Chapter 14: Comparison
"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," Peter commented as we saved the table. Myra had gone to the bathroom and Edward decided to wait for her. There were two other open seats and I briefly wondered who was meeting us.
"I know," I nodded. "How was Christmas in D.C.?"
"Boring," he rolled his eyes.
Peter had gone to see Blossom. He asked me if I wanted to go but I had taken my vacation before that to go with Eric to Candor. And that was not the only reason. My job wasn't allowing its workers to take vacation during the Christmas weekend. I had been keeping in contact with Blossom regarding my situation with Eric ever since Peter had me call her when we went to get coffee. She scolded me a lot about things that I would do or say regarding our relationship. I couldn't help but remember that this was probably the first time I ever heard her defend a boyfriend of mine.
"I'm sure your sister didn't want you to party hard like you usually do," I rolled my eyes. "But there must have been something that was fun out there for the womanizing and contemptuous Peter Hayes."
"Womanizing, why I am trying to change my ways," he placed his hand over his heart. "And as far as being contemptuous, well," he tilted his head and took a drink of his beer. "I won't argue with that. I can be an insulting bastard sometimes."
A soft laugh escaped my mouth. "You're sweet when you need to be though. I think you just need to find the right girl." And then I remembered Tris. "And when you do meet her, don't sleep with her best friend to make her jealous or have some girl seduce her boyfriend away in the hopes that you could come along and 'mend'," I air quoted, "her broken heart."
"That is my M.O.," he smirked. "Enough about me how was your Christmas holiday," Peter asked.
"Wonderful," I smiled thinking about how the rest of that day played out.
I had felt someone dragging me. I was desperately trying to kick myself free from their clutches but it wasn't working. I thrashed around as I felt arms encircle me and screamed loudly for someone to help me. I thought I saw my attacker's face telling me that he had been waiting for me. Desperately, I tried to break free again and again until I heard more laughter from other men in the room.
"Ana baby, wake up," Eric's voice called to me.
I shot up but didn't get too far. Eric's arms were already wrapped around me. We had fallen off to sleep on the couch for a couple hours after opening presents and making love by the tree. I settled back into his warmth and one of Eric's hands began to soothingly massage my back again. My breathing slowed down to normal as I felt Eric's lips press against my forehead.
"You've never had a nightmare before," he commented.
"I know," I whispered. "I felt like someone was taking me, dragging me somewhere. A man was holding onto me. There were other men laughing at me."
"No one is holding you now but me," Eric replied and I shifted to look up at him. We were naked from our previous fun on the floor in front of the tree. His eyes held such compassion and warmth in that moment that I felt completely safe. "I got you," he cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb slowly.
My eyes fluttered closed at the touch and I relaxed again in his arms. I knew in that moment that I'd never want to leave him. The sun was just setting on that Christmas day. Beautiful colors shined through the window and danced with the Christmas decorations. Eric shifted us so that he could lie back down again and draped my body over his. The sheet had fallen sometime during my awakening from the nightmare but for the first time in a long time I felt that it didn't matter. I felt cherished in this man's arms and I wasn't about to hide from him anymore.
We started the evening, still wrapped up in a sheet but sitting at the table where we ate our Christmas dinner which was my mother's warmed up cooking.
"This is wonderful," Eric leaned over and kissed me softly. "And I'm not just talking about the meal. I liked how this day turned out."
"How did you expect it turn out? Horrible," I playfully nudged him. "I hope I'm a better girlfriend than that."
Eric chuckled. "You are, baby," he confirmed, "you are. It's just that if you had never given me the chance then it probably would have been horrible."
"So if we weren't dating," I questioned.
"I would be here by myself. Like I said, my mother cancelled on me and my sister took her daughter to see her father. Its times like these my Aunt would probably have called and asked me to stop by and have dinner with her and her 'family'," he said the last word and rolled his eyes.
"What usually happens on Christmas?"
A dark laugh left his throat leaving me a bit frightened. "Usually there's a job to pull. There's always a job," he gritted his teeth. "Then after of course she rewards her worker's efforts with debauchery or illegal substances, whichever they prefer."
"Did you ever partake in those rewards," I asked before I could stop myself.
He stared at me for a while as if calculating how gently to put it. "It's been a couple years since I've been rewarded."
I nodded and turned away from him. Eric's hand gently took my face and turned me back to look at him.
