Hey, I'm back! I had a great time doing relief work. We distributed supplies to a school that was destroyed in the quake and also handed out utensils and food to a earthquake victim refugee camp. But anyways, here we go- next chapter! I hope you enjoy~ :)
Chapter 16
The eve had passed, and now, in the early morning, Eruanna was sitting on the bed in their talan and swinging her feet off of the edges as she waited for Glorfindel to get dressed so that she could take her turn.
Glorfindel finally emerged from the washroom wearing a simple, deep blue robe that lightened to violet at the hems and sleeves with a pale red underside. As always, it was hemmed with golden bars at the edges of the sleeves, bottom, collar, and centre opening. It was buttoned shut with Celtic knots of silver thread. His hair was loose and unbound, whipping about wildly in the breeze that came through the window. It was chilly outside of Lothlòrien, for it was the eighteenth of January.
Eruanna took one look, promptly chose her outfit, and went to get changed. When she finally was ready, Glorfindel found her in a deep purple tunic that came down to her knees and was slit to the waist, showing light violet leggings underneath. A golden belt of silk wrapped around her waist and silver knot work decorated the hems. Glorfindel studied her as she stood for inspection.
"There seems to be something missing." He shook his head, and she looked up, puzzled. Then he smiled. "I know."
He turned and began to rummage around in one of the drawers in the desk. Finally, he pulled out what he was looking for with an exclamation of triumph. "Ah! Here we are." He smiled, pleased, and then turned to where she sat on the bed.
He knelt, and began to sew onto the hem of her shirt with light blue and green ribbons. And so he made flowers on her tunic of ribbon embroidery. Eruanna's eyes lit up.
"There. How's that?" He asked putting away the materials once he was finished. She smiled and nodded happily.
*Hannon lle Muindor!* She exclaimed, reaching up and bouncing up and down on the bed. He chuckled and scooped her up, kissing her cheek.
"You're welcome, seler. Besides, now it shows that you're mine." He added smugly. "No one else has mastered ribbon embroidery like I have." He winked at her, and she blinked. And than began to laugh at his wink.
"Will you please do this for me, seler?" He said after a moment, sitting on the rug and handing her a band while he shuffled through papers. She took the band and began to tie up his hair, reaching over into the bowl of gems.
She pulled the top half of his hair back and tied it firmly, and then used some smaller strands of hair and beaded them with sapphires, looping them around the plain band and tucking them in so that they wouldn't fall out and get lost. Glorfindel absently patted her head thankfully as she plopped down next to him on the rug.
"Thank you, seler." He said distractedly, still shuffling through the papers, not even bothering to get up or move. Eruanna took that as an invitation and crawled into the hollow between his legs where he had them crossed on the floor, snuggling in and playing with the locks of hair that tumbled over his shoulders.
He chuckled and tapped her nose, then finished his paperwork and set them aside. Then he tied her hair up into a loose ponytail that draped the back of her neck and was cinched with a ribbon decorated with sapphires as well. The blue gems and purple ribbon stood out in stark but pleasant contrast against her silvery, gold-streaked hair.
"Well. Let's go, shall we?" He asked with a wink, picking her up and bounding out the door and away to the main talan where Galadriel and Celeborn was. She squealed as he swung up the stairs, arriving at the top in moments and not a hair out of place. Celébrian welcomed them and invited them to break fast, which they gratefully accepted.
"I believe that it would be in order to go greet the fellowship a bit more properly." Celébrian was saying just as Celeborn and Galadriel came in as well.
"Good morning." Glorfindel greeted them as Eruanna waved through a mouthful of sticky bun. Galadriel smiled as Celeborn chuckled and greeted them in reply.
"Yes, I agree, my lady." Glorfindel replied to Celébrian, who nodded, satisfied. "Preferably away from the east clearing." Glorfindel finished with a grin. Celébrian threw her handkerchief into his face, but he just continued to laugh, undeterred. Celeborn was chuckling as Galadriel smiled smugly and Eruanna just looked confused.
"That was where- Elrond nearly ruined- his courtship- with Celébrian." Glorfindel choked out in explanation. Celébrian huffed as Celeborn began to laugh as well.
