Choices

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling and Warner. If it belonged to me, all the Marauders would be alive. =)

Last Chapter

"You all know about our spy within Voldemort's ranks. The problem is that Severus used to get all the information from Voldemort himself..." more flinches when Dumbledore said his name. "...so we don't know if he will get anything from the other Death Eaters. I'd like you to find information, anything that will help us save Remus Lupin. And I want you to prepare yourselves. We might need to attack them soon."

Being dismissed after this, people went home. One thing was common in all of them, though: Determination to save their friend.

Sirius Black had never been so interested in something. He had never worked so hard to get something done. Of course he had already used a lot of energy to achieve some particular goals, becoming an animagus to help Remus was just one of the best examples. But then, he had been motivated by the feeling of helping a close friend. Most of the times, however, his only impulse was curiosity. Some others, the idea that doing something would create opportunities he'd be interested. But this time, it wasn't such a shallow purpose that motivated him to go on.

It was guilt. Sirius was so drowned in his on guilt that the only thought in his mind, from the moment he woke up until the time his body gave up and he slept about 20 hours later, was how Remus was in danger, and how it was only his fault. After 3 and half, 4 hour maximum, he would wake up again and leave, generally before sunrise.

He went to the Ministry, to Hogwarts, and even once to his parents' house, making sure, of course, that anybody wasn't there. He wanted information; he wanted to know where his best friend was. He checked for anything that would give them the idea of where his crazy cousin could be, but the whole search always came out blank.

He barely stopped. He went to the bathroom when he couldn't hold any longer, and he surely didn't stop to eat. Actually, he wouldn't be able to tell if he ate the last few days at all. He was focused, and there was nothing, physical or not, that could make him lose that focus.

He didn't have his apartment anymore, because his hag of a cousin had completely destroyed it, and cursed most of his stuff, but he couldn't even make himself sad over the loss of his adored kitchenette. As if in a wordless agreement, he was staying at the Potters', but they didn't even see him there. He arrived at the same time – the time the Ministry would close – and went to his bedroom. Either Lily or James would bring dinner to his bedroom, which he would then thank and bid a farewell. He woke up so early that he didn't even see his best friends.

Of course James and Lily knew that Padfoot was under a lot of pressure, but they knew better than to force him to slow down and to try to make him see that nothing of this was his fault. They ached for telling him something new, but as the Order hadn't gotten any good information, their hands were tied. It was only after a while that Albus finally told James they had discovered something, and that they would go "on a mission" the other day.

Sirius arrived at Potter Manor around 8 p.m., basically the time he arrived every day. Remus had been missing for little over ten days, but Sirius couldn't make himself stop and rest. He just apparated outside the wards and entered the manor, starting to go upstairs immediately.

"Padfoot?" James' voice came from the dining room next to the hall. Sirius froze halfway up the stairs. "Could you come here for a minute, please?" He heard his friend asking.

Sirius had a quick internal conflict. He wanted to go and talk to James, but he felt he needed to head straight to his bedroom and check again all the properties that belonged to Bellatrix, her husband, her brother-in-law and Lucius Malfoy. He couldn't get over the feeling he had overlooked somthing, that he should try a little harder, but Sirius knew that he eventually would have to face his friends, who of course were only trying to help.

A silent debate was going on his head. He felt like he had the duty of finding Remus, but he alse knew he had been unconsciously avoiding James and Lily, and even his godson. Finally, his loyalty to his friends took over and he went back to the hall, and then entered the large dining room.

Lily was sat at the opposite side from the entrance of the room, her back to the arch that led to the kitchen. James was standing with a baby plate half full of food and a baby spoon, clearly feeding Harry, who was sat, highly amused, at the high baby chair between his parents. The table had dinner on it, but Sirius didn't even have time to register it, since the moment he entered the room, Harry stopped paying attention to his father and looked at him.

"PAFOO!" He shouted, smiling as if he had just seen Father Christmas. Sirius couldn't hold his smile for seeing his beloved godson so happy just because of him. 'I hope I never fail him like I failed Remus.' His smile disappeared as fast as a bulb burning out.

Lily didn't realize it, but James, who knew Sirius better than anyone else, saw through it. He gave the objects to Lily, so she could continue feeding Harry, and got near his friend.

