Hello everyone! New chapter, hope you like it. This is the THIRD TIME I've written this! Every other time I lost it! ARGH! Talk about a nightmare! So now, I'm writing this in anger, please bear that in mind!
Anyways,
Keep happy and reviewing!
Much love
Atemu.
Tears don't fall.
Play the games. Don't fall for the traps.
Long ago I worked out my strength. The one thing that set me apart from everyone. I have a tactically good mind. I can find the dents and weakness in an enemies defence and use it against them. I can turn it into my strength. I AM the King of Games. I will win these games I play with past faces.
Aibou, I'm so sorry. Do you see what you've reduced me too? I need to win, to play my sadistic games with you. I must learn to protect my fragile heart. Just as you must learn to let me.
I am a master of mind games. I used to take a person's greed and selfish motives and turn it against them. Force them into their own nightmares, to live in insanity until they have atoned. All the while knowing they would never do this. An evil soul can never change.
I can't ever remember teaching Yugi how to use this weapons against man. But he knows. He left me, alone, in my own waking nightmare and didn't come back for me.
I know now what I must do....
...Play the games. Don't fall for the traps....
I know Yugi will try and trap my doubting heart. I can't allow it. Yet I don't know how to prevent it.
...Let me lay these demons to rest...
The ones that don't sleep and the ones that grant me no piece of mind...
The ones whispering 'The Darkness' Son has no need off love'
The ones I need you to chase away at night....The ones I need saving from....
The letter Yugi left behind him, opened a part of me I thought I had long buried. A part of me I'm not glad to see has survived. It's small, childlike, begging for love and affection. I've been denying it for four years, I don't know how to appease it. It won't stop aching, won't stop threatening to cry. I don't like the idea that words can make me feel this way. That's why the paper's banished to my draw, to collect dust with the Duel monsters cards while I think of a strategy.
.....No way out.....
I should call Yugi. I know I should. That's why I'm staring at the phone. He won't call me. Ryou would, so would Kiaba, Bakura and...Jou, if pushed. I'm expecting one of them to call. I don't want Jou to call. He doesn't exactly scare me but he does make nervous.
Admit it....you're terrified off him....and he knows....deal with THAT Pharaoh!
....One little hit....and you hide from him...coward....
I glanced over at the dresser hiding the phone, picking out the machine in the darkness. I'm not going to call, I know this. I can't do it. I can't trust my voice not to break or my anger not to erupt. Can't trust myself....
Groaning, I threw myself backward onto the bed, scowling at the ceiling, making patterns on it. Footsteps were moving around downstairs, chairs being scrapped across the floor, mumbled conversations but no one moved to see me. The closed door acted as a guard, they didn't want to cross it. I didn't want to get them. So they left me, writhing in the darkness, thinking they were helping when I needed someone beside me.
I want you beside me....But I promise you'll never know....
My eyes closed, mind drifting. Somewhere along the lines I fell asleep.
Buzz...
I twitched. I couldn't understand the noise that had invaded my dream.
Buzz...
My alarm clock?
Buzz....
An incoherent noise left my lips as I forced myself into awareness. What on earth was that noise?
BUZZ!!!
....Is the dresser buzzing at me?
..Oh no...
All fatigue left my system as I realised what was making the noise. I watched it, the screen flashed, displaying a name I knew but couldn't read. Warily I stood up, crossing the room silently. I bent down retrieving the phone, feeling it vibrate in my hands. Before I realised it, my hands had accepted the call and brought it to my ear.
"Yes?"
Don't acknowledge the name, Atemu.
"Pharaoh. It's Bakura."
"What do you want?"
"We want to meet with you. Talk things through."
"Funny. Now, really, why did you call?"
"Have you gone deaf? We want to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk to you."
"We want to talk to you."
"....I want you to leave me alone." Somewhere in there, a defence had dropped, a part of me was laid bare. And he heard it. A sigh left his mouth.
"We can't. Understand that."
"But I don't."
