Having had very little sleep, I get up the next morning still feeling the emptiness in my gut. Dropping to the bedside, I just stare ahead of me when the weight of everything crashes into me like a freight train. I'll never forget that grievous, pained look that washed over her face when I told her I didn't want a ready made family.
After taking another shower and getting ready for the day, I drive to the hospital, trying my best to avoid Elena. Despite everything, there's no reason to cause her anymore pain, knowing that it was me who ripped her wide open.
Luckily she didn't need to call me about any of my patient's today. When I go back to the ED, I see Caroline hard at work at her desk. I need to apologize to her.
"Caroline?"
Raising her eyes, the look she gives me could level a continent with the amount of anger reflected in her stare. After she hangs up the phone, she turns in her chair to face me head on.
"What do you want?"
"I need to apologize to you. I'm really sorry, Care."
"Why were you acting like such a jackass anyway?"
"I've just had a lot on my mind lately and it came to head that day. I'm really sorry, please forgive me."
"Exactly what or shall we say, who has been weighing so heavily on your mind?" she asks, her eyes boring into mine.
"Elena," I whisper.
"What about her?" Turning away from me for a moment, I hear her whisper, "Son of a bitch, you did it didn't you? You pushed her away."
Blowing out a puff of air, I turn my eyes back to hers. "I don't want to talk about it." Thankfully, my pager alarms before she can rake me over the coals again. "I've got to go. Are we okay?"
"This conversation isn't over but yes, we're okay."
Giving her one last look, I turn on my heels and run to the ambulance bay.
"Hey dad, you ready to go?" I ask him when I step into the kitchen where I find him taking a drink of water.
"I am. Just a little nervous. I don't want to have another meltdown in front of Stefan and his wife."
"Dad?"
"I know. At least it's not in this house again."
"I'll be right there beside you. So will Caroline. You're safe, dad."
"I know that son," he replies with a tight smile.
Walking out of the kitchen, he turns around, "Let's go." After he locks the front door, he jumps into the passenger side of my car.
"When am I going to meet your lady friend that Caroline keeps gushing about?" he asks as he buckles his seatbelt.
"We had a bit of a falling out as it were. And before you say anything, Caroline already read me the riot act."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about. She comes all wrapped up in a neat little box with a pretty bow and a kid. That's a responsibility that I'm not willing to undertake at this point in my life."
"Okay. I guess it's better you figured it out now before either of you got too involved."
I turn my eyes to his for just a second before turning them back to the road. "Yep," is all I say.
Caroline's car is already at Stefan's house when we arrive. I park my car next to hers before getting out. Dad gets out slowly and starts walking to the door. Stefan steps out to greet us.
"Dad. I'm so glad you and Damon could come. I was a little worried that you might back out."
"No Stefan. I want us to be comfortable around each other again. I know you're trying and I need to as well."
Smiling, Stefan steps aside so dad and I can enter his house.
"Hello Mr. Salvatore, Damon," April greets us.
"Stefan is grilling some burgers. Do you want something to drink? I have lemonade, soda, iced tea. Stefan doesn't drink so we don't keep any alcohol in the house."
"No worries, April. I'll have a lemonade. Dad?"
"I'd like a nice cold lemonade too. Thank you, April," he tells her as she leads dad into the living room where Caroline, Matt and Annabelle are watching TV.
"Papa," Annabelle squeals and runs to hug him.
"How's my little sweetheart today?" he asks her before reaching into his pocket and handing her a candy bar. "You have to save it till your mom says it's okay for you to eat it."
"Mama can I eat it?" she asks running to Caroline.
"If you eat your supper, you can eat it later. Did you thank your grandpa?"
Thank you, papa," she squeals, running over to hug him again.
"You're welcome."
After watching their interaction, I go to find April. Handing me my drink, she points me to the backyard where Stefan is.
"Brother?" he says when he sees me.
"Have you finally mastered the art of the barbeque?" I ask.
"I have indeed. April makes the best burgers. Wait till you bite into one, they're mouth watering."
"Bring it on, brother. Are they as good as mine?"
"Better," he says with a smirk.
After he flips the burgers, he puts some grilled vegetable packets on the grill then sits down. "Have a seat."
Flopping down into the lawn chair, I turn to look at him. "It's really good to see you looking so healthy, Stefan."