"When you're nineteen and your mother and Aunt tell you that you're a man then you do just about anything to show them that you are. I thought it was fun but in reality it wasn't. I could see the small amount of sadness in my mother's eyes when I was there. She knew that my father wouldn't have wanted that for me or my sister. But my mom couldn't really tell my Aunt 'no' especially since my Aunt took my mom in afterwards. I guess my mom felt that she owed her sister, still does. I on the other hand," he kissed my cheek, "I remember telling you that I saw the potential for a happy life when I saw you. I wouldn't trade that for anything."
"Not even all the girls or parties that your Aunt is probably rewarding her men with," I asked teasingly.
First he chuckled softly and then he shook his head as the smiled disappeared. "You forget that in order to get rewarded you have to do the job first and for my Aunt that doesn't mean cleaning the yard. I thought that may have been one reason why you were so reluctant to tell me 'yes'. Kept thinking that I had done so much bad things in my life that I didn't deserve something good, you know," he looked at me thoughtfully. "Told myself that you probably knew who I was and if I ever met another girl like you - which I doubt will ever happen - then I had better clean up my life better than I've already done."
"I never knew," I whispered. "I mean that I never knew who you were other than my cousin's nasty supervisor who kicked me out of his workplace," I smiled as Eric reached over and pulled me into his lap. I landed in a way that caused the sheet to fall some more.
"I'm never kicking you out of any place ever again," he muttered before meeting my lips in a demanding kiss.
I don't know when or how we had got back to his bedroom in the middle of our desperate kissing but Eric sat himself down on the edge of his bed and pulled me close on top of him.
"I have an intense need to watch you on top of me," Eric growled before thrusting up into me.
A whimper left my mouth as Eric settled back on the bed.
"It's all you Ana," his rough fingers massaged my hips.
My eyes were shut and all I could do was breathe for a moment before I felt my body relax. I moved slowly back and forth, just trying to get used to him being inside me. Eric's hands slowly roamed my body, igniting heat to burn all over me. It felt so damn good and I thought that Eric was enjoying himself as well by the sounds of praise I was receiving and the groans of pleasure leaving him. But when I opened my eyes and looked down, I'm not sure what made me think that he looked displeased. Maybe it was the fact that when I had tried to do this position before, that jerk of an ex groaned in frustration and not pleasure and ended up turning me around to finish the job himself.
"Eric," I shook my head, "I can't."
"You can," he muttered as his hands gripped onto my waist.
"No. I can't," I responded loudly and pulled off of him. Eric looked up at me. His eyes were full of concern and fright. "I just don't feel sexy or..."
"Sh," Eric sat up and wrapped his arms around me. My head rested on his shoulder as I felt him comfortingly run his fingers through my hair. "It's okay, baby. It's okay."
In time my body began to relax under his light touches. My moment of panic slowly subsided.
"You want to tell me what happened?" I shook my head against his chest. "How will I know what you like or don't like if you never tell me, Ana? I want to know," he gently took my face so I could look at him. "How will I know to please you if you don't open up to me? Please Ana, we need to be honest about this. I want this to work, every part of our relationship. But it won't go that way unless we honestly tell each other what's going on, how we're feeling. I promise I won't get offended or insulted, just tell me."
Taking a deep breath, I shifted in his lap and began to explain. "There was an awkward feeling to see you staring at me. I thought that I was doing something wrong or maybe I didn't look sexy," I shrugged.
"Is it the position?"
Shaking my head, I answered. "I wanted to try it. Once I did and it was a failed attempt on my part. I guess I remembered that I wasn't good at it the first time and..."
"It wasn't entirely your fault if neither of you found satisfaction in that position."
"Eric, I enjoyed it. It was why I didn't hesitate when you sat me on top of you because I liked it. But I knew that you wouldn't. And I thought that when I looked at you that that is what was happening. That I was somewhat giving my boyfriend a disappointing experience all over again."
I had felt nervous by seeing his eyes roaming all over me when I sat on top. Was he scrutinizing me? Was there a flaw that he would find? I'm sure there was.
"Let's try this position then," he suggested and started to turn me around. It was happening again and as much as I wanted to make Eric happy, he did say to be honest with him.
"No, no, no," I pushed back and shook my head. "I can't do that either, Eric."
"How would you know if you haven't tried it yet?"
"I have and I don't like it from behind," I felt like he would kick me out of his life now. "I'm sorry Eric. I just don't feel comfortable. I know you'll like it and you'll tell me that I'll like it anal but I don't! I can't..."
"Wait a minute Ana. What made you think I was talking about that?"
Confusion washed over my face. "Isn't that why you were turning me around?"
