AN: Another content warning for sexual assault. Again it is only mentioned briefly. Also smut.

I'm aware I have been very liberal with artistic license when it comes to how Legilmency works here. Can we all just agree to suspend our disbelief?

10. TAKE WHAT YOU WANT

When they arrived outside Hogwarts, Snape pulled Hermione towards the imposing building, into the privacy of one of its alcoves. He placed his hand protectively on the small of her back and drew her near to him. He cast Muffliato - one of Hermione's favourites of his, because he did it so well, with such flare - and he leant his head into her hair.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better than before, I think, thank you."

"Would you like to be left alone?"

"No."

He smiled.
"Good because I don't want to leave you alone."

Hermione slipped her hands into Snape's cloak and put her arms around his waist. She rested her head on his chest and he took in a deep breath. The sound comforted her, and his familiar scent felt like two warm hands embracing her.

"I missed you", Hermione said. "I know it was just the weekend, but those were two really long days."

"I'm sorry I was absent. I was- well..."

"Ruminating?"

"Ha!" he said. "Quite. I didn't skulk this time however."

"Oh good. You had me worried for a moment there. It's good to know that seeing me undressed is, at least, slightly less stressful for you than trying to get hold of a horc-"

Snape grabbed her mouth with his palm and she shot backwards.

"Jesus, Severus! What the hell was that about?"

"You remember the fucking vow, I suppose?"

"Yeah... but you cast muffliato?"

"Yes, but it's not infallible, Hermione. God! You could have gotten yourself killed. For what? So you could make a sarcastic retort?"

Hermione waited for his seething temper to flare but instead his frown cracked into that beautiful curve and he let loose a burst of laughter.

"Oh God. I forgot the sound of your laugh, I thought I'd never hear it again... you're not mad then?"

"If you had died, then yes, Hermione, I would have been livid. Since you still appear very much alive, I'm not mad, no. But you must be more careful. I won't always be around to stop you from saying stupid shit-"

"Well actually I-"

Severus had stopped dead and blanched. He looked as though something pained him terribly, yet he stood in front of her, fine by all appearances. She looked at him with her eyebrows drawn in concern.

"Severus?"

"Sorry", he said. "I'm fine. You were saying?"

Hermione put her hands back inside the warmth of his cloak.
"I was saying..." she said, tucking her fingers underneath his waistcoat and then again under his shirt so that her fingers grazed his skin."... I think you will be around to stop me saying stupid shit since it's only when you're around that I get stupid."

"Why?"

"You know why."

She lifted her head to kiss him, and he jerked his head slightly so that she missed his mouth and her lips met his cheek.

"I cast Muffliato, woman, we're not wearing an invisibility cloak", he said.

"So what? You all but groped me at Shell Cottage!"

"If The Order see us that is one thing but I would hate for one of the little turds that go to this school to get the wrong idea and think that I have a soft side. That just wouldn't do for my image."

Hermione took her hands from his back.
"You're right" she said, with a coy smile "can we meet later at your room?"

"Absolutely. But only if we can finish what I started at Shell Cottage?"

She winked at him.
"Deal."

"Oh and, by the way, Hermione, speaking of Shell Cottage... what Weasley said about you... about how you've changed..."

"Yeah...?" she said, tentatively.

"He hasn't a clue what he's talking about - you have changed, of course, but that is not a bad thing. However, he is exactly as he always was - too much of a child to recognise what he had with you."

"Maybe."

"Only a child would see you with 'next to no clothes on' as he so phrased it, and be put out by it. I saw you that night; you did not make a fool of yourself. Made a fool of every man who saw you and tripped over themselves, perhaps. You looked... good, Hermione... and happy. Don't let him make you feel otherwise."

"Really? So when you said I looked nice... you meant I looked good?"

"God, yes! In fact, I might have to find a copy of that Prophet, tear out your picture and keep it for the rest of my sorry life."

"Severus, if you don't take me to your room-"

"Can I meet you tonight?" he asked, "I have to do something first. Will you be okay if I leave now? I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Sure, but what do you need to do?"

Severus lifted his sleeve and showed her how the dark mark pulsed black.
"Duty calls."

Severus kissed her lightly on the cheek and with that, he disapparated.

Hermione decided to go straight to Severus' room and wait for him. He had plenty of books, so she wouldn't be bored, and there was little else she wanted to do. She could be there the moment he got back and tend to any wounds or just be there to talk. Hermione was so immersed in Severus' annotated copy of Magical Drafts and Potions that she didn't notice that he had returned. It was incredible how much more interesting the books were when accompanied by black ink in that trademark scrawl. Each insight was expertly thought out and it increased her enjoyment of the text tenfold. How she would have loved to have been teacher's pet to the man who wrote these words. Maybe now that he wasn't her teacher she could finally be his pet.