"That was truly a sight, to see Elrond with an upturned cup of wine on his head." Galadriel agreed innocently as her daughter glared at her, fighting a smile. Eruanna burst into giggles at the thought.
After the morning meal was over, Glorfindel, with Eruanna, escorted the lady Celébrian to the glade where the fellowship was staying. The members of the Fellowship were all resting and lying on couches, some reading, others polishing weapons, or even talking quietly. They all looked much more refreshed and better, to Eruanna's pleasure and relief.
Legolas and Estel looked up first, hearing them approach, and stood, catching the attention of the others who also stood to bow.
"Please, sit! Rest! We are all family here." Lady Celébrian motioned them all to sit, which they did. Glorfindel spread out a rug on the ground and lady Celébrian sat down primly, settling her skirts around her ankles properly. Estel came and sat on the rug just as Glorfindel and Eruanna settled down as well.
"Mae Govannen, Nana." Estel smiled softly at Celébrian, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his forehead.
"Mae Govannen, Estel, penneth." She replied fondly. Eruanna crawled into the man's lap, reaching up for his hair happily. Estel smiled and bent down, kissing the bright head softly and gathering her up as she smiled into his light green eyes.
Glorfindel was attempting to draw Boromir into conversation. The hobbits were watching and talking together. Gimli was smoking on his pipe and looking a bit uncomfortable. Legolas reached out.
"Ai, Gwador Estel, don't I get a turn with our little elfling? Do share!" He said easily with a cheeky smile, making Estel chuckle as he handed Eruanna over as though she were a pillow. She squealed and reached out for Legolas' hair.
"Eruanna! You know how much I- never mind." Legolas sighed as Eruanna stuck a lock of his yellow hair in her mouth. Gimli choked on his pipe smoke attempting not to laugh.
"Too little too late, laddie!" He chuckled, and Eruanna grinned sweetly. Legolas rolled his eyes at the hobbits snickered. Frodo smiled faintly as Sam stifled his smile.
"I can never stay mad at you for long, onònë." Legolas sighed, and then handed her to Boromir, who looked up, startled. Legolas merely smiled and then turned to Estel and lady Celébrian. Boromir looked down at Eruanna, who smiled up at him and reached up, tangling her fingers in his strawberry blonde hair.
His eyes softened ever so slightly as she began to chew on it. "Ah. Now I see what Legolas means." He chuckled. Eruanna merely ignored it, still chewing happily.
She reached out and touched his mind again. *What Faramir like?* She queried interestedly. He looked down at her, reaching hesitantly to touch her hair that was like silken strings of Mithril shot with veins of gold.
"Well... He is quiet and shy. At least, as a child. He has wonderful leadership skills when needs be. He is also very keen and discerning, wise in his own way. He has a fondness for elves and... Gandalf." He added in a quiet sigh. Then he stirred himself. "And he certainly would love to meet you, I know it. Often has he expressed the wish to meet and speak with the Eldar, as he says." Boromir added.
Eruanna mused thoughtfully. *I would like to meet him too.* She finally said slowly, carefully. Then she smiled and crawled off of his lap, going to Glorfindel who readily accepted her with a smile. She snuggled into him and looked around at the fellowship as Glorfindel stroked her hair fondly.
For a moment, she could see something of the past in the homely little scene. She could see Eärendil and herself as Merry and Pippin, she could see Idril and Tuor sitting with her parents, watching over their children and laughing. And she could see herself and Eärendil sitting in Ecthelion's lap as he made reed whistles for them and played his flute.
Then it faded away like a wisp of mist on the breeze, and she was left feeling a gnawing ache in her heart. Unconsciously, she pressed a hand to her heart, rubbing it as though to alleviate the pain there. Glorfindel noticed, and a wince briefly passed his features, but he said nothing, only continuing to smile.
But even as she smiled at a comment by Legolas, the smile was strained and her eyes burdened with pain.
LOTRLOTRLOTR
*Eruanna, child. Come.* Lady Galadriel's voice called to her softly and sweetly. It was the evening of the fourteenth of February, and she was sitting on the windowsill of their talan. Eärendil was nowhere to be seen in the sky, for he had gone home to meet his beloved Elwing. Glorfindel was sitting at his desk, writing.