Taking my face in his hands, Eric smiled gently. "No it wasn't. You said that you feel awkward with me staring up at you, like something is wrong with you. And as much as I tell you that you are a vision to behold on top of me, I know that you won't listen. Then you mentioned how badly you wanted to try this but was scared to see disappointment on my face. I don't know about you but a few minutes ago I was anything but disappointed, Ana. And I'm sorry if there was a look that showed it but in all honesty I wasn't. You did say that you wanted to do this so badly though right?"
"I do."
"And it's because you want this not because you feel it's a requirement of our relationship or someway to prove yourself is it?"
Knowing what he was getting at, I reassured him that I wanted this. "I want to try some things. There may be times where I am frightened like now. But it just became too much at the moment," I closed my eyes and sighed.
"That's why I gestured for you to turn around Ana. We're not going to do anal, alright."
"We're not," I asked with a shocked expression. "Don't guys like that?"
"To be honest, I personally don't really enjoy it," he chuckled. "We're being honest here about our physical relationship, right?" I nodded. "I'll admit that physically it'll get me there. But at the same time it kind of feels like I'm degrading the woman I'm with when I do. I don't take any interest in her. I don't feel any emotional connection except that my body wants a release. I won't do that to you."
"Will you one day..."
"Only if you want to try it then we can."
Replying with a nod, I slowly turned my body to face away from him. Eric took me in his lap and began to slowly massage my hips. I closed my eyes and let me head rest back on his shoulder. I felt his lips touch my shoulder briefly before his other hand ran slowly down my arm.
"This way, you can still be on top but you won't have to see me," he whispered. My eyes opened and looked up to see him scanning my face. "As much as I want to see you, I'll wait until you're comfortable with this." Eric's knee nudged my legs to move to either side of him.
His hand washed my hair to the other side and I tilted my head to expose my neck. Slowly, his large hands and rough fingertips glided over the rest of my body. It was way too slow that I felt like he was trying to memorize every little curve. I felt like I was being worshiped by all the little touches, soft kisses. As his hands and lips continued to caress me I felt his need pressing against my bottom. He moved his hands down to massage my hips deeply, making me wetter than before.
"Eric," I moaned.
"Are you ready," he asked.
There was no telling where this came from but I smiled over my shoulder. "Are you," I whispered.
A chuckle and then a low growl left his mouth before he took hold of my waist. I moved my legs just a bit more so I could slide back and allowed Eric to guide me onto him. The warmth from his body left me and I heard his back hit the mattress. This was all me. My hips went with a rolling motion and then I was going up and down, taking him in and then releasing him. I opened my eyes and a part of me had hoped I could see Eric's expression.
"Keep going, baby," he let out a deep breath.
His hands gripped onto my waist as I began to quicken my pace. Before I knew it Eric had begun thrusting his hips up to meet mine and that was when my body's instincts had taken over. I began to flex a muscle that I didn't know I had and it would tighten on Eric every time I sunk down on him. There were a few ups and downs and squeezing that caused the pressure to build to a point where it was about ready to burst. And burst it did.
"Ah," I cried at the intensity of my orgasm and leaned forward about ready to fall off.
"Ana," Eric groaned and I was immediately in his arms. His chest pressed up tightly against my back. "You're so damn tight," he held my hips with one hand. "So wet and warm," he bit my neck, "and all mine."
Our bodies moved further down the bed until he was able to let our legs hang off the end. I almost felt like I didn't do good because Eric still hadn't reached his end. That was until I realized he wanted to give me one more beautiful climax.
"One more time, baby," he continued to bite and lick my skin. "One more," he encouraged.
I placed my hands on his knees and began to move my hips around in a fast circular motion. My body would lean forward and push back against him causing Eric to push forward as well. Every time he was deep in me a low growl would leave his throat and a satisfied moan would leave mine. It wasn't long before Eric pulled me back up and brought my back against his chest again. I spend up the up and down movement this time, throwing my head back onto his shoulders.
"Fuck," he cursed as one hand began to knead my breasts. He alternated between rolling it between his fingers, pinching and massaging them that I felt the warm tug deep, deep inside of me. "He was a damn fool," Eric muttered as he nipped at my neck.
Knowing who the he was that Eric was talking; I smiled and thought to myself for the first time since I had left his apartment that it was true. Cain Banner was a damn fool for making me walk out of his life and I was going to prove it - not just to him, his family or his many affairs. I was going to prove it to myself!
Feeling brazen and bold, I took one of Eric's hands that was around my midsection and placed it lower until his fingers came in contact with that one place that made my breath hitched and push myself up and down at a faster pace. Eric groaned, holding on to my shoulder tightly as his fingers began to swipe my womanhood back and forth quicker than before. Cries of pleasure from me filled the room mixed with groans of Eric's appreciation until they informed me he could no longer hold on. Both of us began chasing after our end and what a glorious end it was. My entire body sang in a way that I never thought possible.
