Chapter 12

Despite encouragement from the adults of 46 Conway Drive, William remained antagonistic towards his father and could not be persuaded to go away with him, which pleased his brother as it meant he was given free reign to decide their itinerary. While John ranted and raved to his wife about their elder son's decision he was inwardly pleased and made no attempt to contact William, confirming to the youngster that he had made the right choice. Apart from the obvious extra work and cost involved should he take a second teenager, for John there was the added benefit of the closeness of his relationship with Lawrence which would make for an easier time. Not the most thoughtful man, John failed to appreciate that he needed to expend effort to reduce the gap between himself and William and ignoring the problem risked bringing about an unbridgeable gulf.

So, the plans were made between just two of the three Elliot males and on the first Saturday of half-term Lawrence dashed outside without a backward glance when his dad arrived to collect him.

'See you Monday!' he called. 'Don't miss me too much!'

Caroline and William were finishing breakfast and didn't even have time to reply before they heard the front door slam shut.

'What are your plans for today?' the concerned mum asked, seeing sadness in the face of the boy across the breakfast bar.

'I thought I'd do my homework and that way I've the rest of the holiday to chill. What about you?'

'You mean after washing, shopping, house-work etcetera, etcetera?!'

'You've all holiday to catch up on those chores and I can help.' He replied, getting off the stool to load the dishwasher.

'You've got all holiday to do your homework! How about we throw caution to the wind and do something adventurous?'

'You mean like escaping Gran's clutches for the day?' William's sense of humour was music to his mum's ears.

'That wasn't what I was suggesting but I'm game.'

'Yeah, I wonder how far we can drive before she notices we've gone! Eyes and ears never at rest. Celia Dawson, aka Supergran.'

'Simply the best! Thank you for the compliment.' Celia interrupted, having entered the house without their notice. Fortunately, on this occasion, William had exaggerated her aural skill and she had misheard some of the conversation.

'Better than all the rest!' came the youngster's speedy response. 'Morning Gran. We were just making our plans for the day. What are you up to?'

'Have you forgotten? You said you'd give me a hand to clean my flat and move that chest of drawers. I've got the carpet shampoo machine in my car. We'll have to get cracking because I've only hired it until four o'clock today.'

'So I did. Sorry, Gran. I'll get my scruffs on and be with you.'

'How are you and what are your plans today?' Celia asked as William left the room. Frequently annoyingly observant, on this occasion she was so focused on her own plans that she failed to notice the disappointment on her daughter's face.

'The usual, mum. Although now that John's finally taken his stuff I've the space to reorganise my bedroom. I've some boxes at the back of the wardrobe that haven't been opened since my Uni days. I'll sort through them while William is helping you.'

'I hope he'll be ok. I'm worried he'll regret not going away with John.'

'You may well be right to worry, mum, but I am not sure how well he would have coped with being away either. As you well know, he and Lawrence are the proverbial red rag and bull. Throw John's ego into the mix and you have a recipe for disaster. To be honest it wouldn't surprise me if Lawrence wanted to come back early. We'll see.'

'Yes, we will. How about going out for a meal tonight? My treat.'

'Thanks for the offer, mum, but I don't think I can face it. How about a take-away and a film instead? One good thing about us three being here together is that we'll not spend half the evening arguing over what to watch.'

ooOoo

Picking the smaller of the boxes to start with, Caroline spent a very enjoyable hour looking at her degree course work from Oxford days. She laughed inwardly at the naivete of some of her efforts and the flamboyance of her handwriting. Using that box for things she wanted to keep, she tipped the contents of the second box onto the carpet to free it up for the rubbish. Her attention was caught by a folded piece of paper, bound with a brittle elastic band which crumbled as she tried to remove it. Six small photographs fell onto her lap. Hesitantly, before looking at the photos, she unfolded the paper and steeled herself for what she would read. The letter was dated July 3rd, with no mention of the year, although she knew exactly when it was written; the summer holidays of her first year at University.

'My darling Caz,

How much I miss you! It's only five days since the end of term yet it seems like forever since I held you in my arms and kissed your beautiful face. I'm hoping that you're missing me as much. Actually, I know that you will be. Is that arrogance? No, it's blissful confidence that I hold the keys to the heart of the person I love most in all the world. I am dreading the days and weeks that lie ahead without you. Why do the holidays have to be so long?!

The first thing that I did after getting home was to have the film developed. Look how happy we are! I've kept half of the photos although there's one so blurred it's impossible to see us, but I can't bring myself to throw it away and I know that I never will. Goodness knows which one of our gormless friends couldn't hold the camera still.

I showed one of the photos to my parents and told them all about you. They weren't surprised. Sad, thoughtful but accepting. Mum said she was worried about me, about us, because of the opposition we're likely to face. Dad said what's accepted in a University environment won't be the case in the big wide world. If you can get here they would like to meet you. I don't think they're enough at peace with the news to agree to us sharing my bedroom, but I think you will agree being under the same roof will be wonderful. Interesting to think that they wouldn't have batted an eyelid about us bunking in together had I not been honest with them about the nature of our relationship. I wonder, have you dared to speak to your parents yet? Please try, sweetheart. Can't wait to hear from you.

