Chapter 30

'I think it's going to take some adjustment for me to get used to the new you. I'm a bit bewildered by it all, though.' Kate took the proffered hand loosely in her own.

'What's to bewilder? I've stood up to my mum and told her about you. I thought you'd be pleased, and relieved.' Caroline was a bit taken aback as she found herself being led to the lounge and not the stairs.

'Let's drink the tea and talk for a minute.' Kate explained.

Her emotions were in turmoil. Yes, she was more than pleased at the way Caroline had addressed Celia's bigotry and bullying but, as far as she knew, Caroline had still not decided about the contentious issue of her wish to have a baby. Neither of them had mentioned the topic for some days and a little doubt pecked at her brain, saying that Caroline was hoping she'd done enough with her boldness in front of Celia to make Kate feel it was unfair to ask for any further commitment. As much as she tried to rid herself of such harsh criticism about someone she adored and respected, the idea not only persisted but began to grow into fact.

For Caroline's part, her emotions were also in full flood after what she saw as a successful conclusion of the evening's events, and she was struggling to think of anything but a quick celebration with a naked Kate. Feeling ashamed of herself as she knew Kate's wish to talk deserved better attention, she too was unsuccessful in ridding her mind of certain thoughts. She wasn't totally oblivious to the signs, however, and sensed that there must be something seriously troubling Kate, who chose to occupy a small chair in her lounge, rather than on the sofa, so Caroline found herself forced to sit apart. She accidentally knocked her handbag and its contents onto the floor as she placed her mug of tea on the table and consequently noticed her mobile was flashing.

'Excuse me, Kate. I need to just check this. Oh, missed call from William about half an hour ago and then a text.'

'Is he ok?' Kate asked, concerned despite her emotional turmoil.

Caroline read the message and laughed. 'Apparently, William and John were concerned that my mother wasn't home as she doesn't normally go out after dark!'

'Do you need to ring or text him back?'

'No, that's fine. I need to talk to you first, Kate.' She put the phone back in her messenger bag to confirm that the conversation had her full attention. 'I think we're both bewildered, to be honest. I'd like to say for my part, and please don't be cross, that I'm struggling to understand the barrier of formality and distance that's come between us in the last few minutes. I thought you'd be more than pleased at the way I dealt with my mum. The look in your eyes says quite the opposite.'

Kate placed her hands underneath her thighs, sensing they were trembling and wanting to hide the fact. For all that was between them she was anxious not to appear fragile.

'It's all a bit sudden, that's all. I didn't think we were ready to go public yet, least not until we'd settled things between us.'

'Settled things? I don't follow. I thought that's what you wanted. Us, that is.'

'Yes, it is, and I said I'd give you time, but you've not given me an answer about the baby, about having a child. Me, having a child. We haven't discussed it again and it's just like you've set us on this course now, with your mum knowing and she'll, well, she'll probably tell everyone. Then, if we don't agree about what the future holds, it could make things very awkward for you and for me, especially at school, with the boys.' Kate sensed that she was failing in her attempts to remain strong and determined, tripping over her words despite her best efforts.

'Oh, don't fret about her telling anyone, Kate. She won't sully her lips to let that information out and certainly not to the boys. Believe me.' Caroline's quick response failed to address the real issue.

'Well, alright, but it's still a bit cart before the horse, if you were to ask me, which you didn't. Plus, your answer to my concern doesn't exactly shriek commitment.' Kate found a sudden supply of courage although it made her sound more belligerent than she intended.

'Your mum knows.' Caroline sensed her hackles rise. She knew she was becoming defensive, aware that what Kate was saying was correct even though she felt her attitude was unnecessarily hostile. Uncaringly and desperate, not knowing what to say or do to get out of her predicament, she resorted to trying to turn the tables and put Kate's behaviour under the spotlight. She wanted to avoid baby talk as she feared it might result in causing pain to them both, but her substitute response had the same effect. 'So, it's alright for you but not for me, is that it? I've put a lot on the line for you.'

'Now who's being distant? For me? Not for us?'

