Cheshire and Luffy stood in front of a mushroom. Cheshire's ears perked up. He looked to the side.
"I'm being called," he muttered. He turned to Luffy. "You wait here. I'll see you around, Luff." He ran off.
"Wait! Chess! What do I do!?" she yelled.
"Wait for Absulin!" was the only thing she heard before Cheshire was normal-sized and running away. Luffy sighed and decided to wait for this Absulin person. She walked back and forth. She sat on the ground. She even re-tied the bow that was coming loose in her hair. Finally, a bored voice spoke.
"Who, are, you?" Luffy looked over to see a man that resembled a caterpillar. He was sitting comfortably on the mushroom, smoking a cigar.
"I'm a pirate! Are you Absluin?" Luffy smiled.
"Shouldn't you know that? You came to see me," he snorted, blowing smoke into her face. Luffy cocked her head to the side.
"Now, who, are, you?" he breathed. The words came out in smoke. Luffy coughed and waved the smoke away from her face.
"Stop doing that!" she yelled.
"Doing what?"
"Blowing smoke in my face!"
"Oh..." He breathed out the letters into her face. Luffy growled.
The caterpillar continued to answer Luffy in short sentences. Luffy put her hands on her hips.
"Can you tell me how to get out of this place?" she asked. "Or how to get to this 'big event,'" she tried.
"Just go the way you came. Or, you can go that way." Absulin breathed out smoke that trailed off in the direction of a house Cheshire had run to.
"I'm too small to walk all the way over there!" Luffy protested.
"Then eat from the mushroom." Absulin rolled over so he could stand.
"What?" Luffy asked.
"One side will make you shorter, the other will make you taller," Absulin muttered before leaving Luffy to wonder which side was which. She sat on the mushroom and grabbed a piece from each side of the mushroom, staring at them both.
"One side makes me shorter, the other makes me taller..."
She bit into one. And she grew, and grew, and grew some more. Luffy was taller than the trees. She laughed.
"Wow! I'm so big!" She jumped up and down happily when a shrill came from above.
"Serpent! Let go of my eggs! Serpent!"A bird pecked at her head. She winced in pain and wished she was rubber again.
"No! No! Bird! Calm down! I'm a pirate!" Luffy said proudly. The bird screamed even more.
"AH! PIRATE! HELP!" She flew around Luffy's head. Luffy rolled her eyes. She picked up the other piece of the mushroom, biting into it. She shrunk and caught her balance as she returned to her normal height. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
"I'll save these, they could come in handy." She grinned, putting them in her pockets and running off to the house Cheshire ran off to.
After a long grassy field, she came to a house. Watching a delivery man leave after handing the doorman a letter, she walked and the doorman looked at her. Luffy smiled at him.
"I'm going inside now!" She waved, walking by.
"Why inside?" the man asked.
"Because I need to visit a friend and find my way home."
"Your way? All ways here are the Kings ways."
"That's stupid."
"Well, you don't look very bright yourself."
"Hey!"
"Hay is for horses."
"If only I was stronger..." Luffy stomped up to the door and pushed the door open. A plate flew at her head. She screamed and ducked. Then she sneezed.
"MORE PEPPER!" She heard someone yell. She sneezed and ventured to the kitchen where a woman was cooking and another was scolding her child and tossing him around. She looked up at the cabinets and saw Cheshire smiling down at her with that "stupid girl"-grin he always had.
After dodging the flying plates, sneezing sneeze after sneeze, and sending nasty glares to the amused cat-boy, the crying child came flying her way.
"Ah!" The air escaped her lungs as the boy slammed into her stomach. She clutched the baby and looked down at its sniffling face. "Geez! What are they doing!? Trying to kill you!? Screw Chess! Let's get outta here before we both die!" she snapped, carrying the baby out the house.
"Back so soon?" the doorman asked as she passed.
"Shut up, door-boy!" Luffy growled as she hurried by. Again, Luffy found herself back at the signs. She looked up at them. There was a new sign up now. It said, "Go Yonder for the Big Event!" Luffy didn't have the faintest idea of what direction yonder was, so she just followed the arrow on the sign only to come to a dead end.
"Stupid girl, leaving without me," a voice chuckled.
"Well! I just assumed that the baby and I would live better outside of that horrible house." Luffy glared.
"Baby? That looks more like a pig." Cheshire laughed when Luffy noticed the baby was now a pig. She let it down and it ran off. "Well, where are you going? Home?" Cheshire appeared in front of her. Luffy shrugged.
"Don't know which way to go. I'm heading yonder," she said.
"Ah, come with me," Cheshire said, walking down a path. Luffy sighed, following the cat-eared boy.
Cheshire hopped up and sat in a tree. Luffy looked up at him and then she looked around at the dark, pathless, forest.
"Well? Which way?" she asked.
"Well, some go this way, others go that way. I personally prefer the shortcut," Cheshire explained as he kicked a branch to the side and a door opened in the large tree, revealing a beautiful garden.
"Oh wow! Chess! Check it - Chess?" She looked up to see her cat like friend had disappeared yet again. She shrugged, climbing through the tree and into the garden where men dressed like playing cards were rushing around with paint brushes. They were tripping and falling over each other, yelling about some Kings. Luffy watched them and decided the card-men could use some help.
