Chapter 21: Engaged
Releasing a deep breath, I turned away from Eric and looked out the window. I heard Eric sigh also and turn to look at the front of the plane. We were on our way to Amity for my brother's wedding. Eve and Jess were sitting in the seats in front of us. I noticed Jess glance back to look at the two of us quickly before shifting towards Eve who was excitedly staring out the window, asking about all the things she heard about Amity. Jess knew what we were arguing about. Then again, Eric and I weren't really arguing on the airplane. We just hadn't talked, as in truly talked. Things were nice - I guess you could say that much, for my lack of description on mine and Eric's relationship at the moment. And there was a definite welcomed distraction - when Jess and Eve arrived at the terminal. Why a welcomed distraction?
"What do you mean he asked you to marry him," Jess exclaimed as she and I were getting a coffee at one of the airport shops.
"I mean your brother actually said: Marry me, Ana," I replied.
"I still don't understand why that is the reason for the tension I saw back there," she gestured to where she had met me and Eric.
"I didn't answer him," I said softly.
Jess touched my arm and stopped walking. I turned to see her with a dumb-founded look. "Come again?"
I opened my mouth but Jess pulled me towards a table. We sat there instead of heading back to where Eric and Eve were sitting. She stirred the cream and sugar into her coffee as she sighed heavily, pressing her lips together. I could tell that she was a little frustrated, wondering why I had not told her brother anything.
"It's not like I said 'no'," was my innocent reply.
Her hand almost slapped the table we were at and she stared heavily at me. "That might as well have been your answer if you didn't reply to my brother, Ana Summers," she sassed. It was hard to miss the rolling of her eyes before she sipped her coffee. "Was it the proposal?"
"Excuse me," I looked up.
"The proposal," she repeated, "is it because it wasn't romantic or because there was no large, shiny ring - because I'm pretty sure that you're not the type of girl to care about how expensive or huge the ring is."
"I don't," my shoulders shrugged.
"Then why didn't you answer him, Ana? Is it because you've only been dating for six months? Is it too soon for you?"
"I don't believe that that is it."
"You don't believe that that is it," Jessica shook her head and looked back over to where Eric was reading something to Eve. "I told you that he invested so much into being with you. I told you that he was committed," she looked back at me before sighing and moving her eyes to look up at the ceiling. I saw that they were watery - reflecting my own eyes when Eric and I had argued about my 'non-answer'. "You assured me that you were in it for the long haul, that you chose him," she wiped the edges of her eyes before drinking another sip of her coffee, "my baby brother."
"We're still together, I mean..."
I paused when her head turned to stare daggers at me. That was the expression they had in mind whenever they said the phrase: 'if looks could kill'. Jessica continued to drink her coffee, every now and then I would sip mine. But I suddenly felt no need to - in fact, I felt truly wide awake. I was on edge and that was merely from being in Jess's presence - her angry presence.
"I love your brother, Jess. I really do," I spoke up after some time.
"Is there a reason why you're not giving him an answer?"
"I don't know if he told you about the text messages and the pictures and the insecurities that I have, Jess."
"Everyone has insecurities, Ana."
"My ex cheated on me with anything that walked and I was oblivious to it all - he always had some excuse. He was working late. He was at a friend's house. He had to pick up his sister. He had to do something for his father. There were people in my family that didn't really get along with him and yet he had an excuse for that as well. My cousin was just jealous of our relationship," I explained. "My brothers were irritating, they did things on purpose. My friends were trying to tear us apart. My job was getting in the way of us being together."
Jess snorted and shook her head.
"He made me think I wasn't beautiful or that I wasn't sexy enough. He often critiqued me and I thought that it was just his way of getting me to be a better person. I know it's not much considering what other women go through. But my ex was my first love - the one I thought I was going to be with forever."
"Why? Were you engaged to him or something," she rolled her eyes.
"As a matter of fact, I was," I answered.
The coffee sputtered in her mouth and a small drop trickled down from her mouth, before she hurried for a napkin and began to wipe it up. She looked at Eric and then back at me. "Does my brother know that you were engaged before?"
"I," I couldn't answer that, I thought as I looked away.
"You didn't tell him that you were engaged?!"
It was practically a screech that came out of her mouth. I wondered if Eric could hear her but once glance in their direction told me that they hadn't. A few people around us turned to look before continuing.
"I told him that I had an unfaithful ex," I shrugged, "I didn't think that telling him I was engaged meant anything..."
"Wait," Jess reached out and placed a hand on top of mine, "you're from Amity. The only reason why you moved to Dauntless was because your ex wanted to move here, am I right?" I nodded. "Shit, Ana! You have to tell my brother that sort of thing!"
"I don't understand what's the big deal."
Her posture was no longer defensive as she leaned back in her chair and shook her head. She folded her arms across her chest and stared back at me. "You're scared - not of being with a guy - but of being in a committed relationship again."
"No, I'm not. I want commitment. I want..."
