"Why are you even pretending?"

Emma's gaze struggled to tear away from her laptop screen, although Ruby's question was a bit jarring.

"What?" And when she did look up, she was greeted by a flop down on the bed beside her.

It made Emma smile, laying there next to her friend. She had kicked her feet up, swaying back and forth lightly. Those already big eyes of hers were being accentuated even more by the eye shadows and mascara.

"What?" she asked again, because so far all she had got was a big white smile pointed her way.

Ruby bit down on her lip as she nudged Emma's shoulder with her own.

"What are you doing?"

She was wary from… everything that was Ruby. Emma's eyes slid slowly back over to her computer screen that held countless rental properties of varying sizes, shapes, prices, and leasing agreements.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asked, somewhat confused by her friend's line of questioning.

"It looks like you're pretending."

It was as simple and as matter-of-fact that it had Emma turned back to look at her.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't even know why you've been looking through all these ads- I can't believe that you've even been out there looking at these places- when you know exactly where you need to be."

Emma felt skeptical at Ruby's preciseness.

"Um… do you expect me to live here forever?" And she was confused even more so.

The way Ruby's eyes cut on her said cut the BS.

"You don't live here, Emma. The fact that you are here right now is because Killian is at work. And your twisted mind says that you can't be at home when he isn't."

It made Emma huff out a laugh, the absurdity of Ruby.

"So the fact that you're laying here looking at a new place to move is beyond silly, Emma," Ruby continued, ignoring the chuckle.

"You offer me your spare room and then you get upset when I'm here?" Emma asked lightly, her chin raising as she looked at her. "Killian was right."

Right about Ruby's thoughts of her staying there.

"Say whatever you'd like," she continued, turning back to the laptop. "But I'm not pretending."

"So what are you being, Emma."

The teasing in her voice wasn't lost on Emma. And yet it was a topic of conversation that she didn't know how to approach.

"You don't think it's too fast?" She threw Ruby a side-glance, curious of what her response would be. Although she should have known.

"I think it's what you guys want." Even from the position she was in, Emma could make out the devilish smile on her face. "So do what you want. And hey!" Her shoulder bumped into hers again. "Is this a committed relationship or what?"

It was a committed relationship…

Killian did something for her heart that even she had not anticipated. It was deeper than she had ever dreamed. And it wasn't about the high of secrets and games. It wasn't about the rush of something new and exciting. She had told him that way in the beginning. She wanted him wholeheartedly. And that was just what she had received. A one-hundred percent, all in Killian.

"Thought so."

Ruby sounded smug. She looked the part as well when Emma turned back towards her. Which only tempted her in giving her an eye roll and maybe even a poke of her tongue. But, instead, she offered her a smile.

"Still," because there was that piece of doubt that lingered.

Too fast, too soon… When had she become this cautious person? It must have been when she got everything that she wanted…

"Still nothing." Ruby's arm came crossed over hers. Grabby hands pulled at the laptop, dragging it closer to her. "So no more looking at apartments that are nowhere near needed."

It made Emma smile. She wasn't as confident as Ruby, but there was more of a sense of being right. So right.

"Well before I hide my laptop away," Emma said, closing her hand over hers, stopping her immediately. "I heard the notification go off from my phone. So I need to check my email."

Ruby slipped her hands from underneath hers.

"That's fine."

That did earn her an eye roll. "Well, thanks."

"Well it was only a small sacrifice," Ruby said with a shrug before she began to sit up. "After you do that though, how about getting out of this room? Come in the living room with me and we can catch up on something on Netflix. You're rarely here, and I would love some ultimate girl time together. You'd never believe what kind of arm twisting I have to do to get Victor to sit down and watch a classic rom-com."

Emma glanced down at the clock in the corner of her laptop.

"I think I have just enough time to watch something before Killian makes it home."

There was a snort of laughter from next to her. And it made Emma smile as well. Okay, she was planning her extra time to fit in the timeframe of when she could be with him again.

"I accept the fact that I love him, Ruby," she said, a hint of concession in her tone.