"Padfoot… How are you, mate?" He asked with his eyes full of concern, but Sirius didn't see it, as he kept on looking at Harry. Now that they were close, James could see how affected by the whole kidnap he was. He had deep dark circles around his eyes because the lack of sleep, and he obviously had lost weight. His eyes were hazed, and his whole body seemed too tense. James could notice that Sirius had lost some weight, and that sickened him.

"I'll be fine as soon as we get Remus back." He answered, his voice nothing more than an audible whisper. James sighed deeply and put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Sirius, pal, have you been sleeping regularly?" James said, his voice careful. He knew his friend was hurting, and it would be better not to push. Sirius took a fast glimpse of his face before nodding and staring at the floor. "Have you been eating?"

"Yes, Prongs, I…" He started, only to be cut out by Lily, much to James' utter terror.

"No, he hasn't." Sirius jerked his head up to stare at the woman, his eyes narrowing. She had left the almost empty plate on the table and was looking at him with her hands on her hips, and they both knew she was going to tell him off. Harry seemed to understand that this was an important conversation, as he stayed there in silence, looking from his dad to his godfather. "I have seen the dishes Gally brings back from your bedroom, you have barely touched them."

Sirius face rapidly closed into a frown. "So you have been checking how much food I eat, uh?" He said, his eyes flashing dangerously with anger. "I thought I could make myself at home, but it seems…"

"Padfoot, you are home!" James said, desperately.

"Obviously I'm not, James! There's someone checking on my plates!" He turned back to her, his face closed in anger. "What, I don't have the right to eat how much I want, Lily?" He scowled. She just looked surprised by his sudden outburst.

"No, that's not what it is, Sirius…" She said.

"So what is it, then? Why do you have any interest in how much I eat?" He said, still glaring at her. Her famous short temper was running out, and her face was beginning to turn as red as her hair.

"Because we are worried! You've been stupid for not eating, sleeping! You look like you're sick!" She said, frowning as well. James just stared from his wife to his best buddy, his eyes wide in shock.

"Don't worry about me! Just leave me alone!" He said, his voice dangerously low.

"Okay, then, I'll leave you alone!" She shouted. "God, you just think about YOURSELF, Sirius!"

As soon as the words escaped her mouth, she regretted them. Sirius took three steps closer to her, and even if both she and James trusted him, and there was the table between them, she took one step back. "Don't you dare raising your voice to me, Evans!" He hissed, his voice poisonous. She felt the fear climbing up her back, and she put her hand over her mouth. "Don't you dare calling me selfish! I'm fully aware of what I am, but you have no idea what I've been through these days. So, PLEASE, stop being such a bloody bossy BRAT and leave - me - alone!"

He turned and left the dining room. Both James and Lily looked shocked. Sirius had never showed such deep rage towards them. Of course they trusted him their lives, and both of them knew he would never do anything to hurt Lily. But the sheer anger in his voice shocked them deeply, but it had happened so fast neither of them had realized what was going on until it was too late.

Every now and then Lily told the Marauders off, and most of the times it was Sirius himself who was the target, but he always apologized guiltily or looked like a told off child. What she didn't realize, though, was that, this time, she should have kept quiet. Sirius was on the verge of breaking down, so it wasn't surprising that he was short tempered. This was the first time Lily realized he was an adult. That he actually was a few months older than her. That she just couldn't tell him off, because he had the right to do whatever he wanted.

And that she had been extremely unfair to him.

Remus didn't know how many times he had passed out. He just knew it had happened a lot and he couldn't wait for it to happen one more time. He had been beaten, whipped, cut and cursed, so passing out felt like a good vacation on oblivion.

He wouldn't know for how long he had been there, and he didn't know where he was, but he surely knew who his attackers were. Show offs like the Death Eaters felt pleasure on showing their faces to those they tortured, so Remus knew exactly to whom those whips belonged, or who had cast which specific curse.

He knew, for a fact, that Snape had been there. Strangely enough, the old enemy of the marauders didn't hurt him at all, saying he was being waited, but would try to come back as soon as possible to 'have a little fun'.

For instance, he knew who was casting the pain curse consuming his whole body just now.

"So, half-breed, are you ready to tell me where the little revolting prat is?" Bellatrix said, loud enough to be heard even with Remus' screams. She lifted the curse just enough for him to breath and answer.