She slid off of the sill. *Glorfy? Lady Galadriel call me.* She said softly, and turned to go out, reaching up for the doorknob.
"I will come too, seler." Glorfindel stood, but Eruanna shook her head.
*She only call for me.* She protested, and Glorfindel sighed heavily.
"Galadriel should know by now that she cannot call for one without the other." He said firmly, and then picking her up, went out the door and closed it behind them. Eruanna didn't complain, rather she nestled further into him and closed her eyes, thumb stuck in her mouth.
They arrived at the main talan to find Galadriel waiting for them at the base of the staircase. She smiled slightly when she saw them, and then nodded and glided away, silently compelling them to follow. As they progressed through the woods of Lòrien, Glorfindel's steps slowed as he began to recognize their path, but he did not stop, neither did he make any complaint.
They finally stopped and Eruanna opened her eyes, looking around as Glorfindel set her down. Galadriel beckoned to the elfling, and motioned to the ground in front of them. Eruanna blinked and nearly started.
The trees ringed around them, seeming to glow faintly grey in the twilight and silver glow of their bark. There was a stone formation on the ground in front of her feet where she stood.
There were smooth grey stones set in the ground as a cobbled path, with large moonstones marking the path as they glowed faintly in the moonlight. The path wound around through stone markers, twisting and turning. Eruanna blinked. A maze?
"This is a maze, based on one in Lòrien." Galadriel said quietly, her voice seemingly chilling in its depths in the clearing. Eruanna swallowed.
"It is said that whoever treads the maze might find a vision or foresight in the center." Glorfindel murmured, almost to himself. "I remember when I tread it in Lòrien the first time..." He trailed off into his own internal musings.
"Will you tread the maze?" Galadriel asked softly.
Eruanna took a deep breath, looking down at the first moonstone. She closed her eyes as she thought carefully. She searched inside herself, feeling for guidance.
*Do I do this?* She asked.
*Only one way to find out what's in the center, right?* Was the mysterious answer.
*... You know, I'm not sure if this is good or not, but the way you talk makes me almost want to rethink my actions wherever you're concerned.* Eruanna noted dryly. There was a snicker.
*Oh hurry up already, my curiosity is killing me.* It retorted eagerly. Eruanna rolled her eyes and then opened them, stepping onto the first moonstone.
"Keep treading the maze, seler, and don't turn back!" Glorfindel's voice sounded far away, and when she looked behind her, she saw nothing at all except for a wall-like mist. With a blink and then a shrug, she continued on. If Glorfindel wasn't worried, then she wouldn't be. She kept her eyes glued to the leading moonstones, continuing on the path, never looking up.
*Isn't it funny how this looks exactly like the clearing I met Beör at? Do you think I'll meet him again in the center?* Eruanna mused.
*Hmm. Maybe it is, you never know. Lothlòrien is quite a mysterious land. I always liked the story of Lord Amroth and his Lady Nimrodel. Do you think we might meet them in Aman?* Came the answer.
*Who knows? Maybe.* Eruanna agreed. And by then, she had reached a clearing where the moonstones trailed off into a spiraling pattern that made her feel calm and relaxed. She looked up to see nothing but a wall of mist hedging her in. Then a figure began to suddenly materialize, walking towards her.
She blinked as he came into view. He had fair skin, with blonde hair like the color of honey in the sunlight, and eyes bluer than the sapphires of lord Manwë who sits on Taniquentil and watches over the children of Eru. He caught sight of her and looked as startled as she was sure she did.
"Eruanna!" The figure cried. Eruanna blinked stupidly, seeing the slightly pointed ears that were still somewhat rounder than that of a normal elf's.
*Lord Eärendil?* Her baffled answer echoed through the mists as though she had spoken aloud. He looked startled as her mouth didn't move.
"Yes. Do you remember me- from Gondolin?" He asked hesitantly. Eruanna's eyes misted.
*Yes, my lord.* She dropped a curtesy. *I do.* Her small smile was painful.
