Chapter 3
I'm Lost Without You
Just when you were dreaming of a beautiful beach with the sun shining above you, perfectly tanning your not pregnant body, you were forcefully awakened by the ringing of a phone… your phone.
"Sh-sh-shakin' my head, sh-sh-shakin' my head (Shakin' my head)
Sh-sh-shakin' my head, sh-sh-shakin' my head (Shakin' my head)"
You put the ringtone especially for Mercedes. Her first number one hit in her career ever and you had to admit it has a catchy tone.
"Ahhhh wheezy can't you let me sleep in peace!" you say as you accept the call without opening your eyes.
"Come on Satan it has to be almost one in the afternoon in New York. Oh by the way I have news I am coming to New York in two days so be prepared because I'm going to whip your ass out of that bed and shove you into the first shopping mall that crosses our way. I haven't seen you in ages, gurrrl."
You open your eyes and freeze at her words. You didn't tell anybody that you moved to Boston except for Quinn because she is your attorney and has to be informed on every move you make.
Everybody thinks you still live in New York and live a happily married life. You don't know how you will get out of this but you need a plan, now!
"Hey Mercedes listen I got a call right now on the second line I have to go okay I'll call you back." you try to hush her and end the conversation as soon as possible. And when you succeed you make your way to the living room looking for Brittany like crazy.
"Britt! Britt! Where are you? Are you in the bathroom?" you knock on the bathroom door hard because sometimes she has her earphones in and will not answer. After nothing comes you open the door and peek inside but there is no Brittany in sight but Lord Tubbington is using his toilet.
"Sorry, Tubbs I'm looking for Brittany did you see her?"
"Miau, miau, miau!" He is definitely not amused about the unexpected visitor.
"Okay, okay I'll leave gosh! It's not like you walk around in clothes, Tubbs. We see you naked all the time!" You say rolling your eyes. As long as Brittany doesn't see you rolling eyes at Tubbs you are safe. You close the door and you are so close to panic. Where to frickidy-frick is she?!
You see her bedroom door wide open and if this is the case it means she is not there either. Your last destination is the kitchen and there you find a note on the table.
Went to gets my danzzz on #imitatingSantanaLopez
;) Britt
Britt was really original you have to give her credit for that but you have a big problem now and need to get a hold of her. No seconds be wasted you call her the moment you see the note.
"Pick up, pick up, pick up!" But it goes to voice mail after several rings. You know Brittany leaves her phone in her bag that she puts in her locker in the changing room but with you being pregnant you thought Brittany would be thinking of being available at all times. So you have no other choice than go to the studio. You have the note still in your palm and when you flip it over you see another note.
don't forget breakfast look in the fridge!
Right, breakfast. Something you seem to forget often but you are pregnant now you have to be more careful.
She made you omelet and eggs and oh thank God without bacon. You are sure the pregnancy symptoms will be your end in the near future. You can't eat or even smell meat anymore.
After you have eaten like you were in a competition you make your way to the subway and arrive at the studio a half an hour later. You push the big glass doors open and go straight to the stairs and you see yourself climbing slowly up the stairs. It's the baby's fault.
God you can't wait to have that baby out of your belly and hold it in your arms. At that you remember you have an appointment with Dr. Fleming next Monday. The gender will hopefully be seen this time.
You reach the third floor and hear music blast out of the studio.
Before you enter you see Brittany dancing on her own in the middle of a song.
"Getting money (Gettin' money)
Divas getting money (Money)
If you ain't getting money
Then you ain't got nothing for me (Girl!)
Tell me somethin' (Tell me somethin')
Where your boss at? (Where your boss at?)
Where my ladies up in here
That like to talk back (That like to talk back, Girl!)
I wanna see ya (I wanna see ya)
I'd like to meet cha (I'd like to meet ya)
What you said (Not to me)
She ain't no diva (She ain't no diva)
(Na, na, na) Diva is a (Ow)
Female version of a hustla (Yeah!) (Eeehh)
Of a hustla, (Yeah)
Of a, of a hustla
(Na, na, na) Diva is a female version of a hustla
Of a hustla (Yeah) Of a, of a hustla (Ow)
She moves so effortlessly, with so much feeling in her legs, arms and even fingertips. Every move is choreographed however it looks flawlessly done.
She 'wipes her nose on her thumbs' and you can't believe she put that in the choreography.
You didn't get to see her dance like that since nationals in 2012. But she is so much better now. The years had no impact on her.
The song comes to an end eventually and you make your presence known, before she can start another song, by pausing the stereo system.
"Hey, Britt" you greet her and she turns around surprise written on her face.
