Epilogue 8: Avocados vs. Cancer
A/N: This one's basically a short story and it's a doozy. Settle in, this is another long one. I had to delete some scenes again. In the end, I think it's the best epilogue yet.
Over two years after the purge.
Inside of the Wolford's home (which is inside a giant closet inside of the Clawhausers home), James Wolford was having a bit of a hard time breathing. It didn't help matters that Nick Wilde was currently lifting him in air by his neck and choking him.
"You...got...Spots...PREGNANT?!" Nick growled as he choked the life out of the boy. "She's only 16 years old!"
All James could get out was. "Acck! Urrg!"
"DAD STOP!" Spot pleaded with tears in her eyes. "It's not his fault!"
It didn't last long as Tim Wolford got Nick in a headlock. "'Dat's enough Nick! You don't know 'da whole story!"
"I know how it happened!" Nick growled. "He knocked up my little girl! I'm gonna kill him!"
"'Dis kinda behavior is unbecomin' of a mayor!" Tim said as he wrestled Nick to the ground.
The two wrestled and punched and bit. They flipped over the couch fighting. Spots and James were freaking out.
"Daddy stop!" Spots yelled.
"I swear to God, I was extra careful!" James said.
Tim finally had Nick pinned to the ground and put pawcuffs on him. "I'll have your job for this!" Nick snarled.
"Will you calm down and listen?!" Tim barked. "'Da kids right! It ain't all his fault! He wore a condom and even pulled out!"
"Like I'm supposed to believe that." Nick replied.
Aurburn interrupted. "It's true. I checked his room afterwards and...found the evidence."
James was embarrassed "Mooom!"
"There's something else you're not thinking of Nick. Spots is a hyena. A hybrid of canine and mostly feline and James is a cougar. I looked into it. Medically speaking James had a one in 778 chance of getting her pregnant and that's if they were trying!"
Tim got the cuffed Nick off the ground to sit him on the couch and Nick headbutted him for his troubles. "OW! Why you!"
He was about to throw a punch when James stopped him. "Dad! Are you really gonna punch the mayor of Zootopia and one of your close friends?!"
"He headbutted me!"
"He's just mad! Everyone sit down and chill out!"
Begrudgingly, Nick did just that. "That's better. Mom? Continue explaining."
"We found out Spots was pregnant about a week ago and she was scared to death to tell you. When we found out. We took James to the doctor."
"Why?" Nick asked.
" 'Ta check a theory Auburn had. Tell me, have you seen James' balls?"
Nick was offended. "No! Why would I ever?!"
" 'Dey're huge! Like two avocados next 'ta each other. Show 'em yer nuts Jim!"
James was incredibly embarrassed. "No way! I'm not just gonna show everyone my testicles!"
"Well 'den don't go around in yer underwear and night 'ta use 'da toilet!"
"It's different if it's you and mom seeing me in my underwear!"
Spots raised her paw. "I can confirm the avocados."
"I'll bet you can." Nick growled.
Spots started crying and almost left the room when Auburn stopped her.
Wolford scolded Nick. "Wilde, she's your daughter and she's real scared right now. She needs ya 'ta be 'dere for her ."
Nick felt ashamed. "Your right. I'm sorry honey. I'm just upset. It's not your fault."
"It's 50% her fault." Auburn replied.
"I'm calm now." Nick replied. "Can you let me out of these cuffs? I wanna hold my daughter."
"Promise not 'ta hit me or James?" Tim asked.
"I promise."
Tim took the cuffs off and Nick hugged his daughter. "Now, you were saying?"
"We went to 'da doctor. We found out James' has 'da highest, most fertile sperm count of any mammal not just in Zootopia, but on record."
Nick's ears perked up. "Say what?!"
"It's true. Not only 'dat, his sperm is liquid gold! Worth a ton! You know 'dat 'universal sperm' stuff ya used 'ta make yer four kids?! He IS 'da universal sperm! 'Dis kid's sperm can impregnate almost any mammal! 'Dats why he got Spots pregnant despite 'da fact that he wore a condom and pulled out."
Auburn explained more. "I checked the condom and it was slightly torn. Even his pre could have impregnated her."
Nick raised his head back. "Judy's gonna flip!"
"Really?" Tim said. "How many in her family got preggers in 'dere teens?"
"Good point."
" 'Dere's somethin' else we wanted to talk to you about. Both you and Spots."
"I know. They're gonna have to get married."
"...Not just 'dat. Look. James is already accepted to Bonevard. 'Dat kids GPS is incredible!"
Auburn corrected her husband. "GPA dear."
