3. CHERRIES

Hermione drew the curtains, placed the candle on the dresser and lit it. She pulled the cover of the bed over her knees and sat with her legs crossed with Potion Theory open to page 394 in her lap. To her right was a dog-eared copy of Basic Ingredients and their Properties and to her left, a thick leather-bound tome: Concoction Components and How To Use Them. Tucked under her thigh was the secret book; the one she knew she shouldn't have taken, but wanted anyway. Advanced Potion Making. Inside it, the handwritten words that had bothered her so much during her sixth year: This book is the property of The Half Blood Prince. She found comfort in it now, knowing to whom it belonged. It had not been full of dark magic, although it was no secret that the man to which it belonged had dabbled in that pond.

When a knock came at the door, Hermione pulled her wand out of the knot of her hair and dog-eared the page she was reading. It was a light rapping - Minerva she assumed - come to check on her. She looked at the wand tight in her fist and she felt her heartbeat quicken.

"Come in" she said, and with a tentative wave of her wand, successfully unlocked the door.

Hermione looked up, ready to greet her old teacher, and new found friend. Her mouth fell open when she looked upon the looming figure in the doorway.

"Snape?"

"Not who were you expecting?"

"I thought you were Minerva..."

"Sadly not. Should I leave you?"

Hermione chewed the inside of her cheek and shook her head.
"No. It's fine. Can I help you?"

Snape moved into the room; his cloak billowed behind him.
"You're reading... I assumed that you would be out with Miss Brown. I heard the two of you prattling at lunch."

"I thought it was more prudent to get some research done, since I still have a lot to learn."

"Obviously."

Hermione's skin prickled under his stare.
"Did you need something?"

"My book."

"Which one?"

Snape's black eyes looked darker and meaner than they had all year.
"You know full well which one. The one you didn't ask to take."

"Ah. Right. Yes."

Hermione lifted her thigh and pulled out Snape's old book.
"Sorry" she said, dropping her gaze "how angry are you?"

"That depends on your reason for taking it."

"I thought it might help me learn. I assumed that you wouldn't lend it to me if I asked. But mostly," she pondered "... mostly I took it because it's brilliant, I mean look at this-"

She opened the book to where her marker was sat between the pages, and pushed it towards Snape. He moved closer to her bed and looked down at the book.

"It's like this part here-", she said, pointing at a recipe for Amortentia, and a scribbled passage beside it. "The way that you describe the potion's effects, and the care you've taken to list every ingredient and how it works. It's such a tender thing, the way that you think about them- it's more than intellectual... almost spiritual. It makes Potions seem- you make it seem..."

Hermione felt her cheeks run hot.
"... well... beautiful."

Snape's eyes bored into Hermione and then, to her surprise, he raised an eyebrow and there was the flicker of a smile on his face. Not the smirk that she usually saw there, but an honest to goodness smile. She felt a tingle trace her spine in figures of eight. She was warm with the knowledge that it was her words that had brought that rare curve to his mouth and considered ways to make him do it again.

"So, what are you reading right now?" he asked.

She gestured to Potion Theory, open in her lap.
"This chapter on leeches is rather fascinating."

"Isn't it?" Snape said, and there was a flutter of light behind his eyes.

He gestured to the empty space beside her bed.
"May I sit?"

Hermione paused, momentarily startled. She felt her heart thump below the thin cotton of her nightdress and she suddenly wished that they were somewhere less secluded than her bedroom. She nodded anyway and watched as Snape transfigured a stool from an empty goblet on her side table. He took his seat next to her and pulled Concoction Components and Where To Find Them into his hands. He riffled through the pages until he found a similar chapter, also regarding leeches.

"You see," he said, leaning in towards Hermione so that she could see the book, "if you read them side by side, then you get a more complete understanding. It's fine to read them one by one, but to enjoy them in tandem is to really experience-"

He trailed off; looked up at her, and met her puzzled gaze.
"What?" he asked.

"It's nothing" she said "you're just being... nice."

His face fell back to a frown.
"I could bellow at you if you preferred, Granger, but I tried being strict with you earlier and it did not seem to work. So I am trying a different strategy."

"Why?"

"Because, believe it or not, I want you to succeed."

Hermione's eyes sparkled.

"Don't get me wrong, Granger. My motivation for your success is, for the most part, a selfish one. I want Slughorn off my back about his damned retirement. The sooner you complete your training, the sooner he can bugger off and leave me alone."