Smiling, he raises his glass to mine. We clink them together and take a drink. "That means a lot, thank you."
When the burgers and vegetables are done, Stefan plates them up and hands them to me so he can turn off the grill.
"Time to eat," April announces when the two of us walk into the house.
Once everyone has a plate full, we dig in. "Stefan said your burgers are mouth watering. They are delicious, April. But so are mine. We'll have to have a cook off some time," I joke.
"I think that's a great idea. My burgers will stand up to any challenge," she says with a hint of sass.
"Game on," I reply, taking another big bite of my hamburger.
"Damon does make a mean burger, April," Caroline says, elbowing me in the ribs.
"Dad, did you need anything?" Stefan asks him.
"Maybe a lemonade refill. These are very good, April. Thanks for inviting my herd," he smiles.
"You're welcome. It just really feels good to have you all in our home," she replies.
When we finish eating, we all go outside for awhile to visit.
"Listen, it's seven thirty already, I think we need to get Annabelle home. It's almost her bedtime," Matt announces.
Caroline starts to stand up too. "You're right honey, I didn't realize how late it was. Annabelle, tell everyone goodbye."
"Bye, bye papa," she says, wrapping her little arms around his neck to give him a hug. She then turns to me. "Bye uncle Damon."
"Goodbye Princess. Pleasant dreams," I tell her, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.
"Bye Uncle Stefan and Aunt April," she says, a little shyly since she doesn't know them very well yet.
"Goodbye sweetheart," Stefan tells her lifting her into his arms. "Do you want a piggyback ride out to your car?"
"Yippe," she squeals when he lifts her onto his neck and trots off behind Matt and Caroline.
"I guess we should get going too, dad. Papa and I have an early tee time tomorrow."
"Oh my gosh, I forgot to invite him. I'm so sorry," April butts in, her eyes wide.
"Don't worry about it, April," I reassure her then turn to dad.
"Thank you again for having us over, April. I had a good time," he tells her, taking her hands in his.
"You're welcome. Please come again."
"We will," I tell her as dad and I start walking to my car. After we say goodbye to Stefan, I drive dad home and say goodnight to him.
When I finally crawl into bed, it takes no time at all for me to fall into a uneasy, restless sleep as pictures of Elena turn over and over in my head as if on a movie reel.
"Damon, where is your head today? You haven't hit the green once," Papa asks.
"I'm sorry papa. I just have a lot on my mind lately."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Better you than Caroline. She's already ripped me a new one, several times as a matter of fact."
Breaking out in laughter, "I love your sister," he blurts out.
"I'm glad you're having such fun at my expense," I utter sarcastically, turning my head away.
"Don't be so serious. Come on. Let's call it a day. I'll buy you a drink when we get back to the clubhouse."
Once we back to the parking lot, I grab both mine and papa's clubs, stowing them in the trunk of my car. Turning to papa, he gestures for us to walk into the lounge.
"I'll have a Bloody Mary. I'm going to go take that booth," I tell him, pointing to the secluded one in the corner.
When he walks over to our booth, drinks in hand, he sets my drink in front of me before taking the seat across from me.
"Spill," he demands.
With my eyes focused firmly on the drink I'm clutching in my hand, "It's Elena. I don't know, papa, she makes me feel so many things. Everything is more intense than it ever was with Ivy. I don't know what to do. She's good and kind and she most certainly deserves better than me. And I don't want to ruin her child."
"What makes you think you'll ruin her little boy? You seemed pretty at ease with him when I saw the two of you together."
"Jeremy is a great kid. I just don't know if I'm cut out for a ready made family. He called me dad," I say, finally raising my panic stricken eyes to my papa's.
"Damon, you have a great capacity to love. I don't know why you sell yourself short?"
"She saw me kissing Ivy."
"Ivy? How did she join the fray?"
"It had to do with a patient I operated on. Anyway, she was so grateful when I told her that her someone would be okay, she planted one on my lips. And I kissed her back," I turn my eyes back to my drink, unable to shake the disgust I feel at myself.
"I don't know how it transpired but Elena witnessed the kiss."
