Chapter 11

Kate looked on as Caroline considered her response. Pain was clearly etched in her eyes and the set of her jaw. The teacher found herself working against an impulse to smother the hurt with a hug but as she suspected Caroline needed space to gather her thoughts she sipped her coffee to occupy her hands as much as to enjoy the drink. She glanced across the top of her cup and noticed a shifting in Caroline's demeanour.

'I'm really glad I bumped into you this evening, Kate. There's something, I don't quite know what and why, but from the day of your interview I sensed an affinity with you. Huh! The linguist in you might think that's a strange word to use but it seems apt, to me anyway.' She stopped to check if she had made the wrong decision to confide in Kate. Compassion and perception, with no sign of ridicule, showed clearly on the face of her companion, which gave her the confidence to continue.

'I'm going to say something that is likely to seem an odd thing for an adult to admit, especially one in my position. To be honest I feel embarrassed to do so but the thing is, um.' Her voice started to crack, and she paused. To a casual observer her attention might have been waylaid by the delight on her plate but her companion recognised the real reason. She watched as Caroline cut her cake into halves and then quarters but, making no attempt to eat it, she started speaking again. 'I don't have any real support; well, apart from my mother. Friends, I guess I mean. I need to tell something to someone I can trust, and I really think that you can be that person, Kate, but I understand if you'd rather not.'

Kate's empathy could not be kept in check any longer and in a repeat of her actions earlier that day, she reached across the table and touched Caroline's arm. This time it was not a fleeting gesture and Caroline showed appreciation by covering Kate's hand, briefly, with her own.

'I've never believed in coincidence and I think people come into our lives when we need them. I'm not religious, in the accepted sense of the word, but I am a great believer in order and design. I feel that affinity too, to use your word. I sense how big a deal this is for you, Caroline, but if I'm the right person, in the right place at the right time, I'd consider it a privilege to listen.'

A reassured Caroline began her story.

'Life is proving difficult because Lawrence's dad has been having an affair. Is having. That's why you've picked up on his change in behaviour. Lawrence doesn't want anyone at school to know. Well, neither of the boys did but Lawrence admitted to me this evening that he was struggling and he's gone to tell his best friend. I'm sure you know Angus in Jenny Holmes' form group. Nice lad. I was so distracted that I took a wrong turn on my way home after dropping him off and that's why I ended up outside Costa on a rainy Monday evening.' Kate listened and analysed while Caroline spoke. She could hear the professional, confident head teacher's tone throughout rather than that of a wounded, grieving wife. She thought back to the conversation of the afternoon and guessed that this different approach was Caroline's way of dealing with a difficult conversation. She noticed that Caroline spoke of the affair as involving Lawrence's dad rather than her husband; another coping mechanism, Kate assumed.

'Oh, Caroline. I'm so sorry to hear that. Dear me. I'm pleased that you told me. I promise I won't say anything at school or even let Lawrence know that I know. Unless you want me to, that is.'

This time it was Caroline who reached out to Kate and gripped her hand.

'Not yet.'

'I did wonder. You know, after you were upset earlier. I thought it was not just because you'd heard my concerns about Lawrence. I didn't think you were the type of parent who couldn't handle a difficult conversation.' Kate paused, drumming her nails briefly on the table. 'I wonder, would you mind, can I ask questions?'

'I might not answer but you can ask.' Caroline once again focused her attention on her cake, this time nibbling the smallest amount from the tip of her fork.

'Am I right in thinking that this is a relatively new situation because Lawrence in September was a very different boy to the one I see now?'

As Caroline told further parts of the story she began to appreciate how good it felt to be offloading to someone other than her mother, the only other person she had told, apart from the boys. Kate was an attentive listener whose questions were relevant and kindly asked. The cappuccinos and cakes remained largely untouched and, without the women being aware, the café had emptied. A little before nine o'clock a member of staff approached the table.

'I'm so sorry to interrupt. We need to close soon. Would you mind if I cleared your table?'

Caroline looked anxiously at her watch, firstly with embarrassment and then concern in case she was late to collect Lawrence. She was relieved to see that at least the second part of her apprehension was without foundation.

'Oh, we're the ones who should apologise. I'm sorry. We've taken up a table all evening.'