Breathing was getting harder and harder, but Remus filled his lungs with air again to answer the question. "N-never!" He said, even his voice trembling.

The curse was back and the little air he had inhaled was gone again. He could hear Bellatrix laughing madly just over him.

"You know, filthy monster, eventually, you'll give up and tell me what I want to know. And then, I'll kill your blood-traitor friends, one by one, in front of you. And then I'll kill the little insect forcing you to watch. And finally, I'll put you in a cell with a dementor. Let's see how long you survive reliving the deaths of your miserable, insufferable friends."

The whole thing would have shocked Remus deeply. But around the middle of her passionate speech, darkness engulfed him, and he thankfully embraced the painless silence of passing out.

Severus was still shocked. Only 24 hours ago he had seen one of his childhood enemies being whipped, hurt and cursed at. He despised the man, of course, he almost killed him with his disease after all, but he couldn't help not feeling shaken by the view of someone his age in such shape.

Remus Lupin was something like a bloody mess. His eyes were swollen, his lips cracked in many different spots. His left arm and his right foot were in weird positions and he seemed to be suffering the effects of a progressive curse.

Severus taught the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff third years with as little interest as possible. In fact, he wasn't teaching at all, but rather walking around and seeing how well the students were brewing the Shrinking Solution they were supposed to. The class was a review, so he didn't have to say anything, which pleased the man deeply.

Discovering where Lupin was, and actually going there wasn't easy at all. The other Death Eaters did not trust him, so he had to invent some story about the Dark Lord so they would let him go there. Even with the false information he was using, Lucius had to intervene quite a few times before everybody accepted his presence.

"Ten points from Hufflepuff. Clean this mess and disappear from here." A stupid girl did something wrong and some of the potion spilled all over her table.

It took him about one day to find someone who would let him get to the place where the werewolf was being held. He didn't think he would make it, but Dumbledore kept on telling him to have faith, and in the end the old man ended up being right. 'Once again' the annoyed man thought.

Now, it was just a matter of time for them to save the man. Severus Snape inhaled deeply. He was tired of this game, the whole thing was giving him a headache and his humor was foul. Well, he might as well cheer himself up. He grinned and started scolding some students.

'Ah, it's good to scold children.' He thought in contentment.

Sirius was lying on his bed. After all he had been through just to come up and continue working, he found himself unable to do anything more. He was so angry with the whole situation he could barely keep himself from going back to Lily and shouting more at her, but of course he knew none of this her fault. He was angry at her not because she created this whole mess, but only because of what she said and the way she said it.

He felt bad for shouting at his friend, his sister-in-law, but he didn't regret what he said. He, selfish? Maybe. Probably most of the time. But if once in his life he hadn't been thinking about himself, it was now. All he cared about was finding Remus.

Remus... His other best friend, compainion for every time. James may be his best friend, his brother in everything but blood, but Remus was his haven. Whenever he needed support, there Remus Lupin was. And because of him, Sirius Bloody Black, Remus' life was in danger.

Every time he closed his eyes he remembered the moment in which he left his best friend behind. He didn't want to, but he just couldn't avoid it. And then his masochist mind would start creating the image of Remus being tortured and then finally being killed. No different than all the other times, his eyes filled themselves with tears.

A soft knock on his bedroom's door brought him back, snapping him from his pitiful trance. It had to be James. The elves would not go to his room, and Lily... Well, Lily wouldn't go talk to him just now, right? Or would she? Before deciding whether to answer the door or not, it opened and James walked in, closing it behind him.

Sirius couldn't help feeling worried about his friend's reaction to having his wife shouted at, but James looked just calm. Concerned, if anything, but he kept himself from saying anything and just stood there, staring at his friend, not in an awkward way, but some way that didn't upset Sirius at all. After a minute that seemed to have been an hour and could be remembered as a second, the dog animagus sighed and moved so he was sat on the large bed. He met his friends eyes and nodded slightly, inviting James to sit, which he did.

Another minute passed before Sirius decided to speak.

"Prongs, mate, I-I'm sorry for shouting at your wife..." He started

"Padfoot, I have already told you I'm not going to take sides. I never have, and I never will. I understand both of you, and I'll just wait for you two to settle things down." the stag animagus sighed loudly. "If you and her never spoke to each other again..." James said, only to be cut by his friend.

"What? Come on, Prongsie, this is nothing, we surely will be ok in just..."

