Hello again! Wow I'm spoiling you. Making up for all the time between posts.
Here you are!
Thank you for your lovely reviews
Love you all.
Keep happy and reviewing.
Gah! I'm sorry about this disgrace of a chapter! I don't know what happened! I hit a very high, very thick mental wall and EVERYTHING went downhill!!!!
Tears don't fall.
Atemu.
I remember all your broken promises
I'm furious.
I'm frustrated.
I'm frightened.
I'm......
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"
.......losing my temper......fantastic....
Ryou jumped backward. Several people swivelled around in shock. I saw Scott raise his eyebrows, catching my outburst as he entered the club. The white haired boy- no...man- watched me with surprise and wonder.
"It is you! Oh my God! Atemu, I can't believe I've found you!" He babbled
I stooped down and picked up the notebook, putting it on the table before I threw it at him. I kept the table between us, refusing to move round to him. I glared at him through hostile, wary eyes.
"Why are you here?"
"Coincidence! I swear!"
"I don't believe in coincidence."
Ryou frowned and seemed to be taking me in for the first time. His gaze flickered to my throat, my scarred throat. I pulled my collar up, hiding it. Something rippled through Ryou's eyes. Pity? Anger at my sudden departure all those years ago?
"You've changed, Atemu. You look so different."
I nodded stiffly. He hadn't changed at all. But I guess he knew that. MY arms folded about my chest, drawing myself in. He leant forward, pressing his stomach against the edge of the table.
"Sit down, Atemu. Can we talk?"
"No, we can't. I'm busy and I don't want to talk to you."
"Why not? I haven't done anything to hurt you."
"You're not part of my life anymore."
That's when I noticed the phone he swirled aimlessly in his hands. My whole body went on lock down. I tensed, my body snapping rigid. Ryou noticed and placed the phone on the table, pushing it towards me.
"I should tell Yugi where you are."
I snarled. A sound I hadn't made for years. Ryou seemed unaffected, merely fingering the phone. I darted forward and snatched it up, squeezing it between my hands.
"You will do no such thing! He has no right to know where I am!"
"Actually I have to say he does."
"No! No , he doesn't!"
"Atemu, you're yelling, calm down."
"Don't tell me what to do!"
I was all too aware that I was bordering on pure panic. But anger was fuelling the words that were leaping unrestrained from my throat. Ryou reached down into his pocket and pulled out a small, slim black phone. I gapped and blinked in confusion.
"I always have a spare. The one you're holding is my spare." I shook in silent hatred "Sit down Atemu."
Feeling cornered, I sank down into the chair. Ryou nodded in encouragement but I did nothing but glare at him.
"You've been gone so long we gave up hope we'd ever see you again."
"Good! That's what I wanted."
"Yes, I can see that now. I never dreamed that you'd move here, to the city."
I shrugged "Kyle brought me here."
"Kyle? Who's he?"
"My friend."
"So are we, Atemu."
"No you're not!"
Ryou sighed, seeming to have expected me to say that. For the first time since he came, he looked away from me, finding the table top suddenly interesting. "We are your friends. You can deny it and push us away all you want but nothing will change that fact."
"You aren't my friends. You don't have the right to say that."
He looked back up at me, his eyes filling with sorrow "I know I don't. But I mean it."
"I don't want you to mean it."
Ryou's phone rang suddenly, startling me. Ryou looked at it guiltily, pressing it to his ear in a fluid movement.
"Bakura?"
I froze. ...again
"I'm fine. Yes, I'm just out for a drink. I can't come to see Yugi tonight. I'm busy. Of course, I'll call him and let him know. You go and behave. I'll see you at home tonight."
I shoved away from the table, feeling betrayed again. Ryou hung up and watched me, a new form of tiredness sweeping through his eyes. A new form of anger flowing around my veins. I grabbed his arm, hauling him to his feet and dragging him toward the door. I shoved him out the door, throwing the phone after him. He stumbled, bracing himself against the wall. He turned to me, hurt flashing in his eyes. I seized his arm again, twisting it in what I knew was a bruising, painful grip.
"Listen to me. Breathe a word of me to anyone and I'll hunt you down." I growled. He gasped, wriggling in my grip. My face softened and I let go of him, rubbing his damaged arm gently "Ryou, I don't want to be found. I want you to leave me alone. I never want to look at any of you again. You nearly ruined my life!"
I don't know what he said after that. I walked away and left him on the pavement to absorb my words.
.....what was that feeling?.....regret?