She held up her hand, causing me to stop. "Ana, if you found out your ex-boyfriend was cheating on you, chances are you wouldn't have moved with him away from your family and you wouldn't have agreed to become this man's wife 'til death do you part," she responded. "This is a fiancé, a man - as you just said - that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. You gave up your family and everything you knew to follow him and he repaid you by shattering your dreams. You need to tell my brother right away, that your ex wasn't just some boyfriend, he was your fiancé. And believe me," she picked up her coffee, "you best tell him before someone else does."
And now that Eric and I were back sitting together on the plane brought the mild tension in once again. Eric held up his arm, palm open towards me. It was a small invitation and I took it. Our fingers intertwined and he lifted our joined hands to press a kiss to the back of my hand.
"We'll be landing in Amity International Airport in half hour," the Pilot began, "please take your seats if you haven't already done so..."
"Ana, I," Eric began as I turned to listen to him instead. He swallowed and shook his head, the pain written in his features. "I think that after this trip we should have a serious talk about our relationship and what you really want from this. Because I..."
"Eric," I shifted closer, moving the armrest up and leaning my head against his shoulder. Eric moved and pressed his lips to my hair, nuzzling it with his nose after. "I'm just scared."
"Is it because of the pictures, because we went over this," he replied.
"It's not just that..."
"Then what, Ana," he said softly. "I want this to work but only if you're going to meet me halfway."
Once again when we were in Amity, Eric and I separated from one another. He went to Eve and I stuck by Jess - although staying by Jess wasn't the best option either since she wasn't in the receiving mood. After getting the SUV from the rental car agency we were on our way to my parent's house. I had called my parents only to have my brother Jonathan answer the phone. Everyone wasn't home at the moment but he assured me that once we arrived, they would be there to meet us.
I explained to Eric how to get there - the only conversation that he and I had on the one hour ride from the airport. Eve would ask something about a road, hill, valley or town we were passing. And of course, the ever-popular question - are we there yet - came up a few times. It was right when we reached the top of the road that led to my parent's house that I made Eric stop the car. Everyone got out of the car and I knelt by Eve to point out the house.
Home, I smiled as my hand dropped slowly as Eve's smile widened.
"I see a tree-house, mom," Eve cheered, jumping up and down by her mother.
I stood up and turned towards the right. "Down this road is where my brother built his house," I mentioned, "he and his wife will be moving there in a couple days - if she hasn't moved her things there yet," I tilted my head as I noticed that there were no cars on the road leading to my brother's house.
"Is it a big house," Eve turned to me.
Scrunching my nose, I shrugged my shoulders. "I haven't been here in almost two years, Eve. The last time I saw it, it looked like the little pig's house that was made from sticks," I smiled as she giggled before reaching for her mother's arms.
"Your parents own all of this land," Jess asked.
"They do," I answered with a soft sigh.
"How did your father come by it?"
"It belonged to my grandfather," I nodded. "And his father before him," I let out a small laugh. "We're one of those families that have been here for decades, centuries probably. Anyway, my grandfather gave one third of everything to my dad and the remaining two thirds to my Aunts. But one of my Aunts sold their portion," I glanced at Eric, "and she moved to Erudite. My grandfather still lives here," I moved them to look at a nearby field. "That road leads to where he is. He has another house there that my Aunt will be staying with Dillon and Lauren," I said as Eric nodded in understanding. "But there's little to no wi-fi, internet or cable service - just like how my grandfather likes it - so if you are planning on making Dillon do any work..."
Eric chuckled and wrapped his arm around me. "No, this trip is a relaxing one," he leaned down to kiss me but hesitated a second.
When our lips did meet, it was a quick and soft kiss. I instantly felt guilty but didn't mention it. I leaned against his body and stayed there, letting him know that I missed us just as much as he did.
"It seems pretty quiet," Eve mentioned.
I smiled and turned to see her with a confused expression on her face. "A lot of the family isn't here yet. But trust me," I started to laugh, "it's going to get pretty loud and crazy."
"I love this view," Jess smiled and looked over at me. "Everything is so peaceful and beautiful here. Why did your Aunt sell her lot? I don't know why anyone would ever want to leave it."
"She went away for college," I shrugged, "which caused a stir in our community because women rarely left town to go college. Then after she left, my other Aunt did the same. Those Summers girls - people would say," I laughed, "I guess my mother was hoping that I would break the mold and stay back home."
"But your home is with Uncle Eric now," Eve responded - her confused expression still on her face.
That is when it hit me, that to a child it was obvious that Eric and I were together - living together, in a relationship together. That was how she saw things, how things should be. Eric's arm squeezed my body tighter and I looked up to see him staring down at me.
"You're right, Eve. It is," I added before kissing Eric's cheek. "Now why don't we hurry, so you can meet my family?" Eve clapped, shimmied in her mother's arms so she could go down and back into the car.
