Edward Mullens stepped off the scale of his mother's bathroom and watched the old spinning disk roll back down from 317lbs to zero. His mother's house smelled like garbage. The unwashed dishes were piled high. Empty and half-empty soda cups from fast food establishments were strewn about the floor. A fruit gnat buzzed by his face and he swatted at it. His laundry was not done. The house quickly fell into an unkempt state following his mother's death. He told the neighbors that he placed her in a nursing home due to her health. However, her current residence was actually the large chest freezer in the basement.
He cracked open a beer as he picked through his mother's mail searching for her pension check and Social Security check. He was going to use them to pay for his weekend of fun. He hopped onto the internet and booked a reservation at a new bed and breakfast just a few miles up the road. The pictures of the house were beautiful and he deserved to live in luxury like that.
XxXxXxXx
The car's engine made loud clunking sounds as it pulled into the driveway of the mansion. He pulled out his overnight bag and made the short climb up the steps, which creaked under his weight. He entered the establishment and saw the face of some smiling young guy.
"Welcome to Maywood Manor. I am Loki, I'll be your concierge. Here, let me take your bag." Ed thrust the stained blue bag into Loki's hands and followed him up the stairs. He huffed and puffed when he reached the top. His five o'clock shadow and uncut hair made him look haggard.
"This house is beautiful!" Ed said too loud, his voice wheezed.
"Here is your room key. If you have need of anything, please let me know." Loki said with a professional smile. Ed grunted and closed the door. His room was light blue in color and the large bed was fit for a king. Edward grinned with a chewing tobacco stained smile, which had one of his front teeth missing. He saw his reflection then and his smile disappeared, having been shown how out of place he was in his surroundings.
XxXxXxXxXx
Loki let out a breath he'd been holding. The man stunk horribly, like a dead body. Jenny came out of the gold room holding a bottle of Windex and wrinkled her nose.
"What the hell is that?" She said.
"Our guest." Loki whispered and nodded his head towards the direction of the guest's room. Jenny made a face. Loki did too.
"I'm busting out the scented Lysol."
"He'd have to bathe in it to make an impact. You know you and I are going to have to deep clean that room tomorrow."
"He's going to ruin the duvet."
"I'll have it dry cleaned."
"Forget dry cleaning it. You'll have to burn it. I don't even want to think about what that man is doing in that room alone." Jenny said. Loki felt a bubble of vomit pop in the back of his throat and he belched.
"Oh god, don't make jokes like that."
XxXxXxXxXx
About an hour later Edward came down the stairs to explore the house. He only made it as far as the library. He plopped his massive body down on the leather couch and looked around the room, admiring the décor as so many others had done. Loki and Jenny avoided the man, unfortunately his stench had power and a kick. Jenny started opening windows.
Edward spied the orb on the desk then and stood up to walk to it. Wheezing as he went he placed a meaty palm on the desk to support himself when he reached it. He picked up the orb and gazed into its mysterious center. Everything he ever wanted seemed to be inside it. He looked around and then stuffed the item into his pants before making a (somewhat) hurried dash back upstairs. He hid the orb in his bag to take home on the morrow.
XxXxXxXxXxXx
Loki sipped his coffee as he scrolled through a news story he was reading online. He heard the floor boards above creek and he knew it was time to make breakfast. He had planned on making Crab Cakes Benedict this morning but based on his guest's greasy physique, he figured the high class meal would go unappreciated and opted to make biscuits and gravy instead. This was one customer whose repeat business Loki did not want.
Loki heard the man before he saw him. The wood of the stairs strained to support the man's slow heavy steps as he wheezed and gasped. He plopped down at the first available chair at the dinner table and took a moment to catch his breath. Loki turned to greet him and nearly fainted in surprise.
Mr. Mullens was clean. His hair was cut, his face shaved. His clothes had somehow miraculously been cleaned and Loki had to wonder if Jenny had a hand in that. He smelled nice. He loaded up his plate with a modest amount of food and ate it quietly, not saying a word to Loki.
"Good Morning Mr. Mullens. I trust you slept well last night?" Loki tried to engage the man.
"Yes. I slept very well." He said. Loki watched the man fascinated as he ate. The only sound came from the quiet chewing of food and the sipping of liquid. When he finished his meal he asked Loki to get his bag for him from his room which Loki did. Loki entered the light blue room and did a quick inspection. Everything appeared to be in order and the room did not smell foul as Loki feared. It was a miracle. He grabbed the bag of the man's bed and made for the stairs. It was about halfway down the hall that Loki felt a screaming urgency to the check the contents of Mr. Mullen's bag. He paused and unzipped it and found the orb inside.
