Hello wonderful people. Another chapter ready. I pray you enjoy it.
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...
Tears don't fall.
Atemu.
Make your own happiness
Let me ruin your life, let me break your heart, then I'll ask you why we can't be friends. Let me rip your world into little pieces, let me destroy who you thought you were, and then I'll ask if we can be friends.
Let me hunt you down, let me lust over your body, then I'll ask why you fear me. Let me threaten you and drive fear into your heart, then I'll ask why you can't love me.
"Did you have a good time with Yugi, Atemu?" Scott asked
I looked over my shoulder at him, my hands submerged into the rapidly dirtying sink water and met his gaze. I felt surprise rear inside me, a trickle of suspicion filtered through before it was soothed into submission.
"It was cool." I dismissed, reaching for the towel, running it through my hands.
Scott leant forward, folding his hands under his chin. " You loved it. Admit it."
"I-I don't know what you mean." I denied, turning back to the sink and swirling the scummy water around.
"Uh-huh. Tell me what happened!"
"You sounds like a teenage girl, Scott. 'Oh, tell me what he said! How did he pronounce his 'Ps'? Oh, isn't he dreamy?' Bah!" I mimicked, my voice shooting higher than necessary.
"Dreamy, huh? That how you describe Yugi?"
"As if!" I chucked the towel in his direction, he dodged with a laugh
"You're falling again aren't you?"
I felt a wall in me slam up while the foundations of something else shook. I shrugged and looked away, my arms folding protectively around my body.
Yeah...falling hard and fast...I've been there before...I know where I'll end up...
"You are, I can see it." Scott insisted
"I'm not."
He sighed, a impatient, long suffering sigh that made guilt rise in me. But still I refuse to look."Don't lie Até."
"I'm not."
"It's all right, you know? We're not here to judge."
Maybe you aren't but...Jamie...and Yugi himself...
"I know."
His hands reached for mine across the width of the table. The contact made my eyes leap back to his face, searching for answers. I didn't like the suspicious, scrutinising look I found. Intimidated, I went to look away but Scott tugged on my hand again, pulling my arms closer to him and I looked back.
"What aren't you telling me?"
My mind raced, trying to find a way out of answering his question, while my face found a mask of innocent confusion.
...Jamie...
"Like what?"
Scott leant back, defeated. "I don't know, but something!"
I allowed myself to laugh. "I'm fine, Scott. Honest!"
"If you're sure."
The thud of heavy boots cut of my answer. I knew those footsteps, I knew the body they belonged to. Jamie breezed into the kitchen, confidence and swagger rolling of him. It took all my self control to remain seated.
"Hey guys! How's it going?" He greeted
"Hey man." Scott replied
I spared him a brief, curt nod and turned my back on him, pulling the dishes out from the cooling water. I heard Jamie sit down behind me, heard him speak to Scott. Their words washed over me, letters impossible to grasp, all I knew was that Jamie was too close to me. And foreign emotions were whirling inside, thundering into each other, I felt the tension inside. I didn't know if I was angry at him or afraid because of what he had done. I just knew I wanted to get away. I turned to Scott, a serene smile plastered on my face.
"Hey, Scott." I spoke casually, replacing the towel on the rack "I'm heading out. We're out of milk and it's not fair on Lucy if she always goes shopping."
"All right, mate."
I stepped around them, trying to keep my thoughts from finding my face. Scott seemed unconcerned, like he had already forgotten his earlier suspicions. Reaching the hallway, I sank onto the step and tugged on worn trainers. I didn't hear the footsteps behind me but I felt the hand on my shoulder. I jumped up and span around, a surprised cry escaping through my lips. My eyes narrowed as I realised it was Jamie hovering behind me. I moved backward, the larger the distance I put between us, the safer I felt. There was nothing in Jamie's eyes that made me feel secure.
"Atemu, mate...listen..." He reached out to touch my shoulder again but I jerked away, increasing the distance.
"Don't touch me!" I ordered, for a moment Jamie seemed to cower before me.
"Look, I'm sorry man. I messed up, all right?"
"No! It's not 'all right'. Just leave me alone."
I shoved past him and tugged open the front door. His arm shot out, slamming the door closed, barely missing my fingers. I turned around, anger boiling in me but he was closer to me than I expected. I jumped back, hissing when my back connected the door. A furious scowl marring handsome features as he leant closer to my face, trapping me by his arm.
"Move, Jamie." I demanded
"Listen to me you queer, when a person apologises to you, its polite to accept it." He growled
I rolled my eyes, the shock I had felt quickly turning into irritation. "Sure, whatever. Can I go now?"