"Hi, San what are you doing here? You never come to the studio." She says out of breath and you hand her a water bottle you found on the floor next to the stereo system. She seems really thirsty and chokes almost on it.
"If I had known that you improved your dancing so much I would have talked to Mercedes and made you her back-up dancer a long time ago." you chuckle and she tells you to stop it.
"Then I wouldn't be able to save the world with my genius brain, San." She winks at you to show you that she is joking.
"I may not understand all the mathematical formulas but I know that your brain will save the world rather sooner than later." you reassure her, she is a professor at MIT after all, leading her own team at the age of twenty-six. You are not sure but you don't think that's common. OMG! Mercedes! You totally forgot about her.
"Britt, I hope you are finished because we have a massive problem, well mostly I do but that's not important now. You have to help me Britt, I need your help! Mercedes called and she told me she is coming over and she wants probably to stay at my house and there is a little tiny 'problemita'-
"Let me guess, you not living in New York so you have no house, being pregnant-"
"Been tricked and lied by my own husband and father? Yeah, exactly! I have to figure out something. She can't know, Britt, she just can't, nobody does and that's the way it should be kept." you go around, left hand rubs your forehead and your right hand grips your hip. Brittany takes you by the shoulders and looks at you with uncertainty.
"Maybe you should try and be honest with Mercedes you know. She has always been supportive of you and she deserves to know the truth, San." She looks in your eyes and you can't look anywhere else. You don't understand, her eyes seem to change colors every time you look at them.
"San? Helloooo!" She waves in front of your face and you snap out of your stare.
"Yeah.. yeah I'm, I mean—Britt what was I gonna say?" you feel embarrassed, you don't know what happened to your thoughts but they are puff-gone!
"I told you to tell Mercedes the truth, remember?" Brittany raises her eyebrow she doesn't see what is going on with you.
"Don't look at me like that. I'm fine, Britt. I'm just stressed out about Mercedes' visit. I know you don't like me lying to our friends, but my social status and my pride mean everything to me. What will Mercedes do if she finds out, hmm? I'll tell you, she will look at me like Quinn does. With pity in her eyes. Quinn doesn't accept money for her services because she knows I have nothing! And Mercedes? At first she will want to help be it with money or a job opportunity and then she will tell everybody, Britt. I can't have that, I can't go through that!" Your eyes begin to tear up and you are so angry right know, you don't want Brittany to see you like that, stupid hormones just stop doing things! You turn away from her taking a few steps towards the door. You grab your head with both hands and shake your head trying to stop the tears to get clear thoughts again. Brittany comes behind you and massages your shoulders you didn't even know were tensing. You know Brittany doesn't like to lie at all but you need to do that and you need her to do that, too. You have a plan and without her you won't be able to pull it off. After you are calm enough you turn and face her. With still teary and now hopeful and pleading eyes you look up to her.
"I know you won't agree with it but I have a plan." She sighs at that and walks to the middle of the room to pick up her grey MIT sweater and puts it on. It says Professor Brittany S. Pierce on the back.
"Whatever it is San your plan will contain lies and big lies at that so don't think I will support you on this, especially if it's lying to one of our oldest and good friends. I respect your choice to keep your situation to ourselves but I never agreed to lie. You have to deal with it someday, anyway so why not let the day be today?"
She tries to make you consider her idea but you are not ready to face the world yet.
"She is coming Monday, Britt not today and no I'm not ready yet. I wanted to keep this secret at least till my child is born. Nobody can know Brittany. I need to protect my child and who knows if Ric- I mean the father of my child has still contact to somebody who may know us. I don't want him to know I'm pregnant, Britt. Not my mother, not my father and definitely not him! I managed to keep it hidden for so long I just need to keep holding on till the FBI catches and arrests him."
Brittany can see the determined look in your eyes and you know the moment you mentioned the baby she would give in. She is as much protective over it as you are if not more.
"Fine, tell me your plan. Let's see how crazy it is." She sighs walking over to the benches and patting next to her for you to go and sit beside her.
After you sit you face her and begin to talk.
"Well okay. So I have this plan. Mercedes thinks that I'm living in New York and she is probably going there because of business. I'll tell her that my husband is on a business trip and I decided that it was a great idea to visit you while he is gone. So we can't meet up, what do you say?" You ask her convinced by your plan.
You can't decipher what she is thinking but before you speak up she answers.
"As long as you keep me out of it do what needs to be done."
"Ohhhh thank you, Britt-Britt." You hug her firmly into you till she can't breathe.
"I really appreciate it, Britt. Thank you." You say sincerely.