Strong arms tightened around me and a loud curse shouted from deep within Eric's throat when I felt him finish. He continued to pump into me and I wiggled my hips drawing out every last blissful drop until neither of us could drink any more. He pulled me back with him, slowly retreating from inside of me. His mouth kissed every inch of me that he could get to until I turned around and returned the gesture.
"You held onto me," I whispered.
"I'm sorry," he looked confused.
My fingers began to trace his tattoo, the one on his chest and the one on his forearms. It had become one of my favorite things to do. "No, I," I shook my head and turned to look up at his eyes. "I liked it. I think I missed not seeing you also."
"I was yearning for contact too."
"Then why didn't you..."
Eric placed a finger on my lips. "You were nervous about it. So I'm sure some time later on we can try again and you'll know what you want and how to go about getting it," he smirked and I kissed his finger lightly. "If you remember, I told you that I wanted to see you when we made love," he ran his fingers tenderly over my face. "That's why I reached out for you. I couldn't stand to have you here, be in an intimate, passionate moment with you and not touch you or hold you," Eric stated before he proceeded to squeeze my body to his. "You're just an amazing person Ana. I can't help but want to hold you every time you're with me."
Eric had no idea what today had meant to me. It wasn't just the enjoyment of taking pleasure from each other through sex. It had been so much more. We talked without having the need to turn on the television. We snuggled after sex because he still wanted me in his arms. We laughed at childhood memories. And we shared our concerns, our dreams and our fears. There were playful moments, serious ones too. I had spent so many holidays in Dauntless either by myself or with someone whose gifts were impersonal and whose family was condescending. But here was someone who gave me a Christmas holiday - away from my family - that had warmth and love. I placed a kiss on his throat later on that night as he groaned and pulled me closer to him. I let out a small giggle which died quickly when I felt his lips press onto mine.
"Earth to Ana," Peter's hand waved in front of me. "You looked lost in thought."
Cheeks reddened, informing Peter where my thoughts had gone. "Sorry. You asked me how Christmas was," I answered shyly.
Peter smiled and lifted the beer up in a toast to me. "I'm glad to see that one of us got some action."
"Oh God," sounding exasperated, "Could you make it sound any more scandalous than you already are?"
His eyes narrowed. "Blossom told me that you decided to give Eric a chance. I was operating under the impression that it was him who spent Christmas with. Who were you with that would spark such a scandal?"
"I was with Eric on Christmas day. We went to Dillon's for a party the night before - where he did mention that the three of us need to get together soon," pointing my finger at me and Peter. "You're the one who made it sound so scandalous in saying that 'got some action'."
"Well you did, right? I hate to think that your boyfriend held out on you. Eric doesn't seem the type," he shook his head.
I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I was talking about and..."
"I know, I know," he sighed. "That's how I talk, you know that. And I don't want to think about my cousin 'making love'. It's just weird. I rather say it straight as though you were some friend of mine. It makes the situation more tolerable for me. And," he cleared his throat. His tone and expression changed slightly. It appeared to be cautious. "And I just want to talk about it casually because I don't know if you should be getting that serious about him."
There must have been shock on my face because Peter began to explain.
"Now listen Ana," he held up a finger. "When you fall, you fall hard. I don't want to see you hurt."
"Weren't you the very one who was encouraging me to..."
"I was encouraging you to get out there have some fun in your life, fuck a guy or two," he shrugged. "I didn't mean for you to go out and find another Cain."
"Eric is nothing like Cain," my voice grew loud and I looked around to see a few patrons had looked over. I swallowed a deep breath and shook my head before quieting down. "Eric is considerate and patient. He doesn't force his choices on me. He waits for me to make them on my own. His eyes don't wander to look at another girl because 'nothing is wrong with looking, Ana'," I mimicked Cain's excuse. "His mind doesn't even entertain the thought of another woman. He tells me things, simply offers up information without me having to probe for details. He doesn't hide where he is or what he's doing. He isn't afraid to call me whenever he wants or from me to call him whenever I want. I have a key to his place for crying out loud," I managed to whisper in anger. "I trust Eric. More importantly I'm finding to trust myself with him. I have two jobs, my own place and learning to handle things on my own. I'm learning to love myself and I have a boyfriend who has been there every step of the way," my eyes were nearly in tears. "I thought you'd be happy for me, Peter. After all that I been through, I was hoping that I wouldn't have to defend myself or my choices to my family."