She felt his presence before she saw him. He always darkened the room like a shadow. The sky outside had faded to absolute black and the only light in the room came from the candles that were close to burning out. How long had he been gone? Hermione snapped the book shut. 'Lumos' she whispered, and her wand on the illuminated the room. She turned to face him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Severus smiled but it wasn't convincing.

"That bad?"

He cracked a true smile then.
"Just awful, but better for seeing you."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's not much to tell you, Hermione. The Dark Lord has begun to finalise his plan of attack. I've just been relaying all the information to Dumbledore. I can tell you the long version if you want, but the short version is much less boring?"

"What is the short version?"

"He plans to use Imperio on low level Ministry employees, so that he can control the ministry by stealth. He plans to make his move here by bewitching a staff member - he suggested Minerva and I laughed in his face. He gave me this as punishment."

Snape lifted his sleeve to reveal a new jagged pink scar, vertical from his wrist to his elbow ditch, on the inside of his forearm. Hermione wondered if Severus had healed himself, or if You Know Who had done it for him.

"I suggested that his best bet would be Horrace, in fact. The Dark Lord is fond of Slughorn in his own way. I feel he is the most protected teacher."

He took in the look of horror on her face.
"He has been warned so he can anticipate it and protect himself. Do not fret."

"What else?"

"The Dark Lord is considering an attack on students. He believes it will help him to work his way from the inside. You remember the chaos when the Chamber of Secrets opened? He's playing a slow game this time."

"He plans to attack a child? I thought he didn't want to spill magical blood or waste young magical potential?"

"That was before, Hermione. Last time he refused to attack the school when the students were present because he recognises the need of a young generation. The young are, in his estimation, easier to control."

"He could always attack Muggleborns, I suppose", Hermione said.

"The Purebloods will be safe, that is for sure. Anyway, that is everything."

"How was it? How are you?"

"Well, I saw the Lestranges, and that was awful and I have a splitting headache because I've been occluding for the past five hours. But you are here, and my worries do not seem so big anymore."

"You've been gone five hours?"

"Yes... I'm sorry."

"No, I didn't realise it had been so long."

Snape dropped on to the bed next to Hermione.
"So, what are we reading?"

He took the book and flipped it over to see the cover.
"Magical Drafts and Potions?!" he asked, incredulously. "Hermione, that's a first year text."

"Yes I know it is, but your insights are fascinating. It's like reading a new book."

"Of course."

"Why didn't you teach us all of this in class?"

Snape chuckled.
"Because I can hardly get my students to meet the minimum reading requirement, as it is. I'm sure the majority aren't even listening to me half of the time. What would be the point in teaching them more than they need to know?"

"Because it's interesting! I would have loved to learn all this."

"It's interesting to you perhaps. You're as much a freak as I am. Potions is hardly considered the most impressive magical art."

"Well maybe it would be if you taught it in the way that you understand it"

"You forget, Hermione. I teach Defense now. You will have to teach it the way that you understand it."

"Or... you could teach me the way you understand it and I'll teach it your way."

"I could teach you my way? I'm sorry. What do you think I have been trying to do these last months? I assure you I've not been trying to get into your knickers. Well... not at first."

He grinned at her.

"Yeah about that..." Hermione said playfully "are you ever actually going to?"

"I don't know. I have to say, I'm really enjoying all these sexually charged moments that drop off to absolutely nothing. There's something satisfying about denying myself what I want. Call it... delayed gratification."

Hermione stared at Severus, her mouth agape.
"Tell me you're not bloody serious?" she asked.

"Of course not!"

"Oh, thank God!"

"Now take your clothes off."

Hermione complied in surrender without a moment of hesitation. She pulled her jumper over her head and Severus made towards her. He tugged at her shirt and dropped it beside them on the floor. He kissed her, long, warm, clumsy and thoroughly electrifying. He stood and tore his cloak from his body. Hermione reached up to him and began to unbutton his waistcoat. There was something about undoing each button that built the tension and anticipation and she relished it. She felt her body flush warm. She unfastened her bra and Severus put his hands on her breasts. He let out a gruff gasp and his eyes locked on hers. He didn't need to be told this time. Her nipples reached their apex under his fingers.