The drive there was slower than usual and I couldn't help but have a multitude of memories bombard me as we took the final turn into my childhood home. The yard in the front was just as big as I remembered it being. I could picture my brothers and I running around in the front. I could see the swing and tree-house from where the car drove in and another flood of memories came to mind - my brother Jack and Hannah taking their prom pictures in front of that tree; Jensen, Jordan and I falling from that tree and dislocating a shoulder, elbow or knee; Jonathan and Jack giving Jordan his first beer which caused him to fall from that tree; Joshua pooping all over that place because he loved to run around without a diaper on - causing me to break out in hysterical laughter.
"Everything alright," Eric smiled over at me.
I shook my head, still smiling. "Just remembering all the idiotic things my brothers did."
"Not you," Jess teased.
"Oh no, I was an angel," I said as everyone laughed in the car.
Eric parked by my father's truck which was by Jack's jeep and a brand-new SUV. I got out of the car and stared at the SUV, wondering where it came from and who it belonged to. A laugh caught my attention and I turned to see my brother Jonathan, standing a few feet away. He was already sporting that grin that reminded me so much of our father. He was dressed casually - which was an odd contrast to how serious he could be. I had to glance at him a few times to make sure I was seeing things right. He looked like a young version of our dad.
"Hey JoyAnna," he said, smile widening when he noticed my shocked expression.
I ran towards him, throwing my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I laughed as he spun me around - something he rarely did since I was a little girl. He settled me on my feet and pushed me back a little.
"You look really good," he said quietly, "you look happy."
"I am," I blushed and looked down to my feet.
"I would ask if you got lost but I saw you stopped out there," he gestured with his head over the hill, "I knew you probably went down to grandma's river."
"I did," I nodded, "made Eric stop the car so I could show them everything from the top of the hill."
It was then that Jonathan looked past me, his smile dropping before he shook his head and looked back at me. "You and I are going to have a serious talk about you dating guys who end up being my boss."
"What are you talking about?"
Jonathan didn't answer the question, instead he took my hand and led me over there, "introduce me?"
I nodded and waited for Eric to put the bags down. "Eric, this is my oldest brother Jonathan. Jonathan, this is my boyfriend Eric."
"It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. Coulter," Jonathan held out his other hand and I wondered why he had labelled him as that.
Eric smiled and returned the gesture. "Eric is fine, after all we're not working this week," he replied casually. "I had been hoping to meet you when you got rehired but decided to wait until," Eric glanced at me, "Ana was ready to introduce me to family."
"Okay, what are you two talking about," I questioned, looking between my brother and Eric.
"The company that we brought out in Erudite had your brother on payroll," Eric answered with a small nod to my brother. "As I was saying the company let go a lot of its previous workers who had knowledge of their field and excellent work ethic. We brought a lot of them back to keep the company running, help boost morale."
Jonathan smiled at the praise and nodded.
"Wait, you didn't tell me that you got re-hired," I put my hand on his arm, "or perhaps you did and I just..."
Jonathan kissed my forehead - another gesture he hadn't done since I was a little girl. "I don't believe I mentioned it to you but maybe Dad might have. I was with him when I got the call," he gestured to Eric. "I wanted to tell you in person," he took my hand. "But I'm going to be moving back to Erudite and your boyfriend here," he smiled at Eric, "helped me and a few others who lost their homes get it all back. I always wanted to thank you for that but they said you were always busy, meeting with realtors and banks, getting things situated - not just for me but a few others, those who had families. I really appreciate it, they appreciate it."
"Well, as mentioned, there were a lot of good workers they let go and we couldn't understand why. FEI just wanted to help those who helped the company," Eric had a small smile before turning towards me.
"That's why you've been going up there every other weekend. It isn't just for the company, it's for the workers too," I stated, realizing now just how much Eric had been doing. Yes, he deserved that promotion.
"We should take care of our workers. It keeps the good ones around," Eric shook my brother's hand again.
A throat cleared behind Eric. I knew immediately that it was Eve. She stood there, arms folded across her chest and staring up at us with an expectant look on her face.
"And now you'll meet my boss," Eric teased as Eve walked forward to stand by me.
"Jonathan, this is Eve. She's Eric's niece. Eve, this is my oldest brother, Jonathan," I placed my hands on her shoulders as she lifted her hand.
"Pleased to meet you," she smiled at him.
"I'm pleased to meet you, too," he shook her hand and chuckled.
"And this is my older sister," Eric called for Jess to come by him. "Jessica, this is Ana's oldest brother, Jonathan."
"What is it with the oldest brother crap," Jonathan chuckled and held out his hand for Jess to shake.
"It's okay," Jess smiled, shaking his hand. "Did you not hear the older sister crap Eric just spewed?"
"Younger siblings," Jonathan shook his head.
"I know right," Jess replied before they both started laughing.
"Okay," I touched Jonathan's arm again. "Who are you and what did you do with my brother Jonathan?" Jonathan furrowed his eyebrows at me. "Seriously, it's like you're more relaxed and," I shook my head.
"And what," he questioned.
"I don't know," I shrugged, "you just seem like the old Jonathan I remember from when I was little."
My brother stepped forward and kissed my forehead again - seriously, I think he was cloned and swapped out for this week. "You're not the only one who misses those times," Jonathan responded before wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Why don't I help you with your bags, everyone is inside."