"No," Peter took a drink of his beer casually. "You were defending your choices to yourself."
"What," I shook my head and sat up straighter.
"You were in doubt the last time I saw you. Utter and complete doubt of yourself, your choices, the possibility of being wanted, loved or God forbid," he shook his head. "Happy, you wanted to be happy and yet there was that fear in your eyes that said it would never happen again because you weren't special."
"I don't understand," I was confused and I know it showed on my face.
"You're my cousin and as family I can tell you all want that Cain Banner was a fucking idiot for what he did to you. Did your brother tell you that I pissed all over the bathroom and hallway walls when we helped move out your things? Yeah I did. Purposefully missed the toilet bowl so that fucker would end up cleaning that shit up on his own," Peter chuckled. "I could tell you all I want every single day that he is an asshole. Blossom could tell you all she wanted. Your brothers, your new friends and even your current boyfriend," he listed. "But you had to come to realize that on your own."
"I knew that he was. I even said it."
Peter shook his head. "But you still hadn't let him go. Ana," he leaned forward a bit. "You forget that Blossom and I can read people pretty well. It's something our Dad taught us to do. It's the reason why I can pick up a girl so easily or Blossom has a job working for the CIA. You were letting Cain hold you back. You had to just let it go and move on. I played the..."
My hand went up and gestured for him to be quiet. "You pretended to not approve of my relationship because you wanted me to defend it for myself," I realized.
"And you did," he held out his hands. "You even stated how very different Eric is in comparison to Cain. I saw conviction in your eyes. I see happiness. But I needed you to..."
"Say it out loud," I finished. "I needed to hear it from my own mouth, think it, feel it and believe it," I whispered.
"Do you?"
A smile spread across my face. "I do," I answered and let out a gasp of happiness. "I really do."
"Then know that I am happy for you Ana. I believe you finally found someone who cares about you, who wants to take care of you and who you care about in return. I'd piss on his stuff too if he didn't, just to let you know," he added which made me cry happy tears. "If he can get you to see how truly amazing you are then he's alright in my book. You lost yourself Ana. And what you needed wasn't a guy to put you back together himself but for him to help you put you back together."
"You're an amazing cousin," I said as Peter smiled and reached out to wipe my cheek. "And here is one of those moments when you can be sweet and not insulting."
"Although, I did go about it in an insulting manner," he answered.
"That's just how you are," I shrugged.
"Exactly, you get me. I hardly doubt that brunette over there would. She looks too whiny," he nodded towards some girl who was casually trying to throw glances his way.
I shook my head and laughed. "My cousin is definitely a flirt. You're supposed to be out having dinner with me and your friends, not picking up a girl."
"Our friends, if you haven't noticed, are taking their time in the 'bathroom'. That's code for..."
"Don't even finish that sentence," I playfully hit him.
We informed the waiter that we needed a couple minutes because the rest of our party was at the 'bathroom'. And sure enough, Myra and Edward showed up right after that, looking quite stupidly happy. I shook my head at Myra as she patted her hair and I wondered if they were just stealing a moment to themselves. I remembered that Myra had taken Edward to her parent's house for the weekend. Her parents were sort of like mine in a sense that they did not allow Edward to sleep in the same room as her, let alone kiss in front of them. Edward respected their wishes though and it was obvious that after being intimately apart they'd want to steal a small moment to be together.
"So who else is meeting us," Peter gestured to the chairs.
"Argh," a very impolite, non-girl-like growl came from behind us. Peter and I turned around to see Christina standing there with who I assumed was her boyfriend. "You told me we were meeting Edward and his friends," her eyes left Peter and went to look at the guy next to her.
"I knew if I mentioned Peter," the guy began but she put up a finger and closed her eyes. It was a move I'd seen her do at work a countless number of times before.
"Not now," she muttered and then went to sit on the other side of me. "It's nice to see you outside of work, Ana."
"It's nice to see you too," I smiled and tried to get the tension out of the room.
I would love to say that dinner was a nice affair but it wasn't. Will, Christina's boyfriend, was a pretty decent guy. He knew Eric and when I asked how that was possible he looked over to Edward.
"Our fathers knew one another well," Edward answered and then glanced over at Christina quickly.
I had remembered what Edward said about his father wanting out of the crime business when Edward was born and Eric's father had helped him. I assumed that Eric's father must have done the same thing for Will's father and it was something that Christina didn't know about. I know Myra only knew a little bit about it. Considering those two, something hit me hard that Eric had shared more information with me, possibly more information than I was supposed to know.
"So how long have you been dating Eric," asked Will.