"Aw, it's totally adorable," Ruby crooned. She stood up from the bed then, but her eyes stayed on Emma. "When are you going to tell him?"

"Tell him what?" But Emma knew what. And she turned her focus back to the task at hand. Pulling up her email account, she was hoping for spam and nothing too important. Something that could easily be trashed and forgotten.

"When are you going to tell Killian that you will move in with him, silly," Ruby drawled.

Emma imagined that her pervasiveness was becoming tiresome to her friend. But she couldn't help it.

"I don't know. I'm not ready. I have to think about it some more."

There were three messages that were bolded in her email history. Three new messages. But it was the newest one that held her attention. The top one that drew her eyes like lasers. It was the one that made her entire body stiffen at what it meant.

"What is it?" Ruby asked slowly.

Emma couldn't look at her. She couldn't tear her eyes from the screen.

The timestamp was nearly an hour old. He had emailed her nearly an hour ago.

"What, Emma?"

It must have been her body language that had made Ruby nervous. There was a definite tension in her entire body that wouldn't go away as she her eyes tracked that line of information over and over again.

"It's from… Neal."

Name. Subject. Time.

"What?" The weight of Ruby crashed back down on the bed. "What did he say? Why did he email you?" And just as sudden was the invasion of personal space as her eyes tried to get at the screen.

Neal Cassidy. I just need to talk to you. 6:07PM

"I don't know," Emma answered quietly.

Why was he emailing her? They hadn't talked since that day he told her to get her things and leave. In all that time, he had never tried to contact her. She hadn't tried to contact him either. He was hurting. She had hurt him. Things had ended terribly. But there had been nothing that she could have done to make it any better. Why was he emailing her?

She hadn't seen him. But Killian had seen him. And Neal had not seemed to be in a forgiving mood at that time. Even if it hadn't come to fisticuffs, it had been far from a forgiving situation. So…

"Oh my God, what are you waiting for?" Ruby gushed from beside her. "Go ahead and open it and find out."

It was supposed to be that easy? Just open it and see what he has to say?

There were too many variables. The subject had said I just need to talk to you. Bur what the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Emma?"

Emma licked at her lips and only glanced at Ruby.

"I don't know what it is, Ruby. It could be anything. Anything. I don't know."

"Well that's why you're going to find out."

Emma turned back to the computer. It was just a second more. Seeing that line of information that hard her heart beating erratically. And then she jumped up to her knees, watching that screen even longer. At last, biting down on her lip, she moved to sit cross-legged on the bed. The computer came with her, sitting right in front.

And she still couldn't…

"Open it."

What could he possibly have to say? Ruby was right. Open it. So….

The length is what surprised her. She didn't think that she would open up the email and find one hundred words. So when it was more than three times that- almost four- she didn't know what to think.

Nothing stuck. It was the sheer magnitude of what was before her.

"What did he say?"

It was Ruby's whisper that made her skim through the words, picking up on little details. Before she went back up. Before she could read it through. And… it didn't make sense…

"Ruby?"

"Really, Emma?" There was a lot of frustration in that growl as she came to put herself right next to her. "What. Did. He. Say."

Emma blinked at the screen again.

Neal. It was all Neal.

"Oh. My. God."

She couldn't pay attention to Ruby's response. She didn't even know how she was supposed to respond. So she ignored her. Ignored the rocking of the bed as she bounced. Ignored the hand to her leg as she shook her. Ignored everything except for that note on her screen.

Emma had skimmed it. She had picked out key words. She had read the whole thing. And she read it again…

It's difficult sleeping without you. It's hard not having you to hold in my arms. I thought that I was giving you my all. When I found out that you had an affair with Killian, it nearly killed me, Emma. I didn't see it coming. Should I have seen it coming?

I just wish that everything could go back the way it was. I'm not over you. I'm not over our life together. The life that you chose to change. There's nothing that I can do about it. Sometimes I wish I didn't react the way I did. I wish that I would have talked things out.

