in her chest, Clarke sat dumbfounded in her living room wondering how exactly things had gotten so heated so quickly. Maybe she had been a bit pushy, but it didn't warrant Lexa's horrible attitude. It had been like that for nearly two weeks now, Lexa acting distant and avoiding Clarke at all costs. The blonde didn't really know what her deal was and hadn't had the option to discuss it with her because she was constantly being shut out. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"If anything, Clarke felt like her relationship was in jeopardy. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Instead of allowing herself to dwell, she called Octavia, who called Raven who ended up bringing Anya along. They ended up in Clarke's living room with two bottles of wine and an ungodly amount of Chinese food. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Pleasantly buzzed off the wine and exhausted from her fevered rant about her girlfriend, Clarke was lounging on the couch. She had her head in Raven's lap and her feet in Octavia's while Anya sat at the coffee table grumbling about her idiotic cousin. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"At first she had tried to defend Lexa, saying that she had a hard time with committing to relationships. That being with Clarke for so long was going to start scaring her. But when both Raven and Octavia kept shutting her down and arguing to the point where their voices rose, Clarke had shut all three of them down./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Raven's fingers kept running through her hair, trying to assuage the headache they both knew was throbbing through her skull. Octavia had resorted to using Clarke's legs as a table for her fried rice and Anya was scrolling through a social media app on her phone. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"They rested in silence until Clarke's phone vibrated on the table by the couch. It took a moment for her to process it and when she did, Raven already had it in her hand. "It's Miller."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Gimme," Clarke reached out without opening her eyes and slid the answer key once the phone was within her grasp. "What's up, Miller?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Hey, Griffin, I have a favor to ask you," his voice was cautious and small, as if he fully expected her not to help./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""What's up?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Would you be willing to work my overnight tonight? Brian has an emergency and I need to have the night off."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Clarke sighed, even though she knew she would say yes, it still aggravated her that she didn't have plans for the evening. "Yeah, I'll fill in for you. But you owe me one."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Really? Thanks, Clarke! Anything you want, I promise. I owe you big time," Miller gushed, the smile obvious in his voice. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""What time do I need to fill in?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""I'm supposed to clock in at midnight, I know this is late notice and you worked today. But I really appreciate it, Brian really appreciates it."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""It's no big deal, Miller," Clarke rolled her eyes at Raven who was frowning at her, clearly wanting to know what was going on./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""I'm in the ER tonight and it shouldn't be too bad for a Tuesday," Miller reassured. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Yeah, no big deal."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Thanks, Clarke. I'll talk to you later."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Bye, Miller." Clarke hung up the phone and groaned loudly. Her body ached from being on shift for nearly twenty four hours and now she had signed up for a twelve hour overnight shift. It wasn't that she didn't want to help out Nathan, she was just irritated with the fact that she emcould/em fill in for him. If Lexa had just wanted to spend time with her she would have most definitely said no./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""What' was that about?" Anya asked, glancing up from her cellphone. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Miller wants me to fill in for him tonight."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Octavia coughed, "You said yes?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""What else should I have said? No? I don't have anything to do tonight."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""You could hang out with us," Raven smacked her stomach lightly, "It's been awhile since we've gotten a chance to hang out with you."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""I know, but hey, we got a couple of good hours in, right? Next time, I'll make sure Miller fills in for me and we can all go out for drinks or something," Clarke turned her head to smirk at Anya, "Even you."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Anya narrowed her eyes at Clarke, "As if I even like spending time with you, blondie."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Clarke chuckled and sat up. "I should probably go to sleep and try to get rid of the alcohol in my system."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""So you're going to kick us out? That's not fair!" Octavia exclaimed, bringing her Chinese food to her chest protectively. "I'm still eating!"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""You're always eating, Octavia." Anya pointed out./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""You guys can hang around, you just have to be quiet," Clarke shrugged./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"In the end, Raven and Anya opted to leave, saying something about meeting up with Anya's mom for drinks. Octavia stayed because Lincoln was busy with his friends, helping them move out of their old house. She turned the television on, wished Clarke a goodnight and settled in for the evening. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"It wasn't odd for Clarke's friends to use her house as a place to crash because she trusted them completely with her things. At one point, she and Raven had been roommates and Octavia had practically lived with them for a year when she was trying to figure out her life. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"~ ~ ~/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Clarke slept for a bit over four hours, finding it difficult to sleep without knowing how she and Lexa were doing. It had been radio silence since the phone call earlier in the day and not knowing what her girlfriend was up to or if she was okay, really hurt her. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"When she woke up, there wasn't a message and even though she wanted to at least try to make a connection, it was Lexa who had started this and it would be Lexa who communicated with her in the end. So she turned off her phone and headed to work. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"After changing into her scrubs in the locker room and slipping on her lab coat and stethoscope, she found her station in the ER. She hooked her pager to her hip and found charts for some of the patients who had already come through. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Maia was seated at the receptionist desk in the ER lobby and Clarke greeted her once she strolled over. "Hey, Maia."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""Dr. Griffin," Maia smiled, stopping her system filing on the computer. "I thought it was supposed to be Dr. Miller tonight."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""He had a family emergency and asked me to cover for him," Clarke shrugged, straightening her coat. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Maia wrinkled her nose, "I'm sorry, but I'm glad you're here."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Who's the other on call tonight?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, Dr. Monroe."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThey chatted together for a few more minutes until Clarke was drawn away by her pager. The night was slow, considering it was a weeknight in the middle of winter, there was very little likelihood of anyone being out. She responded to a few concussions and several drunken accidents by college students, but there were no serious life-threatening emergencies. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe had just settled into the mess room with a blanket and her eyes were drifting closed when her pager went off. The code on the screen sent her heart pounding and adrenaline pumping quickly in her veins./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke stood and rushed down to the ER. It was abuzz with nurses and EMTs rushing around and shouting at each other. From what she could catch, a college student had crashed on her way out of the school grounds. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanBlue eyes caught on to a mop of curly hair, Bellamy, rushing through the emergency room door with a gurney being pushed right behind him by a couple of his crew. Clarke walked right to him and when his eyes caught hers, she could see the near panic in his. He tried to mask it, she knew and when he rushed to her and grabbed a hold of her arms she knew something was wrong. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Clarke, stay back, you can't—"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I can't what, Bellamy? This is my ER and I'm here to help, now move."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Clarke, you don't want—" He tried to block her view as the gurney was rolled further past her. Clarke caught a glimpse of dark hair and then a face, a face swollen and covered in blood, but one that she knew better than her own. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Lexa./em /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHer heart seemed to stop and time seemed to slow to a crawl as her girlfriend was rolled, unconscious and bleeding right past her. The moment Lexa was gone, time sped up and Clarke was left reeling. Her breathing came in gasps and she clung to Bellamy for support, her legs felt weak and her body was going to collapse. She registered Bellamy's shout for help before her vision went black. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"~span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span~span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span~br / span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke was pacing like a caged animal, back and forth in a private examination room. Bellamy had insisted after she woke up that Dr. Monroe came to see her, but it had been nearly thirty minutes. Clarke was almost certain they had left her there so she couldn't get to Lexa. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe'd passed out, yes, but Bellamy had caught her in time that there was no concussion. There was no underlying medical reason for her loss of consciousness besides pure shock and fear, Clarke was certain of that. But Lexa, Lexa was injured, and Clarke had no way of knowing if she was alright. What were the extents of her injuries? Was she in surgery? Was there something wrong internally or was it all external? em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Was Lexa dead?/em/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThat was the one question Clarke feared the answer to, the rest she could fix with her hands. Death? Death, she couldn't fight. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanTheir fight kept replaying in her head. Could those really be the last words they spoke to each other? She needed to make this right as soon as possible, but she needed to see Lexa first. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe doorknob turned and Clarke stopped in her tracks, turning to the door immediately. It was Monroe. Finally./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Dr. Griffin, you shouldn't be standing after your fainting spell."