A/N: OK, so this chapter kind of flipped around on me. I had it planned for it to go one way, but while writing it went totally somewhere else...

Thanks for the continued support. It means so much to me!

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She woke up with a dull ache throbbing right at her temple. It wasn't too bad, but she figured she'd known where it had come from.

What time is it?

It was Saturday. Neal wasn't beside her like he normally would have been.

He went in for some overtime.

Emma turned on her side towards her nightstand. Her phone wasn't sitting there like she had hoped. Instead, she did find a bottle of water and two aspirin sitting there seemingly waiting on her.

Sweet.

Emma moved to sit up in the bed. It was just a moment before she stood up. She was only a bit surprised by the fact that she was still in her clothes from the other night. But only a little.

A thought dawned on her, and she patted down her pockets. She was correct. Her phone was there, and nearly dead. She also saw that it was pretty late. At least for her usual Saturday routine of her gym workout.

No text messages. No missed calls. She would have thought that Killian would have tried to contact her to make sure she was going to be on time or what was the holdup. Because she couldn't even recall how she had made it home. Had she drove? She doubted it somewhat because he wouldn't have let her go on her own.

Emma bit down on her lip as she began to move. She didn't have time to sit there and question things about last night.

She picked up the thoughtfully laid out aspirin and popped them in her mouth. It was the note that been underneath those pills that drew her attention. Before she could get to it, she opened the bottled water and took a sip, forcing down the medication.

I heard that you had a pretty wild night. Think about staying in bed for a little while. Don't force yourself out just to go to the gym. I will see you later.

I love you!

The sweet note made her smile. She tossed it back down to the table and began to move quickly. She wasn't going to be able to do what Neal had suggested. She wasn't going to be able to stay in bed for a couple of extra hours. She had to get to the gym.

She expected the dull ache to be gone by the time she got out of the shower. It wasn't even that bad.

It made her curious though. The night was such a blur. Emma had gotten to the bar first. She had waited for the guys to get there. It was Killian who had shown up and had mentioned that Neal wasn't going to be able to make it because of work this morning.

She was going to have a night alone with Killian. It had excited her and saddened her at the same time. Her feelings had a way of running away from her those times they were alone together. But then he just had to remind her of… that woman…

Emma wasn't sure how much time he had spent with Ariel in that week since their double date. It couldn't have been much. But why had he needed to bring her up? What did he see in her?

She remembered tequila. She remembered lots of tequila. And she didn't remember much after that.

Well she didn't have time to contemplate what her night had been. If she wanted to make it to the gym- if she wanted to see Killian- she was going to have to get a move on. A quick shower was all she would have time for. And then she would see him.

.

.

When Killian didn't pick up when she called him the first time, she let it go. Being a good twenty minutes late, she herself could imagine him just beginning to get into his workout. But when she finally set her eyes on him, when she saw him reclined on the incline bench with the free weights, there was a bit of hesitation that was almost instant. She caught his attention with the reflection ftom the mirror in front of them.

Her smile was small as she watched him quietly.

She saw the slight stutter in his movement, the dumbbells hitching in midair before finishing the repetition.

Killian's quietness was a bit disconcerting. He had looked at her with slight surprise, his eyes widening just a fraction before he turned away from her.

Emma watched quietly as he finished the set of chest press. Although his silence was a bit confusing, she took the moment to appreciate his physique. The muscles of his triceps and biceps were working hard at pushing that weight over his chest. And, yeah, it was a bit entrancing…

Was she a distraction? Because as soon as she moved within viewing range, she saw the slowdown of his movements. Although he seemed to be making a conscious effort to actually not look her way.

Emma watched as he lowered the dumbbells and placed them on either side of him onto the floor.

"Good morning," she offered when he didn't seem motivated to do so. She moved to stand in front of him.

"Morning."

There was a wariness there. A vagueness that hinted to... something. Emma wasn't sure.

"I… didn't… think." Killian paused so that he could wet his bottom lip with his tongue. "I didn't expect you to…to come this morning."

It made her turn her head and search that face of his.

