Chapter 26
Hana settled into her new environment at work surrounded by those who were suddenly much more experienced in her field than she had thought. She was certainly the newbie around the office and she had much to learn.
Only this time around, everyone was on their toes about having the President's daughter around the office. Many were unsure whether or not they were allowed to approach the young woman, and others were just confused as to why she would be in the finance department. Hana had to make the effort to seem knowledgeable without overstepping her boundaries. She was not here to show off, she was here to work amongst everyone else.
People stopped questioning her abilities when they noticed her putting in the effort to learn. Hana took the time to learn everyone's names and their places within the department. She was part of the team to establish the investment board.
There was always going to be a sort of rift between her and the rest of the members, but Hana had come to accept that she was unfortunately, never going to shake off the reputation of being the President's daughter. She was never invited to after-work outings, and she had no interest in joining them either.
Hana liked the routine she settled into. Go to work. Get assigned a job. Work on the task. Don't disappoint your co-workers. Come home. Take care of her grandfather. It began turning into clockwork and soon enough, the seasons were beginning to change.
Takashi was getting busier now that school began picking up again, he balanced between lesson prepping and writing his thesis while taking shifts at the library. He saw her less and less than he had over the summer, but there were times when their walks home coincided after work.
"How are your students?" Hana asked.
He shrugged. The term had just begun. "Too early."
"Ah," Hana nodded in understanding. "Can I come visit you?" she asked, looking up at him.
He looked at her confusedly. She wouldn't have the time to visit him, especially when she had a job herself. Hana smiled and squeezed his hand in assurance.
"I heard from Morinozuka-san that you were teaching night classes. I can make it to those, I think."
"Thursdays," he told her. "7 to 9."
"Okay," Hana took note of that. "I'll try not to intrude. Is it a first year class?"
He nodded. He wasn't given the permission to teach more sophisticated classes anyway. He was only a TA who ran tutorials or seminars, with the occasional lecture when his supervisor needed someone to fill in.
"Morinozuka-san is holding his tea ceremony for the fall, no?" Hana remembered.
Takashi's grandfather always held tea ceremonies. It was a tradition that he attended nearly every year with his sibling and cousins, but it soon dwindled into just him and his grandfather's close friends. He figured that Hana's grandfather must have been invited, and naturally the invitation extended to her. Mori vaguely remembered Hana attending the tea ceremony when she was much younger, somewhere in the shadows on one of the few weekends they did not spar.
"Yes," Mori confirmed. "Will… I see you there?" He figured that she might have been bogged down with work, as usual.
Hana nodded and smiled. "It's been years since I had worn my kimono. I tried it on last week and it seems that I had outgrown the fabric. Ojii-san was annoyed that we had to go shopping for a new one but he seemed to enjoy himself, regardless."
Mori couldn't remember what she had looked like in her kimono from years ago. He was curious to see her tomorrow, and as per usual, he was always excited to see her. She kissed him on the cheek before leaving him at his own and bid him goodnight.
Do you love her?
He watched her leave, listening to her footsteps move farther away from him. Her ponytail swung from side to side, her handbag on her arm while her posture was perfect. It was likely from years of learning to walk down the catwalk properly that it just turned into a habit. But even from afar, he couldn't take his eyes off her.
You should tell her that. She should know.
Takashi wished that it was as easy as it seemed. To just tell her that he loved her. So much. He wasn't afraid of her feelings not being reciprocated, he knew that she held him of the same importance as he did to her. It just didn't seem like it was a necessary thing to do. They didn't have to validate their feelings verbally.
Or did they?
This was new territory to him. He wasn't sure how to navigate these new things. He believed that they had established a foundation of trust and understanding, both of which were silent. Hiro made him uneasy, as after all – a brother would know his sister best.
Hana had never tied an obi properly. The last time she had put on a kimono was more than a decade ago. She struggled to gather the fabric behind her back and to fold it into a neat bow. The fabric of her kimono was a silky navy blue that shone beneath the light with its intricate detailing that was only noticeable up close.
Darker colours for the colder months, Hana. Her grandfather had picked out the iromuji himself, and Hana's eyes widened at the price.
No, how about this one? It was of a similar colour, the fabric was not silk but it would do the same job. There was no need for anything too fancy. She liked the dark blue, it was very calming. It reminded her of the ocean. It reminded her of him. He wondered if he would like seeing that colour on her.