"I guess-"

"And... I have a vested interest in Potions teaching here at Hogwarts and so I am not willing to sit back and watch you screw it up!"

"That's more like it" Hermione said with a laugh. "You know, at first I thought that you were just trying to make my life difficult with all this 'why not how' talk, but about five chapters into Potion Theory, I realised that you were right. I say that begrudgingly, by the way."

"Of course."

"As much as it truly pains me to admit it, I haven't got a clue what I'm doing, so I might in fact... need you... your help..."

There it was again. That quiver of a smile in his lips. He has a scar, she thought, just there by his cupid's bow. It's funny how the arch of a smile can make someone come to life- okay maybe you should stop looking at his lips? came a voice from somewhere in her mind and jolted her back to the present. Her cheeks filled red again.

"Are you quite alright Granger? You look flushed. Are you sick?"

"I'm fine" Hermione said, and her voice cracked.

She felt the warmth in her cheeks spread across to her temples.
"Maybe I just need some rest?"

Snape's gaze flickered down to lace collar of her nightgown and then quickly back to the books in front of her. He chewed at the skin around his thumb nail as he gave a solemn nod.
"Quite. I will leave you. Thank you for... humouring me."

"Thank you for the books."

She held out his Advanced Potion Making for him to take but he shook his head.

"Keep it" he said, not quite meeting her eye. "Maybe you'll get some use out of it. After all, nobody else I know has ever thought Potions beautiful before. Not even Slughorn, I dare say."

She swallowed and smiled in thanks. Snape stood, transfigured the stool back into the goblet and left it where he had first taken it. He turned his back and in a flurry of his cloak walked to the door.

"Snape?"

"Yes?"

"If you thought I would be out with Lavender, why did you come here to my quarters?"

Snape twisted his mouth back to its usual smirk.
"I did not think you would be in, but I thought it polite to at least knock on your door before kicking it down to retrieve my book."

He straightened his cloak.

"Granger" he said, with a nod, by way of goodbye, and turned through the door.

Hermione waited for the latch to click behind him. She sunk into the sheets, pulled them over her head and begged the earth to swallow her whole.

Hermione walked the hallways to the Great Hall, nodding at a couple of promising Ravenclaws she had observed in class earlier in the day. As she turned to enter, she caught sight of Lavender in conversation with Parvati. Lavender's face was one of hardly concealed anguish and Hermione felt a sting in her chest. She wanted to charge over, knock their heads together and tell them to get a grip. They had been best friends for seven years. It wasn't fair that You Know Who's war was destroying lives even now that he was in hiding. Hermione heard bounding footsteps behind her. She turned and saw Katie Bell, who stopped dead in her tracks, as Hermione had, upon the sight of the two girls talking.

"Uh oh" Katie whispered. "How long has it been since they've spoken?"

"I'd guess six months since their last awkward run in and about three years since their last normal conversation... as friends."

Hermione felt Katie's hand slip into hers.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah" Hermione said "I still feel guilty."

"Why? It wasn't your fault that they fell out."

"I know but... I told Parvati, didn't I? I told her she ran..."

"She did run," Katie said, squeezing Hermione's hand, "and so she should have."

In The First Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione had witnessed something that haunted her even now. Lavender Brown and Padma Patil at the mercy of the werewolf, Fenrir Greyback, whose menacing form loomed above them. Hermione had fired a quick jinx at Greyback, giving Lavender time to make her escape. However Padma had not been so lucky. Before Hermione had the chance to strike him again, he bore his teeth and sunk them into the flesh of Padma's wrist. Hermione struck him again and he turned his back on Padma. He made his move on Hermione, who fled to where other Order Members stood so that they could help her take him down.

Parvati fled to her sister and threw herself to the ground beside her. Hermione was just about to leave to rejoin the action, when Parvati grabbed her by the wrist.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Greyback attacked her and Lavender. She should be okay though."

Parvati held her hands to her mouth.

"Oh Gods! And Lavender? Is she... okay?"

Hermione put a hand of comfort on Parvati's shoulder.
"Yes. Lavender is fine. I jinxed him and she was able to run away."

"But not my sister?"

Hermione shook her head regretfully.
"No, Greyback got to her when Lavender escaped. Then I attacked him again and he left Padma alone and came after me instead."

"And what did Lavender do after she escaped... did she fight him off my sister too?"

"No, Parvati, she got away. She ran..."