"I know, Padfoot..." James said, sighing again. "What I mean is, IF, and I pretty much doubt it, not to say hope it doesn't happen, you two start hating each other, you'll keep being my brother, and she'll keep being my wife."

Sirius barely nodded. He actually didn't know what to say.

"I didn't come here to talk about Lily, though." Prongs continued after some time of silence. "She asked me to tell you she's sorry, but the reason for me to be here is not this one. the real reason is... We care for you, Paddie... It hurts us not having Remus around, and knowing he's in danger, but, sincerely, it feels like we've lost two of our best friends. Three, if you consider..." James' expression darkened as he stopped speaking. Sirius sighed.

"It's j-just..." the tears were back, which upset Sirius even more. He had promised himself, after the events that led him to move in with the Potters, that he wouldn't cry. And there he was, crying. "I-I don't know w-what to do, James. I feel this is all my fault, and I have no one to help me..."

"Sirius! How can you say such a thing? First of, this is none of your fault! And you are not alone! The order's here for you. Frank and Alice are here for you. Dumbledore is here for you. Jesus, not to mention me and Lily! All we want is to help you!" James said, his voice sometimes reaching some high piches.

"You and Lily have each other to take care of, Prongsie. I mean, I reckon it all boils down to this, in fact. You and Lily have yourselves to take care. And then there's Harry, who doesn't deserve losing attention for anything in this world. and here I stand, lonely. I know I'm not alone, but I feel lonely, no matter how much attention you and Lily and Harry give me. R-Remus has been my safe haven for as far as I can tell. You, James, were the first person to show me what happiness is. Without you I would be eternally sad. On the other hand, Remus taught me what it means to be safe. And without him, I feel... b-broken! Useless! Worthless! H-he always t-tells me what to d-do. H-he he-helps me. And now, I don't know what to d-do and h-he's not h-here for m-me." Sirius didn't know when he started crying, but when he finally stopped speaking, his whole body was shaking because of his sobs. He was in pain, a lasting, nasty pain, and there was nothing he could do against it.

James side hugged his brother, putting an arm over his shoulders.

"Listen, Sirius. Dumbledore found some information on where Remus might be. We're going there tomorrow. It might be nothing, but at least we're doing something."

Sirius stopped crying and jerked his head up. "Where? Where, James? I tried everywhere!"

"It seems like it's property that belongs to your cousin Narcissa." Sirius felt like slapping his forehead. How could he have missed this?

"What time?"

"Just before sunset." James said.

Then, the two marauders stayed in silence for some minutes. Finally, Sirius opened his mouth.

"Prongs..." His voice wasn't louder than a whisper. "Thanks for listening. I-I guess it helped putting everything out of my chest..."

"This is why I'm here, Pads. Every time you need, pal... Every single time. Always." James gave his friend a warm smile and stood up, still facing Sirius, who smiled back. A thin, shaky, hesitant smile, but still a smile.

"And now, I'm leaving. Rest, we have lots to do tomorrow. And Padfoot, I'm thrilled to see you're so in touch with your feminine side, but care not to get too girly, okay?" James said, grinning. Sirius barked a small laugh and threw a pillow at his best friend. But then, the pillow hit the door, already closed after James left. Walking back to his bedroom, James felt a bit better for hearing his friend laughing. It had been such a long time without any laughs from Sirius...

Sadly, James also noticed how Sirius' mouth extremities still didn't go even nearly close to his eyes.

A.N.: A short, SHORT chapter. The shortest so far. I'm sooo sorry I set up a date, but had to change it... I hate when the authors do it, and I ended up doing it myself.

The reasons why I had such a small chapter: The next one is Remus' rescue. I didn't want to start just now. Another thing, I've been feeling a bit undermotivated to continue, and I'm starting to get some early signs of a writer's block because of this. I'm happy with the attention Choices is getting so far, but the lack of feedback is a bit frustrating. And the fact that my life's been hectic these days isn't helping either.

A special SUPER thanks for everybody who reviewed, followed and favorited so far. You guys are great, and I check each and every one of you. Special thanks to EmilyMoo23, narniaandharrypotter4ever and lise pretter, the first reviewers of chapter 07. Thank you for your attention. And I'm thrilled to announce that Dan's back! I missed you, honey! x*

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Cheers!