'Don't split hairs, Kate. You know what I mean.' Her go-to reaction to demanding situations in her private life was often to run or, at the very least, to erect barriers. Her head was suddenly overwhelmed by the multitude of serious decisions that were heading her way, even without adding a baby to the mix. John would be likely to ask that the house be sold if he knew she was in a relationship and she hated the thought of living anywhere else. 'I love you, you know.'

'I know you do. As I do you, but is that enough? Obviously, having a baby is a huge decision and I wouldn't want to do it on my own, but neither would I want you to be anything less than fully committed. I'm so sorry, Caroline.' As if for the first time she sensed the magnitude of what she was asking and once again her manner changed abruptly.

'It's my intransigence that's built an obstacle on the road. Again. So why should you be sorry?' Caroline followed Kate's example in taking a step back from confrontation.

'For asking such a massive thing of you.' Kate looked at her watch. 'Look, I'm conscious of the time. Had you better ring William before they send a search party out for you too?'

'No, I'll just head home in a bit. He might be in bed already and I try to persuade them not to use phones at this time of day. Sit with me. Please.'

Kate had been struggling to make eye contact, but she did so now. Bright ultramarine eyes looked her way and she was surprised to see them glint with moisture. A deep sadness etched the face she loved so much and, unable to resist such a heartfelt plea, she moved to fill the arms that lifted to envelop her.

'I bet you rue the day that we met. You'll be wishing that dream was real and you didn't wait around for me to turn up for the interview!' she whispered.

'NO way, Kate.' She held her even tighter to give and receive comfort, all thoughts of sex having long-since evaporated. They stayed entwined for some minutes, but Caroline knew she really did have to head home. 'I should go. I'm sorry about that. It's always an hour here and there, so very rarely quality time.' She felt Kate nod as she kissed her left cheek before leaving the room and the cottage without another word. Kate remained motionless, head bowed while tears fell silently onto her lap. She looked at her watch again and calculating that her mum would be available, she reached for her laptop.

ooOoo

'I'm sorry I had to contact you last night, mum. I hope you didn't mind.' William queried as he rummaged in the cupboard to find his favourite cereal. 'Damn! Lawrence must have taken the last of the Crunchy Nut flakes.'

'Shall we just say that it was an interesting evening, William. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you, but I knew your Gran would have had time to get home by the time I saw your message.'

Bafflement at his mum's response joined his look of annoyance. 'Were you with her then?'

'Shall we just say that we bumped into each other. Look in the big pantry cupboard. I'm sure there's another box.' Caroline ruffled the teenager's hair as she left the kitchen to give her younger son another call. Returning to the kitchen she resumed the conversation without missing a beat. 'To be honest, your Gran turned up at Kate's house. Followed me there. Anyway, things might get a little strained as I told her about Kate. I'm sure she won't say anything to you but, just so you know, she might not be too happy for a day or two until she gets down off her high horse.'

'Oh, don't worry about her today; she's as bright as the day is long. I spoke to her last night when she got home and again this morning. She's off to Skipton to meet Alan.'

'She's what?! The last thing she said to me was that she wasn't going to go. Oh well, that might take her focus off me. I could do without any more of her interference.'

'Whose interference could you do without? Let me guess; your mother?' a very dishevelled John enquired as he sauntered into the room. 'Is that kettle boiling? If not, put it on for me.'

'Indeed. Who else? I think it's empty and I am not inclined to wait on you. Some of us have a proper job to go to. Where is Lawrence? I've got a busy diary and need to get off. William, I hope you're ready apart from cleaning your teeth when you've finished that.' With that she headed back upstairs, passing Lawrence on the way and leaving him in no doubt that he needed to hurry if he didn't want to lose his pocket money for the next fortnight.

ooOoo

As her elder grandson had stated, Celia was in fine form that morning, her annoyance and disgust at her daughter's announcement put to one side as she contemplated what the day might bring. She was anxious and excited at the thought of meeting Alan. What she had not yet told any of the family was that she'd felt more than a little attracted to him when they were teenagers and, but for her family's relocation to Sheffield, she would have gone out with him. He had not alluded to the abandoned date in any of his e mails and she wondered if he had remembered the circumstances. For years after they last met it had been a source of disappointment and hurt that he had not bothered to make contact.

Celia watched from her window as her family loaded into the Jeep. Happy to see them head off, she checked the contents of her handbag, and then her appearance in the mirror, before locking her door and starting the journey to Skipton. She disliked lateness and, feeling that she had been waiting for this encounter for over sixty years, was determined to be on time.