"Um," I cleared my throat, "a little over a month." And yet the guy told me he loves me. He also shows me that he does, I smiled.
"I'm glad he," Will paused and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm glad he found someone. I think he needed to."
"Well he found someone just as needy," Peter added.
I knew he meant it as a joke. Peter and I had already established that that was just how he acted. But apparently, Christina didn't take that as a joke.
The two of them argued for a good couple minutes about the strength of a woman and the idiocy of a man. I looked over at Edward and mouthed to him that he owed me. After all I was sitting in between the two of them. Later on I found out from Myra that Edward liked hanging out with Peter almost as much as he did with Will. The only problem was that Will always - and yes it is always - brought along Christina. If she had to work then they would meet up at the Chasm just so that Will could spend time with her. The guy was whipped. But that usually meant that Christina and Peter would end up fighting with one another.
"You mind telling me what happened between you and my cousin," I asked Christina the next night at work.
She sighed heavily and threw her rag down on the table. "You're in college now so I guess you'd understand. My friend Tris and I were invited to a Christmas party by a frat. We weren't part of a sorority so at first Tris was skeptical. I mean the only girls who this frat does invite are girls who, well you know," she rolled her eyes. "Peter belonged to the frat. He noticed Tris was having problems with a guy we knew named Al. Anyways he got Tris out of there when I was busy making out with some other guy. I realized that she was in trouble a bit too late and when I tried to get out of the house, the guy I was with said I had to pay up for all the damage that Tris and I caused. I was a bit too tipsy to fight back."
"Oh my God," I whispered in shock.
"Nothing happened because," she paused and I could see how annoyed she was. "Tris sent Peter back for me and when he saw how indisposed I was well he told the guy that there was another girl willing inside his room. They were still pissed and wanted to teach me a lesson. So they told Peter to handle me," she said softly.
"My cousin would never..."
"Your cousin took me back to his room but not for what you think happened. I screamed for help to make it believable," her eyes became watery. "I can be a very convincing actress. Peter even made some lewd comments afterwards. They all laughed," she shook her head. I gulped and looked away. "Anyways a few weeks later, Peter told me the only reason why he did it was because he was in love with my friend. Don't get me wrong, I love Tris it's just that I thought he wanted to save me and not her. I thought he was some hero after the frat party and when it turned out he didn't have my best interests in heart, I hated him."
"So he saved you but not because..."
"Not because he wanted to do something nice for me or protect me. It was only because I was Tris's friend and he was in love with her," she complained. "Anyways we never talked about that night or the fact that I tried to get him to sleep with me because I wanted something that belonged to my best friend. Mind you they weren't dating or anything like that but guys never did like Tris in high school. It had always been me that they chased after and I hated that this one guy who I thought protected me..."
"Only did it for your best friend and not you," I answered. "I get it. In some twisted way, I get it."
"I know I was being selfish but it was a weird feeling. It was actually the first time something like that happened and I didn't know how to behave. I never told Tris about that night or about my actions to get Peter," she shook her head. "It just unnerved me to think that the guy who I thought was a hero had false intentions. Anyways Peter later told Tris how he felt about her but as you know that didn't go too well because your cousin is an idiot."
"I'll admit that he does have a weird way of showing women he's interested in them. His mistake I think was treating Tris as he does the same with other women, including that brunette from the restaurant."
Christina squealed and grabbed my arm. "I told Will that they were checking one another out so he should save the poor girl but he told me that I was just seeing things. Did he really pick up a girl while he was supposed to be spending time with you?"
"Yeah he did," I waved my hand in the air. "My ex used to do that all the time."
"No wonder he's your ex. Men, I tell you," she rolled her eyes.
"Yeah he was a jerk but that doesn't matter anymore. I'm," I paused and realized that what Peter had said was right. I had been letting Cain hold me back for so long that I would see him everywhere in my life despite the fact that he was no longer in it. I even held back from my own happiness, convinced that my chance at it had left when I left Cain. "I'm happy," I whispered as my lips twitched into a small smile.
"Well good for you," she nudged me. "Now let's get out there. I heard there's someone asking for you on table ten."
"Thanks," I tied my hair up in a ponytail and smoothed down my skirt.
I stopped by the bar to make sure that one of the bartenders there had cut off my customer. The night was still early but I felt that he had his fill for the evening as it was. Hec would often call for a cab or an Uber driver if they had to leave the bar and I informed him that this guy might need one.
Leaving the bar I turned around to see who was waiting at table ten and immediately dropped my serving platter. My feet froze in place as Mr. Marcus lifted his glass in a mock gesture at me. I was unaware of Christina and Hec along with another bus boy coming to help clean up the mess I had spilled until a hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me towards the back.
