Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your reviews, they just keep getting better! Here's the next chapter. I forgot to apologise for the lateness of the last few chapters, my bad!
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Keep happy and reviewing!
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Tears don't fall
Atemu
The heart's war
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting they won't.
I've gone over a million different scenarios in my mind, the exact moment when Yugi tells me he loves me after all. I thought he'd look frightened, worried I was going to throw his actions back at him. He didn't. He was confident, spoke with conviction and passion in his eyes. He wasn't doubting himself.
I imagined I'd be angry with him for some reason.
...I didn't think I'd be so deathly frightened I'd find tears in my eyes...
Something had robbed me off my breath when he uttered those longed for words. A vice had clamped in my chest and my pulse had started to race. I wasn't relieved, there was no weight lifted from my chest. I was afraid he was lying, trying to appease me only to rip it away from me when he got bored. I was worried he'd blame me for it. I didn't want him to hate me. I didn't want Jou to be angry with me.
But mostly, I was afraid this was a dream. That I'd finally given up and something inside me had snapped. Everything was so real. I could smell the toothpaste Yugi had used. The bench was to hard beneath me, splinters pointing through my jeans, pricking my skin. Someone was yelling in the distance, cars were roaring past.
And I could feel Yugi's hands on my face.
I could see the truth in his eyes. He stroked my face, smoothing away tears as they continued to fall, staining his shirt. Ashamed I pulled away from him and scrubbed my hand harshly over my eyes.
"What's wrong, Yami? I didn't mean to make you cry."
"Don't do this to me. Don't lie to me. Why are you doing this to me?"
He caressed my cheeks, warming them against the cold. He was trying hard to understand. Somewhere inside I knew my reaction was unreasonable. He folded his arms around me silently. It felt foreign, being held by him, being noticeably weaker. It went against everything I'd taught myself. Against years worth of sleepless nights and tormented dreams.
"Shh, Yami, please. Don't cry, it's all right."
"Why have you just worked it out? Why couldn't you have loved me four years ago?"
"I don't know. I was a silly, ignorant little boy and I never thought to love you."
"Didn't you love me as your dark? Was I nothing too you?"
I didn't understand where these words were coming from. They were not what I intended to say. I wanted to snatch them back before they stole Yugi away from me again. He didn't seem offended, he held me tighter against him, pushing my face into his shoulder. His fingers toyed with the band holding my hair in place.
"You were everything to me. You kept the bad men away, protected me without being asked and I know you never expected anything in return."
I sniffed pathetically, cursing my weakness. "I sold your soul to Dartz and brought you into the shadow realm."
"Mistakes, everyone of them. You're human."
"I tried to kill, Kaiba."
He laughed softly. "Who hasn't?"
A sob wrenched from my throat, I gripped the back off his coat desperately. "I'm sorry for everything I've ever done wrong."
"Be quiet you idiot. None of that matters. You were forgiven years ago. Please, stop crying."
On his gentle command my tears dried on my face, fears curled into submission. I made no move to pull away from him and he seemed to have no desire to release his grip on me.
"I've told you so many times but I wish I could rewind time and fix what I did to you." He whispered
I heard the guilt and sensed his remorse. That familiar feeling fluttered in my stomach, the one that told me that I too suffered from guilt. We'd made a mess of the last few years. But now we were desperate to fix our mistakes, trying to hold some part of us together. I drew back and rubbed my fingers against his frozen cheek.
"Don't feel guilty. I...I don't want you guilty. I want you to understand."
"Yami, listen. While I know I hurt you. I will never fully understand what it did to you."
"Why?"
"Because I am not you. I don't feel all your emotions. And also because you're keeping that link very closely guarded."
I smiled sheepishly. Glancing up at the darkening sky, I sighed. He followed my gaze, a knowing yet sad smile crossing his lips.
"I have to go now. Scott will be worried." My voice was oddly quiet in the dusk light.
"All right."
I looked at him, he was unsure, trying to hide that he was upset. But I know him, he cannot hide from me any more than I can hide from him. I pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead, a whisper of a promise breathed around us. He studied me, confused.
"I need time. Give me time?"
He smiled. "Of course."
I stood and turned, the darkness closed in around me. I fought the urge to look back.
...You are not rejected, aibou...You surprised me that's all...I wasn't ready for you to confess...But I mean what I said...I need time...
"Smile any wider, Atemu and your face will split in half." Scott commented, throwing a glance at me over the top of his computer screen.
I snorted, flipping through the pages of the glossy magazine as I lay with my stomach pressed to the bed. The colourful pictures and bold headlines did little to attract my attention, my mind focused on Yugi. Scott laughed at my reaction, I heard the clicking of the keys stop.
"What's got you so happy?"
I ignored him, faking interest in a article about men's health. Grimacing at the content, I turned onto my back, pillowing my head on my hands. I studied the cracks in the ceiling, finding where they merged into one.
"Atemu. Tell me!" He begged
"Shut up, Scott. I'm not going too."
He swivelled around on his chair, a gleeful smile on his lips. I groaned, watching as he drew closer to me and perched on the bed beside me.
"Yugi, right?"
I frowned, unnerved by his assumption. I shrugged, lifting my hands up to wind my fingers together.
"Oooh! That means yes!"
I turned to him in amusment. "You are such a girl."
"Asshole." He punched my shoulder playfully "But seriously, it went well?"
"Better than I hoped."
"Oh yeah?"
I blushed, his eyebrows shot up. "Not that good." I mumbled
"Shame."
I let my fist connect with his arm lightly. "I kinda flipped out on him though. Probaly scared him witless."
"Atemu, seriously you gotta stop that. Will you just talk to the guy?"
"I did."
"All right. And?"
"And I flipped out on him as I said. Damn, can't believe I did that!"
I pulled my pillow over my face, groaning into the material. Scott laughed, poking my stomach with a stumpy finger.
"Surely it can't be that bad. Tell me what happened."
"HetoldmehelovedmeandIdon'tknowwhattodo." I babbled incoherently
Scott blinked, struggling to catch up with my words. "Try again, Atemu. I don't understand."
I clutched the pillow tighter to my face. "He told me he loved me and I don't know what to do."
"Hold on a sec. He said he loves you and you're still not happy?"
"I guess."
"Jesus man, stop thinking and let it happen."
"What do you want me to do? Dance around and fall into his arms?"
"Hell no, that would terrify the kid. OK, tell me do you love him?"
"I think so." No hesitation stirred in my mind. I shoved away the fear and lingering doubts.
I thought I heard something crash to the ground outside the door. A whisper of a voice tickled my ears but Scott seemed unconcerned, so I turned away.
Scott thumped my back "So tell him."
"I need time."
He sighed "Sometime soon you're gonna run out of time."
"I know. But I need it."
Scott shoved away from me and settled in front of his computer screen. I lost myself to my thoughts.
...All I ask for is time...Can you give me that?...
I backed out of the room, Scott's straining computer silenced by the door. There was something wrong, a forboding sense that didn't belong in the house. I stepped on something as I went to move away from the door. I looked down, frowning at the broken shards of china. Lucy's favourite mug laid destroyed outside my door. Confusion settled on my mind as I swept the peices into my hand. It made no sense to see this in the hallway and I headed toward the kitchen.
...Strange...I feel like I'm being watched...
...
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Sorry about the length.