Parvati's face fell to thunder, her eyes narrowed and darkened and Hermione realised that she had, not for the first time in her life, said the wrong thing.

"She had to run! She needed to get to safety."

"Did you run?" she snapped.

"I, err- well..."

"No, you didn't! You stayed and protected my sister. Just as my best friend should have done. My best friend, Hermione! She just left her? Alone? She ensured her own safety and LEFT HER THERE?... Where is she now?"

Parvati's tone in her last few words was so cold that a chill moved down Hermione's spine.

"You tell me where she is, Granger!"

"Last I saw she was with Seamus. Listen, Parvati. I was in a position of strength, Lavender was-"

"I don't care. I'll kill her", Parvati said with a voice so flat that Hermione thought she might mean it. "If the Death Eaters don't get her first, I'm going to kill her myself."

"Parvati, your sister will be okay. Look at Bill. He has some wolfish characteristics, sure, but he's still the same old Bill. Greyback hadn't transitioned when he attacked her. Everything will be okay. Lavender did what she needed to do. She didn't do anything wrong-"

"No, Hermione, she did do wrong!" Parvati yelled. "So much for that Gryffindor courage! She left her for dead. Fuck her! And fuck you for siding with her!"

"I'm not siding with anybody- You know what, Parvati?" Hermione said, unable and unwilling to mask her frustration. "I'm sorry but I don't have time to argue with you. I need to get back into the fray. Stay with your sister. I have to go."

Lavender caught sight of Hermione and Katie in the Great Hall and her body sagged as though with relief. Hermione thought she heard Lavender say,
"I should go" as she excused herself and walked towards them. Katie dropped Hermione's hand and reached for Lavender, pulling her in towards them. She put her arm around Lavender's shoulder protectively and Hermione gave her an empathetic smile.

"What did she have to say?" Katie said, coldly.

"We just bumped into each other... literally" Lavender replied. "It was so awkward. I tried to be polite, you know? I asked her if she was okay and if she was enjoying working under Professor Trelawney. She didn't say much, really..."

Lavender's eyes became watery.

"Awh come on, love!" Katie said. "You'll be okay. Although, it really didn't look like a comfortable encounter..."

"It wasn't. She stared at me like I was so evil I rivaled You Know Who. Which isn't fair, is it? I've had enough of it."

"Good for you" Katie said, rubbing Lavender's shoulder.

"Obviously I miss her and I'd do anything to be her friend again, but I don't think I deserve to be treated this way, you know?"

"No" Hermione said "you don't. Not at all. I'm sorry again for..."

"Don't be sorry, Hermione. You didn't do anything wrong either."

"Yeah! How were you to know she was a mad cow?" Katie said, and put her other arm around Hermione so that they were all in an odd but comforting embrace.

"Excuse me!" came a familiar voice from behind them. "Canoodling without me? I'm hurt."

"Get in here, Bones!" Katie said and pulled her too, into the fold.

"What's going on?" Susan asked "Why are we hugging it out in front of the kids?"

"There's only like five kids here..." Katie argued. "Lavender bumped into Parvati..."

"Oh Gods. Do I need to kick her ass?"

Lavender laughed through her tears and wiped her face with the back of her hand.
"This is silly" she said. "I'm fine, I'll be fine."

"Hey? Do you fancy blowing this place off and heading into Hogsmeade for lunch?"

"Brilliant idea, Bones!" Katie said, "are you guys in?"

"Definitely", Lavender said.

"Hermione? You in?"

Hermione looked up at the teacher's table to Snape's empty chair. She would have to meet him in just over an hour for their next training session and if she went into Hogsmeade she would be cutting it rather fine. When she looked at the expectant faces of her friends, she knew that nothing, especially not Severus Snape's wrath, would stop her. However, there was a part of her that she couldn't quite understand, that didn't fear being late because it would make him angry. No, she feared being late, because she didn't want to miss a minute of his training or a word of his advice. She was, to her surprise, looking forward to meeting with him.

"If I don't leave now, I'm going to be late". Hermione said, searching for her purse in her beaded bag. "Although that might disappoint him because I think he secretly loves to taunt me about my time-keeping... Ugh! Where is it?"

"Forget paying", Susan said, waving her off. "I've got this one. Lunch is on you next time, though, Granger!"

"Deal... Thanks Bones."

"Go!"

Hermione patted Susan on the back and darted out of the cafe. She ran to the flower pot port key outside Honeydukes and grabbed it. She appeared in an instant outside the Hogwarts gates and set off into a run.