We barely made it into the house when my younger brothers ran out of the door, tackling me to the ground. It was mostly just Jensen and Joshua - but boy have those two grown. Jensen was talking about how he could drink now at Jack's wedding because he's twenty-one years old. And Joshua was going on and on about something in high school that the Principal kept complaining why he wasn't more like me, Jordan or Jonathan.
"Can you believe that," Josh exclaimed. "He said that I was the worst Summers kid out of them all!"
"With all the pranks that you pull, I can believe that."
My heart leaped out of my chest when I heard that voice. "Dad!" My dad caught me and squeezed me tight. "Oh, Dad! I've missed you so much!"
"I've missed you too, Wildflower," he kissed my forehead before pushing me back. There were some tears in his eyes and when he reached his hand to my face, I realized that I had started crying too. We both let out a laugh before he hugged me again. "You've grown some, you look like you've lost some weight."
"I was actually skinnier than this at one point," I said before my father's face fell. "I wasn't eating properly," my voice was soft as he nodded, understanding why. "Oh Dad, you have to meet Eric," I pulled him past my brothers who had already introduced themselves and moved on to speak to Jess and Eve. Eric looked a bit nervous and dare I said a little afraid. I wanted to assure him that everything was alright. But there was no time. "Eric, this is my Dad, Jonah Summers. Dad, this is my boyfriend Eric."
My dad's hand faltered before shaking Eric's. "Boyfriend," he questioned Eric.
"Yes, boyfriend," I answered slowly, looking back and forth between the two. "I told you about Eric before, Dad."
"Yes," my dad shook his head before shaking Eric's hand firmly again. "Yes, you did. I just thought that," he looked at Eric and I turned just in time to see Eric shake his head slightly. "Never mind," my dad pulled back. "Well it's good to finally meet you in person, Eric. I've heard a lot of good things about you. And I'm glad that my daughter has you in her life."
"Thank you, sir. I'm honored to have her in my life also."
"Another thing you have to know about me, Eric," he stepped closer to him and I was ready to intervene but then my dad smiled widely. "I'll have none of this 'sir' business, alright? You can save that for my father." My brothers chuckled or groaned in annoyance when our grandpa was mentioned. "Other than that, you can call me Jonah. Don't even say Mr. Summers either," he pointed at Eric who chuckled and nodded in agreement. "And," my dad turned away from him, "who is this beautiful, little princess?"
He knelt in front of Eve who looked back at her mother. Jess smiled at her in encouragement. "I'm not a princess," Eve looked down.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I don't have on any costumes," Eve replied turning back to my Dad.
My dad smiled at her. "You don't need a costume to be one," he said. "Didn't you know that all little girls are princesses?"
"They are," she titled her head.
"They are," my dad nodded. "And when they grow up, they become Queens. And did you know that the Queen is the most powerful, smartest and valued rank someone could become?"
"It is," she said in awe.
"It is. I've always told my JoyAnna that," he glanced up at me. "And it was the same thing my dad told my sisters. That they were always their father's little princesses, first. And when they grew up, the world was theirs. Anything they wanted to do, wanted to be, wanted to go," he listed as Eve paid close attention, "they were the Queens of their own world. They just had to believe in themselves and work hard to get it. The world will be yours one day too, little princess," he tapped her nose, causing her to giggle. "If you believe in it, work hard and," he stood up tall, "listen to your mother."
Jess smiled, letting a small blush color her cheeks.
"Jonah Summers," he held out his hand.
"Jessica Coulter, Eric's sister," she gestured to Eric before shaking my father's hand. "It's wonderful to meet all of you and thank you for letting Eve and I come on this trip."
"Of course," my father said. "Besides my wife isn't going to..."
"Where is she," my mother screamed excitedly, pushing Jensen out of the way - causing Josh and Jonathan to laugh - as she found her way to me.
She hugged me, then hugged Eric, then hugged me again before going to hug Jess and Eve. And finally came back to hug me again. She rattled on about how she was hoping that we arrive sooner than we did and I couldn't help but notice the way that she and my father rubbed her large stomach. I was happy for them, I really was. But like Jess said, I really hoped that this would be their last child. I smiled at my mother's round belly as she continued to tell us about how she heard from Jonathan that we had landed.
"She hurried everyone back from Jack's house to make sure we'd be here," Josh replied.
"I also had to stop that one," she gestured to Josh, "from ruining your brother's house."
Josh put on an innocent face.
"What did you do," I smiled at him.
"Nothing that any of his siblings wouldn't have done when they were fourteen," my dad put his hand on my brother's shoulder causing him to laugh.
"It would have been funnier than anything they've ever done," Josh added.
"Hannah wouldn't have thought it was funny," Jonathan chuckled.
"But you did," Josh pointed at him.
"It doesn't mean that you should have done it," Jensen pushed him slightly.
"Boys," my mother rubbed her stomach, "oh how I wish I was having another daughter."
"Why? She'd be just like JoyAnna," Jensen muttered, causing me to punch his arm and everyone else to laugh.