He urged her to lie on the bed and she moved effortlessly with him. He pushed her hair behind her shoulder as her back touched the sheets and he kissed her neck, peppering quick and gentle bites on her skin. Her entire body turned to gooseflesh as he allowed his lips to wander across her collarbone and then he found a nipple and teased her with his teeth. Hermione moaned as he kissed her naval, and pulled down her jeans, accidentally removing everything, leaving her exposed to him. He straightened his back, leaning backwards, so he could look at her. He was so close to her and had a point of view that she'd not anticipated. Her vulnerability thrilled him. She whispered "Nox" and the room fell into darkness.

As though the cover of shadow made him brave, he whispered, "I want to please you."

"You already are."

"I want you... do you want me?"

"Yes."

"I want to see."

"Okay."

Severus grabbed his wand from his cloak.
"Legilimens."

Hermione allowed her thoughts to swill and surge towards him. She gave him the feeling of her body at his mercy at Shell Cottage. The tingle of his hands on her flesh; the feeling of both protection and excitement when his hand lingered just under her breasts. She pushed forwards how much she had wanted him to pull her from the room and make love to her right there under the same roof as all those people who judged them. She urged the swell of pride in her stomach when he had stood up for her, toward him. She showed him what it felt like to undress for him. Her vulnerability and pleasure and the chill of anticipation that so moved her.

She gave him what she had really done to kill the time in his room before his arrival. How she had unbuttoned her jeans and touched herself, warm in his sheets; the smell of him surrounding her, more exciting than any romance novel. She gave him what she felt now; how she wanted to pounce on him like the lioness she was, but instead she would surrender to his desire. She showed him that he was in control. That she was sorry she had been so demanding the last time they had been this close to heaven. She thought the words she couldn't bring herself to say. I won't ask anything from you. I want you to take what you want. Whatever you want from me, is yours. 'What do you want, Severus?' she thought. She repeated this thought over like a mantra. What do you want? Take what you want. What do you want? Take what you want.

Severus moaned as he broke the connection. His eyes filled with fire.
"I want to fuck you", he growled.

"Take it."

His fingertips pulled around the curve of one of her breasts and he traced circles around her nipple. Hermione bit her lip as Severus pulled lightly.
"Yes, like that."

He moved his hand down to her heat and circled her clitoris, as she had done in the secret memory she'd given to him. He allowed his fingers to wander, finding her folds and then asking, seeking assurance.

"Is this okay?"

Hermione nodded. He found her hollow easily, and nervously pushed a finger inside. Her body began to move to his touch. He was encouraged and dared to double up, and using two fingers, he penetrated her. He pulled back off the bed and kissed her mound. She giggled and he allowed himself a moment of weakness as he grinned at her pleasure. He was pleased with himself. It was so intimate, more so than what they were already doing- she was happy, he was vulnerable. They trusted each other: Severus Snape trusted her, Hermione Granger. And she trusted him in return. He kissed her bud and moved his tongue across and around, quickly over it, mirroring the movements she had shown him in the memory.

Her back arched and he feared he had done something wrong and so he pulled away.
"Don't stop!"

He obliged. Running this tongue over, as his fingers pumped inside her.

"Oh God."

She moved her body as though she was trying to bring herself further into his hands and so he used more pressure and worked with the entire length of his fingers. His voice came thick with self-satisfaction.

"You like that?"

"Yes! Severus!"

Her body moved in the beautiful way that it had when she had ridden that magical wave. She rode it once more, her hips moving, and he continued to push into her. She dropped her back onto the bed with a crash and her legs turned to jelly. Still he continued to work his fingers inside her.

"Ow! Okay" she panted "you can stop now."

Severus wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and lay next to her on the bed.
"That was incredible" she said, between deep breaths.

He looked pale- more so than usual, anyway.

"Severus? Are you okay?"

"I thought... Did I hurt you?"

"No, Gods, no. You were amazing."

Snape bit his lower lip, and his mouth split into a wolfish grin.

"That was, yeah, wow. Are you quite sure you've never done that before?"

Hermione placed a hand on his stomach, and slid her hands into his waistband. She wanted to take his shaft into his hand and please him the way that he had pleased her. She stopped herself, for fear of going too far; taking control from him. Instead, she ran her fingers across his jutting pelvic bone. She put her lips to his and their tongues met. He was gentler than she'd expected. Full of want, charged with desire, but more sure, less hurried. He was in control.

The thought of it lit a flame in her like fiendfyre. He unfastened his belt and dropped his trousers, and as he kicked them off, this time he was exposed. She pulled him closer to her, encouraging him on top of her. He concurred. She didn't want to touch him, not until he was ready, and so instead, she opened her legs for him. He found what he wanted quicker still than before, and his mouth fell open and he closed his eyes, as his head brushed at her entry.