"Don't rush, Granger!"

That familiar velvet voice came from behind her - Snape.
"I'm running a little behind."

Hermione's eyebrows jolted upwards.
"I didn't know you were ever late" she said in what she hoped was a playful tone.

"I had business to attend to", he snipped.

"Oh... Sorry."

Snape looked at her and then grimaced. She thought a less miserable man might have apologised. A grimace was as close as she would get. She walked beside him. His cloak didn't billow behind them in the dramatic fashion it usually did, and she realised that he had slowed his pace to walk with her.

"What are we doing today?" she asked.

"I thought you might give healing draughts another go, unless you planned to stick to your insane 'no experimenting' rule?"

"It's not a rule" she said sharply "... and it's not insane. I just don't feel comfortable-"

"You need to get comfortable, Granger. The time for perfecting someone else's recipes is over. It is time to concoct your own."

"What if I can't?"

He stared at her, incredulously.
"What are you talking about? Are you telling me that the great Hermione Granger, who I have been led to believe is the most talented and promising witch Hogwarts has produced in over three decades, is what? Not up to the task?"

"I don't think that's who I am anymore."

"Nonsense. You are quite accomplished."

She looked at him with suspicion and he met her eyes.

"And you're a know-it-all and a show off..."

"Not anymore."

"Why? What changed?" he asked, sedately.

"I did."

Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat as Snape stopped walking and turned to face her. He moved closer to her and spoke quietly, so that only she could hear him.

"I have heard whisperings. You do not practice your magic much anymore. Why?"

"I don't know... it's just... ever since the first battle..."

He gazed at her and she studied his face for pity or judgment. She did not find any.

"Are you unable to control your magic? Or are you frightened to use it?"

"The latter."

"Yet you make the exception for potions. Why?"

"You can control potions; you can do it in your own time. Potions doesn't demand anything from you. It doesn't require you to think quickly or act rashly. Potions are neutral. There are no dark potions and light potions."

He nodded his head as though he understood.
"There are no unforgivable potions", he said.

"Exactly! My magic feels dangerous. Not that I can't control it, because I can and I use it occasionally; I still use basic spells from time to time. But I'm not as interested in using it anymore because I've seen the destruction it can do. I know it sounds silly."

"No. Not silly. It is, in fact, one of the few sensible things I have ever heard you say. Very few witches and wizards think about magic in such a way. We don't consider the power and responsibility that comes with it. Perhaps those of us who were raised with magic, do not give it a second thought? We do not know any different. But Granger, what do you plan to do when the second battle comes? Will you not fight?"

"I don't know. What about you? Will you fight?"

"I assume so" he said thoughtfully, "although I have yet to decide for which side."

When they made it to the potions classroom, Snape set Hermione up with a cauldron and some ingredients.
"Brew a healing draught", he said. "Use as many or as few of the ingredients as you wish, but make sure that it is entirely your own creation. I want you to create something to treat this."

Snape rolled up his sleeve, revealing a nasty laceration on his forearm. It looked almost as though he had tried to slice off the dark mark, although she knew that was on his other arm. Not that she'd ever seen it. He always kept his sleeves buttoned down to his hands. As she looked closer, she saw that it wasn't just a cut, but surrounded by raised bumps, as though he'd been hit with a stinging hex.

"How did you-" she started.

"You have forty minutes", he interrupted. "You may start."

Hermione stared blankly at the ingredients in front of her. She assumed that he had provided her with these in particular, because he thought at least some of them might be useful. She started with a base of water as she always did, and then added three sprigs of lavender - the name of her friend - which seemed as good a place as any to begin. She didn't know what or why, but something drew her to the Pungous Onion, used as part of a cure for boils. She chopped two measures and dropped it into the pot. She then reached for the pot of honey and spilled in a generous serving to sweeten it. Nobody in their right mind would want to drink something that tasted of lavender and onion. Not that it mattered too much, if it worked. The honey also acted as a thickening agent. She added two drops of dittany to help prevent scarring once it had healed over.

When she looked over at Snape, she saw that he was writing with a black feather quill on fresh parchment. She thought that he might either be taking note of her recipe, or making notes on how incompetent she was. Maybe he was jotting down all of the insults that came into his head so that he could hurl them at her afterwards. Hermione unstoppered a little pink bottle and added ten drops, then twelve drops of thick yellow liquid from a glass vial. She stirred the mixture anticlockwise four times.

"How many times did you stir that?" he asked.

