Chapter 2

The following morning, Robbie, Hathaway and Maddox sat nursing cups of instant coffee in Hathaway's office. Each of them bore the slightly crumpled frown induced by an excess of red wine.

"Thanks again for last night, Sir." Maddox began, tentatively.

"Oh, thank you for coming." Robbie smiled.

"Sorry if I drank a bit too much and… er… said a bit too much." Maddox wrinkled her nose, awkwardly.

"Not at all." Robbie laughed. "You were fine. It was Hathaway who did most of the stirring."

He looked purposefully at Hathaway, who was pretending to be engrossed in his emails.

"My apologies." Hathaway murmured, almost inaudibly.

Robbie frowned and tried to concentrate on the lengthy witness statement in front of him. The marriage jokes had all been rather funny until he had sobered up enough to appreciate fully the look of aversion on Laura's face.

The image flitted around in his head all day, conjuring up all manner of responses within him. By lunchtime, he knew that he'd have to broach the subject again with her, for the sake of his own sanity, if nothing else.

He heard the front door shut and the jangle of her keys into the ceramic bowl on the hall table.

"Hi!" She called, cheerfully, and hung up her coat.

"Hi love." He responded from the kitchen, where he was laboring over a simple pasta dish.

"Mmm." She slid up behind him, wrapping her arms around his stomach and placing a kiss between his shoulder blades. "You're home early."

"I know. Making the most of the downtime before the next body turns up." He turned to face her, enveloping her in a big hug.

"Hey, don't knock dead bodies. They pay our bills, after all." Her voice was muffled as she pressed her head into his jumper.

She withdrew from his embrace to look inquisitively at the saucepan on the stove, which she was surprised to note was emitting a rather agreeable smell. "And you're cooking?"

"Yup. I'm cooking." He gently swiped her hand away from a wooden spoon resting on the counter. "Seeing as you were unimpressed by my pizza-ordering prowess, I should try to make something proper for yer tea."

"My supper, you mean."

"Potatoes, pot-ah-toes." He shrugged

"Normal people, northerners…" she mimicked his shrug, mockingly.

"Oi, you." The north/south divide was an ancient, but enjoyable bone of contention between them.

She sauntered over to a half-empty bottle of wine left over from last night, but then appeared to think better of it, exhaling gingerly and instead pouring herself a glass of water.

"So it wasn't just Maddox with a sore head this morning?" Robbie laughed.

"Nope."

"Ah well, a stodgy pasta tea will have you fixed up in no time. You go and put your feet up, I've already set the table. I'll call you when this is ready."

Laura eyed him suspiciously, "Who are you and what have you done with Robbie?"

"You cheeky beggar." He laughed, waving the wooden spoon at her, threateningly.

Once again she sidled up to him, slipping her hands around him and into the back pockets of his jeans. "Thank you." She eased herself up on tiptoe in order to place a grateful kiss on his cheek before heading into the living room to collapse on the sofa.

Later, they had curled up in front of the television with a cup of tea to watch the news. Still feeling agitated, Robbie used the remote to mute the sound.

"Laura, you know last night?"

"Yeah."

"Can we talk about it?"

"I knew there was a reason you'd cooked dinner! After all those years of thinking you were an emotional enigma, it's only once I live with you that I discover I can read you like a book, Robbie."

He hesitated, noting her attempt to avoid the question. "It just got me thinking…"

Laura groaned. "Robbie…"

"No, just hear me out. It's been bothering me all day."

She turned to look up at him, her jovially disgruntled expression becoming somber.

"Has it?"

"Yeah. I just…" he took a deep breath. "I suppose I just wanted to ask whether you were being serious."

She twisted fully in his arms, bringing them both to eye level.

"Were you being serious?" She asked.

"About getting married?"

"Yeah."

"Well, obviously I wasn't meaning to propose… but I was a bit shocked that you seemed so unimpressed by the idea – even in principle."

Again, her lips sought to form the diplomatic response, but the words failed her. She cleared her throat. "Well…"

"I mean, I know we were joking last night, but I had just sort of assumed that we would get married, one day. When we moved into this place, I thought that we were heading that way…"

"Did you?" Laura's tone was guarded.

"Well, we talked about the commitment, both financially and emotionally, and…" come to think of it, they had never actually used the M word.