"No," I tried to yank my arm back.
"Ana, it's me," Hec whispered as I shook my head and tried to control my breathing. "Come on," he urged me to follow him.
Hana had come out from the back and immediately snapped her fingers at someone in the corner. From the back employee room we watched the security camera as three men came and escorted Mr. Marcus out of the restaurant and then away from the building.
"You okay," Hec's hand rubbed my back.
"When did he get out?"
"I don't know, Ana."
"Out Mr. Rodriguez," Hana walked into the back room. Hec left immediately but gave me a quick smile at the door. "He's not supposed to have contact with you. That was one of the stipulations of his early release."
"You knew he was being released? I would think that I was entitled to know that someone who attempted to kidnap me would be freely walking the streets," I stood up from the chair. "I understand that you may be working here as a cover and there will be secrets but this should not have been one of them."
"We couldn't keep him in. Especially since you're dating Eric Coulter," she remained hard pressed.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Sit down, Miss Summers," she replied. Hana waited for me to sit and then placed one leg over the other and smoothed her hands down on her pants. "Jeanine Matthews and Marcus Eaton are two opposing families. They are both corrupt individuals. They fund money to the right organizations to buy their silence so nothing can be proved against either of them by the law."
"I've heard this all before."
"Yes I'm sure you have," she noted. "Considering how powerful both of them are it came to no surprise that Marcus Eaton was able to get a good lawyer who argued that your supposed attack along with the obsessed idea of being stalked was concocted by a woman who is a relationship with the nephew of his rival."
"They're saying that I made it up," I questioned, "that I did all those things to benefit Eric's Aunt who I've never met. Captain or Commissioner - whatever your title is - I have not even met Eric's mother. We've been trying to get a dinner with her but she keeps cancelling on us. Why would I lie about what happened in order to protect two women that I have not been introduced to?"
"For the love of your boyfriend," she titled her head. "Believe me; Eaton's lawyer had a very convincing argument. And its Director Pedrad," she corrected. "Despite the fact that I had testified on the evidence found at Eric's office as well as your apartment or the statements presented by two of DPD's best police officers who were there after one of the attempted kidnaps, they chocked this up to a woman simply protecting her man's family. Now even though I know that this could be false..."
"It is false," I responded quickly.
"Then I'll ask if Eric would ever ask you to do something like this," she pointed, "lie for his family."
"He never has," I shook my head. "I know he wouldn't either. Eric is doing his best to stay away from that and from what I've seen he hasn't been involved with his Aunt or Mr. Marcus for a long time now."
"He's been clean for the past two or three years it seems," Hana commented. "So has Marcus's son," she looked towards a file and I'm sure that it had information on both Eric and Tobias. "For the past seven years Marcus has been making a bit more profit than Jeanine. She lacks something that she had and I'm assuming that it was her nephew. Whatever he did for her, he was good at it. Word is that she's planning something big, has she let her nephew know any of this information?"
I shook my head.
"Are you telling me the truth, Miss Summers?"
Brandon and Owen had tried to get me to influence Eric to return. Did they know that there was something big happening? Was something happening and that is why Eric was wanted back? Maybe Eric did know and he didn't tell me yet. Regardless of whether he didn't tell me or not, I knew that without a doubt I could trust him. I'd wait until he was ready to tell me.
"I am certain," I answered. "However, may I remind you that Eric left this situation in your hands, in the law, in the justice system that I thought stood for something," I began as she narrowed her eyes at me. "I do not mean to make you an enemy of mine nor do I intend to go against Eric's wishes. But be assured that Eric will find out that you could not detain Mr. Marcus and that you allowed him to enter this establishment, putting me in danger. Eric has been willing to cooperate with you but I'm not so sure that will happen once he gets wind of that or," I stood up, "of the fact that you tried to make me your informant on his family."
"Are those threats, Miss Summer?"
"No," I shook my head. "I'm simply letting you know that you may have broken your trust in Eric and there went your chance in him coming to you when it's time to turn in his Aunt or Mr. Marcus."
"I do not need Eric to get my job done for me."
"I beg to differ. I think you need him more than you let on," I walked towards the door. "Thank you for your help with Mr. Marcus, Director Pedrad. He won't be coming into the building anytime in the future, you'll see to that right?"
Work had been a blur and I tried to calm my nerves. A couple police officers had showed up and 'looked around' to make sure that there was nothing else suspicious. But I had a feeling that they were watching me more so than they were watching for something dangerous to start up again. Things had only become clearer when Eric showed up. There was a car following him and he pointed it out to me when I got into his car.
