The Potters and the Choices Made
Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me, but to J. K. Rowling and WB. I'm making no money out of this.
After those two very intense and stressful days, life got a lot calmer again. Nobody could forget what had happened, of course, but at least nothing else had happened since then.
Walburga's funeral had been prepared and conducted by Sirius' grandfather, Pollux, Pollux's sister Cassiopeia (that is, Walburga's aunt) and Cygnus, Walburga's brother and Narcissa's father. The three of them didn't seem too far from their own deaths, but they still managed to get things done the way they wanted, so they used their means to have everything related to Walburga in the old Black style.
After releasing his mother's corpse from St. Mungo's morgue, something that he and only he, as her sole descendant, could do, Sirius refused to get close to his mother again. He hadn't attended the funeral and he outright ignored every single attempt of communication sent by anybody from his family, including Andromeda. Despite that, Sirius was still affected by the whole thing, as he spent a couple of days very silent and thoughtful. Even young Harry noticed that his 'dogfather', normally so full of life and laughter, had started to act far too serious, and had made it his mission to make Sirius 'normal' again. Finally, after a bit more than ten days since Walburga's death, things were alright again. Sirius was his normal, childish self, playing pranks and waking Harry up by tickling him.
Harry, on the other hand, was still getting used to the fact that he was not going back to school. Of course he loved the fact that he didn't have to wake up as early and consequently not go to bed right after dinner, but he missed his friends, and staying at home with the company of Snuffles and the house elves wasn't that the least entertaining. The only thing he was looking forward to was the magical lessons he was going to have from now on from his parents and Sirius. They also extended the invitation to Hermione, but the poor girl had yet to wake up from her magically induced coma.
Lily had thoroughly planned the first few weeks of Harry's new magic training. As she went through the notes she had made, she couldn't help but feel frustrated that she would have to teach him only the theory for most subjects, as Harry could not have a wand yet. With a sigh, she grabbed her notes and went downstairs to find her son. It was morning and she had asked Sirius to wake him up, so she thought they would be in the dining room having breakfast. When she entered it, though, she saw Sirius sitting there alone, a toast on one hand and the Prophet on another. As she entered, he looked up and gave her a sheepish smile that denounced that he had probably done something she wouldn't enjoy.
"What did you do now?" Lily said with a sigh, not even troubling herself with getting angry. She'd grown used to Sirius' antics, so she just sat there, put the pieces of parchment on her side and grabbed a muffin from the table.
"I don't know what you're talking about, love." He said, but his face completely betrayed him. Lily, with her mouth full, only snorted and kept staring at him, as if waiting from him to cut it and admit whatever it was that he had done. After fidgeting for about a minute under Lily's stern gaze, Sirius finally gave in with a sigh. "Alright, alright, Harry may or may not have asked me to have breakfast in the living room, and he may or may not have asked to have hot chocolate and Potter cookies for breakfast, and I may or may not have let him."
"Sirius!" Lily chided.
"Come on, Lily, just let the boy have some fun!" Sirius said, running his fingers through his hair, a habit both he and Harry had somehow inherited from James. Thinking about the three doing the exact same thing together made her lips curve up a little, which made Sirius snort at the fact she couldn't keep her anger, even if he didn't know why.
"You prat," she said, fully smiling then, incapable of holding it any longer. "You have to watch out for Harry's sugar intake, he's too energetic as he is." She reached for some butter before continuing. "I blame his father."
"Ha, you have no idea how much chocolate Moony eats every day." Sirius said, smirking. Lily just rolled her eyes and continued as if she hadn't been interrupted.
"Besides, you know I don't want Harry eating and watching the telly at the same time."
Lily knew it was a lost battle, but she kept trying to keep Harry from getting addicted to the telly. Problem was, she knew the kid loved it, and that was something he had inherited from his father. During James' summer between his fifth and sixth year, James' father had bought a telly and the revolutionary VHS system. Both were extremely expensive and, being them muggle, were not accepted by the Wizarding society. But James' father, who couldn't care less about what other purebloods thought, loved the idea and bought them. It was then that James got to know the telly and almost literally fell in love with it. Naturally, some precautions were necessary, such as a room magically shielded from magic (Lily thought that was at least ironic) so as not to interfere with the machines, and electricity was magically created and sent to the sockets. Sadly, the magic around the house stopped the TV signals to get to the room, but James and Harry (and Sirius sometimes) were happy to watch VHS. James' favorite, back when he first got the set, was a cartoon called 'Scooby-Doo'. As usual, Harry's favorite was the absolute same, and Lily knew for sure that, if she went to the living room, that show would be on.
