Carlisle

July 1921

As much as I relished any time spent with Esme, our time spent together while Edward was miles away at college, was spent not without challenge. I had her all to myself until my nightly rounds at the hospital, a concept that managed to both thrill and frighten me.

I had somehow managed my distance during the early stages of our courtship, savoring the simple smiles and occasional hug that would render me a lovesick fool until the end of the day. However, since our first kiss, we had both been unable to keep our hands off of each other. It was a tangible force that brought us closer together, almost magnetic in its strength. I felt compelled to be near her at all moments, and felt a strange sense of longing when I spent any length of time without her presence. I assumed this was normal between mated vampires, although Esme and I had not even come close to the act I so greatly desired. It secretly thrilled me to note that she wanted it to. She was always eager to receive my hungry kisses, her small hands clawing at my shirt, pulling me closer and closer to her, as if she couldn't get enough of me. I had never remembered being so wanted, so desired.

These advances presented quite a quandary. My instincts and desires as both a man and a vampire, urged me on with every open-mouthed kiss and every feathery stroke of Esme's hand but the more practical gentleman in my head reminded me that we were not yet married and that I very much wanted to respect Esme in every way possible, even when Esme urged me on and tested my faith.

We sat in the parlor after an early morning run. I had been making an attempt to engage Esme in activities that were more appropriate for our courtship. We had been doing substantially better in the last few weeks, our daily reminders from Edward of our lewd thoughts in his presence serving to embarrass us into proper behavior.

Esme sat next to me,trying with utmost carefulness to sew a button onto a newly completed dress. Her eyes squinted in concentration, a gesture I found adorable. She sighed harshly when she misjudged the pressure and snapped the needle in two, sending her sweet orange blossom scent toward me. A low purring vibrated low in my chest and two amber eyes rose up to meet mine.

"Carlisle." She muttered lowly, noting the darkening of my eyes.

She was in my lap in less than a second and I groaned into her mouth as her slender fingers rifled through my hair, the sensation quickly becoming too much for me. Nonetheless I couldn't find the will to stop, the sensations shooting down my spine far too delicious to imagine ever stopping. The feelings Esme provoked in me were far greater than the pleasure found in drinking even the greatest of mountain lions. I broke contact with her mouth to gently move the curtain of hair away from her neck, I peppered her with slow kisses and she threw her head back, urging me on to the crescent moon on her neck that I found so shamefully erotic. My lips hovered over the scar for a millisecond before my mouth began to suck lightly at her neck, she grasped my shoulders tightly, whimpering so desperately that my trousers began to feel uncomfortably tight. I managed to pull back to caress her cheek, drawing hearts onto the mole under her eye. I needed a moment to remember who I was and what I believed but the soft body squirming in my lap made the effort unimaginably challenging.

Esme's black eyes bore into mine as she clawed hungrily underneath my dress shirt, her hand rubbing my chest only through the thin fabric of my undershirt, rising my lust to new levels as I imagined her tiny hands stroking my bare chest, her soft bosom-

"Carlisle, please do it again." She whispered

She need not say the action she wished me to repeat as I knew from her whimper that she enjoyed my nibbling at her neck as much as I enjoyed doing it. I sighed as I contemplated my strength and whether or not I'd be able to complete the action again without lustfully ripping her clothes off.

"Please" She begged, her hips subconsciously twitching with her impatience. That was what sent me off the plank, that friction, even though existing for the smallest moment sent me into a frenzy. I sucked hungrily at her neck as I gently pushed her into the couch's soft pillows. My mouth met with hers once again and I kissed her with renewed vigor, our tongues dancing in the warm tavern of her mouth. It was only when her hand ventured down slowly to my belt that I was brought back down to Earth. I was on the other side of the room in a half of a second, taking steady breaths and trying to focus on anything other than rejoining Esme's embrace.

"I'm sorry." Esme said in a small voice as she embarrassingly smoothed out her skirts.

"No, I'm sorry. This is undoubtedly my fault. I pounced on you like little more than an animal. " I responded, glancing up to see her disheveled appearance.

She looked down then and fingered the tassel of a dark green pillow, her expression unreadable. I was at her side in an instant. My hand brushed hers and she accepted it without hesitation.

"Esme." I whispered but she wouldn't meet my eyes.

It was only once I held her cheek in my palm that her eyes finally met mine. A horrible sinking feeling replaced the lust in my belly when I realized that I had somehow injured Esme's feelings.

I leaned my forehead to hers,"Talk to me."

"I'm sorry." She uttered again, making me feel utterly miserable.

I leaned back to look at her.

"For what, my love?" I questioned gently, inviting her into my arms. She took her time responding, first finding a comfortable spot against my chest before speaking. Her fingers played with a button on my shirt.

"I'm sorry if I did something wrong. I just wanted to please you." She said shakily

I lifted her chin so I could meet her eyes.

"Esme, you didn't do anything wrong. I just feel very strongly about waiting until we are married, you know that." I reminded her as I stroked her cheek lovingly.

She seemed to relax then. The tension noticeably left her shoulders and allowed me to relax as well.

"I know this seems silly, given the current situation we were just in, but for just a moment I thought it was because you didn't want me." She admitted softly, waving her hand in the air as if her concern was nothing.

My heart sank. I held closer to me, never wanting to let her go.

"I can assure you that will never be the case. I want you in every sense of the word. Believe me when I say I've never desired anyone more than I desire you." I whispered into her hair

She looked up at me with doe eyes, "I love you." She said

"As I love you." I replied, gently closing the remaining distance between our mouths, so that they could meet once again.