"Yeah I know just call Mercedes and get it over with." She says standing up and starts stretching on the floor. She tries to avoid the situation you know it but there is nothing you can do about it, you didn't wish for what happened to you, to happen. You are the victim here and you kind of unconsciously dragged Brittany into it. You take your phone out of your purse and nervously search for Mercedes in your contacts. You take a deep breath and press the call button, well it's a smartphone so it only has a screen but it doesn't matter know.
A ring.
Another ring.
A third ring.
She is probably busy you will call her later-
"Hey Satan! I thought you'd never call." She says it with a laugh so she is not pissed. But damn it you thought she wasn't going to pick up but she did.
"Haha yeah, I just had a lot to do 'Cedes. So tell me what's up why are you going to New York?" You really need to get to the point you don't like to beat around the bush.
"Well, I'm promoting my new album `Why America Why´ so I thought I could crash at yours and catch up with my favorite New Yorker."
"Wow that's what? Like your fourth album in five years? Take it easy, wheezy." You are impressed but not surprised. Mercedes was always one to work her ass off and you are proud of her even you don't show it.
"You are just jealous and besides you have to stay on top if you want to go on tour with Beyoncé." She chuckles and you can't believe your ears.
"WHAT?" You got Brittany's attention at that, she looks at you and asks what happened but you shake your hands to tell her to keep quite.
"You are going on tour with Beyoncé? No way, way to go Aretha! Congratulations!"
"Thank you! That's why I'm in New York next week but only for a day. We are starting the tour with New York and you are invited, first row of course."
"I don't know what to say." Because you really don't know what to say. Brittany is grinning and tries to keep herself still. She is very happy for Mercedes but you still need to tell her that you can't meet her.
"Look, Mercedes I'm really flattered and so happy for you but I'm currently not in New York and won't be back for a… for a month so I won't be able to make it." A month seems reasonable you think.
"What? Nooo where are you Snixx?" Of course she would ask. Well here it goes.
"I'm visiting Brittany. My husband's on a business trip to Europe you know dealing with big companies. So I thought why not visit my best friend who I didn't see for years." You explained too much and too quick she will notice something, stupid Santana stupid!
"So you are in Boston then?"
"Ehh… Yes" You answer quietly. You don't understand why she keeps asking you questions. Oh God what if she doesn't believe you.
"Oh my God you won't believe it but our second concert is in Boston and I'll arrive there on Tuesday morning. Since you are there with Brittany I can kill two birds with one stone. Well, not really kill but you know what I mean. Oh no, if you are not in New York that means I have to spend all day with the one and only Mrs. Rachel Berry. I'll never forgive you for that, Satan." She says with an annoyed voice and you can't help but really laugh at that.
"I can picture it in my head. She will drag you in her closet after closet to show off her awards. Believe me she did it with me and I nearly strangled her with the wire of her house phone if her assistant wouldn't have held me back. So have fun with that midget and whatever you do, don't give her my phone number wheezy otherwise you can sleep on the street and you know how dead serious I am when it comes to Hobbit." You say sternly because Rachel is the only one from high-school you didn't miss and even Brittany doesn't like her and Brittany likes everyone!
When you moved to New York you made sure to keep your address hidden from her so she couldn't come over or send you letters, and yes she did that a lot to others. After many begging you gave her your email address and that was one of your worst decisions ever. Seriously who in their right mind would send an invitation every night to their stage performance that's seven pages long? Is she even human? Did the doctors drop her when she was born and did she fall right on her head or something? Just calm down Santana you can't kill everybody or anybody for that matter.
"Okay, I promise! I won't even mention that I spoke to you, happy?"
"Yes, the happiest if you stick to your word."
"I will and I have to go now. My manager tries to get my attention so I will text you the details later. Bye and say Hi to Brittany for me and tell her I missed her the most out of you two because she is the sweetest."
"Haha so funny wheezy." You look at Brittany and she looks at you back with patience.
"But you are right, she is the best." You say without hesitation and with a smile on your lips and she looks back questioningly because she doesn't know what you two are talking about. You end the call and put your phone back in your purse and Brittany can't hold it back anymore.
"So how did it go and is she really going on tour with Beyoncé?" She is at her previous position now sitting next to you and is very excited.
"Oh my God I can't believe it either she finally made her dream come true"
You both let that sink for a minute.
"San, do you remember every time Mr. Schuester put her in the background and let her do the high notes she would always-" She stands up, puts herself in her role as Mercedes and pretends to shove people aside who are in her way, waves her pointer finger at you and shouts in her best Mercedes voice
"Ohhhhh HELL TO THE NO! I AM BEYONCE I AIN'T NO KELLY ROWLAND!"