"But I must say that at least for the week, I'll be glad to have more female company around the place," my mother added as she took Jess's arm in hers and gestured at Eve to follow her. "Will you boys get the bags?"
I asked my mother where Jack was and she informed me that Jack was still at his house with Jordan and they would be meeting us soon. When asked if we were meeting anyone else, my mom said that grandpa and grandma would be coming up for dinner and that was about it. She wanted it to be just us so she could talk more to Eric and Jess - and of course Eve. We had gotten to the room where Jess would be staying - Jack's old room - and there was my little Jimmy Bean.
He smiled brightly and held out two fistfuls of flowers. One for me and another for Jess. Just after we thanked him, he pulled a small daisy from behind his back and handed it to Eve. She smiled while putting the daisy to her nose before giving Jimmy a kiss on his cheek.
"And who is this young man here," Eric asked, sounding all serious. It made Jimmy jump back from Eve.
"This is my baby brother, Jameson. But we all call him Jimmy. Come here, Jimmy Bean," I smiled as he leaped towards me, almost causing me to fall over. "Look how big you've gotten," I smothered his face with kisses, smiling at his protests and giggles.
Jimmy was the most apprehensive to meet Eric. And I couldn't blame him. The last boyfriend I brought home wasn't someone that he took to, either. It was natural for him to be cautious. But by the time we left, he was talking Eric's off about all the things he wanted to show him. Eric listened to him intently, never once looking bored and it made me smile as we walked towards my room.
"We're so happy to have you all staying with us, Eric," my mother stopped in front of my room. "Here we are," she gestured to my room, "now, the two of you can rest and get settled - the same as I told your sister and Eve. Tonight, Jonah's father and mother are coming down. Jonathan is going to get them in a couple hours. And we'll have a family dinner before the house gets too crowded with everyone else."
"Sounds exciting," Eric smiled at her. "Thanks again for having me, Mrs. Summers."
"I don't know if my husband told you but there will be none of that. You may call me Jubilee or," she paused and looked at me before smiling reassuring at Eric, "if you want to call me 'mom' that's fine too."
"So, uh," I cleared my throat, "where is Eric staying? If Jess is in Jack's old room, then..."
"He'll be staying with you," my mother let out a small laugh. "You didn't expect him to sleep out in the farmhouse, did you?"
"Um, we're sharing rooms," I asked my mother uncertainly.
She glanced at me and then pulled me closer. "From the conversation, you and I last had, you said that you and Eric were getting along quite well in that department."
"Mother," I exclaimed in shock, pulling back.
"Unless, Is there any concerns or..."
"No, I just," I shook my head and looked at Eric who was trying to look at anything else but me and my mom.
"JoyAnna, Wildflower, we aren't naive to think that you and Eric haven't," she shrugged, "well you know," she waved her hand and smiled at me.
"But, it's just that you've never," I shook my head again.
They never let me and Cain sleep in the same room when we had come back to visit. In fact, Jack couldn't have Hannah up in his room and neither were they allowed to move in together at his new house until they were married - which was happening this weekend. Jordan and Jensen's girlfriends couldn't even go up to their rooms and yet here she was telling me that Eric and I were to share a room together.
"I already told Eric that you and Dad are pretty old-fashioned that way and..."
"We are," my mother patted Eric's arm. "But, Jonah and I discussed it and," she paused before glancing my way. "I know about the," another dramatic pause that made me concerned. "I was informed on the seriousness of your relationship," my mom looked at me, "and we thought it would be alright. We trust you, JoyAnna. And," she tugged on Eric's arm, wrapping her hands about his shoulders to hug him. "We trust you, Eric."
She pulled back and smiled at the two of us before leaving.
I was left with little time to overcome my shock when Eric pulled me into my room. He placed his bag and mine on the floor before smiling at the room. "It doesn't look like how I imagined it would be."
I let out nervous laugh, because I had never had a boy - a man this time - in my room. "I didn't really go through a flower phase when I was younger. I remember once liking butterflies and this whole room was purple and pink with butterflies."
"Now that I can't imagine either," he chuckled.
"I'm just glad that my mother changed the sheets."
"Why, was there One Direction on there before," he teased.
"Shut up," I playfully pushed him.
"I feel kind of jealous now," he smirked, pulling me closer. "Did Zayne or Harry sleep in your bed before me?"
I smiled, shaking my head at his playfulness before leaning up to give him a kiss. After Eric and me slowly undressed one another until we were left in our underwear, we crawled into bed and fell off to sleep. I was pretty exhausted from the travel and overwhelmed by my thoughts and feelings from the past couple days. I realized - just before I closed my eyes and snuggled deeper into Eric's embrace - that this was the first time since he proposed that he held me in his arms. We hadn't slept like this since then and the guilt began to eat away at me until I drifted into my deep slumber.