Eärendil studied her with not a small amount of alarm. "What happened to you!? You are still as small as I remember you to be when we grew up together! And your mouth does not move." The poor man-elf looked absolutely floored.
Eruanna sighed. *Ah... Well, my lord, I was... captured as sport in the sack of our city, and as a result of the darkness became mute and ceased to grow. I suppose this maze amplifies my thoughts in ósanwe.* She replied a bit uncomfortably.
The man's face softened to grief, and he walked forwards, bending down onto his knees and drawing her into his arms. Eruanna felt momentarily startled, and then hesitantly returned the hug, tears dropping onto the shoulders of Eärendil's white robe.
"It grieves me to hear that, Eruanna. And you must call me Eär'dil as you used to when we were but children." He added for a bit of levity, and she smiled shyly through her tears.
*Yes- lord Eär'dil.* She agreed slyly, and he threw back his head and laughed.
"That sounds like something your brother would do." He chuckled, bending down to kiss her brow. He brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes with a warm smile.
"I have lately felt as though I needed to do this, and now I think I know why." He added, and then pulled out a small crystal vial from his pocket, placing it in her palm. "This vial contains the light of the Silmaril that I bear on Vingilot. May it bring hope, and be a light in dark places when all other lights go out." He said softly, and she took it carefully.
*I think... I think I will give it to lady Galadriel. She will know what to do with it.* She said hesitantly, and he nodded.
"I'm sure. There, now maybe the Valar will stop 'inspiring' me and leave me to Vingilot and my wife." He said dryly, and Eruanna giggled.
"I hope to see you sometime soon, my dear friend. I have seen you, and I am happy that you have found happiness with your brother. Give him and my son and grandchildren our love, will you?" He asked, and then gave her a droll smile. "And tell him that he has made me proud so far- but remind him he's not finished yet." He added. She nodded.
*Yes. I will.* Then she gave him a thin smile. *Now maybe my conscience will stop teasing me about my lord being my lucky star.* She said. *Although, maybe that might be too much to ask for.* She added dryly, and he laughed at her.
"And I am more than happy to be your lucky star, 'Fin'ilmë." He chuckled, and then stood. "Well. I have a feeling our time is over here. I take my leave. Be safe, dear heart." He said gently. "I am proud to call you my friend and vassal." He added tenderly.
Tears welled in her eyes again. *Thank you, lord Eärendil. I will try to make you proud, even as I am proud to call you my lord.* And she gave him her obeisance. He smiled and turned, walking back out of the maze.
"Always that, 'Fin'ilmë." His voice wafted back to her. It was as though a spear had pierced her heart. Eruanna staggered back out of the maze, clutching the vial and tears running down her cheeks. She didn't even realize she was out of the maze until her legs gave out and she was scooped into someone's arms instead of hitting the ground.
She lifted her tear-filled eyes to see Glorfindel's face looking down at her in concern. She clutched him with a sob. *Lord Eär'dil- hic- g-gives his love.* She managed to get out, hiccuping and swallowing. Glorfindel's eyes widened.
"You- you saw him?" He asked, clutching her tighter. She nodded blindly. Glorfindel stood there, breathing hard. "Did- he- say anything more?" He asked hoarsely.
*He said that he's proud of you but don't forget you're not finished yet.* She managed to stem the tears. Glorfindel let out a brittle laugh.
"As though I could forget." He muttered. Eruanna squirmed down and went to the lady Galadriel, handing her the vial.
*The light of the Silmaril of Vingilot. May it be a light in dark places when all other lights go out.* She passed down the message along with the gift. Galadriel took it reverently with a nod.
"Thank you, Eruanna." She said gravely. Then she smiled softly. "I am making parting gifts for the fellowship. Will you help me, Eruanna?" She asked. Eruanna's eyes lit up as bright as a Feänoriàn lamp as she nodded excitedly. Galadriel smiled.
"Good. Come and see me tomorrow, my dear. Quel kamin." And she swept away gracefully, leaving the two behind. Glorfindel sighed.
"I will tell you what, seler: I'm looking forwards to going back to Aman and resuming life there. I wouldn't trade my time here for anything, but I miss my Gwedyr there, and seeing the Valar." He murmured. "And this time, I get to forge a life with you." He added with a bit more cheer.
