Chapter 23

The flight and the drive to Harrogate were uneventful and all too soon they were parked outside Kate's house. Spurred on by Meg's admonition Caroline had tentatively started to show more interest in Kate but she felt she needed to take it slowly rather than jump feet first into big questions. This was alien territory for her and she knew that her skills needed to be honed if she didn't want to come across as the Spanish inquisition. She was now aware she had compartmentalised Kate's life and had not wondered about her outside the two boxes of school and their relationship, how she judged a man might behave, and she didn't want to alarm Kate by too radical a change. She criticised herself on that too, as she knew this was more an intellectual exercise than an adjustment in her character, for now at least.

What was discussed freely on the journey home was the weekend itself and both agreed that, all in all, it had been a wonderful time. Any negatives such as the hiccup about the booking of the hotel rooms had long since been forgiven and they were reluctant to part.

'Are you sure you won't come in?' Kate unashamedly caressed the back of Caroline's hand where it rested on the gear stick.

'If I do, I won't want to leave, and I really ought to pick Lawrence up. He'll use it against me in the future if I allow him to be out late when it suits me! Seeing you one evening in the week would be good, though. I'm still intent on telling my mother and the boys about us next weekend and I could do with running some things by you beforehand.'

'Your call and it will be a long wait, but I'm happy to stick to our normal Thursday.'

'Let's do that but I'll hope to catch you at school too.'

With a hug and a brief kiss, they parted. Caroline drove slowly, re-absorbing the lessons learned as well as recollecting the enjoyment and freedom of the past forty-eight hours. She sensed that they had moved considerably closer together by being away from other distractions and responsibilities. While she was trying not to make assumptions, her imagination identified potential positive benefits once their relationship was out in the open, particularly spending more time together and not having to make excuses to do so. She hoped for other life-changing developments too and wondered if she would be brave enough to voice them to Kate.

She called to collect Lawrence but knowing that it would have been impolite to rush off, she spent a short while with Angus' parents and gave them a bottle of wine from Severine and Meg's estate. This led on to a discussion about the vineyard and Angus' dad, who liked to think of himself as a wine aficionado, asked her to let them have its details so that they could look at renting one of the estate's cottages in the summer. She didn't mention that she might be likely to do the same and made a mental note to find out from Meg if, and when, Angus' family booked before she made any such plans. Although Lawrence might approve, the last thing that she needed was to go on holiday with Kate under the scrutiny of one of their pupils and his parents, however kind and engaging they might be.

Fortunately for Caroline when she arrived home her mother was anxious to get back to her flat and she wasn't subject to the expected third degree. Having ascertained that her daughter's journey home had gone well, Celia kissed her goodnight and rushed off. Caroline thought it strange but knowing that her mother liked to watch certain TV programmes at the time of their broadcast, so the following day's edition of the Daily Mail did not spoil the plot for her, she assumed this was one of those times. Caroline spent a relaxed hour with the boys, catching up on their weekend and sharing some of the highlights of hers, before sending them off to the shower and bed and following soon afterwards.

'Hello you. Miss you already.' She texted to Kate once she knew that they boys had settled and turned their lights off.

'Ditto. Everything ok at home?'

'Yes fine. Shall I ring instead of exchanging texts?'

'I've just come off the phone to my mum. Give me five minutes to get myself into bed and I'm all yours.'

ooOoo

Meanwhile, back in her flat, Celia had been quick to turn on her laptop to check if Alan had made contact while she had been in the main house. While William knew about Alan, she didn't intend for him to be party to the messages that they exchanged, which is why the laptop had stayed at the flat. She knew that if she had taken it with her she would have found it difficult to resist the pull of checking for messages. Alan had not disappointed.

'Dear Celia

How amazing to find you on Facebook. I would like to hear how the years have treated you – well, I hope. Do you have family?

I'm a widower and enjoy living with my daughter and her son Raff. Gillian is a sheep farmer so our home is a farmhouse, in the hills overlooking Halifax. The wind fair whistles through the eaves and window frames when it's in the right direction, I can tell you! I'm retired, having worked for Jessops since we left school. Do you wonder where the years have gone? I do.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,

Alan (Buttershaw)'

Sensing the cheeky, kind, polite boy that she knew in the words of the man, she smiled. Whatever cards life had dealt him, his character didn't seem any different from the one she remembered with so much fondness. She beamed at learning he was a widower, and then felt slightly guilty and wiped the smile from her face. Celia did not want to appear too eager and decided to wait until the morning before replying, aware that her imagination was beginning to run away with her.

'Don't be daft,' she thought while she closed the computer but sixty years of 'what-ifs' were not so easily shut down and sleep eluded her for most of the night.

ooOoo

The school had one of those weeks when Caroline did not stop working from the minute she arrived to when she left but would struggle to explain what she had done in the time, should anyone ask her, and she started again in the evenings when the boys drifted off to their bedrooms. Her mother had spent very little time with them and by the Wednesday evening Caroline became concerned enough to leave her work until she had checked all was well.

'Boys! I'm just going next door to see if your Gran's ok, should you want me for anything.'

Celia was in her living room with her laptop perched on her knee, but she shut the lid as soon as she noticed her daughter through the glass door.

'Oh, hello, love. Have you finished that paperwork? You do too much, you know, with home and school. John wasn't much use, but he would at least take some of the pressure off you at mealtimes. Shall I make you a cuppa?'

'I'm getting there, mum. He might have taken some pressure off at mealtimes, but he would pile it on at others. At least I don't have his dirty laundry to worry about! No tea for me, thank you. There's a glass of wine with my name on that I'm going to have when I get back. How are you, anyway?'