I stomped up the shared bedroom, much to the shock of my friends. Once there, I stood and gazed unseeingly at the room. Who was he to come here and demand that I inform Yugi of where I was? Four years! Why had he come back? Coincidence he said. I don't believe in that. But he sounded so surprised. Was it possible that he honestly had no idea I'd be here? God! I hate them! I can't forget what I can't forgive. It's not in my nature. I hold grudges and use them as weapons. In a fit of unexpected anger I swept everything on my desk onto the floor with a crash. I regarded the mess of pens, books, drink cans with satisfaction. The desk itself followed the items, falling with a jolt that shook the room. I didn't care and picked up a book, hurling it at the wall. CDs, DVDs, wires, books, everything was tossed around the room. Soon I was screaming in anger and fresh pain. Drowning in memories I didn't want to remember.
"I HATE THEM!"
Crash!
"THEY RUINED MY LIFE!"
Shatter!
"LIARS! HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO ME?"
Bang!
"I HATE THEM SO MUCH! HEAR ME? I HATE THEM! I WISH I'D NEVER EVER MET THEM!"
Rip!
"WHY?! HE HAD NO RIGHT! I DON'T NEED THEM!"
A wild punch. Contact with the mirror. Flare of pain searing through my knuckle. Blood flowing. Glass pocking. Glass falling to the floor with a crash.
"SON OF A BITCH! THAT HURT!"
The pain didn't stop me. I ripped the posters of the wall, tearing out the pages of my books. Footsteps pounded up the stairs and I realised what I mess I'd made. I didn't care. I couldn't stop throwing objects away from me. Cursing names and passed events.
"Atemu! Stop it!" Scott yelled
He seized my hands, jerking my arms behind my back. I struggled, cursing him. He didn't let go, choosing instead to pull my back against his chest with a strength I didn't know he possessed.
"Let me go, Scott!" I ordered
"No, I won't." Scott breathed against my ear "You'll hurt yourself again."
"Let me go you bastard!"
"Stop calling me names, Até."
"No! Let me go!"
"KYLE! KYLE! QUICK! IT'S ATEMU!"
"Traitor!" I accused
"That didn't even make sense."
"Damn I know!"
I heard a gasp at the door, Kyle, I assumed. He walked forward, grinding glass and papers beneath his feet. I struggled wildly, unable to admit that I was overpowered. Kyle grabbed my shoulders, forcing me with Scott out of the room. I dug in my heels, grunting as they shoved and tugged at my arms. Lucy and Jamie hovered in the hallway, unsure and wanting to help. Scott and Kyle paused, pulling me to a stop, Scott adjusted his grip on me, releasing my arms to wrap his around my chest. I wildly lashed out, grazing Scott's top with my bloody fist.
"You got a good grip on him?" Kyle asked
"Oh yeah! He's not getting away!"
"Scott, if you don't let me go, I'll start throwing punches." I warned
"Try it."
"Go clean up his hand. Jamie, Lucy, with me." Kyle ordered
Scott hauled me to the bathroom, locking the door behind us and pushing me down onto the toilet lid. Once seated, I gave up struggling and sagged. I didn't react when Scott lifted my hand to examine it. I did nothing when he started pulling at the glass with tweezers. The boiling, raw emotions had faded into a drug like haze. Scott was angry with me. I could tell by the way he wasn't looking at me. There was no concern in his clear eyes. I hung my head and whimpered quietly.
A fool.
I'm such a fool.
Scott paused, the tweezers hovering above the torn flesh. He sighed and guided me to my feet toward the sink, holding my hand under the running tap. I leant against him, drained, both emotionally and physically. Gently, Scott washed away the dried blood, continuing to free the slivers of glass. Once done, he sat me back down on the toilet lid. Pulling out a bandage from the cupboard, he wrapped it around my knuckles.
"Até. What happened man?" He asked
I said nothing, shaking my head. Scott knelt down, placing both his hands on my shoulders. I risked a timid glance at him, feeling a weight leave my heart when I saw concern shining in his eyes. I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder, a silent reassurance to my friend, hoping it said what I could not. Scott leant forward until our foreheads touched.
"Who was that man?"
"Someone I used to know. It startled me seeing him again. Memories."
"So you felt the need to trash our room?"
I flinched "I'm sorry."
"It's all right. What did he want?"
"He wanted me to go back to them. I don't want to."
"You don't have too."
Scott leant back, watching me, waiting to see what I wanted. I reached out for him, Scott complied, folding me against his chest. Not the embrace of a lover but the embrace of a best friend.
"Scott, I need to know...."
"Ask."
"You're my best friend right? No matter what I do."
"I'm always going to be your best friend you idiot."
"Thank you."
I yawned, tiredness slamming into me with a force. Scott smiled and wordlessly pulled me to my feet.
"Our room's a mess, as you know, but I'm sure Kyle won't mind if you crash out on his bed."
"Okay."
I was guided into the neat, clean room and Scott lowered me onto the bed, swiftly pulling my boots off.
"Go to sleep, you silly Egyptian."
"Mmm." I muttered
I don't remember losing my eyes but I did. The darkness was welcoming. A part of me.