There was a scuffle in the background, murmured outburst and the noise drew away. Frowning I waited for someone to return. My frown deepened with who picked up the phone.
"Yami."
"My name is Atemu, Kiaba."
"Yami." He repeated. "Why don't you want to talk to us?"
"Because I have better things to do than to play with the past."
"Need I remind you that you're the past."
"Not this me. Stop calling me. I have no need to speak to you."
"Until you agree, I'll keep calling."
"You're in for a long wait. I won't come."
Silence...I think I've won...
"Aibou? Yami?"
"....Yugi....?"
"Yes. Yami-Atemu- please, meet with us. Even if it's just for a few minutes. We need to talk to you...I need to talk to you. Please? For me?"
"...."
"Atemu? Are you there?"
"...Okay. I'll meet you...."
"Really? Where?"
"Can you find the park?"
"Yes! I'm sure we can!"
"Meet me there a two. Bring the....gang....along as well...."
"Are you sure?" Suddenly his voice was tender, not excited.
"No. But I'll do it."
"Atemu...."
I hung up on him before I heard what he said.
....What have I gotten myself into?...
My watch had just hit five past two when I entered the park. I glanced around it, momentarily distracted by the gleeful families. Something I could never have....at least...not the way I'm going. My eyes found the one my heart cowered from, surrounded by the past and my first reaction was to run. I took several steps back, before I recovered myself and stood still.
These demons I face....will never run...I can't escape from them...I'll face them and pull through. Maybe...you'll be there with me.
With false confidence I marched across the space between us, waiting for them to notice me. Now that I studied them without anger, I could see the change in them. Yugi was taller, he had matured now. He was beautiful, far more so than he had been years ago. I wanted to see his eyes, knowing I would fall but hoping I wouldn't.
Seto was there, standing tall and proud. The flowing coat was still wrapped around his body was grey, falling to his boots. He hadn't seen me. My eternal rival.
Bakura and Ryou, the identical twins, more so than myself and Yugi. Neither one had changed much, Bakura's eyes still held wildness and anger but they had dulled. Ryou's eyes blazed with confidence, new found and strong. Despite myself, I smiled.
And then there was Jou...my lost best friend. Time had not altered him, it had altered our bond. Left wrung out and broken at my feet, walked on by his. I had no desire as of yet to fix it. Besides....I didn't break it....he did.
I stopped, a few feet away from them. They all sat under the trees, watching the leaves swirl above them and the grass play underneath them. A nearby lake glistened in the sunlight.
"What did you want?" I asked.
Play the game by my rules. Keep a calm voice. Cold and composed.
A startled gasp emitted from everyone and they swivelled around as if one body to face me. I refused to cringe away. Yugi's eyes found mine, I held his gaze before glancing irritably away. I was aware of him climbing to his feet, his gaze never leaving mine.
"We didn't think you were coming." Ryou smiled.
"I gave you my word, didn't I?" I snapped
He shrunk back, Bakura's jaw clenched. Frowning I dragged my hand over my eyes. Waiting for them to start the conversation.
"You look good."Kiaba complimented.
I nodded at him "Kiaba."
Something swirled in his eyes, an emotion I didn't know. I shrugged, turning to look up at the sky.
"Why did you bring me here?"
"To talk. We want to make peace with you." Bakura clarified
"You can't 'make peace' with me!"
"Don't get angry, Pharaoh."
"I'll get angry if I want to."
"Sit down and lets talk like adults." He ordered sternly
My jaw snapping shut I lowered myself onto the ground, making sure there was space between, myself and Yugi who sat down on my right and Seto on my left. I looked up and met the eyes of Jou. He was hopeful, regretful and I wasn't sure how to react. Annoyed, I looked away. I pretended I didn't hear the sigh that left his mouth. Suddenly I was aware of a hand hovering beside me, so like my own and yet belonging to a completely different soul. Yugi's hand never touched me but I knew his longing. I hung my head, fiddling with my hands, waiting but no one spoke.