Nonsense. Don't pick something of inferior quality! You cannot embarrass me at the tea ceremony, Hana.
Ojii-san, that's too expensive, the granddaughter explained.
Who said you were paying?
I did, the granddaughter frowned. I make my own money.
No, Hana. Let me do this, just once. Go on, try it on, he ushered.
Hana found herself staring at the mirror, her kimono half on and her arms tired from trying to get the damn sash tied correctly. The lady at the store had done it in a matter of minutes while Hana had been standing in her room struggling for the past fifteen.
"Oi, what's taking so long? We're going to be late," her grandfather called.
"I can't tie my obi!" she answered, yelling across the house. She immediately heard footsteps and the door opening.
"You idiot, you told the lady at the store that you knew what you were doing," Sawada-san grumbled.
"It looked easy when she did it!" Hana pouted.
"You've been gone far too long and now you can't even tie your own obi," her grandfather scolded. His hands were already at work, helping his granddaughter put together the final touches of her kimono. "What are you going to do when I'm gone?"
She shrugged. "Walk out with… a poorly tied obi, I guess?" Hana quickly tied her hair up into a bun and made sure her makeup was on point. It was nothing too exciting. Just some eyeliner and a nude lip colour. It was to not draw too much attention to herself as the ceremony was the important event. It would be the second one that she attended in her lifetime.
"You'll have to learn to do it yourself, Hana," the grandfather mumbled after he was finished.
"I don't get many opportunities to wear a kimono, Ojii-san."
"Then go out more and wear your damn kimono," the grandfather rolled his eyes.
He took a good look at her granddaughter. She had grown to into an adult so quickly. Suddenly she didn't fit in her old kimono and now she was going off into the world, conquering whatever she did at work. He was too old to learn what she did. He could only relish in the moments that he could see her grow and develop into a fine young woman. He was proud that he had raised such a warrior. Sawada-san knew that his time on earth was coming to a close and still, she was one of his greatest accomplishments.
Being a parent was one of the most fulfilling jobs one could ever take upon.
Hana felt awkward in her shoes. She clunked her way to the ceremony, unable to keep her posture straight while she tried her best not to fall over with the sandals on her feet. It was an embarrassing sight, honestly. She tripped at the doorstep before the Morinozuka Tea House, right at the feet of Takashi who only smiled at her clumsiness.
Hana sighed and looked away.
"Good morning, Sawada-san," Takashi greeted. He gave a nod to Hana in acknowledgement. She shyly smiled back, still embarrassed at herself. There were a few other guests waiting outside before the ceremony was to begin and Hana's grandfather made his way to introduce his granddaughter to the crowd. Hana had always believed that he didn't have any other friends besides Takashi's grandfather, but she was wrong.
The ceremony began at noon. Hana followed the actions of everyone else, but was glad to have Mori beside her. They were ordered in seniority and Hana just so happened to be at the very end of the line as the youngest. The guests purified their hands and mouth by the tsukubai, a stone basin, before crawling through the door into the tea room.
The room was lined with tatami mats and tables that were carefully placed with utensils and tea cups for the ceremony. Hana sat down on the cushion with her knees tucked in and her feet behind her. She had hoped that her posture would not falter. It looked like it was going to be a long ceremony.
The host, Mori's grandfather, walked into the room when Hana settled down and greeted each guest. The chajii, a charcoal fire, was lit before the guests were served their meal in several courses. The last bit was accompanied by sake and a sweet. It was after the meal that all guests were to wait outside the tea room while preparations were done to clean up the room for the actual tea to be served.
The two young ones kept to themselves in a small corner as they waited patiently. He finally got a good look at her, since they had been seated side by side for the past hour or so. Her hair was in a tight bun, her makeup kept simple. She looked up at him and smiled.
"What are you looking at?" she was careful to keep her voice low, letting the rest of the elders mingle amongst themselves. Hana didn't want to attract any more attention than they already did, especially being the youngest ones at the tea ceremony.
"You," he answered honestly. There was something very humbling about seeing her in the traditional clothes. There really shouldn't have been any surprise. Mori was well aware of her physical features that were especially pleasing to his eyes. But seeing her in her iromuji was different.