"Whatever." Lily was brought back by Sirius' retort. "Where's James?" He asked, looking at her calmly, with a small grin. Too calmly, in fact.
"He's gone to the greenhouse to grab some plants for me to show Harry. I'll be teaching him the concepts of Herbology and Potions today." She said. As she said it, she saw Sirius sobering up, his grin completely gone. He looked around before speaking.
"Have you told him about... well, you know?" He asked.
Lily fidgeted a little on her chair, uncomfortable. She could sense his eyes on her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him.
"Not yet, no." She finally said. She finally met Sirius' eyes and his glare was almost burning a hole through her face.
"Lily, you either do it or I will." He said softly, but with resolution.
"I will, don't worry. I just... I just don't want him to suffer, that's all."
Sirius' face softened a bit before he continued.
"I know you don't, Lily, but the longer it takes, the more he will." He said, not unkindly.
"I'm just worried." Lily said, her voice quivering, the first wave of need for crying hitting her hard. She had kept all this inside for so long it was finally having its toll. "What if he blames me? What if he doesn't forgive me? What if-"
"Lily, stop!" Sirius said, fiercely. "James loves you, you know that. You know him. Do you honestly believe that's what his reaction will be?" He stopped talking, as if expecting Lily to say something, but she didn't. She knew he wouldn't do that, but she couldn't help but fear it. "That man has loved you even when you were nothing but a prick to him." She winced lightly, but that didn't stop Sirius. "He kept on trying to get you to look at him, to give him a chance, even when you were friends with Snape. He never gave up on you, and we both know he never will. He used to go on and on about how marvellous you were mere minutes before you said awful things to him. Then he would go to bed all depressed because you hated him and somehow still woke up with a smile, trying to find you just to say 'good morning' with a smile to you. He thinks the sun comes out of your behind every morning." He continued, smirking. Ignoring her constricting and hurtful throat, Lily gave him a tearful smile, trying not to let those tears produced during these stressful days fall. "And I understand why. You're a great woman, Lils. James is lucky to have you. Just don't forget that you're at least as lucky to have him as well."
Sirius reached her hand on the table and gave it a gentle squeeze, sending her one of his winning smiles, one that she couldn't do anything other than return. They both took a moment of silence to recompose and Lily discreetly used a napkin to dry the corner of her eyes.
"I'll tell him as soon as he comes back, I promise." She turned to look at Sirius in the eyes, still sporting a smile. "Who would have known you would be one of my best friends, huh, Sirius?" She said, chuckling. Sirius only looked embarrassed, averting his eyes from her. "You used to hate me, after all. Why was it again?" She said, but with a playful voice.
"Well, you were friends with Snivellus, for starters." He said, smirking and ignoring her roll of eyes at the childish nickname. "But I think that the main reason was the fact that you treated my best friend, my brother, the person I love the most, like shit." Both of them chuckled, but Lily had the decency of looking a bit ashamed. "I wanted to hex you so bad every time you called him those things... But I had to content myself by doing it later, behind his back." He chuckled as she playfully slapped his shoulder giggling.
"Jerk. I still don't know how you managed to hide yourself so well." Lily added. Her gaze lowered and the smile she had been holding slipped from her face. "Sometimes I feel terrible for the way I treated him, you know? Principally when he apologizes for pestering me." She didn't see Sirius staring at her, but she could certainly feel it.
"He doesn't hold it against you, Lily. None of us do. We all love you, and it doesn't do any good dwelling on what's gone already." Sirius said softly.
"I know, I-I..." She couldn't help but sniff a little, praying that the tears that still stung the back of her eyes didn't decide to show themselves. "It's just so hard!" She wheezed. "He apologizes, Sirius! He says he was sorry that he asked me out so many times, and he called me 'beautiful' and all that every single day, but then he says he meant it every single time, and that he's happy he grew up and that he's lucky to have me..." Somewhere mid-rant, those brave but reckless tears started to fall. "And I can't help thinking that HE doesn't have anything to apologize or be thankful for, because in the end, he never did anything to hurt me, while that's everything I did to him back then." Lily used a napkin to dry her face. It took her a couple of minutes, but she finally continued. "And, now, I understand that he wasn't the one who grew up. In the end, I was the one who grew up, who deflated my big head and realized how childish I was."