"Tell me what you've come to say." I finally muttered
"I haven't planned what to say to you." Yugi's voice spoke. I stiffened. "I thought I'd know as soon as I saw you. I thought the words would come. But I don't know."
"You've all been so insistent since you've learnt where I live. What do you have to say to me?"
"...I'm sorry, Yami. What we did was wrong."
"Why are you apologising now? Why didn't you apologise at the time?"
"I don't know. I was so surprised, I had no idea what to say to you."
"But you could have tried. Just one word."
"I know!" Jou suddenly cried "Four years regret! With this...guilt hanging over me! Not knowing where you were drove us all nuts."
"I apologise if my actions inconvenienced you."
"Don't talk like that!"
"What do you want me to say? That I forgive you? Tell you it's all water under the bridge and invite you back for a drink?"
"I want us to be friends again! I want Yugi to have his Yami back. Can't you understand what you leaving did to us?"
"Jou..." Ryou cautioned, I barely heard him and Jou seemed determined to ignore him
"No, I can't! How could the and I quote 'Faggot' leaving possibly upset you?"
"Because you're my friend!"
"Correction. I was your friend! Right up until you ruined my life!"
"Atemu..." Somebody...Yugi I think...cautioned
Jou's voice softened and his eyes dropped. "I never meant to ruin your life, Yams. I didn't understand, part of me still doesn't."
"That's not my fault. As a friend you should have tried to understand. That's all I wanted...someone to understand."
"Can't we start over?"
"I don't know."
"Atemu. That's why we're here. To start over." Ryou said quietly "We want to be the old gang again."
"Like we used to when we were young." Yugi smiled wistfully, caught in memories. "Remember that? The good times? Saving the world?"
"The day I lost you to Dartz?" He stiffened, amethyst eyes rising to meet me. "Did you ever forgive me?"
"Yes! Yes, I did! You didn't mean it!"
"Oh."
"Atemu, I missed you, so much. And I am so, so sorry about what happened and what I couldn't stop."
"It doesn't change anything."
"I know. Give us one chance."
"What's to stop you from doing it again?"
"The thought of losing you again. This time possibly forever."
I studied him, those eyes so sincere, promising things he couldn't possibly keep. Things he didn't have the right too.
"Yugi...the mind link...I can't....unlock it."
"Why not?"
"I can't get hurt again."
"I understand."
I nodded and rose to my feet. Eyes followed me, begging, hoping, trying to convince me to stay.
"I have to go back. The others are expecting me, I didn't tell them I was going out."
"Wait!" Yugi cried "One last thing?" I waited. "Do they treat you well? Like we should have?"
"They treat me like you used to. Before you turned against me."
Yugi nodded, his hand reaching out to take mine, before falling short. My hand itched to take his but it remained limply by my side.
Only you know....one touch could be my undoing....
"Goodbye, Atemu." Yugi whispered "Could we possibly meet again?"
"I...suppose so. If you feel you must."
"What do you want?"
"I don't know."
Before he could make a response, I turned away. Walking into the dying sunlight, I knew not to risk a glance behind me at the young man who knew he owned my heart. I'm not going to look at my lost best friend nor my eternal rival who now I can see wants to be something more....a friend?
Upon my arrival at the apartment, the door flew open before I could put my key into the lock. I met an angry Jamie. I raised an eyebrow as I stepped past him.
"Where were you?"
"Out."
"With him?"
"Just out."
A snort left his mouth and he left the room, muttering under his breath. Scott appeared beside me.
"What's wrong with him?" I wondered
"He's just being a jerk. Ignore him."
"Oh."
"So, you met Yugi then?"
"Yes?"
"And...what happened?"
"They want to start anew."
"What do you say to that?"
I just shrugged and turned to my room.
Yugi...I know what you want....but how can I be sure?
....Jou...I....don't know HOW to forgive you....
Play the game. Don't fall for the traps.
Why do I feel I've fallen for someone's trap?
.............
Well....you like?