Her day with Alan was a delightful mix of reminiscence, sharing, discovery and adventure. They talked as if they had never lost touch and the years melted away. She discovered that he had not made contact when she moved to Sheffield because he hadn't received the letter that Eileen Pickford was meant to give him. It all made sense when he revealed that he had gone on to marry her. Celia sensed the same kindness and caring in the man that she had seen in the lad all those years ago. This gave her such a feeling of security and trust that she shared the difficulties in her marriage that had caused so much heartache. A series of events from the start of the day, when Alan realised that his car had been stolen from the car park, concluded with Celia crashing her car and leaving them with no independent means of getting back to their respective homes. So, it was while they waited for their daughters to collect them that they speculated what might have happened had Celia's forwarding address been passed on. Rather quickly they reached agreement on how they intended to remedy the error.

ooOoo

'I'm off out to collect your mother from Skipton. She's been trying to ring you. She crashed her car.'

'My mother? Oh. She alright?' Caroline rummaged in her bag and saw the numerous missed calls in her phone log. Work had been so frantic that it had been on silent and she had not thought to check it.

John was so obviously unfit to drive through drink that Caroline had no option than to turn around and head straight back out to the Jeep. Work had been relentless and as she left Sulgrave she knew that Kate was still tied up in a meeting with the other language teachers so, unfortunately, she had not been able to meet up to assess how things were between them. She had one long, final task to complete before the Inspection and had been hoping for an uninterrupted evening in her office at home rather than a tour of the Yorkshire countryside to rescue her mother.

Signalling before she manoeuvred into the last available parking space, she was stunned when a battered, mud-splattered Land Rover beat her to the gap. Exasperated she left the Jeep on double yellow lines and quickly followed the female driver and a young male passenger into the pub, where she did not hesitate to express her displeasure while her mother looked on in amazement. The torrent of her angry words flowed with ease, although she knew that she was addressing a bigger woe than upset at a lost parking space.

'Low-life, no-good trailer trash!'

'Snotty bitch!' the Land Rover driver retorted.

Further angst and embarrassment was the headteacher's lot as she found herself being introduced to the other driver, who turned out to be Alan's daughter, and as if that was not enough, her mother and Alan announced that they were getting married. It all seemed like a ridiculous farce; a storyline that would not have been out of place in a soap opera and she could not wait to escape. Giving her mother no opportunity to prolong the encounter, after a few exchanges with Alan and giving the excuse of being busy with preparations for the Inspection, she insisted they leave. She wanted to make an escape before Alan's daughter returned from the toilets, not worried that her actions showed no semblance of respect towards the crestfallen septuagenarians or their feelings.

'We are serious, you know.' Her mother maintained as they strapped themselves in the car.

'Whatever!' she replied with undisguised mockery.

The drive home began in silence, both women's minds racing with their separate agendas. Celia was not entirely surprised at her daughter's response and did not allow it to subdue her mood. She used the quietness to run through the various events of the day, focusing mainly on her conversations with Alan and the key decision which resulted. Without intention, she realised that she was speaking aloud.

'We missed a trick.'

Now that she was driving along a more familiar major road, Caroline's concentration had been able to focus on a strange mix of the looming inspection, her relationship with Kate and the prospect of her mother marrying a relative stranger. She heard the words but had no idea as to their meaning.

'What trick? Who?'

Celia chanced the first proper look at her daughter since getting in the car. Despite their frequent differences there was no doubt each held a deep affection for the other and Celia was saddened to see the drawn look on her daughter's face.

'We did. Me and Alan. All those years ago. All those lost years ago. He was the one for me and vice versa. When I think of what we could have had! That's why we can't afford to lose any more time. Whatever's around the corner, and none of us know what that is however much we think we do, I know I don't want to face it without him. We've already turned far too many apart.'

'You wouldn't have had me.'

'Oh, I think I'd always have had you.'