'Me? I'm fine, love.'

'Just wondered as we haven't seen much of you. Getting the hang of your laptop, I see.'

Celia looked at the computer as if it had magically appeared in front of her. She got up from her chair and placed the laptop on the table before returning to her seat.

'Oh, that. Yes, I think so. William has set it up nicely. It's marvellous what you can look at on that Goggle. Did you know you can go into this Tube thingy where they have old songs and bits of films? And Amazon! They sell things that I didn't even know were invented.'

Caroline lowered her chin and pretended to cough, to hide her smirk.

'Yes, I did know. I hope you've got protection against viruses if you're using the internet.'

'William assured me that it's safe. I think it was included in the package when I bought it. Anyway, how was the wedding? You haven't mentioned it. Any photos to show me?'

'The wedding was lovely although the ceremony was dreadfully boring.'

'That's the French for you, Caroline. People moan about the English, but French bureaucracy is second to none.'

'You might be right about that, mum, but their food made up for it. It was a lovely break for me. I think I needed that after all that's happened in the last six months.'

'But, no photos?'

'I've a couple on my phone but it's next door so I'll show you when we go out on Saturday if I don't have time before. William wants to come with us. No, that's not true. He SAYS he wants to come with us, I should say. I'm not sure that he does, to be honest, but he wants an excuse not to go out with his dad.'

'Does he need one?'

'Not in my opinion or yours but you know William, doesn't like to leave himself open to challenge or criticism.'

'Well, I won't keep you. I know you've a pile of work to go back to. I assume you're trying to get ahead so you're free for Pilates tomorrow evening. Mind you, I'm amazed you're still going to that. I didn't think it was your cup of tea.'

'Marching orders received and understood! Yes, I'm out tomorrow. Night, mum.'

She kissed the top of her mum's head and headed back home. Celia hadn't been fooled. She knew her daughter never went anywhere without her mobile, which a quick glance confirmed as being in the back pocket of her jeans. She also noticed that Caroline hadn't confirmed about doing Pilates, only that she was going out the following evening. As Celia restarted her laptop it made her feel better that she wasn't the only one with a secret. Now exchanging messages with Alan several times each day she read his last one before she set about composing something witty and interesting in reply.

ooOoo

The welcoming hug on Kate's doorstep was strong, long and meaningful, neither Caroline nor Kate wanting to let go. It had seemed an interminable four days, with the occasional fifteen minutes of conversation grabbed here and there in front of pupils and other staff totally insufficient to satiate their longing for physical contact. Eventually they separated but only until they migrated to the sofa where the kissing and touching continued for some time, although oddly neither woman made any attempt to take things further.

'Gosh, I've missed you so much. Forty-eight hours with you and then practically nothing. Feast and famine.' Kate griped as their lips separated for a moment.

'I'm here now.' Caroline murmured. She stroked Kate's face, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Their eyes met, and their mouths grinned, both flushed and breathing hard.

'When you said about coming here tonight you said you wanted to check something with me before you talked to your family about us. What's up?' Kate didn't take her eyes off her lover, looking out for anything that might indicate a need to worry.

'Nothing's up. At least, I hope not. It's just that, um, you know we think a lot about each other.'

'I'm not agreeing with you if you're going to reduce its size and importance to little more than friendship when it's so very much more.' Kate interrupted gently and boldly, before bringing Caroline's hand to her mouth for her kiss.

'The thing is, Kate, I've done a lot of assumption about you and us and I wanted to get it straight in my head before I talked to the boys and my mother. I didn't want to talk about you, about us, as something that we're not; something that you would be uncomfortable with. After all, you'll see the boys daily even if you don't meet my mother.'

'Yet. If I don't meet her yet.'

'Yes, yet. That's not going to be a comfortable ride, Kate. She won't welcome you. There's no doubt on that score. But, I thought, the more I could be confident myself that we're planning long term, the more I could put up with from her. Also, with the boys; I don't want them to think that this is casual because it's not, for me. I don't do casual. I know what we think about each other now but don't know if we are on the same page about where it might end.'

'There are a number of steps between casual and commitment. You mentioned planning long-term.'

Caroline couldn't help but notice the frown lines that furrowed Kate's brow.

'Sorry, I've assumed too much, again. Meg told me off for doing that.'

Kate laughed and snuggled into Caroline's neck, to the latter's relief.

'What's so funny?'

'That morning in France, when Caz was showing me around the vineyard, we saw you and Meg talking and Caz said she could pick up her mum's chastising body language even from across the field. While Meg was obviously telling you your fortune, I was sharing something with Caz that she told me I needed to tell you. That's what's funny. Like mother, like daughter, eh?'

'So it would seem. What is it that you need to tell me?'

Kate prised herself away from Caroline again so that she could see her facial reaction to the bombshell that she was about to drop.

'This is hard, and I understand you'll need time to take in what I'm saying because I'm expecting you to be upset. I'm serious about us. Nothing I'm going to say alters that. Cards on the table, I'd probably marry you tomorrow if it was legal and you were free. Yes, that committed. But there's something very serious you need to know first.'

'God, you're scaring me now, Kate. You're not ill, are you? It sounds as if you're ill.' Caroline sensed her heart rate quicken and she felt nauseous.

'Not ill, no, but it is a medical issue, of sorts.' Kate took a deep breath as her dark-brown eyes stared determinedly into blue. 'I'm nearly 42 and I've never given up hope of having a baby. I want a baby, Caroline. If we're going to share a future, you need to know that I want to try for a baby.'