"Oh." Her fingers went to touch at her left temple. "I woke up with only a small headache." She gave him a tiny smile. "Neal set out some medicine for me. I feel much better now."

"Neal?" At that one word, Killian moved from the bench.

"Yeah." She watched as he moved to replace the dumbbells onto their rack. "Before he left for work, he laid some stuff out for me. But..." She waited until he turned to look at her. "Of course I came." She shrugged. "Neal bailed. I wouldn't leave you to it alone. So-"

"Ems."

His calling her out was a bit surprising. She looked up into those cautious eyes and waited.

Why was he so fidgety? Why was he looking at her as if the most important thing he could do was protect himself from her by keeping track of every single one of her movements? Why was he so damned apprehensive and stressed out?

"What?" she asked with a shake of her head, now fed up with his quietness.

"Ah." His gaze fell to some point on the floor in front of him. "It's… nothing. Nothing."

But apparently it was something. Something he had thought twice on about sharing.

What was it?

"Killian?" His actions were making her apprehensive and unsure.

He looked back at her, his eyes blinking over and over. "Nothing… Emma."

She didn't want to leave it at that. She wanted to know what has caused the awkwardness. She wanted to know what was wrong. Because she couldn't place that look. In the two years that she had known him, this was not something common for him.

What could have happened this morning to shake him up? Because he had been fine last night. He had entertained her need to unwind. And he had been… fine. So…

"Did you want… to start on the treadmill?" Killian asked her softly, finally meeting her eyes with his.

Emma took a tentative step towards him. He didn't back down, although he looked like maybe he wanted to.

"If I'm not throwing your workout off by being late," she said to him.

"No." And it was like he was consuming everything about her in that look he was giving her. "No, it's fine."

"Then," Emma smiled up at him, hoping to have it returned, "it sounds like a plan."

He didn't smile back, but gave a stiff nod.

Emma didn't like it. She didn't like the uncharacteristic aloofness about him. And he wasn't sharing. That wasn't like him either.

She would get it out of him. It was her new mission for the day. Because, as she watched as he led the way to the treadmills, it was clear to her that he needed to get something off of his chest.

.

.

He was clearly distracted. His distraction was only causing her to be distracted. Yes, the headache had completely subsided. She felt fine. But it was Killian's mood that had set her on edge.

She couldn't shake the feeling that it had something to do with her. What that could possibly be was beyond her though.

Emma was used to the music streaming from both of their earbuds which kept conversation at a minimum when they were on the treadmills. This was something different. It wasn't just his need to stay in complete focus without any side conversation. This was avoidance. Clear and cut dry avoidance.

It made her wonder if it had something to do with the night before. Try as she might, there was a haziness beyond the early stages of their evening. She remembered him meeting her at the bar. She remembered feeling a bit sad about his bringing up Ariel when it seemed as if they were going to have a night to themselves. She remembered feeling a bit… yeah, it was that jealousy thing again. Had she… offended him somehow? Emma couldn't remember anything beyond taking tequila shots to an open table. The start of many many tequila shots… But she had needed something to relax her. She just wanted an easy, fun, and free night. With him.

And now…

Killian was pushing himself. Hard. Why was she even there? What was the point when he kept her at arms' length or blatantly ignored her?

She waited until his set was over. She waited until he moved away from one more machine and tried to outstep her.

Maybe she should…

"Killian?"

He only threw her a brief glance as he tried to make his way to another machine.

"I'm going to try my hand at the elliptical for a little bit and then I'm going to get out of here." Since you don't seem to care either way.

He didn't even look at her. His attention instead on a spot on the floor.

"Ok." The mutter was thin and monotonous.

It was close to pissing her off. But she wasn't sure how in the mood she was for him to keep being so off-putting with her.

She was slow to turn, her head shaking with confusion.

"Emma, wait." She hadn't made it two steps.

When she turned back to look at him, she heard the string of muttered curses leaving his mouth. What was wrong with him this morning?

"What?" she asked, hoping he had the mindset to finally tell her what he had been thinking.

Killian looked up at her with wary eyes. His teeth scraped over his lip over and over again. But he stood there otherwise silent.

Emma took a step closer. What had him so on edge?