He pushed inside her, gently at first, and his eyes rolled with their first contact. He sighed, which became a moan as he filled her. She whimpered in response, and he seemed to take that to mean that she wanted him to keep going and so he moved his hips, filling her and kissing her and touching her. He didn't know where to look or what to touch; as though there was much of her he wanted to explore. Their bodies were barely visible in the light of the single candle that remained aflicker on the windowsill. He closed his eyes and she mirrored him, and they surrendered to the feeling of her envelopment.

Severus ran his hands across her thigh and then wrapped his arm under it, lifting her so that he could move himself faster and more urgently. Her heart battered in her chest and she ached from her hot ears to her curled toes. She wrapped her hands around his neck, closing them, bringing him down towards her. He slowed his pace, hesitating, and his face constricted into one of sadness. Something was wrong.

He pulled himself out of the whatever it was long enough to grab his wand from beside them on the bed and say 'Lumos', showering them with bright light. She was surprised and concerned, but mostly she was eager and aquiver below him - she was willing and glad to be with him. She saw his doubt- his sadness. Hermione understood. She nodded to reassure him and permit him to find further assurance, where he'd found it before. He pressed the wand to her temple once more.

"Legilimens", he said from behind his quaking lips.

A flash of a memory that wasn't the beauty of one of hers, but the horror of one of Snape's. The feeling of lips around his cock. Bellatrix cackling. Her enjoyment. His shame. His secret. His body had betrayed him and he'd surrendered to the inevitable. The humiliation of his unloading into her, and the tears that had followed. Bellatrix wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her robes and the look of disgust on her face when she saw that he wept. Her lifting her wand and screaming 'Crucio!'. His naked body writhing under the pain of a thousand cuts. Then Rodolphus apparating into the room, finding him in this position in his home. How she had stood there fully dressed and told her husband that he had shown himself to her; offered himself. Then came Sectumsempra. A spell of his own making used against him, to punish and humiliate.

Hermione felt Severus' panic rise in his chest and felt her own build in response. He hadn't meant to give it to her. She gave him her thoughts; first her fear for him and her anger at them. Not pity, though. Then, she narrowed her eyes and focused, giving him her pleasure, her arousal. She gave him every feeling he had given her; physical and emotional. She gave him every nerve ending that set ablaze when he touched her. She showed him what it felt now, to have him inside her.

He moved himself further into her, regaining his rhythm - and their thoughts met and intertwined. His feeling of her warmth surrounding his cock, and her feelings of his cock inside her warmth. They got lost trying to navigate through their connection- unsure what radiated from whom but neither cared. Hermione felt a surge of something akin to love - she didn't know what to call it - and she wasn't entirely sure from whom it came. She hoped to God that he hadn't felt it too.

She focused again on her thoughts of him; how he set her on fire. She caught his own thoughts, then. She didn't know if he had meant to give them to her, or if, as before, they had slipped through in a tangle of stress and anguish.

She was Hermione, lovely Hermione who wanted him, needed him to be with her- Hermione who cared for him and comforted him. As he looked at her in the harsh white light, she was all curves and warmth and sweat and sunshine and he was pleased with himself. She wasn't Bellatrix. That memory didn't belong in this moment.

He pushed the thought of Bellatrix and her poison out of the moment. Being a master Occlumens, he knew where to put his dark thoughts and so she vanished; so too did the rest of his thoughts and Hermione was left alone with her own. She allowed them to intensify. The throbbing of her core, the flutter of greed in the pit of her stomach; the aching in her chest, desperate for his touch. He pushed himself deeper inside her and ran his long fingers up to her breasts. She moved in towards him, and as he groaned, her body moved as though it had will of its own; her hips responding to his driving motion, and her head hit the pillow as her back arched for a second time. She locked her eyes on his; he has returned to himself. With all the insecurity and hurt locked in a box, and banished from the present, he allowed his energy to swell and when it threatened to undo him, he surrendered, this time on his terms, and fractured inside her.

The release seemed to conjure emotions that he had not anticipated. All at once his face was full of epiphany and joy and sadness and gratitude and relief in cyclic flux. The combination of all of these, culminated in a heavy burden that burst out of him with an energy to rival orgasm and his body heaved with sobs. Hermione put her arm around him possessively. He buried his face into the comfort of her embrace and poured out his heart until he fell to sleep, exhausted from the sheer agony of feeling so much all at once.