Hana chuckled to herself and accepted his answer. He looked quite handsome in his own kimono. His broad shoulders were prominent through the fabric that squared off, with his sleeves which rose just a bit to show his veined forearms. He still towered over her, being well over 6 feet. Hana only reached a height of 5' 8", just tall enough to fit the mold of being a model. She didn't mind looking up to him, especially when he gave a small smile back at her.
There was something very special about seeing each other in their kimonos. Both were raised with traditional values and their culture ingrained deep in their upbringing. Traditional ceremonies like these gave them a sense of belonging, a way of bonding with their grandparents to another level. And now, a means of bonding with each other.
It was kind of silly when Mori thought about it. Why it felt so special to see her in her navy blue kimono and in minimal makeup. There was something sacred about it, seeing her in such a raw form. The iromuji she wore was plain, as the aesthetic appeal wasn't meant to take away from the ceremony itself. Yet even so, the intricacies he saw in the fabric, to the small strands of hair that began falling down to frame her cheeks, to her thin fingers that grasped onto the utensils – he liked it. Takashi embraced her in every form he could. He reached out to brush a loose strand of hair on her head before they were all called back into the tea room.
It was now the ritual of the thick tea, wherein each guest takes a sip from the bowl made by the host. Hana was the last of the guests and returned the bowl back to Morinozuka-san, praying that she wouldn't fall over during the journey. The hearth was relit, signifying a switch over to a new routine. Higashi was then brought out to pair with the thin tea prepared for each guest.
It was during this point in the ceremony where guests began to speak more comfortably. Hana and Mori stayed silent and let the elders catch up while they sipped on their thin tea, occasionally sneaking glances at each other.
"The two look like a good pair," they overheard.
"Ah yes, with the dark blues. Was that intentional?" The elders laughed. Hana took a good look at the colour of her fabric and his.
They looked at each other and then back to their small table. Leave it up to Hana's grandfather to intentionally pick out the one colour that matched with Takashi's. She exhaled and shook her head.
"Are they looking towards marriage?"
Hana nearly choked on her piece of higashi and quickly reached for her cup to wash down the offending piece of mochi that slowly slid down her throat. Takashi was evidently more composed than she was, not even batting an eye at the comments made on the other side of the room. He watched Hana purse her lips to stay quiet.
"Ah, the great-grandchildren… would be nice to see, eh?"
Hana wanted to throw her tea bowl at her grandfather who made the last comment. Mori was quick to reach over to her wrist. His grip was gentle enough to tell her to relax. Hana let go of the cup and rolled her eyes. She would have to lecture her grandfather on the way home about the dumb shit he says to his friends.
"They're only joking," Mori whispered.
Hana raised an eyebrow at him. They sounded pretty genuine to her.
"Relax," he murmured. "Drink more tea." Takashi patted her back to keep her fiery temper at bay. He had to admit it was quite cute, even if she didn't want to seem that way. Perhaps it was the years of sparring that her glare no longer gave him chills. Hana exhaled and only narrowed her eyes before surrendering and taking another bite of the higashi sweet.
Hana was doing well under the new department. So much so that Tanako-san was pleased with the progress of her team, and her performance. Whether it was flattery or genuine effort, Hana was unsure what to think when she received a call to go up to the top floor to meet with the President after work. She was informed that it was a meeting to discuss her performance with Tanako-san and a few other board members. Perhaps now, she would actually seem like a capable candidate.
But evidently, it was a trap to have her eat with the President and two other board members who brought their sons along. Hana sat at the dinner table, mostly silent throughout the meal. She listened to the two men her age boast about their own accomplishments and their positions in the company.
It would have been rather condescending to say that Hana was better than the two boys her age, since she also landed the job with the connection of her father. Only now, she landed the job of being the heiress while they were only directors of a mere department. It was suffocating, honestly – knowing that she was on the same level as these people.
The level of privilege and entitlement that she was born into.
"So, Hana – what do you think about taking over the company?"
The heiress raised an eyebrow. "I believe it is a little early for that. But it would be an honour." Hana calmly answered Candidate 1. She forgot their first names already, and went off by the last names of the executives. But in her head, it was easier to number the two men who were trying hard to keep a conversation going. Candidate 1 was the one with dyed brown hair, Candidate 2 had glasses and a sharp jaw.
"How are you going to keep working when you have children? Surely, you'd need someone to take over the company for you," Candidate 2 interjected. He was obviously trying to become that person for her, the all-too-capable man who can do everything for her instead. He graduated from Stanford and was now the director of marketing in the company.