"Say-"

"Do you really not have an inkling, Emma?" he cut in before she could even start. And it looked like that fact pained him. "Do you truly have no memory as to what happened last night?"

Then it was about her…

Emma's steps were slow, careful, as she moved towards him. Something was eating him up, and it was about her.

When she stood directly in front of him, she saw a mixture of emotions. Did he want to turn tail and run? Maybe just a little bit. And that scared her. There was also something else there that she couldn't read.

"I drank a lot," she reminded him.

That earned her a small laugh as his eyes moved skyward. Another mutter of something she couldn't make out. And then he finally looked back at her.

A bit of apprehension was creeping through her

"What happened last night?" she asked in a whisper. She moved even closer. While she waited for him to answer her, her mind went on its own search.

First round of tequila shots. She was having fun. It was just the two of them. She'd had a bit of sadness over the fact that he'd brought up Ariel. Had she said something to hurt his feelings over that mouse?

Mouse? It sounded familiar to her.

"Did I say something?" she asked him, looking straight into his eyes.

Killian licked at his lips as he watched her. He took one more step closer, bringing their bodies within inches of one another.

"Emma." His tongue swept once again over his lip.

There was something intimate about the way they now stood. She didn't have time to be thinking about that fact, but she couldn't deny it.

Had she been this close to him last night?

Killian wouldn't come to the dance floor. He'd used the excuse of being dead tired. Emma had not pouted. If he wouldn't come to her then she would go to him.

His hand was slow to wrap around her arm, his eyes a bit sad and wondrous.

"What happened last night," he asked quietly, "was because you were drunk? It didn't mean anything?"

Her heart was now pounding. Her breathing had become deep and heavy.

"Tell me what I said, Killian, and then I can answer your question."

It was right there in front of her, but she dared not think it through. Had she said…

The memory was hazy.

Falling down into his lap. She liked the feel of his body under hers. She liked the feel of his shoulders and chest, she had noted to herself. So she moved her hands back and forth over him.

"You said…"

Emma felt like the memory was on the brink of coming back to her. That part of her had tensed up as she waited for him to speak.

"You said…"

Maybe he was dreading it the same way she was. Maybe it was inevitable- something that had to be spoken- but that didn't mean it wasn't difficult.

"You said that you loved me."

You're an idiot, Killian Jones. Two years. I've loved you for two years.

His fingers tightened on her arm just a fraction more.

"You said that you were in love with me, Emma."

I'm in love with you. And I have been in love with you, you idiot, for a very long time.

The memories were still fuzzy. They were only coming back in bits and pieces. But it was true. Private thoughts she'd had for years had come out in the light because of a drunken night. And it looked as if it had scared the hell out of him.

Emma swallowed hard. He was staring at her, but Emma was trying very hard to fill in the missing pieces.

"Emma."

"You kissed me," she reminded him softly, her chin lifting in the air as the memory dawned on her.

Killian's eyes blinked again and again.

"You kissed me."

"You kissed me back."

His hand fell away from hers and he took a step back.

The blur was trying to clear itself. She wanted to remember. Wanted to remember everything about that night.

"Did you mean it?"

She noticed how labored her breathing had become. She noticed the way he was looking at her. He had stepped back, but the glare was intense and it was strained.

"Did you want me to mean it?" she asked breathlessly.

What was happening? There was so much intensity in his gaze. Her own eyes haunted his. She needed to know. Why was this his reaction? Why hadn't he pulled her aside earlier and said how wrong it had been? Instead…

Emma listened to the string of curses come from his mouth. Maybe…

"No," he finally answered.

It didn't hurt. It could have. But she knew him. Maybe not as well as she thought she had.

"I meant it," she whispered. "I didn't mean to tell you, but I meant the words."

Emma wanted him to take her in his arms. She wanted him to kiss her even more breathless than she already was. It was unfair. She had bits and pieces of the memory of kissing him, but not the memory of how it felt. God, she just wanted to know.

This was crazy! Crazy because it was real.

Killian's silence ended as he took another step back.

"God dammit, Emma." His hand went to cover his mouth. He turned slightly away from her, his shoulders hunching over. "You weren't supposed to…" He was shaking his head.

