Virgin Whore Rory Gilmore

April 2017

Stars Hollow

April 15, 2017. Saturday, Tax Day. Rory, who was well into her third trimester, was staring out the window watching the people in the square as they prepared for the tomorrow's Easter festivities. The annual Easter egg hunt and all that accompanied it always invoked wonderful feelings in Rory. She recalled the many years she and her mom spent running around the square looking for eggs and overdosing on Easter candy. Moments such as these made Rory excited for the memories and rituals she would create with her own child.

The winter thaw brought the shedding of heavy sweaters, coats, and scarves, making Rory's pregnancy more apparent. While it was not a state secret, it was not something that was formally announced either. In Rory's mind those who needed to be in the know, knew, while others would find out in their own time.

Babette and Morey found out this past February when Rory was at their house helping them set up for their annual Valentines Day celebration. Babette noticed that Rory was avoiding the "Love Punch" (Founders' Day punch served in solo cups decorated with heart stickers) and other alcoholic drinks. "Why aren't you drinking sugar? Are you pregnant?" Babette joked after Rory turned down a glass of punch for the third time. "Well, yes I am. Going on week # 18."

"Huh?"

"I'm pregnant Babette."

"What?! With a baby? A real baby?!"

"Yes Babette, a real baby."

"Mooorreeeey!

Rory, worried that her news would be the talk of the party, was pleasantly surprised that despite the small crowd of close friends and neighbors, the subject of pregnancy did not come up once. However, that did not mean that the topic died down. Thanks to Rory's work schedule, she did not have much contact with Babette, Ms. Patty, or anyone else in Stars Hollow outside of Lorelai, Luke, or Lane and Zach, so the brunt of the questions fell to Lorelai. "OMG, Babette is going nuts over this situation of yours. I swear every day there is a new concern or piece of advice she wants me to relay to you." Lorelai complained on the phone.

"What is it today?" Rory asked, half-laughing.

'She wants to know if your insurance covers home births. Just in case you have a phobia of hospitals."

"You can assure her that I am having this baby the old-fashioned way, in a hospital connected to monitors with tons and tons of drugs, and yes, my crappy insurance covers at least 1⁄4 of it."

"That's my girl..."

"So what does she know anyway?"

"Well, she knows that you are pregnant. She knows that Logan is an involved and enthusiastic co-parent and that you are excited about this event."

"So does this mean the whole town knows?"

"Oh yes, the whole town knows."

While she knew that the people of the town were aware of her news, she was caught off guard by having to deal with how people felt about it. Kirk would not let Rory carry anything heavier than her purse, and Andrew kept handing Rory baby books everytime she walked into the bookstore. Miss Patty kept trying to drag her into belly dancing class (your abdomen will thank me, she reasoned) while Taylor would launch into the soliloquies about family and the importance of marriage to the fabric of a strong society whenever she was in earshot. However, the most disturbing was a conversation that she overheard while shopping for snacks at Doose's market.

"It's true, she IS pregnant!" Rory overheard someone say.

"She's not married, right?" Her shopping partner replied.

"No, she's not. I heard the father is some rich guy who lives in New York named Logan Huntzberger. Apparently, he's some publishing heir."

"How do you know this?"

"When I learned his name I googled him. Honestly, I can't blame her for getting together with him. Not only is is rich, but he's also pretty hot."

With a snicker, Rory heard the reply, "Well I hope he's not married."

The other person responded in kind "No, but he was engaged. At least that's what I read in The New York Times."

"Did she break up that couple too?"

"Who knows?

"I thought she was supposed to be some great success? Remember the big deal people made when she went to that fancy high school, and when she got into Yale? Or when she left to work in the Obama campaign?"

"What single, pregnant and living above a newspaper office is not 'successful' ?"

"How the mighty have fallen huh?"

Rory immediately exited the store and made a beeline to Lane's house. "So what have people been saying?" Rory asked Lane as sat down in Lane's living room.

"Saying about what?" Inquired the confused Lane.

"About me? About my pregnancy?"

"Huh?"

"I was in Doose's and I heard overheard two people talking about me. I heard 'Is she married?', 'I heard the father is some hot rich guy who lives in New York.' And 'is he married? No, he was engaged' and 'How the mighty have fallen.' The mighty have fallen? What the hell is that?!"

"Ok, ok. Yes, you have been the subject of some talk around town, but if it makes you feel any better, you have not been gossiped about no more or no less than anyone else."

"Wow, well that's comforting."

"Well, this is a small town."

"I just don't understand, why does anyone care anyway?"

"Rory, come on, you are not that naive. You are not going down the traditional path in life, of course people are going to talk! Haters are everywhere. You are a journalist, you should know that."

"You know, it's one thing about my work, but this is about my personal life. And what is this 'mighty have fallen' crap?"