You just can't hold it back and explode in laughter. You laugh so much you can't see no more because you cry of laughter and hear her laugh, too. You fall almost from the bench but manage to keep yourself up. When you wipe your tears you see Brittany already on the floor, her face all red from craughing and you wonder what you look like. In times like these you find an advantage of being in a room where one wall is a giant mirror. Wow you look like crap but it was worth it. God you can't forget Brittany's face when she imitated Mercedes.
"You are such a diva Mercedes. Come on let's head home and prepare for the arrival of the real Mercedes."
"Does it mean your plan didn't work and she is now coming to Boston?" She asks with an undertone like she is saying 'I told you so'.
Meanwhile you packed all the things and closed the doors of the studio and walk towards the car.
"Turns out that her second stop on her tour is Boston and she will stay one night. As long as I cover my belly with black colored clothes she won't notice so everything will work out, you'll see." You say knowingly pointing a finger at her.
You stop at the car and she opens the door for you as you get in she says
"I don't know, San. I just have a bad feeling about all of this. There's something wrong but I can't name it. My senses are not as strong as your Mexican Third Eye but… you know what, forget it and enjoy the ride madam." She bows before she closes the door and gets in the driver's seat and on the way you both sing along to every pop song that comes on the radio.
You are glad it's weekend because Brittany doesn't work on weekends and you think it's a good idea to try on clothes that cover your belly thoroughly and Brittany verifies the outfits by giving a thumbs up or thumbs down.
"Oh come on, Britt-Britt. We are not on Facebook so please stop that thumbs up thing and talk." You are in front of your wardrobe and she sits on your bed.
"What can I say, San. They are all good and I don't even know what I'm doing here also you didn't let me take a shower so I'm disgusted by myself. You are the pregnant one don't you smell me at all?"
"Oh believe me I do! Fortunately I got over my nausea so there is no risk I am going to throw up. I will let you shower in a minute we eliminated it to three outfits. Just choose one." She looks concentrated on the the items and you wonder if she is solving the problem mathematically, she probably does.
"Okay, I wouldn't choose the blue hoody but would keep the baggy jeans." She puts her chin on her right hand and looks intensely at the next two.
"With that light blouse she would totally see your belly the time you sit down, so no but the shoes can stay." So you collect the baggy jeans and the flat shoes and wait for Brittany's final choice.
"Take the grey and black dress. It goes grey till your boobies and black down from there. The arched form will make it easier to cover everything."
She is so right and she made you a whole new outfit out of three so you are happy with the outcome.
"Thank you very much, you can go know and please open the window on your way out." You are half joking but she really stinks of sweat. She groans as she stands up and opens the window though.
You are relieved somehow. You planned everything. Mercedes will come, you will make her comfortable and if she wants to go shopping you'll say you have food poisoning or something. You only need to keep her in the house and everything will turn out fine.
You go to the kitchen and decide to cook dinner while Brittany is in the shower.
The first attempt since months. You would always get sick only from the smell but it's been a few weeks since you didn't get sick, the only exception is meat.
Just the smell of it burns your nose so to speak. You are in a mood to sing so you turn on the radio and see 'Take My Breath Away' by Berlin is playing.
Through the hourglass, I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed, I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today,
I am unafraid
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
Watching every motion
In this foolish lover's game
Haunted by the notion
Somewhere there's a love in flames
Santana with Brittany:
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn my way (Brittany: And say)
You turn over and see Brittany in new clothes, hair wrapped in a towel, a hairbrush in her right hand used as a microphone, singing with you. So you take the wooden spoon and you sing to each other with exaggerated moves.
Brittany and Santana:
Take my breath away (Brittany: My love)
Take my breath away (Brittany: My love)
Take my breath away, ohh... (Brittany: Away)
Take my breath away (Brittany: My love)
Take my breath away
At the end of the song you burst out laughing and ask her what she is doing in the kitchen when she should be drying her hair.
"I just heard you giving a solo and I thought why not make it a duet instead. Our voices always went good together in glee club, remember?" She smiles and yes you had a few duets even in your dream sequence and you still don't know how you both could have the exact same dream but Brittany said it was because you two were meant to be best friends.
"You are absolutely right but please let not get lost in nostalgia. Go get ready, dinner is almost ready." You shove her out of the kitchen and she obliges without protest.
After dinner you make yourself ready for bed you had an eventful day so far, the sooner you call it a day the merrier. As you rub your belly with a cream that's supposed to prevent the stretch marks you hear Brittany's phone ring. You look at the clock and it's 9:05 p.m. and you wonder who could call Brittany at this hour on Saturday because usually Brittany's phone never rings on weekends.