"Director Pedrad asked me if it's possible that I lied about my attack so as to get Mr. Marcus in trouble in order to help your Aunt out."
Eric stopped the car and glanced at me. Someone honked behind us and Eric put the car back into drive and found an entrance onto the freeway. It wasn't the direction we were supposed to be going but I had a feeling that wasn't his intention.
"There are cameras all over the City. They could pick up anything. At least this way we'll only have to worry about that car in the back," Eric stated, confirming my suspicions. "Why would she ask you that?"
"Marcus Eaton is out of prison," I replied simply and Eric's hands tightened on the wheel. His knuckles turned white until he flexed and shook his hands off. "Apparently that is what his lawyer had argued and it was such a convincing story that the police even believed it. He showed up at the Chasm. I almost walked up to his table. And then Director Pedrad had some undercover officers take him out of the building. She talked with me in the back and told me what his lawyers had mentioned, that I would say anything to protect you or your Aunt."
"They were there. They saw..."
"I know Eric," I closed my eyes.
"I'd never ask you to do that. You know that right?"
"Of course," I answered.
"I wouldn't bring you to defend my Aunt or make up some story like that. I don't even want you involved with them," he shook his head. "Once my Aunt gets you, she gets you. It took my sister a long time to get out, longer than me. I wouldn't put you through that. I wouldn't ask you to lie to cover..."
"I know," I reached for his hand and he took hold of it quickly.
"Stay with me tonight," he brought my hand to his lips and press a gentle kiss to it.
I nodded and then let out a small giggle. "I think I'm forgetting how my apartment looks like," I joked causing him to chuckle.
Upon arriving at his apartment, we took a shower together and then cuddled up on the couch as we drank some of the whiskey and ate whatever snacks were there in his house while watching one of the movies in our collection. We were just about to fall off to sleep when Eric told me that his Aunt had come up with something like a serum to control people. I moved in his lap to face him.
Eric cleared his throat. "She needs something to finish the project. It's still in its testing stages."
"That's why she needs you back," I whispered.
His eyes locked with mine. "My mother can only help her so much. But what she needs is something that my father had. It doesn't matter though," he looked away and took my hand in his. "I'm not giving it to her. I was going to tell you about her project once things became stable for the two of us. I didn't want to frighten you off."
"I have to tell you something too Eric," my hands rest on his shoulders. "Brandon and Owen asked me to convince you to go back." A slight growl left his throat and I shifted a bit. "They must know how badly your Aunt wants you too. But I won't ask that of you. I know you don't want to be there."
"I bet they tried to make me sound incapable of keeping you safe," he shook his head in disgust. "More than likely that's why Director Pedrad allowed Marcus to be at the Chasm. They can't touch him and she wanted to see your reaction," he motioned for me to get up. We walked hand in hand towards the bedroom that he had given me to sleep in upon my first nights that I had stayed here. "I want you to have this," he grabbed a box and pulled out a gun.
"Eric," I took a step back but he held onto my hand.
"It's light and can be kept on you or in your bag. I can get you a license to carry it. We'll go about you legally having this so that nothing goes wrong with the cops."
"Eric..."
"Please Ana," he whispered.
"I've never," I shook my head. "My father had a rifle for hunting and so did my brother Jack but I never did touch it. I wouldn't know what to do."
"I'll take you to a shooting range. I'll show you how to protect yourself. We'll train a bit harder at the gym or in the one here at my apartment. With Marcus out and about and the cops not able to do anything, my trust in them has been misplaced. That leaves me three options. One would be for us to end this and that is not happening. Two, we go to my Aunt like Brandon and Owen suggested and they offer their protection but we'd never leave and that life is not what I want you to have. So that leaves number three."
"For us to watch out for each other," I finished for him.
Eric nodded. "Exactly. We can do this Ana. I can do this for you, for us."
"I'm only now realizing how much you'll do and go through for me," I reached up and touched his face. "I think I'm falling for you, Eric."
"Thank God, because I've already fallen for you," he smiled before leaning down and kissing me.
And it was true that I was falling. It was dangerous to be with Eric. His family hadn't met me yet. They would only protect me if Eric came back into their welcoming arms and assisted them in some malicious, demented project. The police questioned my attack. They were dismissing it as though it never happened. Something told me that Mr. Marcus definitely knew the right type of people to get him out. I don't know why out of all the girls he could stalk that it had to be me. Regardless of all that, Eric refused to give me up or allow me to give up. We'd stand together against his family, the police, Mr. Marcus and those irritating text messages. I wasn't going to be abandoned by him.