'Was everything ok? You haven't finished.' The young man's tone suggested incredulity that so much had been left untouched.

'That's what happens when friends get talking! Nothing's wrong.' Kate assured him. 'Please take everything away.'

The puddles in the car park told the tale of continued rainfall, which was now torrential, and Kate happily accepted the offer of a lift home. Pulling the Jeep into the kerb outside the cottage Caroline turned in her seat to give a fleeting hug to a surprised Kate, who had no opportunity to respond before the contact was over. Caroline, who shocked herself by the action, immediately tried to cover her awkwardness.

'Oh Kate, just as well Mrs Cupid from Pilates isn't watching. She'd be even more convinced that we're a couple!'

'Oh, well. If she was it would keep her happy!' She reached across and returned Caroline's embrace before continuing in a more serious tone despite the apparent frivolity of some of her words. 'I've passed every exam there is on living with other people's opinions so that's for anyone watching who wasn't quick enough to catch the first one.' Kate took her door keys from her handbag while she spoke and then rested her right hand on Caroline's. 'Don't forget, please ring me if you ever need a chat or a diversion. Anytime.'

'Thank you. I'm likely to take you up on that offer. I hope Lawrence's chat with Angus has been as helpful as mine with you. Night, Kate.'

'Goodnight. See you tomorrow.'

Kate watched as the Jeep pulled away, fully aware that despite her best efforts she was falling in love with its tall, blonde, beautiful heartbroken driver. Meanwhile the object of her musing was shocked to sense an ache in her heart that had nothing to do with her husband's philandering.

ooOoo

'Morning Beverley!' Caroline called out as she heard her assistant arrive.

'Goodness me, you're in early.' Beverley replied from the outer office. 'I'd better get the kettle on!'

'Please, come in a minute first.'

Beverley didn't hesitate, hopeful of a positive start to the day. Caroline indicated that she should sit next to the desk.

'Did you read my e mail?' she asked, although not waiting for an answer. 'I'm so very sorry. You were right to speak to me about your concerns and it can't have been easy for you to do so. You most definitely didn't deserve my awful response.'

'It wasn't an easy conversation for either of us, I imagine. I knew that you would think about what I said even if you were initially dismissive. I don't want you to tell me what's wrong because that's not for me to know unless you decide otherwise, but I'm sure you know that I'll help in any way that I can.'

'Thank you. For your care and support. It's appreciated more than I can begin to say.'

Beverley smiled at the return of the frankness between them as much as at the words spoken. 'No problem. Anything I can do apart from make a cuppa?'

'There is actually. I've asked Kate McKenzie to meet with me at lunchtime. Could you get the kitchen to do a plate of sandwiches for us? She has a nut allergy, but they know that.'

'Of course. I'll do that on my way to make coffee.'

ooOoo

Caroline's morning was tedious in nature until eleven o'clock when she had a scheduled meeting with a new pupil's parents, who seemed to have unrealistic expectations of their child as well as the school. Caroline was not a stranger to such consultations and it did not take long for the frank exchange to achieve its goal and she doubted she would need to meet with them again. She walked the couple out of the building, to stretch her legs as well as to end the discussion more informally. On her return to the office she found Kate waiting for her.

'Hello, Kate. I'm glad you've made yourself at home. Not so nervous today, hopefully!' She squeezed Kate's shoulder in passing.

'Beverley said it would be ok to wait here but I get the impression she does an excellent job of protecting your space so I'm assuming she knew to expect me. Has she been with you from the start?'

'Yes, she was here for just over a year before I came. The previous head was a bit of a perfectionist and I think he gave Beverley a tough time. When I came the school was very regimented and it didn't take me long to realise who was open to change and Beverley was on my list. We all had to work extremely hard to restructure the school's ethos and reputation but there were a few who didn't get on board initially and that's when Beverley became my protector. The circumstances might have changed but that bit of her nature hasn't!'

As if on cue, Beverley knocked and entered, laden with a tray of sandwiches and tea.

'All the sandwiches are ok for you both; the kitchen thought that would be easier. I'll shut the door on my way out.' The secretary smiled as she placed the tray on the small coffee table, hopeful that Kate's company would encourage the head teacher to eat.

'Thank you, Beverley,' they replied, almost in unison.