I opened my eyes, blinking, registering the throbbing pain in my hand. A stab of guilt hit my gut when I remembered the mess I'd made. Standing and stretching, I hurried to my bedroom. Scott and Kyle were in my room, Kyle picking up the shards of glass and Scott tapping pages back into a wrecked book. I hovered near the doorway, wondering what I should do. Kyle hissed when he cut his finger on a sharp edge of glass. Hearing it, I crossed the room and crouched down beside him.
"Atemu." Kyle greeted "How are you, mate?"
"Fine." I mumbled, pulling his cut finger toward me.
I clicked my tongue at the oozing blood and whipped it on my own blooded shirt.
"Atemu, you'll mess up your shirt." He warned
"Don't care. My fault you're hurt."
Kyle rolled his eyes. I glanced at Scott, he was relaxed, the fear and anger had gone. With Kyle's blood beginning to stop flowing, I stood up and sat beside Kyle.
"I'm sorry I wrecked our room."
"No foul. It's easily cleaned. Never liked that mirror anyway."
" I guess I over reacted."
"You're entitled to."
I looked down at the book he was fixing. IT was one of mine, I read it whenever I got the chance.
"You don't have to fix it."
"Yes, I do. It's your favourite."
I smiled. Scott finished binding the spine and placed it back under the pillow of my freshly made bed.
"I'll pay for the mirror to be replaced." I offered
"Yes you will." Scott said sternly before whispering "We'll go halves. Can't let you have all the fun."
"If you say so. What are we doing today?"
"I haven't got a clue." Kyle smiled. Then casted a pointed look at Scott. Scott stiffened, then wriggled uncomfortably beside me. I threw him a concerned glance. "Give it to him, Scott."
"No. I don't want to upset him."
"Scott! Give!"
"Give what?" I asked
Scott took a deep breath and turned suddenly fearful eyes to me. I didn't like the expression on him. It reminded me too much on the other half off my soul. I wanted to make it better but wasn't sure how. That's when I realised. His fear was off me, of what I would do when he gave me this thing.
"Atemu. That man, the one who upset you left this." He handed me Ryou's 'spare' phone. "And said when he felt the time was right you would get a call."
I took it off him, sliding it into my pocket "Thank you."
He visibly relaxed. I squeezed his shoulder, a silent plead for him not to be scared. I don't think he understood but he smiled none the less. I pocketed the phone with shrug. They could contact me all they want, I won't reply to them.
I might be stubborn.....
....But I'm still a fool for love......
I slept fitfully.
In my sleep I dreamed.
In my dream I cried.
I found only darkness in this hideous nightmare. Endless. Thick. Overpowering. I walk forward, walking on nothing, seeing nothing.
"Hello?"
"Loser..."
"Who's there?"
Laughter
"What's that sound?
Drip.
"Scum..."
Drip.
"Pharaoh...."
"What is this?"
Glass SHATTER.
Is that wall.....bleeding?
That's not possible.
But it is.
Crimson blood is leaking from the darkness. The darkness can't bleed. It has no feeling. It's empty. A dark stain off liquid death is snaking toward me, lapping at my boots. Glass slashes at my face, my neck. I can't work out why this is so familiar. I scream, thrashing, recoiling. Tall people, making me fell small, intimidated. A blonde haired man....hooded eyes....lips twisted in disgust. I know him....and I know what comes next.
"Faggot!"
Slam!
A fist hits tender flesh. Even in a dream it hurts. I jerked backward, only to be thrown forward when a kick connects with my back. Blood pouring from my face. A shard of glass hurtles toward my chest and suddenly the figure snaps into focus.
....Yugi....
Holding the glass. He's going to kill me. I can't allow myself to die. But I will....because the light always wins. I will always fade to it.
That frightens me.
I scream.
The shard descends.
"STOP! PLEASE! STOP!"
".....Aibou....Yami..."
"ATEMU!"
"Atemu! Hey, stop it! You're okay! Atemu!"
"Scott...?"
"Hey, dude. Welcome back."
"...."
"You've got to stop doing that. You're going to give me a heart attack!"
"..."
"You okay?"
"....Fine..."
"You sure?"
"Yes....go away....I'm tired."
"All right. If you're sure."
"I am. Good night."
But I didn't sleep. I didn't want to see the dreams again.
Text message:
To: Atemu.
From: Ryou.
Can I tell them where you are?
Text message:
To: Ryou.
From: Atemu.
Do it and I'll rip out your throat!
Text message:
To: Atemu.
From: Ryou.
You miss him. I know you do.
Text message:
To: Ryou
From: Atemu.
Never.
Text message:
To: Atemu.
From: Ryou.
One day I'll tell him.
Text message:
To: Ryou
From: Atemu.
Leave me be.
Text message:
To: Atemu.
From: Ryou
Fine. Enjoy your life.
Text message:
To: Atemu.
From: Ryou.
I won't give up.
SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! SORRY!
I don't deserve reviews for THIS monstrosity!