For a while, Lily didn't have courage to look at Sirius, but eventually she looked at him. Her heart soared with relief when she saw him smiling. Not the cheeky grin or smirk so characteristically Sirius Black, but a full, grateful smile, one that very few people had ever seen. Upon seeing her look at him, he decided it was time to say something.
"I'm glad you think all that, Lily." He said. "But it's like I said, don't think about the past too much. The important is that you two finally got together, and for good. It's been what, more than ten years, and you two have never broken up once. I do agree with you that, between the two of you, you were the one who changed the most, who grew up the most, but James made his mistakes too, being arrogant, pestering you all the time despite your embarrassment, and hexing your best friend when you still didn't know that he deserved it." Sirius said, his normal smirk back. Lily normally would tell him off for bad-mouthing Snape, but she decided to ignore it this time. "What I want to say is, we all made mistakes, but we were teenagers. I guess it's a teenager's job to screw things up every once in a while." They both chuckled.
They stayed there, in amicable silence, until the comfortable and surprisingly happy atmosphere sobered up again when James entered the room.
"Lils, love, I got the plants, they are in the potions lab." He said, sitting down across from his wife and reaching for a plate. Sirius, who had been looking at his best friend, turned his look towards Lily, his silent stare lingering just a moment more than necessary until he broke it by standing up.
"I'll get Harry to shower, okay?" Sirius said as he gently clapped James' shoulder. James only nodded, his mouth full of the eggs and sausage he had grabbed for himself.
As Sirius left the room, James focused on his wife. Lily could see him frowning and quickly swallowing, setting his fork on the plate.
"What's wrong, love?" He said, concern clear in his voice and eyes. Lily felt another rush of deep, intense love for that man with hazel eyes, messy hair and happy smile with bright teeth. She loved every little thing about him, from his toned muscles to his amazingly (for someone who threw that stupid ball so much during Quidditch) soft hands. From his common, pale, caucasian skin that was only a bit tanned because of the hours under the sun (Quidditch again) to his laugh that made every person around want to laugh as well.
Lily only realized she had been silently staring at him when he spoke again. "Lily, I'm getting worried, why have you been crying? Are you feeling something?" She gave him a smile, but inside, she felt as if her stomach had become the size of a golf ball, and her hands and feet felt like they were freezing.
"I am okay, James. I just... love you, that's all." James seemed to breathe again, relief clear on his face. He gave her a big smile, one that normally sent a shiver of desire and love through her whole body, but that today only made her fear grow. She couldn't lose him, if he didn't forgive her, she... she couldn't even imagine it.
"I love you too, you know that. I love you more than anything, Mrs. Potter. I always have, since I managed to understand what love is, and I will love you forever, until the very end."
She didn't know what had done it. She didn't know if it had been being called 'Mrs. Potter', if it was the fact that he had always loved her, and that he would love her until the very end. Personally, she liked 'until the very end' much more than 'always', for example. 'Always' seemed too focused on the past, focused on things that had already happened and finished. 'Until the very end' meant something more, it meant now and on, it meant that, no matter what, he would love her forever, for he believed that his love for her was true and eternal. She didn't know if it had been the realization that he would love her forever and she would love him back just as much, but she was suddenly crying. Not in a measured way like when Sirius had been there, but a deep, sincere cry, full of happiness for her realization, but sorrow for what she had to tell him.
She suddenly felt arms enveloping her. She didn't even see him standing up and walking towards her, but she now could just feel his presence as his amazing scent covered her entirely. She could hear him whispering something on her belly as he was kneeling next to her chair, his arms wrapped around her middle.
"...I knew something wasn't right, I should have helped you, if I have done something, I'm sorry-"
"James, don't!" She basically wailed, being able hear how liquid and desperate her voice sounded. She didn't care though, because she couldn't- she wouldn't let him apologize. She used both her arms to hug his head, repeatedly giving him kisses on the top of it. She then used her hands to lift his face so he would look at her. She didn't care if her face was full of tears and maybe even snot, she had to look into his eyes.
"I need to tell you something." She whispered. He stood up and grabbed the nearest chair, still holding her hand. He sat down right next to her and kept staring at her, waiting for whatever it was that she had to tell him.