Eruanna made no comment but merely smiled as he picked her up and headed back to their talan. She didn't want to shatter his dream by admitting that she had the feeling that she wouldn't go to Aman in the way they expected.
In her confusion, she didn't even remember to wonder why Eärendil had called her Fin'ilmë.
LOTRLOTRLOTR
Eruanna was dreaming. She couldn't tell where she was, only that she was somewhere.
"How could you allow this to happen!? This is unlike you all! How can you say that you care when you allow things like this to happen?" A familiar voice was fuming at someone else.
"Eärendil. Nothing We do is without reason. You hardly complained when your sons were taken from you." A voice said softly, not disclosing any emotion. In fact, the voice was strangely flat, as though all tone had been removed from it.
"That was different! My sons know who I am- they have never forgotten. They did not suffer like she has been forced to. And how could you do this to Glorfindel? You know how much he wanted a sibling, this is just cruel!" Eärendil- so she supposed- ranted.
There was a sigh from everywhere and nowhere. "It may be different." The voice granted. "But that does not mean there was no purpose. It was not Our will, Eärendil- it was Atar's. Her presence had been hidden from Us until it was time we know, time for Us to take action. We grieved at her plight, just as much as you do. As for Glorfindel- how could we when we did not know?" The voice reasoned patiently.
"And I have a feeling, Eärendil. This is not just about her, is it. You also feel guilt." The voice added gently. There was a silence, and Eruanna wondered what was happening. She couldn't see anything. And who were they talking about? Her?
"Yes. As always, you see everything." Eärendil sounded defeated. "I have done my part in bringing my plea for the Eldar and Edain to you. And now I am bringing hope, so you say, to the Eldar still in Aman. But I am tired of it all. Were it not for my beloved, I would have chosen to be accounted with men. And now I am the leader of the Gondolinrim, since my father is gone and my grandfather is not yet reborn. I suppose I have been feeling rather incapable recently." He admitted wearily.
"But you have done well, my son, and you are still doing well. We are proud of you, as is Atar. Why would you feel incapable? You have done much for the Gondolinrim, and they respect you as their rightful lord." The voice was soothing in its attempt to comfort.
"And that's the very reason, my lord. She is under my protection, and even if she is not here at this moment, she is still my vassal. I feel guilty, as her lord, for allowing this to happen- even if I know that I couldn't have done anything. She was my friend, my playmate, and now my vassal. I care for her welfare, and for that of her brother. They are both dear to me, as is Ecthelion, then and now, and always." Eärendil sighed.
Eruanna felt her heart almost rip in half at the wistful, bitter note in his voice. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault. That she respected him as her lord and liege, and that he could not have done anything, that it was better that he hadn't known. But she could not, and therefore was led to do nothing but weep and feel the rushing of wind in her ears.
She continued to weep, hearing nothing else. It was was just a dream, was it not? Why wasn't she waking up? She wanted to wake up. She wanted Glorfindel! Where was her golden brother? Panic welled in her heart ruthlessly, and her breath hitched.
"Eruanna! Penneth!" There was faint laughter. "Ah! There you are. Come! Let's have some fun, little cousin!" The laughter faded away.
"Stay safe, Eruanna, penneth. You know I love you very much, and I wouldn't want you to be harmed or injured." The voice was gentle and familiar in its shy, quiet warmth.
"I am waiting for my new worry string, Eruanna. Even though I wish I had you... I must be content with a replacement instead. It is getting worn out, now, and insufficient for my needs. Do not imply that I am a worry-rat! I do hate when Glorfindel calls me that." The new voice was petulant in its protest, and quickly faded away into murmurs that reminded her of a schoolroom, like the one she used to attend when she was still in Gondolin.
"Don't forget, Eruanna, to play your flute when you feel tense or worried. It will help you." A musical voice reminded her shyly.
"I will see you again, Nàmiel. Keep it with you, at all times. Your future depends on it, as does the safety of those that you love." A deep, wise voice commanded, albeit gently.