"Well, you know, you were the brainy book nerd in high school. You never got in trouble, you never followed the crowd. You also went to Chilton, graduated from Yale, and went off to be a journalist. You were...are held in pretty high esteem, so naturally, there are people who will take pleasure in seeing you in any sort of crisis. They talked when that situation exploded with Lindsey and Dean."

"They did?"

"Oh, yea."

"I didn't know that."

"Well, you weren't around to hear it. Anyway, it wasn't everyone, just a small band of people who have nothing better to do than celebrating other people's misery because they have no lives of their own."

"I still don't like it."

"Oh I know, I remember how it was."

"You? And what did you do to garner such hatred, my friend?"

"Well, I had the audacity to get pregnant during my honeymoon. You should have heard the talk when people got wind I was pregnant so soon after the wedding. It was all 'Yes she got pregnant on her honeymoon, riiiight.' We had the shortest engagement in history, so, of course, that added fuel to the fire. 'There goes the religious girl, married to save her honor.' Oh, it was awful."

"How did you deal?"

"Well, I had the truth on my side and the people who really counted in my life didn't care. Plus, once Momma got wind of it, she ripped them a new one and after that, the talking stopped. Who needs Clemenza when you have Mrs. Kim, you know? After a while, I was old news. I learned from that experience that you can't sweat the opinions of idiots."

"You know, I think what upsets me the most is that this is about my pregnancy, and therefore implicates my kid. I don't like the feeling of anyone having any sort of negative feeling towards my baby. Really, that's what gets me. The thought of them even thinking anything negative about my kid makes me want to go after them with a barbed wire wrapped bat."

"Well, welcome to the pride Lion mom. Look, don't let them get to you. You have nothing to feel bad about."

"That's not entirely true."

"Elaborate?"

"Lane, I was seeing someone else. Logan was engaged and on the brink of getting married. I was awful to Paul but we were not engaged. But, Odette? The fact that she was also with someone else got us off easy. Imagine if she were fully committed? That's an awful thing to do to another woman. I mean talk about violating the 'Sister Code'!"

Rory got up to walk around.

"And then there is the question of why I started seeing Logan again in the first place. It was so easy Lane, it was so easy to slip back into life with Logan. I tried to keep it casual, but who was I kidding? There is no such thing as casual when it comes to Logan."

"So what, are you saying that you want him back?"

"No, I am not saying that at all. We're parenting together that I can do. But as far as us getting back together, I don't know. He took care of me you know, having him in my life allowed me to hide. Being with him was sort of like a drug? My escape from...me. When we reconnected I was feeling like such a failure. I had so much invested in the idea of me being a journalist. I had such a clear idea about where I thought I would be by the time I was thirty-two. Nothing, none of it turned out as planned. And now look at me, all these opportunities, all these people who made sacrifices for me and look what happened? I am single, pregnant, no permanent job. I am a great disappointment."

"Hey, stop, right now! You made choices, no they were not the best, but you were in emotional turmoil. Yes, that's no excuse, but it is also a viable reason. Does that make you a monster? No! Does that make you human? Yes! Do not berate yourself about this Rory, do not play into the hands of the virgin/whore dichotomy. You are a fully actualized human being capable of both good and bad. Years from now you will look back on this time and it will merely be a blip on your radar. For now, embrace it, hell, own it, and screw everyone else!"

Rory looked at her friend with great admiration."How did you become so wise?"

"It's all that time hiding in my closet with my lava lamp and disco ball contemplating Madonna."

Rory hugged her friend, "Oh Lane, what would I do without you..."

Later that night Rory couldn't sleep, so she got up and googled Logan and Odette. She waded through a bunch of articles in French until she found the engagement announcement in The New York Times. Although she had seen pictures of Odette when she found them tucked away on one of Logan's desk drawers (he was always conscious of putting away pictures when Rory visited) she had never really considered her as a whole. She looked like a young Penelope Cruz. The picture in The Time announcement was a more formal picture than the ones Logan had, no doubt taken during one of her charity events. She and Logan were both dressed to the nines, looking like the perfect high society couple. It was strange, Rory thought to herself, that the relationship chronicled in this announcement would implode within a year and that the bride-to-be would soon be set to marry someone else, while the groom-to-be would be having a baby with another. She considered herself, always the planner, always cautious, always sensible, and how all of that went to hell the past five years. Despite all the planning and working, life can change so quickly. It reminded her of a magnet Mrs. Kim had on her refrigerator that stated, "We plan, God laughs." Well if there is a God, Rory thought, s/he must be having a hilarious time with me.

As she stared at the picture of Logan and Odette, and thought about her life, especially the last two years, and all the twist and turn that brought her to this moment. Rory found herself asking aloud, "Would I trade where I am now for another outcome?"

Rory then smiled when she heard herself answer, "No".