Hana gripped the knife in her right hand with so much force that her knuckles turned white. She put down her utensils and took a sip of water. Cool and calm, Hana. Rise above the rage. The mountain never bows to the howling wind.
"I believe that is none of your concern," Hana gritted through her teeth.
"Hana is still young," the Sawada matriarch mentioned offhandedly. "There will be plenty of time for children in the future."
"Not for long," the mother of Candidate 1 snidely disagreed.
"Better to have them early – it would do terrible things to your body, especially as a model, if you wait too long," the other mother chimed in. The concern in her voice was as fake as her nose. Hana pursed her lips so she wouldn't scowl. Hana learned that it was better to keep a straight face. She wanted to give her cheeks a break from all the fake smiling.
The heiress waited five minutes before excusing herself from the room. They were on their last course. It was going to be dessert soon and it would all be over. Hana splashed some cold water onto her face, keeping herself awake and refreshed. She was lucky her makeup was waterproof.
Hana wanted nothing more than to run away. But she wasn't that little girl who did that. She had responsibilities and duties to uphold. There were no more excuses. She was an adult, and she was an heiress. Hana was now the face of the future for the corporation.
The face of the corporation walked into the room with poise and confidence, not afraid of the insults thrown at her. She would make it clear that this dinner would not faze her. Hana sat down at the dessert served in front of her.
"So Hana," Candidate 1 tried again at making conversation. "What hobbies do you have? I like to sail. Our family owns 4 yachts. I could take you on one, if you'd like," he grinned. Surely, that would have made Hana swoon.
Hana took a bite of the mousse cake and answered the question honestly. "I don't have any hobbies. My free time is dedicated to investments. I work hard to prove my place in this company."
"Oh no," the mother of Candidate 1 frowned. "As the President, you shouldn't be overworking your daughter like that. A child should be able to enjoy her youth by being able to go out. Our Aiba can take her out sometime." She patted the shoulder of her son and smiled, thinking Hana would be quick to take on that offer.
Hana looked at the President. He wasn't going to defend his daughter and Hana quite honestly preferred his silence. It just another opportunity for her to speak for herself.
"It's not his fault," Hana was quick to respond. "But rather the fault of society who doesn't take me seriously enough as a businesswoman."
The executives laughed nervously. "Hana, we take you very seriously as the heir to the corporation," they assured. Hana was not amused by their comment but let it go. Tonight would never end if she kept making passive-aggressive comments. The dinner ended with fake smiles as the Sawada family sent off the other two families home.
Hiro had gone back to New York already, which only left the three remaining Sawadas at the dinner table. They were in a private room in an upscale restaurant. Hana stood up, ready to leave without a word before she was called to sit back down by her mother.
"So what do you think?" Hana's mother was eager to hear her daughter's thoughts on the potential candidates. "We can set up—"
Hana ignored her mother and locked eyes with the President.
"I believe my job is done here, Sir. Good night," Hana bowed before getting ready to take her leave. The President only nodded and agreed. They were business partners. There was no need to pretend. The dinner was just as suffocating for him as it was for Hana. Him being showered with disingenuous flattery and Hana being degraded as someone destined as a housewife. He was only dragged into this because his wife was eager to get on the train of matchmaking.
"What is this Sir? He's your father, Hana. Treat him with respect!" Hana's mother scolded.
The daughter sighed and grabbed her handbag. It was getting late and she was tired. She hadn't missed the closing of the LSE so she would even be tracking that on the way home. Hana deserved a hot shower and some sleep after this mess.
"Hana! Don't you dare leave this room! Who do you think you are with that scowl on your face throughout the night? These guests were genuinely interested in having you as a potential daughter-in-law and you treat them like—"
It would have been easy to run away again. Walk through the doors and let her mother yell at her back while she left. Hana turned around. She was not allowed to run away anymore. She was not a child. She would prove that.
"Stop pretending," Hana tried to save her mother some dignity. "We aren't a family."
Hana's mother froze in her place. It felt like glass shattering inside her body, the truth being said aloud with all three of them in one room. She wasn't prepared for this. Hana's mother had always assumed that they would carry on their lives like a family, even if they were all pretending. It felt like reality had crashed down upon her.
"I would kindly ask that you leave me out of these dinners or whatever blind dates you think of setting me up with," Hana added. "Unless it is strictly business-related, I have nothing to do with you."