He reaches over, placing his hand over mine. "I'm going to tell you a little story. One that I haven't even told your dad. When I was a young Dr., I was much like you. I wanted to travel and see the world. I fell completely in love with your grandmother. She had other ideas. All she wanted was a nice little house and children. I thought I wanted more so I broke up with her. As you know, I joined the marines and went to Korea as a medic. I was gone for two long years. When I got home from Korea, your grandma was with some other young fella. Every time I saw her with him, a little part of me broke inside. It all came to head when one day, I saw her in a store, sporting a new ring on that finger. I knew I had to try once more before she was out of reach for good," he says, raking his hands through his thick head of white hair.
When he raises his eyes to mine again, he continues. "So one day, I finally summoned the courage and I went to see her. We talked for a good long time and when I went home that day, I thought I'd at least earned the opportunity to get her back. Everyday, I'd send her flowers and some days, I sent chocolates. I either called or went to see her on every one of those days as well. After two months of intense wooing, she gave the other guy his ring back. And the rest is history. So you see, Damon. It's okay to be scared but if this girl and her boy are who you want, don't be afraid. There would be no Jack and in turn, no Damon if I hadn't put every effort into getting Annie back."
"That's some story," I tell him, clasping his hand.
"It is but it's the absolute truth. You need to decide where your heart truly lies."
"Thanks for telling me, papa. It means a lot to me that you trusted me with this. I've got some thinking to do." Each of us take the last swig of our drinks before we leave a tip and walk out the door.
The next few days pass in a blur as I've had surgery after surgery. I've practically lived at the hospital for the last ninety six hours. When I'm finally able to lay down to try to get some shut eye, my mind is filled with the story my papa told me. I know I have to try to make things right with Elena. Unfortunately I think Elena has other ideas. My calls and texts go unanswered. I've even driven to her house a couple of times only to find it dark. Either she isn't coming to the door or she's gone.
The need to talk to her consumes me when I walk into the hospital this afternoon. When I finally see Bonnie, I walk up to her to ask about one of my patients. "Oh Bonnie, before I leave, do you happen to know if Elena is working today?"
"No she's not around. She and Jeremy left town. Apparently her aunt just had a baby. She had asked for this time off months ago. I honestly don't know how long she'll be gone," she tells me then goes back to her charting.
"Thanks Bonnie," I utter, walking away despondently.
Elena:
It feels good to be home. Jenna is doing so well with her new little boy. I also talked to her about Damon. She pretty much told me that it's his loss. If he could so easily throw us away, he isn't worth my time. That was easy for her to say since she doesn't have the emotional connection to him that I have. But after much soul searching, I realized that she's right. He treated me abysmally. Despite everything, I still miss him but I need to move on for both mine and Jeremy's sake. I left with a promise that she and Ric would come to Mystic Falls to see me when the baby is a little older. Jeremy was completely awed by his new little cousin.
We were gone for two weeks so I need to get some groceries. As I'm pushing our cart out to the parking lot, the squealing of car tires get my attention. I can't believe it when I hear the squeal of tires as two cars speed in and around the parking lot. My mouth drops open in sheer horror when I see an old lady stooping to pick up her groceries as one of the cars is speeding towards her. Dropping everything, I run to the woman to shove her out of the way. The last thing I feel is hitting the ground with a calamitous thud as white hot, blistering pain summons the darkness.
Damon:
My pager is alarming like crazy. Quickly I run to the ED.
"What is it, Caroline?"
"Female, hit by a car. They're bringing her child along but he wasn't injured. ETA three minutes."
"I'm going to the ambulance bay," I yell as I run down the hall pushing the doors open. Pacing anxiously, I can hear the sirens getting closer before I finally see it rounding the corner to turn into the hospital.
The ambulance comes to halt and I step over to pull the back end open. The paramedics step out and pull the gurney with them.
When I get a look at the woman, I stumble weakly, needing to grab onto the gurney's frame to prevent myself from falling. "Elena..," I whisper as agony seeps into every cell in my body.
*Tears*. 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road' is my favorite Elton John song ever! Thank you Eva for you friendship and wise counsel. There would be no stories without you. I'm really happy with the way this unfolds. Several times the characters veered off in a completely different direction than what I had planned. Thank you all for your reviews, follows and favorites. Please do hit that review button. I love reading your feedback. 'Shatter Me' has also been updated. Do give that a look. Please read my friend, Morvamp's 'Claiming Hearts and Spaces'. It's so good. Also her stories 'Peering into the Future' and 'How Never Became Forever' are brilliant too. Do give them a look. Have a great weekend...