She took in a deep breath as she watched his back. His reaction? What did it mean?

Killian looked at her from over his shoulder.

"Neal?"

And reality was thrown right back at her. Neal. Killian's best friend. Emma's boyfriend. It was a reality that she had been aware of the whole time. A reason why she had never acted.

"I love Neal," Emma confirmed.

"So?" Killian turned back towards her. His face was contorted into some kind of pain.

Her eyes darted as she tried to read him. What was real and what was the façade?

Her answer was honest, and the only one she had.

"It hasn't changed the truth. It hasn't stopped my feelings for you."

"This…" Killian stopped to take in a deep breath. "This isn't right, Emma."

The consummate good guy. But he had kissed her back. She knew that. Couldn't recall most of it, but she knew.

"Then why did you do it, Killian?" Emma took a step closer. "Why did you kiss me back?"

"Because," he said with a sigh, "I was in the wrong, too."

She thought she'd seem something that she'd never seen before within him. It was more than just the opposition of what they'd done in a drunken and passionate moment. It was something that she had never believed to be true.

Did he…

It made Emma inwardly smile. It made her heart beat faster. There was an excitement that she'd never felt before.

"I'm sorry I put you in this predicament, Killian," she told him. "What I didn't mean to do was for you to find out that way."

It should have been Emma who was eaten up with regret and sorrow. She should have felt guiltier about kissing her boyfriend's best friend. Instead, it had excited her to know that maybe- just maybe- there was a part of him that wanted her, too. Before now, it had never seemed possible.

"Emma, I…"

She didn't know what he would say. Didn't know how he wanted to handle this.

"We should just forget this," he finally said.

His solution seemed impossible to her. He had pressed her into the memory, and then said that they should forget it.

Emma understood. She had told him that she loved him, and she had also told him that she still loved Neal. She loved them both.

"And Neal," he continued, his voice becoming gravelly, "doesn't have to know. If you don't want to tell him."

He had come here this morning with a resolute decision, Emma mused. Where her head swam with the truth, his mind was set on fixing everything.

Where she knew her feelings should have settled because of the seriousness of the situation, his knowing was more of a catalyst to set things right. But Neal… She wasn't ready for that. Not when Killian felt that the subject was more or less taken care of.

"No, we don't have to tell Neal," she agreed.

His nod was jerky, his eyes once again blinking.

She wanted to kiss him. It was her first thought. So what did that say about her? It said that she wished that his reaction would have been different. That he would have put her first instead of Neal. But she understood. Neal equaled best friend. She equaled best friend's girlfriend.

"Okay. Good." He began to move then, as if putting this behind them.

Not so easily done.

"Killian?"

And he stopped right where he stood.

"It was true," she told him. And it was firm. No room for misinterpretation. "Every single thing that I said was true."

Absolutely no room for misinterpretation.

"And I won't tell Neal."

She knew that it was for her benefit, but it wasn't the response that she wanted.

There was a bit of fear for the first time. If their friendship suffered from her drunken confession… then what?

Looking at him now, seeing the indecision crossing his face, she knew it was something she was not ready for.

It wasn't fair. She knew that he had been hit with a bombshell, but there had to be more.

"Killian?"

His face was a picture of indecisiveness. "Emma."

"I need you to be honest with me," she told him softly. "You kissed me back. You look as shook up as you possibly could. I understand it was a shock. I know that you want to protect Neal. But none of that tells me how you feel about what I said to you last night." Emma paused. Because there was a part of her which thought that it wasn't just hopefulness, but an actual grain of truth in there.

"How… do you feel… Killian? About me?"

'Emma." He paused to turn completely around to face her. "It doesn't matter because you are with Neal."

"And yet I love you," she noted softly.

She saw the squirm. In that squirm, she also saw a truth that couldn't be denied.

"Neal doesn't deserve any of this, Emma," Killian reminded her. "So we chalk it up to one drunk night. And we forget it." With that, he pulled back away from her.

Emma couldn't help the inward smile and the lightness of her heart. He wanted it to be over, but she knew. It was anything but over.