"Excuse me? I'm your mother!" she hollered. How dare her own daughter say she had nothing to do with the woman who gave birth to her.
"Too late for that, don't you think?" the daughter shrugged. "I don't need to be mothered. I need to be mentored. Tanako-san is doing a good job thus far," Hana informed the President. "I am learning a lot. I do appreciate the opportunity you've given, Sir."
The man nodded. He had heard good things about her. But he was still waiting for results. He needed profits, he needed those numbers to turn into something greater. Hana had proven nothing but potential thus far. The President could respect her as an employee, one of a special case. But an employee, nonetheless.
Hana bowed deeply out of respect, despite her mother claiming that she had none of it. She walked out of the room exhausted and ready to collapse.
Hana took a lot of pride in her independence. So when Mori asked her what was on her mind during their weekends together in his study, Hana was quick to shake her head and tell him nothing. She went back into analysing the data on her laptop while he only watched her avoid his question.
Takashi was not the kind of person to pry. But it was still a little disappointing to have her pretend it was alright. It only made him feel less secure about what they had. Why was she being so closed off? Was it because of him? What was he doing wrong? Did he not give enough?
Questions began forming at the back of his mind. Takashi knew that his worries were silly, but he couldn't help but wonder. What if he was never going to be enough for her?
Hana looked up from her screen to see Takashi zoning out. He was in the midst of planning a lesson and he wasn't usually the kind of person to zone out – he was very cognisant of his surroundings. Takashi was more of a perfectionist than expected; each of his lesson plans were outlined in high detail so as to ensure that no information was left out. He took a lot of time to craft his lessons and seminars with deep focus.
"You okay, Takashi?" she asked.
"Hm?" he snapped out of his thoughts.
"Is something bothering you?" Hana couldn't quite tell what it was that bothered him, but she sensed that something was a little out of the ordinary.
He didn't want to lie to say no, but Hana was quick to place a hand on his arm and looked up at him with a concerned expression. It was like she knew that he was going to lie. The gesture wasn't accusatory or any thing of that sort, but it was more of a small nudge in reminding him that she wasn't here to judge nor pry if he didn't want to tell her.
"You," he told her.
"Me?" Hana was surprised to hear that. "I bother you?"
"You don't tell me what's wrong," Takashi confessed. "It worries me."
Hana put down her laptop and scooted closer to the man who had his back against his bookshelf. They usually worked in silence across from each other. She gently took the pen out of his hand and the notebook resting on his leg to place them on the ground so he could focus solely on her. Her arm naturally found its way around his own, with their hands intertwined.
"I don't want you to have to listen to my silly problems," Hana admitted. "I don't want you to worry about things that you don't have to worry about, Takashi. You have your thesis and your own job to think about."
"And you," he added. Mori squeezed her hand. "I want to think about you, too."
"Of course, I want you to think about me," she smiled up at him and kissed him on the cheek. "But not… my struggles. My imperfections. My emotional baggage. I don't want you to experience those."
Takashi shook his head. "I want to. I need to," he insisted.
Hana laughed a little to herself, that was so strange. "Why?" Why would anyone willingly put themselves through the agony that their partner was in? To experience the distress that she did? Perhaps most of all, Hana didn't want him to run away. To judge her for the way she handled her problems, the thoughts that went through her head. It was irrational, and she knew it. Hana knew that she couldn't keep up a perfect image, but she still wanted to.
She still wanted him to fall in love with her. Hana didn't want Takashi to see her in the way she did. Hana was still that lost person from years ago, even if she didn't want to be. Hana wished she was more mature. She didn't want him to know how she treated her mother, how cruel and cold she could honestly be. She didn't want him to know how she had looked at her pretend father all these years, as a greedy capitalist with no intent of having any care for his family. Hana saw herself as an inconsiderate brat with no right to be called honourable. Hana was so terribly selfish.
And Takashi was bound to find out about these flaws.
"I don't want to fight you," Takashi whispered. He grazed his thumb over her hand, and kissed her on the forehead. "I want to fight with you against whatever it is."
The woman shook her head and smiled weakly. She appreciated his sentiment. "You can't fight with me. This isn't your fight."
"Then at least let me tend to your wounds and bruises, Hana," he murmured in her ear.
Hana sat in silence for a minute, resting her head on his shoulder before looking up at him. Takashi pleaded with his eyes to tell him what was wrong. She let out a long sigh.