"Exactly. We love each other. We live together. And we both intend to stay that way for a very long time."

"Yes…"

"So why do we need to get married?"

"To make it, you know, official."

"As far as I am concerned, this is official. We own a house together, for goodness' sake."

"But…"

"What is marriage going to add? Apart from the expense of a wedding? And a piece of paper?"

"Oh come on, now you're being flippant. Just for the sake of it."

"I'm not."

"So you are saying you don't believe in marriage?"

"No. I'm just saying that I don't think we need to get married."

"It's not about needing to, Laura. It's about wanting to."

Laura hesitated, becoming visibly defensive. "OK. If you're going to push it, Robbie, maybe I don't want to."

Robbie was silent. Evidently hurt.

"So you don't ever want to be my wife?"

Laura sighed. "I'm saying I don't need to have that label to prove that I love you more than anyone else on the planet and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't need a legal document to evidence that what I already know to be true."

Robbie inhaled and blew the air slowly out from his cheeks, toying with whether or not to verbalise his thought process. "Is this…" he began, uncertainly. "Is this about your mum and dad?"

Laura sighed, heavily, and her body stiffened. "No. No, it isn't."

"Just because your parents had an unhappy marriage and a bitter divorce doesn't mean all marriages are going to be like that."

"Of course not." Her voice wobbled with indignation. Patronising git.

He looked at her and frowned. "I suppose we should have talked about this before."

"We have talked about this before."

"Only ever in the context of your parents – I knew that you had very little faith in your parents' marriage - but we've never talked about it in the context of you and me."

"I thought you understood how I felt."

"Evidently not."

"I'm sorry." Laura frowned. She was well aware that this was a subject she had often skirted around, but she had hoped Robbie had somehow got the message. She cursed herself.

"So you don't ever want to get married?" Robbie was finding this hard to compute.

"Robbie…"

She reached for his hand but, in the absence of an affirmative answer, he moved away from her along the sofa.

"I see." He wouldn't look at her.

"I thought you knew." She said, quietly.

They sat in silence for what seemed like an age.

"So you're not even willing to consider it?"

"Robbie…"

"Being with me hasn't changed anything for you?"

"Robbie, now you're being unfair. Of course being with you has changed everything for me… but it hasn't changed my beliefs. My principles…"

"Your principles!" He scoffed. "Oh yes, silly sod I am to think I could get in the way of your principles."

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" He almost spat. She'd rarely seen him this angry. Or confused.

She watched him knotting his fingers repeatedly, his jaw set firmly as he looked intently into the fireplace, rather than at her.

"I changed for you, you know." He spoke quietly.

A lump began to form in Laura's throat. "I know."

"I swore I'd never be with anyone again after Val. I swore it. But then you came along…"

"Robbie…"

"And I loved you so bloody much, I knew I had to let go of that promise."

He looked at her now, his eyes slightly reddened, his expression making her feel as though she was being cut in two.

"You're everything to me, Laura. And I would do absolutely anything for you. I thought that meant that, one day in the not too distant future, you would agree to be my wife. You'd have a ring on your finger telling the whole world that you're mine..."

"Why do you need me to wear a ring to prove it? You know that already." As much as she hated seeing him so upset, Laura wouldn't give in.

"Because…" Robbie sighed in exasperation. "You know me, Laura. I don't have some highbrow argument about the benefits of the institution of marriage. I can't write you a thesis about it like your Oxford pals could or wax lyrical in the Union about statistics, sociology and the family unit in society. If I'm honest, I never imagined I'd have to persuade you!" He laughed, scornfully, but then his expression opened up with emotion, "I just want to marry you one day. Plain and simple. Not because of my principles. Not because of my past experiences. I want to marry you because I love you. And I want us to be together. Properly together. Married. Husband and wife. Call me old fashioned, but that's what I want..."

He looked at her, his face troubled and plaintive, as he saw hers close off. He knew his words sounded hopeless and ineffectual, but the sentiment came from deep within him. From somewhere immoveable. This was important. This was what he really wanted from her. More than anything.

"Robbie – I don't want to fall out over this." Gingerly, she moved towards him

He didn't respond. He felt suddenly foolish. Suddenly unsure about everything.

"Robbie?"

Wordlessly, he stood to collect their empty mugs from the coffee table.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm tired." He wouldn't look at her. "I think I'll get an early night."