Caroline stood up and directed Kate to the more comfortable chairs. Aware that it would have brewed on its journey from the kitchen she started to pour the tea, knowing from her visit to Kate's cottage in August that she didn't like it too strong. She smiled inwardly at the realisation as she placed the mug near to Kate.

'Just how you like it, I think.'

'Perfect! Thank you. I didn't expect this. I usually nibble on a cereal bar!'

'Good job this isn't an appraisal, then. If it was I'd be telling you to make time for essentials like breathing and eating! Although it isn't I'm still going to tell you to eat.'

'I don't need encouraging. But what about you?'

Caroline pulled at the waist band of her skirt. 'As you can see, there's room for a sandwich!' she said jokingly, but without smiling. 'Yesterday my little Rottweiler in the front office told me off about my weight. You might have noticed the smile on her face as she brought the sandwiches in. She's hoping that I'll eat because I'm in company. She knows something is worrying me but not the details.'

'I'm pleased that she's looking out for you.'

Caroline's manner changed to one of thoughtfulness as she recollected the change that twenty-four hours, and emotional support from two very kindly people, had brought about.

'How's my younger son today?' It wasn't a surprise to Kate that there was a limit to how long Caroline could focus on her own emotional wellbeing.

'About the same in form group but I was on break duty and happened to see that he was playing on the basketball court with some other lads. I think that's progress.'

'Nice try, Kate, but I don't for one minute accept your 'happened to see' claim. Fortunately for Lawrence and for me you were looking out for him. Thanks, Kate. Small steps. For both of us. God knows, we needed some progress.'

'There may be a backward step another day but at least you've both made a start. I promise I'll keep you posted on Lawrence.'

Caroline stared across the table, her thoughts and emotions racing.

'I've been thinking, Kate. It would be good for me to restart Pilates. My mother wouldn't mind looking out for the boys one evening a week. What do you feel about sharing a lift?'

'That's fine by me. We could alternate the driving, if you like. That way the passenger gets to drink more than half a glass!'

ooOoo

'Mum!' Lawrence called from the bottom of the stairs.

'I'm in the study.'

'Where's William?' asked a breathless Lawrence as he rushed into the kitchen, then opened the fridge to look for something to eat.

'Get out of that fridge. I'm out tonight so dinner will only be a few more minutes.' Caroline had given both boys some leeway since John had left but this was one battle in which she would not surrender. 'William's gone to get your Gran. She's eating with us and then looking after you while I'm out at Pilates.'

'We're old enough to look after ourselves.'

'That you should be, but we both know you can't. You'll be on your Xbox for too long if there's no one here to tell you otherwise and you won't listen to your brother.'

Lawrence muttered something that his mum didn't catch. She held her tongue rather than start an argument when she saw William and his Gran walk into the kitchen. Celia kissed and cuddled her daughter.

'You ok?' the older woman whispered.

'Yup.'

Meanwhile on the other side of the kitchen the boys were huddled together and their body language declared an impending disagreement.

'Well you can do what you want but I'm not going!' William barked.

'Not going where, William?' interjected his mum.

'With dad. Lawrence says dad wants to take us away for a long weekend at half term.'

'Oh, he does, does he? That's the first I've heard about it. Lawrence, what's all this about?'

'I keep telling him that I don't like just seeing him for a few hours here and there. In the cinema, McDonalds or wherever. I'm not going to her flat and so there's no other option because you don't want dad in the house. I had a text from him, just now, to say that he would book somewhere so we could have a couple of nights together. Half-term will be the best option because I won't have rugby. I'm going, so don't think you can stop me.' He glared at his mum as if to dare her to try.

'I've no intention of stopping you but I would have liked your father to speak to me first, that's all. William, if you don't want to go, that's fine too.'

Celia held onto her daughter's arm, to diffuse the situation while signalling William and Lawrence to sit at the table.

'Come on. As always, your mum's dinner smells wonderful. Let's eat. Please, boys.'

The conversation continued while they ate, with everyone trying hard to maintain the peace for one reason or another. After some wise words from his Gran, William agreed that he had been too hasty to decline the offer without proper thought so Caroline reluctantly agreed to contact John for further details. While she loved her boys and her mother, she was extremely relieved when the time came for her to head out to Pilates and, more importantly, the company of her friend.