"I don't want you to think… I'm a terrible person," she mumbled. "I'm not… perfect. I don't want you to run away and even though I can't make you stay, I just don't… want to ruin us."
"I'll stay," he assured. "I promise."
She nodded, pulling him close so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Hana missed how he held her. He held her tight, calming her with the way he patted her back. He could feel her breathing slow, her whole body relaxing under his grip. Hana felt truly at home, at peace. Her worries were dampened temporarily. Hana couldn't have asked for anybody else, or anything else.
"I love you," she whispered. "I honestly, genuinely do. I don't know why it took me so long to tell you, but I do."
Hana pulled away, afraid that that might have been too much for a day. Even though it felt right to say, the timing certainly seemed a little random. Takashi blinked, unsure if he had heard right. Hana took it as a look of shock and smiled sheepishly, trying to reassure him.
"Sorry," she apologized. "I didn't… expect myself to say that. I don't expect you to say it back or anything. I just um, I'm sorry," Hana stuttered, running a hand through her hair, obviously embarrassed at herself and looked away.
Takashi shook his head. "No, don't be. Um," he too, was flustered. His heart was beating terribly fast, it was embarrassing. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and there would be no return. Why was it that he froze at such an important moment? He couldn't choke out the right words to express how he felt. How reassuring it was to hear her say it, even though Takashi had been wracking his own brain on how to say it himself.
He reached out to Hana and kissed her deeply. He pulled her closer by the waist and rested his hand on her neck. Takashi made sure that she knew he felt the exact same, letting his lips meet hers over and over again until Hana laughed before she pulled away from him.
"Okay," Hana nodded with a smile. "Not sorry anymore."
He pecked her on the lips again and smiled. "Good."
Hana didn't need him to say it. She knew from the way he looked at her, the way he unapologetically would walk her home and the flowers he would bring, the way he held her hand and her as a whole. Hana was well aware of how he felt about her.
She so badly wanted to keep it like this. Hana was afraid that it wouldn't last. Like every time she was with him was a dream that was bound to end. But his low chuckle brought her back to the present. He ran his fingers through her hair as he grazed her cheek. Hana grinned back and refused to let the thoughts consume her for the time being.
Takashi Sawada was growing old. He couldn't pick up things and had a hand tremor that caused him to lose grip occasionally. He had a slight limp. Hana noticed these oddities growing more prominent over the past few months and continuously got yelled at whenever she tried getting him to go to the doctor's. While his body was no longer in shape, his brain and voice certainly did not grow old with him. Hana could only sigh and keep up with the household chores so her grandfather wouldn't have to struggle to do them.
Hana occasionally told her grandfather about the happenings at work, to which he would only nod in approval.
"Go get 'em, Hana. Show them all what you're worth," he'd tell her. "Don't let people give you shit."
Hana would always roll her eyes at him but took his encouragement. Hana wondered what her grandfather did over the course of the day while she was gone. He'd always tell her that he would take Kaina out for a walk, and practice his calligraphy. He spent his time cooking for her while she was gone and occasionally listening to the radio. He would read newspapers too and go out for tea with his friends. He lived simply, but it was fulfilling to him.
Things were looking steady in the finance department. There was nothing particularly exciting, no big plans or news. But steady growth and stability was always good to hear. When Hana was called up to the President's office, she was prepared for another trap to go to a dinner set up by her mother. There was no need for the President and the heir to meet when he got monthly reports from the Finance Director. After all, they only met for superficial reasons and business-related appointments.
Hana was called into the office promptly after work. Out of respect, Hana showed up to the President and bowed. They hadn't seen each other since the dinner set up by her mother two months ago. Neither of the two were eager to meet again.
"Was there anything in the report that you wanted to discuss, sir?" the heiress was not one to beat around the bush, and the President had come to appreciate her straightforwardness despite the prickly start.
"No," the President admitted. "I've seen the progress." It was a good start, so far.
"Ah," Hana was unsure what else to talk about. "Is there anything I can do for you, Sir?"
The man had a look of discomfort, as if he had things to talk about but was unsure how to. He cleared his throat.
"Your mother," he said, as if the two words were enough of an explanation to her. "She—"
"—This is a topic that we both would much rather avoid," Hana could see it in his eyes and there was no mistaking the awkwardness that came with his words that he uttered. "Is there anything business-related that we need to discuss?" She wasn't here to talk about her mother, and neither was he.