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"How is she?" Clarke crossed her arms over her chest, straightening her back and trying to convey as much strength as she could in that moment. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"How are you, Clarke? Are you okay?" Monroe's eyes softened considerably as she gazed upon the other woman. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I don't care about me right now. How is Lexa Woods? The ER patient?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"She's…okay, they got her an MRI and the results are clean. They stitched up her head and we're monitoring her closely."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Can I see her?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanDr. Monroe glanced at something behind Clarke, as if she couldn't meet her eyes, "Clarke, you're a doctor here and close to this patient, I can't have you on the case."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I don't care, have you checked for brain bleeds? How is her functioning?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanDr. Monroe gave her a look that made Clarke's heart drop into her stomach and she knew. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"She hasn't woken up, has she?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Not yet, but we're waiting. Don't worry, Clarke, it'll—"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke stalked up to Dr. Monroe, "Don't worry? Don't worry that my girlfriend, the woman I love is in another room, probably in a em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"coma /emthat she could potentially never wake up from?" Her blood boiled and her hands shook with rage and fear. This wasn't good. Tears pricked at her eyes but Clarke refused to let them fall. Now was not the time./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Clarke, I need you to stay calm. I'm going to call Bellamy and have him drive you home. You can come back in the morning, okay?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Please, just let me see—"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I can't, she's being closely monitored. Have some faith in your co-workers, please. Bellamy is on his way to drive you home," Monroe clenched her jaw, nodding her head with finality as she turned to leave before pausing. "But Clarke, I know Lexa is strong, she'll be fine. She has the best team watching over her." Then she was gone and Clarke was left alone once again./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"~span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span~span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span~br / span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe next morning, after a sleepless night, Lincoln allowed Clarke to see his little sister. He had argued with the staffing nurse for nearly twenty minutes over why Clarke had been denied access to her girlfriend. After going in an endless loop with the woman over closest living relatives, Clarke had been allowed to visit her girlfriend./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanThe walk down the familiar emergency hallway felt different as a visitor. Her co-workers nodded to her politely when they passed and nurses that new her greeted her with a smile, but didn't question why she was there. Honestly, they probably all knew./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLincoln and Anya had informed Clarke that Lexa had woken up around 6am and hadn't been back to sleep since. They warned her that her face was swollen and she would probably be asleep when Clarke arrived. But the blonde was used to this, she was normally the one warning family members not to freak out over the way someone looked. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanRoom 2179's door was closed and she rested her hand on the doorknob. Her mind raced through everything the two of them had said to each other these last few weeks. Their relationship had slowly been ripping at the seams no matter how hard Clarke had tried to stitch it back together. What if Lexa didn't want to see her? What if she'd tell her to go away?/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke wasn't going to stand for that. It might have only been three months and if it had been any other person, Clarke probably would have said that it wasn't meant to work out. If they were having problems already, clearly they weren't meant for each other. But she didn't believe that, so with a burst of confidence, Clarke opened the door./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa was awake and sitting up in bed. Clarke's eyes scanned over her face, her heart stopped pounding so erratically. She noted the bruise over her cheek and the stitching disappearing into her hairline. There were small cuts trailing over her nose and face, but she looked alright besides the intense swelling of her right cheek. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke remembered how she'd looked early that morning, when she had first arrived, as though she may have had worse injuries than what there was due to the amount of blood present. But Lexa had been lucky. Her seatbelt had been in place and she'd had fast enough reflexes, from what Clarke had heard, to avoid a head on collision with the other driver./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanWhen their eyes finally met, Lexa tried to smile but her eyes filled with tears instead. She extended her hand forward, an IV poking into the back of it and bruises shadowed her skin. Clarke's heart ached in her chest at the sight of the other woman looking so broken. She'd seen Lexa cry maybe one other time and that was when she'd been stressed and not sad, this was so much worse./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"Hey, hey," Clarke smiled, but her throat was closing up and tears were pricking at her eyes too as she rushed around the side of the bed. "You're okay, Lexa." she slipped her hand into her girlfriend's and leaned over her, pressing a tender kiss to an unmarked part of the brunette's forehead. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and breathed in, allowing Lexa's scent to calm her nerves./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa's head rested heavily on her chest and her shoulders rose and fell sporadically as she cried, soaking Clarke's shirt. The blonde didn't care though, she just held on and let her tears fall too, basking in relief that Lexa was okay. After several moments, Clarke spoke, "I saw you. In the ER."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Wha-" Lexa pulled away a bit to meet Clarke's eyes./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I picked up a shift and…I thought you were dead, Lexa." Clarke shut her eyes tightly to stave off the tears threatening to spill and sucked in a deep, shaky breath. "I saw you and I thought I'd never get to talk to you again. I thought we were going to end…just like that."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Clarke, I'm—"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke's heart jumped sharply in her chest as she opened her eyes again. Lexa's were bright green and glassy, staring at her so sadly it hurt. "Wait, let me finish. I thought I wasn't going to get the chance to say how I feel about you. I know it may be too early, but I want to tell you."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShaky hands came up and brushed the tears from Clarke's cheeks, "Clarke, don't say it yet. Don't say it because our emotions are high, and we don't need to rush this. I'm not going anywhere now, okay?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Are you sure?" Clarke mumbled nervously./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa smiled reassuringly, her tears drying as they spoke, "Yes, but I feel the same way. We just don't need to say it right now."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Okay," Clarke nodded./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Okay." Lexa pulled the blonde into a hug again. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to argue with you. I was just stressed...and then the accident happened and for a second I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to say I was sorry." Lexa blabbered after a moment, tears running hot and fresh down her cheeks once again. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke brought her hands to Lexa's face and pulled back a bit, trying to blink back the tears blurring her own vision once again. "You're okay, you're here and I forgive you, don't be sorry. You forget how well I know you sometimes, don't you?"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"What do you mean?" Lexa frowned, her eyes red rimmed and cheeks tear stained but her head tilted to the side like a confused puppy./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke managed a small smile and brushed a stray strand of hair behind Lexa's tiny ear tenderly. "Baby, you start arguments when you're stressed. You push me away and I fight back until you're finally willing to open up to me about what's bothering you."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa pouted her tears drying up a bit, "I don't like you anymore."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Shut up," Clarke laughed and rolled her eyes, placing a tender kiss to Lexa's lips, being careful of the split in the lower one./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"My head hurts," Lexa licked her lips and messed with the cut a bit after they separated. "I didn't want to sleep until I saw you…I didn't want you to walk out when you saw I was sleeping so I stayed up. Would you…would you sit with me? For a little bit?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Always," Clarke grabbed one of the chairs and drew it to Lexa's bedside. She dropped her hand to brush over Lexa's forearm and smiled. "You can rest, I'll be here."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa's fingers intertwined with Clarke's as she closed her eyes and shifted to get comfortable. She rested on her side facing Clarke, "Don't let go?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I won't," Clarke straightened the blanket. She kept her eyes on Lexa, unable to peel them away for even a second. She was thankful the other girl was alive and the relief made her hands shake and her legs weak. If she was completely honest with herself, Clarke's whole world had nearly fallen apart and she didn't know when Lexa became her world. If it was the first night or some night since then, but, now, she was okay with it. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"strongspan style="color: black;"You're Always There For Me/span/strong/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""Clarke, I can't come over tomorrow." Lexa sighed with exasperation, her voice held an edge of annoyance. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Clarke sighed on the other end too, slouching into her couch and finally home from a hard day's work at the hospital. If she had known becoming a doctor was such a hard job when she was a kid she would never had aspired to be one. Her feet ached and her back throbbed, being constantly alert gave her a headache. All she wanted was a bit of time to relax with her girlfriend, but clearly that wasn't happening./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"She was reduced to begging now, "Please? I know you have to study, but you can study at my place. I'll be super quiet and off work until Friday. I just want to see you for a minute. It's been so long."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Lexa rolled her eyes, having made plans to study with a group of friends prior to talking with Clarke. Considering it was finals week of her senior year in college, Lexa was drowning in exams and essays. She had already planned to meet up with a couple of classmates in her Quantum Mechanics class and her brain was a whirl of Greek letters, algebra and calculus equations. She really was not in the mood for Clarke right now. "Babe, I have things to do."