Eric and I were the last ones to join everyone downstairs. Jess and Eve were already there. Well, Jess was talking to Jack, Jordan and Jonathan. I hurried to hug my two brothers who weren't here and they expressed their joy to see how happy I looked now. I honestly didn't know what they meant by it, but Jonathan agreed with Jack and Jordan and said that I did look different. Eric met my other two brothers and despite their being a slight protectiveness from both of them, they were nice enough as 'older brothers' go.
My grandpa was the worst of them all. Eric was calling my grandparents, 'Pops' and 'Gamma' just like how we were before dessert was even served - because my grandpa had insisted.
"This tastes wonderful, Aunt Juby," Jess told her. "I think I've had something like it before."
"Oh yes, I tried to replicate it back at home," I said as we both laughed, "but my mom always cooks it better," I smiled at her.
"I told you, Wildflower, you have to put a lot of love in what you make," she said as my father kissed her cheek, "and a lot of love in where the ingredients come from. You know that I get my produce..."
"Fresh from nature," me and half of my siblings finished for her as we laughed.
"That's the best way," my mother huffed before turning to Jess. "You're not one of those girls who try all that organic stuff, do you?"
"No, I tried but," Jess laughed, "it's not really for me. On the other hand, I don't like a whole lot of chemically-treated foods. It's not good for Eve, either," Jess nodded.
I looked down the table to see Eve was sitting by my grandmother and Jimmy. They were hearing one of her stories and eating their food slowly. Jimmy was paying close attention to our grandma that he missed his mouth a couple times and got a few smudges on his cheek.
"Well here in Amity, everything is grown naturally. People confuse it with organic - but it's not the same," my mother said.
"And how is it not the same," Jonathan asked with a knowing smile.
"Did you really have to ask that question," Jack chuckled turning to him.
"You see..." my mother began as we all laughed.
"There'll be no stopping her now," I whispered as Eric leaned over and kissed the side of my head.
"I don't mind," he smiled, "and neither does my sister. I like your folks."
I smiled and turned away from him to see our father watching us with a small smile on his face. He nodded slightly when our eyes met before turning back to listen to my mother speak with Jess about her farming and how she fell in love with everything that was here - even my father. Eric and I started having a conversation with Jonathan, Jordan and Jensen when my mother asked for our attention once again.
"I'm sorry, what was the question," I asked my mom.
"What was that thing that the Banner's did every year?"
"Thing," I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Yes," she nodded, "they did that detox or cleansing thing. I hardly understood that Banner family," my mother waved her hand and shook her head.
It was then that I realized she had brought up Cain. I glanced around the table to see that they all had tensed up, including Eric and Jess.
"Banner," Eric repeated, causing my head to snap towards his. "As in Thomas and Cecilia Banner," he questioned, glancing at me before looking at Jess.
"Yes, you've heard of them," asked my dad.
Eric and Jess stared at one another before he shook his head and put on a smile that I knew was false. "They owned the business that FEI - my company - brought out a couple months ago."
"That's right," my grandpa chuckled. "I heard that a few of their businesses had gone under," he laughed harder before clearing his throat. "Forgive me, JoyAnna but that is one family that had it coming."
"I suppose they did," I smiled softly before lifting my glass of water to my mouth.
"How do you all know the Banners," Eric questioned, putting a forkful in his mouth - attempting to appear apathetic about it.
There was a brief moment of silence as I reached for my water again and downed the entire glass. My brother - Jonathan of all people - turned and gave me an incredulous look. "I'm assuming my sister has not told you about him?"
Eric looked to me and then back at Jonathan before shaking his head.
"My sister was..."
"Jonathan," my father reprimanded him, shaking his head.
But Jonathan ignored it and turned to stare at me. "JoyAnna should have said something earlier." He looked at Eric. "My sister was engaged to their son, Cain."
"Engaged," Eric repeated the word slowly and the tension began to grow. "When was this," he asked as I felt his gaze on me.
"Over a year ago," Jordan added.
"It'll be two years in a couple months," Jensen commented and I glared at all of them.
Eric chuckled darkly and lifted his glass of water to his mouth.
"She left him the day they were supposed to get married," Jonathan tacked on.
"Really," I questioned him, almost pounding my fist on the table.
"Engaged to Cain Banner," Eric said next to me, making me look back at him. His eyes were hard as they looked at me. "That's news to me."
I felt like I was killed twice over - once with Jess's stare down from the airport and now with Eric. His eyes pierced me to my seat. I felt like I couldn't move. I wondered what feelings were going through him. Betrayal, anger, hurt? I wanted to be upset at my brothers for mentioning it before I could tell him. Jess was right - I should have told Eric before someone else did. I would be upset too if I learned that Eric had been engaged before - in front of my family and without informing me.
My father cleared his throat. "JoyAnna, why don't you take Eric to look at the lake? I believe it's a full moon tonight and it'll be a shame that he misses such beauty in Amity."
I slowly got up, wondering if Eric was going to decline. But he did not. He thanked my father and mother for the wonderful dinner. He shook my grandfather's hand and hugged my grandma before following me out. His hand rest on my lower back and I felt like I was burning from his touch - and it wasn't the good type of burning either.
