"You always were a persistent one."
Penelope looked up from the cup of water that Erin had offered her and gave the older woman a small smile. "I learned to be that way over the years. You only get what you want in life by being persistent. And you left me this morning without the opportunity to talk to you."
Erin cleared her throat as she stared at the carpet. From the look on her face, Penelope knew that she was trying to think of a way to explain her actions. "I was foolish last night, Penelope. When I came back to the Bureau, after my time in rehab, I was quite bluntly told that I had to walk the straight and narrow or face further disciplinary action. And my job is my life now."
"That has to be the saddest thing that I've ever heard, Erin. Why would you let your life come down to only that?"
The woman flinched and Penelope sucked in a shallow breath, wondering if she had wounded her. "Because even though I get to see my children every other weekend, Alan still got custody of them, and I'm paying child support, and if I were to lose my job on top of losing my babies? I would go mad. Oh, Penelope, never have children unless they are yours entirely. It hurts too much to say goodbye every week."
As she watched, Erin swiped her eyes with her knuckle, and she knew that the woman was crying. Unable to stop herself, she stood and went over to the chair Erin was sitting in, kneeling at her feet and resting her hands on Erin's knees. "Honey, look at me."
Slowly, Erin lifted her face, and Penelope saw the tears that she had missed tracking down her cheeks. "As much as I want to be with you, as much as things felt so right last night, there's just this piece of me that's holding back. You're so lucky to be as free as you are. You are blessed with freedom beyond your greatest imaginings, and I wish that I could be like you."
Erin leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss before cupping her face with her hands. "And you have no idea how much I loved being in your arms last night. When we were dancing, did you see the way other people were turning their heads to watch us?" Erin nodded. "They even felt the chemistry that we have. A reaction like that only comes around once or twice in a lifetime, if we're lucky."
"You almost make it sound like we were fated to be together."
"Are you trying to tell me that you believe in fate?" Erin gave a shy nod, and Penelope felt her heart leap up in her throat at the first positive sign she had received from the woman since coming to her home. "Well, that's good. Because fate and I tend to go hand in hand."
It was in that moment that Penelope lost her balance and went crashing to the floor, a small giggle escaping her lips. "That's the wrong carpet you're eating."
The slightly dirty words tumbling from Erin's throat caught her by surprise, and she gave her a confused look as she tried to get her balance back. "Excuse me? Who are you and what have you done with my Ice Queen Erin? Because those words sound a little too much like Rossi to me."
A bright blush stained Erin's cheeks as she shrugged. "Well, we were lovers for a while. It makes sense that some of him would bleed into me."
Penelope nodded as she watched Erin slip off her chair and sit on the floor. Reaching out her hand, Erin helped Penelope to sit up and then into a warm embrace. "I rather like this side of you, you know," she whispered in Erin's ear.
A shiver ran through Erin as she nodded, and Penelope knew that she was close to breaking down the last oppositions that Erin was holding against the possibility of a relationship with Penelope. "It is easy to let you see this side of me, Penelope. After all, you've seen all of me already. I just don't know if I can be the right person for you. I don't want to hurt you."
Penelope sighed as she turned her head and kissed Erin's cheek softly. "I think that I should be allowed to make that decision. Don't you?"
Erin's shoulders hunched up in a half-hearted shrug, and Penelope laughed a little as she reclined against the sofa, picking up Erin's hand and threading their fingers together. "I suppose, Penny."
"Good, I'm glad that you're finally listening to the voice of reason." Erin let out a sharp bark of laughter at that, and Penelope answered with a soft giggle. "Well, okay, maybe not pure reason. But pure emotion, yes. Why did you start drinking?"
The sudden question had Erin tightening her grip on Penelope's hand. "I drank to drown the ghost of that poor woman, Claire. Milwaukee showed me that I had no business being in the field when I couldn't handle seeing the pictures brought to life. And I told Claire's husband that I would bring her home safe. I failed, Penny, in the most horrid way possible."
"Oh, honey," she whispered as she looked at Erin. There were tears rolling down her cheeks and Penelope ghosted her lips against her skin, tasting the salt of her tears. "To think that you carried that burden with you all these years, and never felt able to tell us. I wish that we could have found this sweet communion before things got too horrid for you."
"I was still with Alan, then. And despite how we came to hate each other by the end of our marriage, I could never cheat on him." Penelope nodded and closed her eyes, trying to find the right words to answer her with. It was only when she had closed them, though, that Erin leaned in and kissed her softly before pushing her back against the sofa once more and straddling her body.
Daring to open her eyes, Penelope saw that the woman was giving her a tender, questioning, smile, and she nodded a little as she opened her mouth once more. "You wouldn't be you if you weren't loyal to a fault. That's a quality I could quickly come to love." A sharp gasp slipped from Erin's lips, and Penelope cut it off with a quick peck. "I feel deeply and quickly and earnestly. Silly things like gender and age don't really matter to me in the long run, because that's not my focus."
"Those are lovely words, Penelope."
"They're more than just words. Let me prove it to you. Please?"
There was a long pause before Erin cocked her head to one side. "Just how do you plan on doing that?"
"The only way that I know how to do things. By being persistent, by giving you things like bouquets and books and little things to make you smile. By being there when you need someone to just hold you as you cry out your hurts. So, what do you say? Will you hitch your wagon to this star of mine?"