How could you have had feelings for him when you were with me? What was it that I missed, Emma? Didn't you love me? Didn't I see that it in your eyes every day? Even after the affair began? How could I be so dense and not see it?

I know he told you, but I saw Killian out picking up dinner. For you. You know what I thought when I saw him? I thought about how this all had to be some parallel universe because this isn't how it was supposed to be. I'm just glad that you weren't with him. The pain would have been unbearable to see you two together.

Do you know what it's like to think about that? To think about his hands on you? To think about your hands on him? To think about him saying those words to you as if he means them? For you to say those words in the way you used to say them to me?

I loved you, Emma. I still love you. Everything that happened was out of hurt and anger and madness. But I love you, Emma. Two years and a future isn't so easy to throw away.

I'll probably regret sending you this. Then again there is a part of me that couldn't rest until I had at least tried.

Killian is the friend. Don't get me wrong. I know what he looks like and his personality. I know that he was a good guy. But is he truly the one you want?

Think about it, Emma. Make me NOT regret this message.

xoxo

Think about it? Think about it?

"Do you see this, Ruby?" It was difficult to tear her eyes away from that screen, but she did it.

And she saw the way Ruby chewed at her fingernail, her eyes thoughtful.

"I see it." She looked up at her then. Maybe it had been difficult for her to look away as well. "Do you believe it?"

Emma understood the skepticism in Ruby's voice. It wasn't skepticism that squeezed at her heart though. It was total disbelief.

"No." Her eyes scanned her face. "I don't believe this."

Because it was supposed to be over. It was supposed to be done with. As far as she was concerned, it was over. So… was there anything to think about?

"Neal still wants you back," Ruby whispered from beside her. And there was awe in her voice. Awe and still that hint of surprise. "Are you… going to talk to him?" Her frown was deep as she watched her carefully. "To… set him straight?"

I know that he was a good guy. But is he truly the one you want?

Neal had questioned her relationship Killian. Had tried to put doubt in her head. Had wanted her to think about her decision. Her choices.

Emma shook her head. With a firm hand, she shut the laptop close.

"I haven't talked to him. And this?" She turned back to Ruby, looking her straight in her eyes. "This doesn't make me want to talk to him. For what?"

"To… tell him just that," Ruby offered with a roll of her eyes.

It only made Emma shake her head again.

"I want him to have closure," she murmured softly. "But the way things ended? And now this note with him saying that he wants me to think about changing my mind?" Her head shook again. "I don't think I can do it."

Emma watched as Ruby slowly slipped back off of the bed.

"What do you think? Is that the coward way to end this, Ruby?" As sure as she was in that moment with her decision, she still desperately wanted to know the thoughts of her friend.

That fingertip was back between her teeth as she looked at her. A raised eyebrow indicated a moment for thoughtful reflection.

"It's hard to say," Ruby answered with a shrug. "I mean, if Neal's mind is telling him that he wants you back, and your answer is a no, who knows what his reaction would be if you told him that? Then again, who knows how he'll feel if you just ignore him? I understand that you don't want to go back through the emotional upheaval of it all."

It wouldn't be smart. Would it?

"I don't want to go through with this." That was her answer.

Ruby shook her head. "Then there you have it." Her hands clapped together as in finality. But there was something more. There was an energy in the air that read weird.

If there was one thing that she didn't see coming, it would have been this. Neal wasn't the farthest thing from her mind, but she figured that it was over. After Killian seeing him in the restaurant, it only confirmed how things would be from that point on.

Killian.

She hadn't even thought about what his reaction would be. All she could do was imagine. Not angry, because he was as sure about them as she was. A little perturbed? Maybe. He'd react the way that she did.

"Damn."

"I agree."

Emma looked up then to see that Ruby was shaking her head.

It didn't help. It didn't make the situation any better.

It was supposed to be over and done with. And now it…

"Ruby?"

Skepticism was what was on her face. "Yeah."

"I just want to watch Netflix until it's time for me to see Killian."

When Emma finally stood up from the bed, she was met by Ruby with arms wide open.

"That is something that we can definitely do." And her arms tightened around her. "Come on."