Caroline drove on without replying for the remaining miles, her mother's words echoing around her brain. She thought of the difficulties that she knew her mum and dad had encountered and the sadness that resulted for both her parents and herself. Could it all have been avoided? If her mother had been happier, with someone who loved and respected her, would it all have been different? Her thoughts turned to the possibility that HER circumstances might have been improved too, had her mother been in love with someone who loved her unconditionally. Was it possible that Celia would not have been so embittered and selfish in the way she interacted with others?

Her thoughts, which had been scrambled, started to organise much like the way a jigsaw takes shape once the straight edges have been put in place and the colours separated. She knew then that she was in great danger of missing a trick, as her mother had phrased it, facing a future and whatever laid around the corners in her path, without the person who was right for her.

'I've got to go out. Just call in the house to tell John to feed the boys, will you?' Caroline broke the silence as Celia put her feet on the gravel of the driveway.

'I thought you'd got work to do for the Inspectors.' Celia challenged but as Caroline began to reverse the Jeep she was left with no option than to slam the car door.

ooOoo

'Kate! Kate!' she called while banging on the door of the cottage and peering through the glass at the same time. She began to consider the possibility that Kate was not at home when she heard a voice from above.

'Good grief, Caroline. What's up? Whatever's up? Give me a minute and I'll be down.'

While waiting for the door to open Caroline took some deep breaths to calm her panic and help her run through what she felt she should say, having begun to organise her thoughts during the short journey from Conway Drive. The sight of a tearful-looking Kate on her doorstep put paid to her best-laid plans, however, and she mumbled a virtually incomprehensible declaration.

'Have you been crying? Please don't cry. We haven't missed a trick yet and my mum says that she'd have always had me, but the thing is, she hasn't always had Alan and now they've found the trick that they missed all those years ago. Then I thought of George Michael and his song about different corners because of that dream that I had about us not waiting to interview you because none of us know what is around any corner, but we must turn them anyway. Sometimes we might have our plans but then, well, what's that they say about man planning and God laughing. Then if I think I know what I wanted to be around the corners I would be wrong and then you'll…'

'Caroline. Just stop and take a breath, will you? If I didn't know better I'd think you'd been drinking. It might also be better if you actually stepped inside so I can close the door.'

'Yes. Good idea. No alcohol. Sorry.'

'Corners, tricks? Too much caffeine then?' Kate joked despite her inner turmoil. She knew that she was on the cusp of deciding for a future with Caroline, whether or not they agreed to try for a baby. Her tears had been for the babies that she had lost and, potentially, the ending of that particular dream.

'Not at all, Kate. It's a long story but the thing is my mother's getting married…'

'Your mother's getting married?!'

'Yes, long story. Don't worry about that. The important thing is us, our future.'

'And?'

'Right. This is the thing. We all make plans for our future and then it doesn't work out and we end up turning a corner that we didn't expect to and find ourselves somewhere we didn't bargain for and sometimes that can be worse and sometimes better than our initial plans. The thing is, what's important is that we turn those corners with the person we're meant to be with and I know, now, I do; I know.'

'I'm closer to your meaning this time but clarify for me, please, what do you know?' Kate felt her spirits lift as she began to put the pieces together but did not dare to assume.

'I'll be okay if there's a baby around the corner, for you. For us. More than ok, in fact. It's like everything makes sense and once my brain sorted it all, about an hour ago, I knew that everything in our future would be ok, if you'll still have me.'

'Is this like, forever?' Kate smiled as the tears began to fall once more.

'Well, to quote Prince, forever is a mighty long time but, you know, in theory.'

And it was forever. John didn't manage to worm his way back into his wife's affections and bed although he did still make a successful play for Gillian, Alan's daughter, but that sordid episode is not part of this story. Alan and Celia tied the knot but not before a few more corners were turned on their particular journey along life's way. Caroline gave up her beloved house because she realised that Kate was more important than bricks and mortar and the boys accepted the different path that this presented to them. Kate and Caroline married too as soon as they could, and Kate wasn't run over by a car as she went to collect the milk the following day, as might have been the case had they been the characters in a tv series. As for a baby? Well, of course! At five thirty-three in the morning on the 18th September, Kate McKenzie-Dawson was safely delivered of a beautiful baby girl, Flora Grace, the apple of her mothers' eyes from that moment in time.

A/N So, as I finish, I would like to express my thanks to those who have travelled with me along this journey. It's been good to have your company.