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""Why can't you do them here?" Clarke was getting irritated too. It was one thing for Lexa to be busy, but it was another that they hadn't seen each other in days and Lexa had been completely withdrawn for longer than that. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""Clarke, I made plans to study tonight, I can't."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"There was no emI'm sorry /emor apologetic tone to her voice, just a cold, distanced aggravation. "Why are you being like this?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""I have finals I'm stressed. I have to study tonight. I can't come over." Her words were clipped as she said them, unlocking her car as she did. She violently tossed her backpack in the car, and slammed the door before walking around to the drivers side. "I have to go," she mumbled abruptly and without giving Clarke a moment to respond, she hung up./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"It was rude and she knew it, but there were so many things on her mind that she didn't even think about how Clarke was feeling in the moment. Instead of dwelling on it, she turned up her radio and sped off in the direction of the library. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"~ ~ ~/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"With her feelings hurt and heart aching in her chest, Clarke sat dumbfounded in her living room wondering how exactly things had gotten so heated so quickly. Maybe she had been a bit pushy, but it didn't warrant Lexa's horrible attitude. It had been like that for nearly two weeks now, Lexa acting distant and avoiding Clarke at all costs. The blonde didn't really know what her deal was and hadn't had the option to discuss it with her because she was constantly being shut out. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"If anything, Clarke felt like her relationship was in jeopardy. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Instead of allowing herself to dwell, she called Octavia, who called Raven who ended up bringing Anya along. They ended up in Clarke's living room with two bottles of wine and an ungodly amount of Chinese food. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Pleasantly buzzed off the wine and exhausted from her fevered rant about her girlfriend, Clarke was lounging on the couch. She had her head in Raven's lap and her feet in Octavia's while Anya sat at the coffee table grumbling about her idiotic cousin. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"At first she had tried to defend Lexa, saying that she had a hard time with committing to relationships. That being with Clarke for so long was going to start scaring her. But when both Raven and Octavia kept shutting her down and arguing to the point where their voices rose, Clarke had shut all three of them down./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Raven's fingers kept running through her hair, trying to assuage the headache they both knew was throbbing through her skull. Octavia had resorted to using Clarke's legs as a table for her fried rice and Anya was scrolling through a social media app on her phone. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"They rested in silence until Clarke's phone vibrated on the table by the couch. It took a moment for her to process it and when she did, Raven already had it in her hand. "It's Miller."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Gimme," Clarke reached out without opening her eyes and slid the answer key once the phone was within her grasp. "What's up, Miller?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Hey, Griffin, I have a favor to ask you," his voice was cautious and small, as if he fully expected her not to help./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""What's up?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Would you be willing to work my overnight tonight? Brian has an emergency and I need to have the night off."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Clarke sighed, even though she knew she would say yes, it still aggravated her that she didn't have plans for the evening. "Yeah, I'll fill in for you. But you owe me one."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Really? Thanks, Clarke! Anything you want, I promise. I owe you big time," Miller gushed, the smile obvious in his voice. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""What time do I need to fill in?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""I'm supposed to clock in at midnight, I know this is late notice and you worked today. But I really appreciate it, Brian really appreciates it."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""It's no big deal, Miller," Clarke rolled her eyes at Raven who was frowning at her, clearly wanting to know what was going on./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""I'm in the ER tonight and it shouldn't be too bad for a Tuesday," Miller reassured. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Yeah, no big deal."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Thanks, Clarke. I'll talk to you later."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Bye, Miller." Clarke hung up the phone and groaned loudly. Her body ached from being on shift for nearly twenty four hours and now she had signed up for a twelve hour overnight shift. It wasn't that she didn't want to help out Nathan, she was just irritated with the fact that she emcould/em fill in for him. If Lexa had just wanted to spend time with her she would have most definitely said no./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""What' was that about?" Anya asked, glancing up from her cellphone. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""Miller wants me to fill in for him tonight."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Octavia coughed, "You said yes?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""What else should I have said? No? I don't have anything to do tonight."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""You could hang out with us," Raven smacked her stomach lightly, "It's been awhile since we've gotten a chance to hang out with you."