"Pierce…. Oh hello George." George? Who is George? Wait there is someone in her team called George but why would he call her on her day off.
"That's really nice of you but I didn't plan on going out tonight…. Yes….Hmm… I am sorry though, have a good night see you on Monday." You are curious why her coworker would call her at this hour so you decide to ask her.
You enter living room and sit next to her on the couch. You try to keep your mouth shut but you can't help it and spit it out.
"So George hmm?" You ask side eyeing her.
"Were you eavesdropping, Santana?" She asks you without tearing her eyes from the TV.
"No! It's just I heard the phone ring and you saying his name. There was no other noise in the house, Britt, not even a little sound. You muted the TV and I can't just black out your voice, can I?" You raise your eyebrow because you are right but you feel guilty anyway. After a few seconds of not showing any emotion she turns her head towards you and you anxiously wait for her to say something. Suddenly she starts laughing and you don't understand why.
"Relax, San I was just messing with you. How quick you go in to defense mode is so hilarious." She laughs and you take the cushion behind you and hit her on the shoulder.
"Stop laughing at a pregnant woman whose life is hell and the only person she cares for is laughing at her so stop it." She immediately stops and takes you in her arms and places her chin on your head.
"I'll never betray and leave you like that. Do you hear me, Santana?" She squeezes you to show you that she is very serious and the way she said it, you have no doubts she means it. So you hug her back with everything you have. Saying I believe you, the same goes for you, I trust you without words. You are getting too emotional and you don't want that to happen so you pull back.
"I repeat: So George hmm?" You ask with the same tone in your voice. Changing the topic is what you need now and you really want to know who he is.
"He is on my team and he just asked me out on a drink." She shrugs her shoulders.
"Why didn't you say yes then?"
"Because he is my coworker and is like ten years older than me if not more."
"So? I don't see a problem there. My abuelo was eleven years older than my abuela and they had a long and healthy relationship. As you should know, Professor, women mature faster than men so an age difference is actually a good thing. Also is he hot?" You ask with a smirk.
"Wow, San you almost got me with your speech, almost. If you wanna know what ruined it, the last part did." She says sarcastically.
"Okay, I won't force you to tell me. It isn't like you owe me an explanation, or something. I'm only your best friend." You face the TV and act like you are hurt.
"Ahhh, okay, okay I'll tell you." You face her again with a victorious smile.
"Yes, he is good looking for his age and he asked me out a few times, actually."
"What? Why didn't you tell me? I'm so happy for you Britt." If somebody deserves love it would be Brittany.
"I didn't accept his offers though. I turned him down kindly many times he tries it nonetheless. I don't know I'm not attracted to him at all. I have a golden rule: always keep your private life out of your work and vice versa."
You are proud of her. She matured so much over the years but she still is the same innocent Brittany you went to school with.
"Well, sucks for him and it's his problem to deal with so don't ever feel guilty okay? I know you, Britt. You are too good to not feel guilty but you have no reason to, you don't return his feelings so what? He is not gonna die or something." You assure her by squeezing her shoulder.
"Come on let's call it a night. I have to clean my room and change the sheets for Mercedes." You are about to stand up but Brittany pulls you back. You look at her and then at her hand holding your sleeve.
"You are not saying what I think you are saying, right?" You are confused
"What am I saying that you think I am not saying?" You return and now she is confused, too.
"What?"
"What?" She just shakes her head and tries it one more time.
"San did you just imply that you'll give your room to Mercedes? Because that's a no. She will take my bed and I'll be the one to sleep on the couch, got it? There is no way I'll let you sleep on a couch, especially if you are pregnant."
"No Brittany. I ask so much from you, I live in your house, live off your money, the least I can do is take the couch for a night. Mercedes is my guest so she should take my bed, that's in the guest room that was made for guests and Mercedes is a guest."
"First of all you are living in our house and you know my salary is way over minimum wage so don't worry, you don't make me poor or something and like you said it's only for a night so I'll take the couch and that's final, good night San, sleep tight." She kisses your cheek and goes to bed. You said it a million times but you will say it a million times more. You have absolutely the bestest of the bestest friend to ever exist.
So you go to bed hoping everything will work out.
Hello everyone! Originally this chapter was much longer but I couldn't find a pleasing ending so I cut it in half. Next chapter holds so much.
1. The gender of the baby
2. Mercedes visit
3. And finally we will discover what changed Santana's life. (Husband and father)
So what do you guys think? Is it a baby girl or a baby boy?
And what did you think of it all?
For any questions don't hesitate to review, dm and if you want I'm on twitter, too.
twitter: zepolzoom
See you next chapter.