Luffy tapped one man on the shoulder. He jumped and turned to face her.
"Oh! Oh, you've arrived! The Kings have been driving themselves up the wall looking for you!" the man shouted, shaking Luffy's shoulders.
"Ryuu and Zyuu?" she asked. The man nodded. Then, another card-man turned around.
"Is that the new Queen?" he asked. The third man answered.
"She made it all the way here, I would hope so!" He chuckled. Luffy shook her head, not understanding what they were talking about.
"Uh, what are you guys doing?" she asked.
"Painting these roses white," the first man replied.
"And these ones I'm painting black," the third one said.
"Why?" Luffy asked.
"Because King Zyuu Likes black roses," the second one said.
"King Ryuu like white roses," The first one explained. Luffy nodded hesitantly. Then she smiled.
"Can I help?" she asked. The men looked at each other, then at Luffy.
"Sure!" they all said. Luffy grabbed two paint brushes and began painting roses white and black. She laughed, slapping paint on each discolored rose.
Meanwhile, Sanji and Zoro were arguing.
"THE SIGNS HAVE ARROWS, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHICH WAY TO GO!?" Sanji yelled.
"BECAUSE 'THIS WAY' AND 'THAT WAY' ARE FUCKING HELPFUL DIRECTIONS!" Zoro yelled back.
"Uh, having trouble?" a voice said. The two looked at the sign to see a boy that resembled a cat. He was grinning down at them.
"Have you seen a girl? Brown hair, brown eyes, about this tall," Zoro described his captain. The boy jumped down.
"Oh! You must be friends of Luff. Yeah, I just sent her on her way to where she was going." He shrugged. "I'm Cheshire, by the way."
"Well, where did she go?" Sanji asked.
"Well, she took a wrong turn, went through a school, to Fredrick's house, a tea party, a forest, Absulin's place, my house, and now she should be in the Kings' garden," Cheshire recounted all he'd heard from the other inhabitants of Wonderland. "She's attending the 'big event.'" Cheshire chuckled, shaking his head.
"Big event?" Zoro asked.
"The wedding, of course! Everyone in Wonderland is talking about it." He shrugged. Sanji grabbed Cheshire by the shirt.
"Take us there. Where Luffy is," he demanded. Cheshire held up his hands.
"Calm down, I know a shortcut." Cheshire grinned. "I'll bring you right to that stupid girl." He laughed as he opened the tree passage.
Back at the garden, Luffy was sitting beside the card-men, who were bowing to the long line of people. Hare smiled at her, Hatter tipped his hat, Dormy yawed and waved, and Fredrick - who she hadn't met yet - introduced himself. The kids from the school were even there. The women from that horrible house, too. At the front, was a black carriage and a white carriage. They both opened and Zyuu and Ryuu came out.
"Ryuu! Zyuu!" Luffy waved at them. The Kings smiled at her.
"Welcome," they said at the same time. "Before the big event, would you like to play a game of croquet?" they both asked. Luffy shrugged, not having the faintest idea of what that was, but she was up for a game anytime. She watched some. The game was confusing, and the Kings were very competitive.
Luffy walked along the hedges.
"Psst! Hey! Luff!" She turned and saw a head.
"Chess! Why are you a head?" she asked.
"You can't tell but I'm shrugging. Anyway, I have two people here to see you!" He smiled, then, the sky opened and Cheshire poured into the garden with two other people that Luffy recognized instantly.
"Zoro! Sanji!" She smiled at the two before her.
"Luffy?" Ryuu walked over. "Who're you talking to?" he asked.
"Chess. Erm, Cheshire," she corrected. Cheshire waved.
"How do ya do, Princey?" He laughed. Ryuu's eye twitched. Zyuu came over next, tripping over Zoro and Sanji.
"And who are they?" he asked.
"Zoro and Sanji!" she said. Then, the two got up.
"And we're taking Luffy home," Sanji said. Zoro put Luffy's hat on her head.
"Let's go, Luffy," he said.
"Okay! Oh! Wait!" Luffy turned. "Chess!" She got the attention of the cat-boy. "Join my crew!" she said. Cheshire shook his head.
"Sorry, Luff. Sounds fun, but I'd miss screwing with Princey here." He laughed at Ryuu, who attempted to punch him. Luffy looked down sadly.
"Oh, alright."
Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji started walking when two guards stopped them.
"Luffy will remain until her hand has been won! So says the Kings!" they recited. Ryuu and Zyuu both stood behind the three, they turned.
"Capture the two intruders," Ryuu said.
"Throw them in the dungeon," Zyuu added. Zoro nudged Luffy.
"In my bag is your Devil's Fruit," he whispered. Luffy slipped it out and ate it whole, gagging at the familiar, disgusting taste.
"Take them away!" the Kings demanded. The guards closed in.
"Luff!" Cheshire ran forward. "Grab on! Your friends, too!" he yelled. Luffy stretched her arm around Zoro and Sanji, then she grabbed Cheshire's hand.
And they disappeared.