He moved to his hand to my chest, his fingers smoothing down the cotton of my shirt and brushing of lint I couldn't see. He pulled himself away from me, a gentle smile on his face.
"Have a good day, Atemu. I'm sorry about my behaviour."
Then he turned and disappeared down the hallway. I blinked after him, uncertain and uncomfortable. The shadows that made up the darkness bristled and hissed, swirling around me and wafting into rooms. They echoed my feelings, pulsing with aggression. They followed me when I stalked out of the apartment, trying to appease me and calm wired senses. But my wild, furious mind shocked them into silence.
I couldn't make sense of Jamie and his cryptic messages.
...You're afraid to find out...coward...
Yugi...I...think I... ?... you
I think I used to know the missing word...once upon a dream...
The supermarket was a haze of incomprehensible voices and squeaking trolleys. Children screamed, I heard them begging parents for material goods. A young woman nosily screamed at her boyfriend while he sheepishly hid his face. I walked aimlessly down the isles, taking packets of the shelves and placing them in the basket I was carrying. A pretty young girl with sea blue eyes, smiled up at me, dimples showing. I grinned back, causally she stepped away from her mother and stopped in front of me.
"Hello, little one." I greeted
"Hi! My names Molly. What's yours?"
"I'm Atemu."
"Funny name."
"I suppose it is."
I knelt down, she tilted her head, blonde curls bouncing and shinning in artificial lights.
"You have pretty hair."
I laughed. "Thank you, Molly. I think your dress is very nice."
Carefree giggles left her lips, she clapped her hands in delight, a small smile tugged on my lips. She span around, her dress billowing out around her, white material flowing. Suddenly she stopped and stared at me, innocent eyes staring into my blood red ones.
"You have sad eyes." I reared back in surprise "You shouldn't be sad. I think you're beautiful. Don't you love someone like daddy does?"
"I-I do..."
"Why are you sad then?"
"I.." She stared at me with innocent confusion "We had an argument and I don't know how to make it better."
"Why don't you say sorry?"
"It's more complicated than that."
"No its not. If you did bad you should say sorry. They you'll hug and make up!"
"You are wise for one so young."
She giggled again. "You're very nice. Will you be my friend?"
"All right." She smiled
"Molly? Molly!" A woman's voice bubbled over the crowd
I looked over my shoulder, finding a panicking woman hunting manically through people for the girl in front of me. I turned back to Molly, she was searching as well, trying to find the owner of the voice.
C'mon, Molly. Let's find your mum."
She smiled and let me lead her toward the woman. As soon as she saw her mother, she slipped away from me, yelling words through the crowd. I smiled and bent down to retrieve my basket when a gentle weight landed on my back. I looked sideways, grinning when I saw the blonde hair.
"Molly?"
"I just wanted to say bye- bye."
"All right then, goodbye Molly."
"Don't be sad. Talk and you'll smile again."
"Molly, don't annoy him." Molly's mother appeared behind me. "I'm sorry sir."
I straightened, turning to the woman. She was plain by attractive, the same bouncy blonde hair as her daughter.
"It's fine. She was giving me advice."
"She does that a lot. She'll be the perfect agony aunt."
I laughed. "I should go now. My friends will be wanting their shopping. Goodbye, Molly. Goodbye ma'am."
"Bye, Atemu!"
"Thank you for finding my daughter." I nodded and she fixed me with the same gaze as her daughter "You know, you have to make your own happiness. Give life a shot."
She walked away before I could say anything. Something inside me stirred and longed for something I'd long forgotten.
Or...maybe something I didn't.
How had a child made me hope again?
Hang on...did I admit to being in love?
After handing the bags of food over to Lucy and ducking out of a confrontation with Jamie, I retreated to my room. I pulled open the bedside draw, reaching inside and pulling out the three cards hidden inside. I sat back on the bed, smoothing out the ripped cards, memorising lines and colours, I used to know so well. Remembering the times I had with these monsters and how they became my guardians. Long forgotten battles bubbled into my mind, I knew each monsters attack. I'd danced a deadly waltz alongside them, known their masters.
...Loved their masters...
I turned to my mirror, the man looking back wasn't the boy who ran away. I reached up, running my fingers through the strands off my hair. This haircut is artificial, another layer, another mask. Still...I need it.
Just for a little longer.
...Make your own happiness...Give life a shot...Take a chance...
I rolled over and hooked the phone toward me.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Yugi. It's Atemu. We need to talk."
...
Ta-dah!