"I know you're upset," was the first thing I said as we got out of the house.
"Upset doesn't cover it," Eric gritted through his teeth as he gestured for us to keep walking.
Surprisingly, we were left alone. And I had a feeling that my Dad - as irritated as he was that my brothers made his little girl sad - was upset with me also. Maybe Eric was right, 'upset' couldn't even label it. My father had told me when Eric and I first started dating to tell Eric everything. But I hadn't. I waited until my brothers spilled the beans, aired out my dirty laundry.
We finally made it a fair distance away when Eric sighed, causing me to turn back to look at him.
"We need to discuss two things right now, Ana," Eric began. "First off, when were you planning on telling me that you were engaged?"
"Eric..."
"You weren't just dating, you were engaged! And what was that I heard your brother say," he pointed back towards the house, "you left your fiancé on the day you were supposed to marry him?"
"He was cheating on me, you know this!"
"You were engaged!"
"Eric, I..."
"Do you know how I felt in there, finding out that you were engaged to someone else a year before you and I met?"
"I wasn't trying to hide it from you."
"Then why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to find out from your brothers during a family dinner? Do you know how that made me look, that I didn't even know the woman I want to marry was previously engaged?!" Eric took a few steps towards me. "I felt like a fool, Ana! That's why you haven't said anything isn't it? That's why you still haven't given me a goddamn answer, isn't it," he shouted as I cringed. Eric shook his head and looked off into the distance. "It's like I have to start all over again to earn your trust and affection. That's how I feel, Ana. It was one thing that we were dating but now that I want you to be my wife and I learn that you refused to become someone else's..."
"It's not like I'm refusing you."
"No, but you are scared. You're so fucking scared to be in committed relationship because you think it's going to put you right back to where you were, don't you?" I shook my head and started to cry. "Answer me, dammit!"
"Fine," I shouted, looking through my watery eyes up at him. "I am scared! I'm scared out of my mind. I am so in love with Eric that it hurts me! It pains me to think that I've fallen so hard, gave my heart over to you and in one swift move you could tear it apart the same as my ex did. When you asked me, I was so happy and then I remembered that I had been proposed to before, I had been promised forever once before! I don't know if I could handle going through that again only to come out of it with nothing!"
Eric shook his head. "Then that tells me that you still don't trust me."
"I do. I just..."
"No Ana, you could have told me that you were engaged and you failed to do so. If that was the case, I would have proceeded with caution, probably taken more time."
"I want to be with you, Eric. I want us to be together."
"I do too, Ana. But I don't want you second guessing us all the time or comparing me to Cain Banner!"
My hands covered my face as I desperately attempted to stop my tears. I only began to sob harder. Eric didn't reach out to hold me or assure me that everything was okay. I don't know why I was expecting him to, he was upset with me over what had happened.
"I'm sleeping on your parent's couch tonight," he announced as I nodded sadly. "Come on," Eric said gently, moving my hands from my face and pulling me inside.
There hardly was anyone in the dining room and I noticed a light down the hall, meaning that my brothers must have taken Jess and Eve down towards the den area where we used to watch TV and play games when we were younger. Eric followed me up the stairs, the only sounds were my sniffling and Eric's steps. Once we were in my room, he began to take out his clothes for the night - a white t-shirt and pajama pants. I stayed there on the bed watching him, every part of me breaking - knowing that tonight he'd be somewhere else in the house. My whole family would know tomorrow morning that we got into a fight - as if the tension at the table wasn't indication enough.
"I just have one more question before I go downstairs," Eric said, making me look up at him. "Did you know who I was before we started dating?"
"I don't understand the question," I shook my head.
"Did you know that I was Eric Coulter, son of Jarvis Coulter? Did you know that he worked for Jeanine Matthews? Did you..."
"Eric, you told me all of that."
"But did you know before we started dating? Is that why you showed up in my life?"
"I don't know where this is coming from," I looked down. "I didn't pursue you or chase you if that's what you're implying. And I didn't know who your family was until you told me that night at your apartment."
"Are you sure?"
"Eric, what is this about?"
He paced for a while before sitting next to me. "You're certain that you had no idea who I was before we started dating? You didn't know who my father, my mother or my Aunt are?"
"I'm certain," I shook my head. "Eric, I've never met them before, remember? They're always busy," I shrugged.
"And you are positive that you never met Tobias Eaton before?"
"Tobias? What does he have to do with..."
"Just answer the question, Ana! Did you know him before we met?"
"Well, my cousin Peter works for him but that's because he feels he owes Tris. And," I laughed lightly, "he's sort of in love with her. But I've never met Tobias until I went there to do my car. And I think that happened after that day you came out of your office to kick me out. I don't really remember."
Eric stood up and started to pace the room again.
"Eric, your scaring me. What's going on?"
"One hundred percent sure that you had no idea about me," he clarified.
"I don't. I didn't," I answered. "Eric, what's..."
"So, you just happened to be engaged to the son of one of America's biggest crime bosses before you dated me?"