So he was writing down her recipe. Thank God.
"Four times."

She then popped in a scrap of silver, in case the wound had been the work of a werewolf - it didn't look like one, but better safe than sorry. Then she added a single leech. Finally, she stepped away from the desk and pulled a jar down from one of the shelves. She de-stoned and crushed twenty cherries and dropped them into the concoction. She stirred it clockwise seven times and then anticlockwise twice more.

"Seven clockwise. Two anticlockwise", she said.

Snape nodded.

Hermione took her wand from the desk and waved it over the cauldron. She looked nervously at Snape who had showed little to no sign of a reaction. He stood from his seat, grabbed a bottle and a ladle from the work surface and handed them to Hermione. She spooned a large serving into the bottle and handed it back to him.

"What do you think?" she asked, her heart racing behind her rib-cage.

He looked at it, smelt it, and then, without hesitation, took the vial to his lips and drank the whole thing down.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He stared at her.
"Testing it" he said, as though this shouldn't really have needed an explanation.

His face turned to one of bemusement.
"It tastes rather pleasant" he said and pulled up his sleeve, to reveal a pink line where the unsightly cut had been before. "And, to my consternation, it actually works."

Hermione's mouth fell open.
"I did it?"

"Yes, Granger."

"I did it!" she said, this time with enthusiasm.

She was taken on the wave of euphoria that crashed into her and she threw her arms around Snape's neck.
"Thank you!" she said.

His body was rigid and she couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Granger. If you do not kindly unpeel yourself from me right this instant, I will hex you into next week and we both know that you will not be able to defend yourself."

"Well, that's just a low blow, isn't it?" she said, with a genuine smile, and she took her arms from around his neck.

She realised then that Snape was funny. She was sure that he hardly meant to be, but he was. That surly, sarcastic attitude made her laugh. If she gave back as good as she got, then it would stop being cruel and unsettling, and it would become something more like banter.

"Even in my weakened state, Snape, I'm sure I could still kick your ass in a duel."

She grinned at him and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Oh really? That sounds like a challenge to me, Granger. You and me? In the courtyard? Now?"

"Nah. It doesn't feel right to kick an old man's ass."

He glared at her, then he smirked.
"I'm forty one, not one hundred and forty one. I could duel circles around you. I've been dueling longer than you've been alive."

"I wouldn't brag about that."

His mouth fell agape and his eyebrows furrowed. Then, to her surprise and delight, he smiled at her. Another honest smile. The sight of it lit a fire in her chest. She urged it to extinguish, but still it roared inside her.

"Do they not teach muggle children to respect their elders?"

"You're right", she said, "you should be respected and handled delicately... like the antique artifact that you are."

"How dare you!"

They shared a grin and Hermione felt the flames flicker in her chest.

"Listen, Snape. All jokes aside, I want to thank you. I would never have created anything without your help."

"Now now, Granger. Don't go all soft on me; I haven't the patience for it. You didn't need me. You did it all by yourself. I simply sat here and I watched."

"But without your help over these months-"

"Believe me, I loathe giving you credit, but regrettably, it is due. You did it, Granger. All by yourself. You are perhaps almost as capable as I was led to believe."

Hermione shifted her weight from side to side, and crossed her arms. She could feel the warmth creep again onto her cheeks.
"Thank you. I can't believe you drank it though, I could have killed you."

"I watched you make it didn't I?" he said. "I wouldn't have taken even a sip if I had thought that it wasn't going to work. But I knew that it would, even before you started to make it. I have seen what you can do with a cauldron. You are... excuse me if I wretch while I say this, but you are rather talented. I've been pushing you to do better because I knew that you could. The only person who needed convincing of your ability, was you."

Hermione stared at him in disbelief. He was capable of praise, then? Even if it irked him to give it.
"Why weren't you like this when you were my teacher?" she asked.

"Like what?"

"Well... a good teacher..."

Snape scoffed.
"Is it not obvious? I hate teaching. I consummately abhor it. I hate children and the feeling seems to be mutual. I only stay in this blasted school because The Dark Lord wants me to keep an eye on Dumbledore and Dumbledore wants to keep his eye on me. Anyway, Granger... we are out of time again. But before you go, answer me this... why did you add the cherries?"

"I don't know... I just like the smell of them, I suppose."

"I do too" he said, narrowing his eyes "which is why I use them in all of my own creations. How did you know that?"

Hermione looked at him and said truthfully, "I didn't".