Loki sneered as he extracted his possession from the bag, palming it possessively. He zipped the bag back up and went charging down the stairs and tossed the bag at Mr. Mullen's chest.
"Get out and don't come again. Theft is not tolerated here." Loki snapped. Mr. Mullens barreled forward at Loki, reaching for the orb, but Loki was much faster and stronger than the fat man and shoved him easily. Loki set the orb down in the kitchen sink and used both of his free hands to extricate the man from the premises.
"Get the fuck out!" Loki growled, shoving as he aimed for the front door.
"It's mine! You fucking little piss ant! You don't deserve it!" Loki knocks the man over and he falls back from the front steps, landing hard on his ass on the pavement of the driveway.
"Get the hell off my property before I call the police!" Loki snarls.
"You'll regret this you fucking skinny little bitch!" The man yelled as he climbed back into his piece of shit car. Loki felt victory listening to the car's backfire as it popped away in the distance.
"What the fuck is up with your guests? Did you post an ad on ?"
"Craigslist?" Loki asked.
"Yep. ." Jenny and Loki couldn't help but laugh at that. It had been a strange weekend.
"I hope that disgusting asshole rots in his own filth. Come on. Let's go bleach everything."
XxXxXxXxXxXx
The doorbell rang and Mr. Mullens answered. The package delivery man tried to maintain a friendly courteous smile as the odor from within the house assaulted his senses. He had over a hundred boxes to deliver to this address, but he'll be damned if he is going to go inside that house. It took the driver roughly an hour to unload everything into the front yard of the home.
One by one Ed Mullen carried them all inside. Each box contained some item he'd coveted for years but did not have the money to buy until now. Not paying the mortgage on his mother's house had freed up a lot of money to buy the things he really needed, like a juicing machine and a footie-mop. He filled his house with all his precious babies and then went online to order more.
Pizza came. Chinese came. Ed became addicted to television and the internet. He stopped bathing altogether. He took up a permanent spot in the living room recliner as towers of things teetered around him. He hadn't been down to the basement in weeks. He didn't know that the freezer had broken down and stopped working or that the scent of death was attracting all manner of pests into the home.
First the roaches came. Ed noticed them but paid them little attention, even as they became brazen and came out in broad daylight. Then the rats came and close behind, the snakes. The weeks went by and the bills went unpaid. Water, electricity, and sewage were all cut off. The un-mowed yard attracted complaints from the neighbors and eventually the police came to perform a welfare check on old Mrs. Mullens.
Officer Muldowny knew something was wrong before he even opened the front door. The stench of rot and death could be smelled rom outside and the filth inside the home was visible through the windows. By all accounts, Mrs. Mullens had always been a very tidy lady. He knocked on the door but received no answer. He tried the knob but it was locked. He walked back to his police car and pulled the battering ram out of the trunk, convinced he would find Mrs. Mullen's dead body inside.
"You sure you want to do that?" Office Sandy asked his partner. "I really don't want to go in there."
"Say goodbye to the uniform you are wearing today. There ain't gonna be enough laundry detergent to get these things cleaned when we are done in there." Muldowny said. Sandy grimaced. Muldowny pulled his arms back and swung the ram at the door, busting the door frame and releasing the door. The stench from the house punched him in the face.
"Sweet Jesus." Muldowny's eyes watered. He pushed the door the rest of the way open and heard the rattling sound of a timber rattlesnake. The damn thing was coiled up and perched, ready to strike.
"Oh shit!" He backed up a good 20 feet. "Get animal control down here." The snake saw its opportunity and slithered out the front door into the bushes like a little lightning rod.
"Shit it's out here." Officer Sandy danced backward on his tippy toes, as if prancing about would somehow protect him from a venomous snake bite.
"Nice move twinkle toes."
"You did the exact same thing!"
"Yeah but you did it in front of the dash cam." Muldowny smiled. That footage will make the Christmas video. Both men turned their attention back to the open front door when a flood of rats and roaches poured out of the house like a nightmare exodus from Egypt. Officer Sandy pulls his gun out and Muldowny shoots him a look.
"What are you going to do? Shoot the roaches?"
"I can't do this. I'm getting back in the car." He radios for animal control and for a biohazard crew. They'll need both just to enter the domicile. An hour later, with gas masks and protective gear donned, they enter the home to search for Mrs. Mullens.
Carefully and slowly the step over piles of trash and debris, mindful of any possible snakes that might be hiding. They reach the living room and see a mountain of things, trash, clothes but it is the blue bloated hand sticking out from the bottom of the heap that gets Muldowny's attention.
"Sandy? Didn't Mrs. Mullens have a son in his 50's?"
"Yeah why?" He asked. Muldowny shines his flashlight on the hand and Officer Sandy runs outside to vomit.