"What are you talking about? I wasn't engaged to any crime boss," I shook my head. "I was with Cain while we were in high school. His dad owns real estate and some other computer businesses," I added.
"Strip clubs, escorts, security, pharmaceutical labs, weapons labs," Eric interjected.
"No, they don't," I protested.
"Believe me, Thomas Banner is the most wanted man in America - possibly Mexico, South America and parts of Europe. They own all of that and more. Anything you can think of," Eric explained, "the Banners have had their hands in it. Terrorist attacks, drug trafficking, weapons deals, woman being sold, children being sold," he listed as I shook my head. "My Aunt is a wicked woman but she is child's play compared to Thomas Banner."
"There must be another Banner family then. Because Cain and his father weren't doing anything illegal," I cried and looked down at my hands. "I swear he wasn't like that. He..." I paused and sighed, closing my eyes. "He wouldn't have told me anything about it anyways."
"You really didn't know?"
"No," I shouted, looking up at him. "I didn't know about Cain. I could barely tell that he was cheating on me for the three years we were together, what makes you think I knew that he was involved in illegal activity?"
Eric stared hard at me as I sat there, staring back at him. "You honestly didn't know a thing," he stated, as if realizing that I was telling the truth. He took a step forward, knelt in front of me and reached out to touch my cheek. I flinched away at first but allowed him to hold me for that moment. "Why would he choose you then," Eric asked quietly.
I scoffed. "Am I just that ugly and stupid that I wouldn't be with..."
His hand moved from my cheek to smack my arm lightly. It was light but it was enough to get my attention. "Cut that crap out, Ana," he said in a serious manner. "We've been through this so many times before. If I wasn't attracted to you, if I didn't think that you were this beautiful, amazing and sweet woman, I wouldn't be with you. I like what I see, I always have, always will." He looked down before moving to sit beside me again. "I'm not good with words so I will say it the best way that I possibly can." He sighed and turned to face me. "There is something about you that made Cain Banner chose you."
"What do you mean," I narrowed my eyes.
"Most guys that are in this line of work, we don't date normal girls, Ana. It's not like how you and I met, you know - boy meets girl, spontaneously at some bar, workplace, gym or what have you," he shook his head. "Those who get out - like me, Edward or Will - we look for girls who remind us that we're still human, that we can enjoy the simple things in life like. For me, this," he gestured between us, "it wasn't some hook-up or some one-nighter. I saw you and I fell, Ana."
I reached out and took his hand in mine.
"But Thomas Banner would have wanted his son to find a girl that he could gain something from."
"Gain something," I asked, "but I don't have anything to offer but myself. And no offense but after the years that we've been together, I highly doubt Cain stayed with me out of love." Eric wrapped his arm around me and I leaned into him. "Which tells me a whole lot about you, Eric," I whispered. "You're not in it for anything," I paused and turned my head to look up, "but me."
"I am," he responded. "That's why I just get so angry Ana that you're still doubting this."
I nodded before moving out of his hold, glancing down at my hands in my lap.
"I need to know everything, Ana," he said, grabbing onto my hand, "and I mean everything. No more secrets, no more waiting around to share feelings or thoughts."
"Of course," I replied.
Eric turned away and looked out at nothing in particular. He agreed that we would talk more about it tomorrow. As much as I didn't want him to go downstairs, a part of me wanted to breathe away from him. I had just learned that Cain was involved in criminal activity as well. And though I had no right to be hurt - after everything I had put Eric through - that was exactly how I was feeling when thinking about Eric's earlier accusation. He didn't come right out and say it but it was implied. It was implied that I had moved on from Cain to date another 'bad boy, criminal' type by going out with Eric. I would have missed it if he didn't bring up Tobias's name as well. That to me was just a little sketchy.
After pressing a kiss to my forehead and lifting my head up to place his lips on mine, Eric said he was still a little upset that I didn't tell him and he knew that I was feeling a bit agitated as well. He admitted to not liking the piece of hell we were dragging ourselves through and spending the night on my parent's couch. He also admitted that we needed to talk, absolutely needed to.
When he finally left, I tried my best to get some sleep. Instead I found that I couldn't. Sometime during the night, I found myself in front of my closet, in a small shoe-box that I swear I told my brothers to burn when they got home. In there were pictures of me and Cain, letters we had passed to one another in class, little flowers he picked for me and other stuff. All of it - I pushed the box back - all of it was a lie. Why did he choose me? What was he hiding? How deep was he in the things that his father did? What was his ultimate plan with me? Why me? Did he have to break my heart? Did he...
I almost screamed when the door opened.
"I couldn't sleep either," Eric admitted, walking in and sitting by my side. He brushed away my tears before pulling me into his lap.
"Why me, Eric? First Cain and then Marcus," I began to sob. "Why are they after me?"
"I don't know, love," he buried his nose in the top of my head. "But I'm going to stop them."
"Promise," I whispered.
"I promise," he replied before moving us so that he could stand and carry me to my bed. He settled me down on there, crawled in next to me and cradled my body against his. "No more secrets, please Ana."
"No more," I responded, "I promise."