Rueful Regret
January 2016
Hartford
Rory was barely out of the car when she heard the yelling.
"I just don't understand how this can happen! How hard is it to put one line in a piece of stone? This is the second time! You need to fix it!" Rory turned the corner to find Emily and Lorelai standing next to Mr. Collins, a beleaguered cemetery representative. Richard's gravestone had a mistake. It would have been fine had it not been the second mistake they encountered. While Emily took it in stride the first time, today she was not having it and was in rare form. Lorelai stood by watching her mother, making apologetic faces to Mr. Collins as Emily continued on her diatribe.
"Mrs. Gilmore, perhaps this would be better discussed in the comfort of our offices. We can the stone Mason on the phone, and we can discuss directly with them."
Mr. Collins offered.
"Well, then lead the way. Lorelai? " Emily said without looking at her direction, "Are you coming?"
"No, I think I'll hang back and visit with dad for a while," Lorelai replied. As Emily and Mr. Collins made their way, Rory approached the grave site. "Hey mom," Rory greeted, giving Lorelai a quick hug.
"Hey, kid. You just missed Grandma and her gravestone freak out. Truly epic!"
"I caught a bit of it while walking up. So what wrong now?"
"Forgot the quotation marks."
"Really?"
"Yea and well mom is on edge today so I am cutting her some slack."
As today would have been Richard'sseventy-third birthday, the Gilmore women were feeling a little down.
"Hey Grandpa, Happy Birthday" Rory greeted as she replaced the flowers in front of his grave. Lorelai and Rory stood there silently for a while having their own silent conversations with Richard. After a few minutes, Rory started to tear up. Lorelai leaned over and put her arm around her.
"Hasn't gotten any easier has it?" Lorelai asked
"Nope, it certainly has not, especially today. He would have been seventy-three. Funny to say this, but it just seems so young."
"I think that's because your Grandpa was so full of life. He showed no signs of slowing down..."
"...so fate intervened."
"It was his time Rory. In the end, it was just his time."
Rory started to tear up again. Sensing that her emotions were more than just Richard, Lorelai asked, "Hey, are you ok? Is this just about Grandpa?"
"Why do you ask?"
"You've been so preoccupied lately. Every time we see each other, every time we talk, I don't know, I get the feeling that you are holding back. So, what up kid?"
"I wish...I regret... that Grandpa died before he could see me succeed."
"What are you talking about?"
"There was always this plan. I wanted to be Christine Amanpour, or at least on staff at a prestigious newspaper. Where am I now? Nowhere near Christine or a permanent position."
"Journalism has taken a hard hit the past few years. It's understandable."
"Yes, but it's not supposed to be like this. I am supposed to have everything figured out, I'm thirty- two for Pete's sake."
"Says who?"
"Grandpa had it figured out, so did you."
"Well, I had the added responsibility of another mouth to feed, while Grandpa grew up in a different time where the opportunities were fewer, and influence was king, and life was pretty much set up for him. This is a whole different world, Rory. You are navigating uncharted territory. You are the first Gilmore who really has an open clear agenda in front of her. Having so many choices can make things harder. "
"I just wonder, if I made different choices I would feel differently."
"Like what?"
Like choosing another profession other than journalism. Like not having an affair with my engaged ex-boyfriend, Rory thought.
"Oh, that maybe I should have picked a different profession. Maybe gone to Law School."
"You're not cut out to be a lawyer Rory."
"Yea, I'm not."
"Your Grandfather loved you and was very proud of you. You hung the moon as far as he was concerned. He died your biggest fan, Rory. I hope you know that."
"Yes, I do" Rory replied with a tinge of doubt.