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""I know, but hey, we got a couple of good hours in, right? Next time, I'll make sure Miller fills in for me and we can all go out for drinks or something," Clarke turned her head to smirk at Anya, "Even you."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Anya narrowed her eyes at Clarke, "As if I even like spending time with you, blondie."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"Clarke chuckled and sat up. "I should probably go to sleep and try to get rid of the alcohol in my system."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""So you're going to kick us out? That's not fair!" Octavia exclaimed, bringing her Chinese food to her chest protectively. "I'm still eating!"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""You're always eating, Octavia." Anya pointed out./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;""You guys can hang around, you just have to be quiet," Clarke shrugged./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"In the end, Raven and Anya opted to leave, saying something about meeting up with Anya's mom for drinks. Octavia stayed because Lincoln was busy with his friends, helping them move out of their old house. She turned the television on, wished Clarke a goodnight and settled in for the evening. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"It wasn't odd for Clarke's friends to use her house as a place to crash because she trusted them completely with her things. At one point, she and Raven had been roommates and Octavia had practically lived with them for a year when she was trying to figure out her life. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"~ ~ ~/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Clarke slept for a bit over four hours, finding it difficult to sleep without knowing how she and Lexa were doing. It had been radio silence since the phone call earlier in the day and not knowing what her girlfriend was up to or if she was okay, really hurt her. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"When she woke up, there wasn't a message and even though she wanted to at least try to make a connection, it was Lexa who had started this and it would be Lexa who communicated with her in the end. So she turned off her phone and headed to work. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"After changing into her scrubs in the locker room and slipping on her lab coat and stethoscope, she found her station in the ER. She hooked her pager to her hip and found charts for some of the patients who had already come through. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Maia was seated at the receptionist desk in the ER lobby and Clarke greeted her once she strolled over. "Hey, Maia."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""Dr. Griffin," Maia smiled, stopping her system filing on the computer. "I thought it was supposed to be Dr. Miller tonight."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;""He had a family emergency and asked me to cover for him," Clarke shrugged, straightening her coat. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span class="apple-tab-span"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/spanspan style="color: black;"Maia wrinkled her nose, "I'm sorry, but I'm glad you're here."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Who's the other on call tonight?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, Dr. Monroe."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThey chatted together for a few more minutes until Clarke was drawn away by her pager. The night was slow, considering it was a weeknight in the middle of winter, there was very little likelihood of anyone being out. She responded to a few concussions and several drunken accidents by college students, but there were no serious life-threatening emergencies. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe had just settled into the mess room with a blanket and her eyes were drifting closed when her pager went off. The code on the screen sent her heart pounding and adrenaline pumping quickly in her veins./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke stood and rushed down to the ER. It was abuzz with nurses and EMTs rushing around and shouting at each other. From what she could catch, a college student had crashed on her way out of the school grounds. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanBlue eyes caught on to a mop of curly hair, Bellamy, rushing through the emergency room door with a gurney being pushed right behind him by a couple of his crew. Clarke walked right to him and when his eyes caught hers, she could see the near panic in his. He tried to mask it, she knew and when he rushed to her and grabbed a hold of her arms she knew something was wrong. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Clarke, stay back, you can't—"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I can't what, Bellamy? This is my ER and I'm here to help, now move."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Clarke, you don't want—" He tried to block her view as the gurney was rolled further past her. Clarke caught a glimpse of dark hair and then a face, a face swollen and covered in blood, but one that she knew better than her own. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Lexa./em /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHer heart seemed to stop and time seemed to slow to a crawl as her girlfriend was rolled, unconscious and bleeding right past her. The moment Lexa was gone, time sped up and Clarke was left reeling. Her breathing came in gasps and she clung to Bellamy for support, her legs felt weak and her body was going to collapse. She registered Bellamy's shout for help before her vision went black. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"~span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span~span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span~br / span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke was pacing like a caged animal, back and forth in a private examination room. Bellamy had insisted after she woke up that Dr. Monroe came to see her, but it had been nearly thirty minutes. Clarke was almost certain they had left her there so she couldn't get to Lexa. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe'd passed out, yes, but Bellamy had caught her in time that there was no concussion. There was no underlying medical reason for her loss of consciousness besides pure shock and fear, Clarke was certain of that. But Lexa, Lexa was injured, and Clarke had no way of knowing if she was alright. What were the extents of her injuries? Was she in surgery? Was there something wrong internally or was it all external? em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Was Lexa dead?/em/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThat was the one question Clarke feared the answer to, the rest she could fix with her hands. Death? Death, she couldn't fight. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanTheir fight kept replaying in her head. Could those really be the last words they spoke to each other? She needed to make this right as soon as possible, but she needed to see Lexa first. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe doorknob turned and Clarke stopped in her tracks, turning to the door immediately. It was Monroe. Finally./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Dr. Griffin, you shouldn't be standing after your fainting spell."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"How is she?" Clarke crossed her arms over her chest, straightening her back and trying to convey as much strength as she could in that moment. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"How are you, Clarke? Are you okay?" Monroe's eyes softened considerably as she gazed upon the other woman. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I don't care about me right now. How is Lexa Woods? The ER patient?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"She's…okay, they got her an MRI and the results are clean. They stitched up her head and we're monitoring her closely."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Can I see her?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanDr. Monroe glanced at something behind Clarke, as if she couldn't meet her eyes, "Clarke, you're a doctor here and close to this patient, I can't have you on the case."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I don't care, have you checked for brain bleeds? How is her functioning?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanDr. Monroe gave her a look that made Clarke's heart drop into her stomach and she knew. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"She hasn't woken up, has she?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Not yet, but we're waiting. Don't worry, Clarke, it'll—"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke stalked up to Dr. Monroe, "Don't worry? Don't worry that my girlfriend, the woman I love is in another room, probably in a em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"coma /emthat she could potentially never wake up from?" Her blood boiled and her hands shook with rage and fear. This wasn't good. Tears pricked at her eyes but Clarke refused to let them fall. Now was not the time./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Clarke, I need you to stay calm. I'm going to call Bellamy and have him drive you home. You can come back in the morning, okay?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Please, just let me see—"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I can't, she's being closely monitored. Have some faith in your co-workers, please. Bellamy is on his way to drive you home," Monroe clenched her jaw, nodding her head with finality as she turned to leave before pausing. "But Clarke, I know Lexa is strong, she'll be fine. She has the best team watching over her." Then she was gone and Clarke was left alone once again./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"~span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span~span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span~br / span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe next morning, after a sleepless night, Lincoln allowed Clarke to see his little sister. He had argued with the staffing nurse for nearly twenty minutes over why Clarke had been denied access to her girlfriend. After going in an endless loop with the woman over closest living relatives, Clarke had been allowed to visit her girlfriend./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanThe walk down the familiar emergency hallway felt different as a visitor. Her co-workers nodded to her politely when they passed and nurses that new her greeted her with a smile, but didn't question why she was there. Honestly, they probably all knew./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLincoln and Anya had informed Clarke that Lexa had woken up around 6am and hadn't been back to sleep since. They warned her that her face was swollen and she would probably be asleep when Clarke arrived. But the blonde was used to this, she was normally the one warning family members not to freak out over the way someone looked. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanRoom 2179's door was closed and she rested her hand on the doorknob. Her mind raced through everything the two of them had said to each other these last few weeks. Their relationship had slowly been ripping at the seams no matter how hard Clarke had tried to stitch it back together. What if Lexa didn't want to see her? What if she'd tell her to go away?/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke wasn't going to stand for that. It might have only been three months and if it had been any other person, Clarke probably would have said that it wasn't meant to work out. If they were having problems already, clearly they weren't meant for each other. But she didn't believe that, so with a burst of confidence, Clarke opened the door./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa was awake and sitting up in bed. Clarke's eyes scanned over her face, her heart stopped pounding so erratically. She noted the bruise over her cheek and the stitching disappearing into her hairline. There were small cuts trailing over her nose and face, but she looked alright besides the intense swelling of her right cheek. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke remembered how she'd looked early that morning, when she had first arrived, as though she may have had worse injuries than what there was due to the amount of blood present. But Lexa had been lucky. Her seatbelt had been in place and she'd had fast enough reflexes, from what Clarke had heard, to avoid a head on collision with the other driver./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanWhen their eyes finally met, Lexa tried to smile but her eyes filled with tears instead. She extended her hand forward, an IV poking into the back of it and bruises shadowed her skin. Clarke's heart ached in her chest at the sight of the other woman looking so broken. She'd seen Lexa cry maybe one other time and that was when she'd been stressed and not sad, this was so much worse./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"Hey, hey," Clarke smiled, but her throat was closing up and tears were pricking at her eyes too as she rushed around the side of the bed. "You're okay, Lexa." she slipped her hand into her girlfriend's and leaned over her, pressing a tender kiss to an unmarked part of the brunette's forehead. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and breathed in, allowing Lexa's scent to calm her nerves./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa's head rested heavily on her chest and her shoulders rose and fell sporadically as she cried, soaking Clarke's shirt. The blonde didn't care though, she just held on and let her tears fall too, basking in relief that Lexa was okay. After several moments, Clarke spoke, "I saw you. In the ER."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Wha-" Lexa pulled away a bit to meet Clarke's eyes./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I picked up a shift and…I thought you were dead, Lexa." Clarke shut her eyes tightly to stave off the tears threatening to spill and sucked in a deep, shaky breath. "I saw you and I thought I'd never get to talk to you again. I thought we were going to end…just like that."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Clarke, I'm—"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke's heart jumped sharply in her chest as she opened her eyes again. Lexa's were bright green and glassy, staring at her so sadly it hurt. "Wait, let me finish. I thought I wasn't going to get the chance to say how I feel about you. I know it may be too early, but I want to tell you."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShaky hands came up and brushed the tears from Clarke's cheeks, "Clarke, don't say it yet. Don't say it because our emotions are high, and we don't need to rush this. I'm not going anywhere now, okay?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Are you sure?" Clarke mumbled nervously./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa smiled reassuringly, her tears drying as they spoke, "Yes, but I feel the same way. We just don't need to say it right now."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Okay," Clarke nodded./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Okay." Lexa pulled the blonde into a hug again. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to argue with you. I was just stressed...and then the accident happened and for a second I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to say I was sorry." Lexa blabbered after a moment, tears running hot and fresh down her cheeks once again. /span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke brought her hands to Lexa's face and pulled back a bit, trying to blink back the tears blurring her own vision once again. "You're okay, you're here and I forgive you, don't be sorry. You forget how well I know you sometimes, don't you?"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"What do you mean?" Lexa frowned, her eyes red rimmed and cheeks tear stained but her head tilted to the side like a confused puppy./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanClarke managed a small smile and brushed a stray strand of hair behind Lexa's tiny ear tenderly. "Baby, you start arguments when you're stressed. You push me away and I fight back until you're finally willing to open up to me about what's bothering you."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa pouted her tears drying up a bit, "I don't like you anymore."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Shut up," Clarke laughed and rolled her eyes, placing a tender kiss to Lexa's lips, being careful of the split in the lower one./span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"My head hurts," Lexa licked her lips and messed with the cut a bit after they separated. "I didn't want to sleep until I saw you…I didn't want you to walk out when you saw I was sleeping so I stayed up. Would you…would you sit with me? For a little bit?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Always," Clarke grabbed one of the chairs and drew it to Lexa's bedside. She dropped her hand to brush over Lexa's forearm and smiled. "You can rest, I'll be here."/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLexa's fingers intertwined with Clarke's as she closed her eyes and shifted to get comfortable. She rested on her side facing Clarke, "Don't let go?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 150%;"span style="color: black;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I won't," Clarke straightened the blanket. She kept her eyes on Lexa, unable to peel them away for even a second. She was thankful the other girl was alive and the relief made her hands shake and her legs weak. If she was completely honest with herself, Clarke's whole world had nearly fallen apart and she didn't know when Lexa became her world. If it was the first night or some night since then, but, now, she was okay with it. /span/p