The man exhaled and shook his head. He was meant to inform Hana of a dinner that she had to attend tomorrow night but there was no point. He didn't want to go, and neither did she. Her mother couldn't get into contact with her. Hana had blocked her number. So that obviously left him as the messenger.
Hana bowed deeply and turned to take her leave from his office.
"Do you hate her?" the President asked.
Hana had her back faced to him. "Do you?" she shot the question back. It was a simple question with a complicated answer. Hate wasn't the correct word to describe what he felt towards the woman. A disconnect… a change of heart, maybe. But not hate.
She turned around. "I don't mind if you do," Hana admitted. "I would feel anger, bitterness, regret, and most of all, betrayed when it comes to her. I don't know what you see her as but I prefer… distance between her and I."
The President nodded. He did feel all those things. He felt all of the above and more. But after two decades, he was numb. He didn't strive to save his marriage nor did he look toward breaking it off entirely. They were stuck in a limbo, in a pool of emotions that he did not have the time nor energy to sift through. It was easier to distance himself. Keep up the superficial aspect. Focus on work. The company was his only purpose now.
"Do you know?" he asked the young woman. She stood her ground calmly on the other side of the room, her arms crossed and her posture invincible. She stood tall and ready for any fight coming her way.
"Know what?" Hana wasn't given much to work with in that question.
"Your real father?" the man clarified. He leaned back to watch the young woman think hard about his question. From the looks of it, Hana didn't know.
She stood silently, taking in the question as a whole. Hana wasn't sure what the President was trying to do. Why would this information be relevant to his business strategy? It took Hana a moment to realize that the man was human and not just a business tycoon she had been trained to negotiate with. He too, wanted answers after all these years, did he not? He was only human, and like anybody he was curious.
"I don't," she admitted after trying to psychoanalyze the man in front of her.
"Do you want to?" The President offered, wondering if she would take the bait. He wasn't sure what he was trying to prove with these questions, either. He just wanted to know how much she knew.
Hana shook her head. "What good would it bring? To be reminded that I'm just a big mistake."
They were not close enough to offer comfort to one another. They were business partners. The President could only nod at her answer. It was a plausible one that he could understand. He felt a pang of pity but brushed it off.
"Is that what she also reminds you of?" the President raised an eyebrow. Sure, he could understand her disdain towards him - but towards her own biological mother? The reasoning became ambiguous.
Hana took a deep breath and exhaled. "This conversation has crossed our line of professional boundaries, Sir."
"Were our boundaries ever clear, Hana?" She was his "daughter" working for the company. Their boundaries were never clear to begin with, especially when the rest of the company were quick at making assumptions about them both.
The woman stayed silent and pursed her lips. "I don't understand why this conversation is necessary."
"You're right, it isn't," the man agreed. "Your mother wanted you to go to dinner tomorrow night." He told her the truth of their longwinded conversation, even though it was evident that she was unimpressed with this entire meeting to begin with.
"I respectfully decline," Hana calmly answered. He could have told his secretary to funnel the message over to her department, but he didn't. That was odd.
The President nodded. He already knew that.
"If that is it, then I will take my leave now," she bowed again and turned to leave.
The President had one more thing to ask before Hana reached for the handle of the door. She was his only connection to him nowadays.
"Is he going to those appointments?"
She stopped in her tracks confused again. Hana turned around, keeping a grip on the door and looked at the President quizzically. Tonight was just filled with vague inquiries that Hana was too exhausted to keep up with. She had a long day.
"I'm sorry?" Hana asked, politely requesting for clarification.
"Your," the man cleared his throat and uttered out the word. "Grandfather."
"Ojii-san?" Hana tried again. "What appointments?" Ojii-san would usually tell her where he was going if he had an appointment – it was usually with a friend for tea, sometimes he had doctor's appointments but those were rare over the past year.
"His check-ups," the President repeated, this time being a little more specific. "For his tumour."
A/N: While uni begins very soon for me - fear not, this story will not be abandoned! I'm going to try my best to keep writing as much as I can before I have to dive deep into studying/internship applications/the-whole-shebang. Your reviews, as usual, are the things that keep me motivated to write and if I do not have the chance to update until my break (i.e. end of my school term), I hope all of you have a great year at school (or work!). Thanks for reading and sticking by for so long. :) I appreciate every single one of you.