All my love, forever, Meg. Xxx

P.S. Did your parents like your short hairstyle?

She read it a second and then a third time, although she did not need the script to remind her of the way Meg nurtured her heart and it ached as the memories were released. She turned her attention to the photographs, each one showing the same two young women with their wide smiles telling a story. Caroline Dawson and Meg Thomas, chemistry undergraduates; leaning back to back atop a brick wall, standing outside a cinema, sitting in a Wimpy bar with one coffee between them, and three other similar scenes - literal snapshots of the era and a loving relationship. The recent rejection and the hurt of so long ago joined forces to generate unimaginable pain. Her heart lost the battle against her brain as it resolutely concentrated her thoughts on the aftermath of Meg's letter, knowing that this was something she had never dared to process, and she cried as if being tortured. Her first thought as the anguish began to diminish was to pick up her phone, although she could not yet bring herself to talk.

'Morning Kate. Are you busy?' she texted.

'Not especially. Anything wrong?' came the quick reply.

'A backward step. Well, leap, really. Can I see you?'

'Of course. Come round or I can come to you.'

'Put the kettle on. Please.'

Within seconds Caroline was heading downstairs but as if held by a cord that denied her escape, she returned to her room to collect the photos and letter, carefully placing them in the inner zipped pocket of her bag. She knocked on the window of Celia's flat and shouted to the two workers that she needed to go out for a little while, leaving them assuming she was heading towards the local tidy-tip.

ooOoo

By the time Caroline arrived at Kate's cottage she had begun to wonder if she had made a wise decision. Now more in control of herself she felt awkward at troubling her friend, as the morning's release of padlocked memories had fanned the spark of physical attraction she had already begun to feel towards Kate. She knew that she dared not risk acting in any way that might ruin things between the two of them, so she determined to stay long enough for a cuppa before making an excuse to leave.

Kate hugged Caroline as she welcomed her at the door, now most definitely friends rather than colleagues greeting each other. Once in the kitchen it was clear that food was being prepared and Caroline felt embarrassed that she had interrupted Kate's lunch.

'Oh, Kate, I'm so sorry. I didn't even think what the time was when I texted you. I'll go.'

'That you won't. I'm doing some for you too. If you're hungry, that is.'

Caroline's inner being whispered to her that she was hungry but not for food. Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment at what Kate would think if she could read her mind.

'Gosh, it's hot in here, Kate.'

'Here, let me take your jacket. Make yourself at home. Chicken soup and crusty bread coming up.'

'That's a wonderful smelling soup,' she complimented as she lifted the lid on the saucepan.

'I'm not the world's best cook but I promise it will taste good too. I make a batch, use it just as soup or maybe stock for casseroles and it freezes well if there's any left. Mother nature's penicillin, so it's said.'

'In that case I'm not sorry I disturbed you.'

'Not sure it's a big enough reward to compensate for your backward step but I'm pleased you felt able to contact me.' Kate placed crockery and spoons on the breakfast bar as she watched her visitor. 'Is it Lawrence being away with John? The cause, I mean.' Seeing detachment on Caroline's face she added, 'Sorry, you might not want to talk about it.'

'No, it's reasonable for you to ask,' she acknowledged without offering an answer. 'Can we eat first, Kate?'

'No problem. Can you cut the bread, please, while I get the soup?'

The women directed their attention to the task in hand and the conversation shifted to more mundane topics. With such a delightful companion, tasty food, the radio playing quietly in the background and the late autumn sun shining through the large picture window, Caroline knew she had rarely enjoyed a more pleasant lunch. Afterwards they cleared away together, both sorry that time was passing so quickly.

'What are your plans for half-term?'

'I'm still decorating the spare bedroom so that's my priority; not that I'm expecting visitors. Then there's spring bulbs to plant that I haven't even bought yet. Perhaps you can tell me which is the best garden centre. Or, better still, go with me if you have time and can get away from the boys.'

'You forgot my mum, Kate! The boys will be fine, but she'll camp out in the Jeep if she hears about any plans for a garden centre trip. Seriously!'

Kate laughed but Caroline picked up on a hollowness and instantly realised her mistake.

'You'll have to forgive me laughing about her because I bet you would give anything for your mum to go with you. Or a partner. I've not dared to ask before, have you always lived on your own?' Caroline was not sorry at that moment for attention to be focused on Kate.

'I do miss my mum, but we've adjusted to being on different sides of the Atlantic and we make the most of the times when we're together. As for living on my own, I haven't always. Richard and I divorced last year and that's when I missed her the most, I guess. It was good then it wasn't and now I'm in a better place. It took me some time to realise that the marriage wasn't working and in many ways what came before the separation was the worst. Then it was like a switch being flicked and we knew we shouldn't stay together.'

'Kate, you're so intelligent, pretty and kind that it can't be long before you find a decent man to appreciate and love you.'

Kate bent down to put the saucepan in a cupboard and used the opportunity to summon the courage to challenge Caroline's declaration, knowing that she could not be disingenuous to her friend.

'That's kind of you but, the thing is, I mean, I'm not looking for a man, Caroline. I'm gay. I thought you knew.'