"You have been the daughter I never had, and the apprentice I always wanted. Always have hope." Another, well-loved voice entered the plethora of comments.
"Always that, Fin'ilmë." Eärendil's voice echoed tenderly, as from parent to child.
And then the voices began to merge altogether, mingling and growing louder and clearer until they were clamoring in her mind like myriads of bells ringing loudly, tolling their warnings of something to come, all vying for her attention. The laughter grew louder and more and more malicious, and the voices began to slowly morph into arguing until there was the only the terrifying laughter left.
"Do not think you can escape me! I will always be in your mind... Foolish child." And the laughter went on maniacally.
"Eruanna! Wake up, seler!" Glorfindel shouted, causing his little sister to fly up and into his arms, shaking like a leaf in a storm and sobbing in fright. She clung to him desperately.
*Muindor!* She wailed, causing him to gather her up into his arms, tenderly cradling her as her wracking sobs ceased and her violent shaking turned to mere trembles.
"What's wrong, penneth?" He asked gently, but she shook her head and clamped her mouth shut. He sighed and shifted, suddenly noticing that she flinched.
With a frown, Glorfindel pulled up the sleeve of her nightshift to see the burn mark on her arm- and grimaced. It was more than just blood red now, it was festering, seething lava that bubbled down the sides of a mountain like froth from a mug of ale. Black crust seemed to form on the edges, and tears stood out in his sister's eyes from the pain.
He sighed, feeling anger well up inside him again. "Valar and Eru curse that thrice-damned, bloody Maia thrall of Morgoth." He snarled under his breath, but he knew that Eruanna had heard him.
"I can't even protect you from harm here in Lothlòrien, the safest place right now on the shores of Endòrë. The ring has come even this far- and you must suffer." Glorfindel looked down, a frown on his face as his tousled hair covered the top half of his face, leaving it in shadow.
Eruanna's rasping breath continued as she was deprived of the energy to breathe, each breath laborious and painful to her battered frame. A wracking cough shook her small body and was accompanied by a gasp for air.
*I will be okay, Glorfy. You are here to help me. I promised, remember?* Her whispering, exhausted voice echoed weakly in his mind.
"I know." And Glorfindel clutched her to himself. "But you are becoming sick..." Worry welled up in his heart, making him tremble slightly. Should she become ill, he did not know what he would do. Elves rarely, if ever, became sick. It was something that was to be feared.
*I will be okay...* But the weakness of her voice belied her reassurances. *I promise.* She whispered. And he knew that if she promised, she would keep it for as long as was required.
But he still felt guilty. Perhaps if he were not so selfish, he would let her go across the sea. Force her to, if needs be. But he was too selfish. He overlooked her needs in favor of his own. The need to keep her by his side. The need for someone to need him again.
Turgon and the people of his house had needed him. Eärendil and Idril had needed him. Findárato, for a time, had needed him. Lord Manwë had needed him. But now, was there any purpose for him? After Elrond and his heirs crossed the sea, they would not need him anymore. Findárato had long since stopped needing him by his side. Lord Manwë perhaps might need his services. Lord Eärendil certainly didn't need him, even if he did ask for his services, which he would gladly give.
And if he sent Eruanna away to heal, perhaps she would not need him anymore after that. But HE needed to be needed. He wanted to be needed.
He needed Eruanna to be by his side, not only because he loved her more than anyone else, but also because he needed her to need him. He wanted to feel wanted and loved. Not that he doubted anyone's love for him, but the love of his sister was something he had never experienced before.
It was pure and true, and it was a close love he had never thought to felt. He almost understood how the twin sons of Elrond felt, now. He was not complete without her, and he adored her in every way. She was his light in the darkness.
And above all, he was selfish for her love. Freely would he share her as friends- but her sisterly love- it was his and his alone.
"Please, Valar. You know that I have always been most unselfish in nearly everything, even my life. My life has always been for others. But please, allow me to be selfish this one time. Just for her. Just one thing." Glorfindel whispered into the night, watching as Eruanna's chest rose and fell with rattling breath as she wheezed even in sleep.
"Just her love for me."
Wow... Is it just me, or is Glorfindel starting to freak you out with his possessiveness? 0_0