And so she did. She told him about her meeting with Dumbledore. She had, of course, told his about Poe's rites, but it was the first time she said Snape had been there. As she reached the point in which she was leaving Dumbledore's office and Snape was following her, she saw James' face changing. It wasn't a complete frown, but it was somewhere in the middle of it. She couldn't look at him anymore, so she focused on the top of the table, still not clear from breakfast.
"He said he missed me and that he was sorry. I asked him what he was sorry for, and he said it was for calling me what he called me. I told him he had more to be sorry for, and he started blaming you for making me hate him." She could feel James tensing next to her, but she still wasn't looking at him. "I said you'd never do that, and that I hated him for what he had done and what he had become. He then said that h-he l-loves me, and h-he k-kissed me." She had to force herself to stutter those words out. When she heard the sharp and hitched breath he took, she snapped her head towards him.
What she saw broke her heart into tiny pieces. He looked so sad, sorrowful, defeated she could barely stand looking at him for long. He was looking at his hands, no longer holding her own. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she thought she would be able to handle it, but now she wasn't so sure anymore. She couldn't stand seeing him looking so sad. He, who had always laughed and made her laugh with him. He, who had made her happier each day. She hated herself for doing that to him, and she felt that if she didn't make things better again she would die. As she opened her mouth, though, he spoke.
"I see..." his voice was but a whisper, and now it was his time to look at the table, his intend of not looking at her clear. "And then...?"
"Then I slapped him. Hard. And then I punched him. On the face." His head snapped up as he looked at her, surprised. "And I told him that if he tries to forcefully kiss me again, he will basically have to buy himself new intimate parts."
James' expression was still surprised, but Lily managed to see a glint of happiness behind it, which made her heart soar. He put his hand on her face before saying something.
"I should have been there, I'm sorry, I-"
Lily's temper and grief flared as she grabbed his hand and lowered it, not letting it go. James startled a bit, his face betraying his shock at her attitude. "Why are you apologizing, James?" she said, lifting his hand to place small kisses on it, smelling the soap he had used to wash his hands with. "I should be the one apologizing, but there you are, apologizing again when I am the one at fault." His face changed from an expression of shock to one of anger.
"Lily! You have nothing to be sorry for! It is that bastard's fault for abusing you!"
Lily's heart swell with relief and happiness. He didn't blame her! "Do you think so?"
"I KNOW so." He snorted, grinning at her. "I can't believe you'd think I'd blame you. It wasn't you who kissed him, and you even defended yourself! How could you be at fault? You're brighter than this, Mrs. Potter!" They both chuckled, but he stopped before her. "I thought... I thought you were... considering, you know-" Lily didn't let him finish as she reached forward to give her husband a hug.
"I would never even consider thinking about another man, James. I love you, and I thank God and Merlin every single day for having you, Mr. Potter. I'm lucky to have you, and I know that." she whispered. He ended their hug to kiss her passionately on her mouth, only separating after a few good minutes of a good snog.
"And I am lucky to have you, Lily." he said, resting his forehead on hers, both of them staring deep inside each other's eyes. "Now, did you wash your mouth that day? It must have taken a while to get all that grease..." They both laughed, but Lily knew he was forcing it. So typically James, trying to show he was okay with something by making jokes about it, but bleeding inside at the same time.
"Don't worry, I scourgified my mouth about five times." This time he really laughed. A short laugh, but relief sapping from it.
Lily stood up. She thought her appearance must be terrible, and she was still teaching Harry, so she thought she should take a shower. James also stood up and Lily took the change to hug him again, resting her head on his shoulder and breathing in that scent of James she loved so much. "Thank you for being so understanding." She said, her voice muffled by his shirt. As they separated, he gave her that smile that made her knees go weak, and that's when she had an idea. "And, as a thank you, you'll get a surprise tonight. Please, be ready."
She laughed at his surprised but ecstatic face as she made her way out of the kitchen. She stopped just as she was about to leave it and turned around. "And, whichever way you Marauders find to get back at that greasy git, please, bring me at least a picture of it."
His laugh followed her the whole way to their bathroom.
A.N.: A bit of a sappy chapter, I know. I hope you enjoyed it. Don't worry, guys, I haven't given up on this. Please, if you can, leave a comment. What else do you want to see in this story? Next chapter will focus on Remus and the OC, and we will get to hear about Bellatrix and Narcissa, and, who knows, maybe even little Draco. =)