"Whatevah. Anyways, he could use 'da extra money and like I said, his sperm is liquid gold. 'Da medical community is willin' 'ta pay top dollar fer it since his sperm can impregnate anyone and 'dere's more and more inter-species couples now, we could sell his sperm at a higher 'per-gram' amount 'dan cocaine! He'd be a millionaire! Jim and Spots would be set fer life."
Spots wasn't too pleased. "Oh sure! He could have a ton of offspring all over Zootopia while he's in college and I'm stuck with the kids at home!"
"I didn't say I was gonna go through with it!" James protested. "I wanted to get your opinion first."
Tim looked at Nick. "He would be an anonymous donor. No one would know who 'da father is. "Dey say 'dey wanna label it under 'Sperm X'."
"James would know." Nick argued. "You'd have a ton of hybrids. Imagine a smaller bear with spots all over it's fur pattern."
"Nick is right." said James. "I don't like this idea at all. I wanna make my money by curing cancer! Not jerking off in a petri dish."
Wolford tried to argue. "But think about all those couples who are having a hard time conceiving and here you got more tadpoles swimmin' around in you 'dan 'da Bayou river! You'd be doin' 'da world a service!"
Nick thought about it for a moment. "Do you think the medical industry is willing to pay a real high price for his sperm?"
This upset Spots. "DAD!"
"Hold on. I'm not saying for him to constantly donate sperm. I agree that it wouldn't be right for either James or Spots. That said, it may be possible for them to duplicate the condition that James' has. So here's my advice. Give them one, maybe two samples tops and make them pay through the nose."
Tim thought about it. "Put his jizz up fer ransom in a one-time offer?"
"Right. They can take that sample and work with that. Put the bid real high and make them bargain for it."
James timidly asked Nick. "So...since we're having this conversation...are we cool?"
"No...I'm not cool with this...SIGH!....But I guess I don't have much of a choice. I'm sorry I lost my temper Jim."
"Awww! Thanks Mr. Wilde!" James got up and hugged Nick which instantly made the fox growl. "Okay. Maybe that's too soon."
Nick noticed Wolford rubbing the top of his head. "Did that smart?"
"Sure it did!" Tim replied. Y'know I had a concussion 'dere two years ago k'now?"
"I'm sorry. C'mere." Nick grabbed Tim's head and started licking the top of it.
It was real awkward for Tim. "Hey! Hey! It's alright! I forgive you!"
Nick stopped and spat out a bit of fur. "We gotta get home Spots. I just hope your mother doesn't freak out."
Moments later, they were in Nick's van. He just started the van when he began to whimper. Spots stretched out her long arm around her father. "What's wrong dad?"
"You're going to have...SNIFF!...to have your own babies. And I'm going to loose mine!"
He started to sob as Spots held him. "I-I only had you for over two years! It's not fair dammit!"
Spots wept with him as well. "You're not going to lose me daddy! Me and James aren't leaving the city! I'll still be freeloading off of you and making Judy and Candy help babysit."
"You...SNIFF!...You promise you're not going to leave?!"
"I'll never leave my family."
"...I love you."
Spots hugged and kissed his father on the cheek. "I love you too daddy."
They went home right as Judy and Candy came home with the kids. Nick took Judy aside and explained what happened. She took it very well and sat down by Spots. She told her she will support her and do everything to make sure her and the children have everything they need and that she had been through this kind of thing before with some of her own sisters. Spots hugged Judy and cried tears of relief that everything would be okay.
Meanwhile, at the Zootopia Pregnancy Clinic...
Tim and James were waiting for the head of the clinic to arrive. James' sample was beside him in a cooler full of ice.
"Now let me do 'da talkin'." said Tim. "Nick's right. We gotta start high and then settle a little lower. Make 'em work fer 'dis if yer sperm is that valuable. How much ya got in 'dere?"
"About twelve ounces." said James.
"Twelve ounces?! 'Dats as much as a can of soda! How many times did ya have to spank 'da mongoose 'ta make 'dat volume?!"
"...Once."
"Jeez Louise! Okay, I'm startin' 'da bid at ten million."
"TEN MILLION?! They'll never go for that!"
"Of course not! But it will show 'dat we mean business! 'Dey already know yer not gonna be giving out more samples so 'dey gotta bid high. 'Dis'll pay fer your college education and will support yer future wife and kids fer awhile."
"Alright dad. I'll follow your lead."
Just then, the head of the clinic, an ox by the name of Dr. Oxford came out and greeted James and Tim. "Well! You must be James Wolford. The man with the magic sperm I've heard to much of."
"Yes sir." James said nervously.
"That small sample you gave your doctor last month has shown incredible results. It can impregnate several species of animals if used."
Tim got in the way. "Well my kid ain't interested in impregnatin' anyone except his own girlfriend. I disagree, but support his decision. So, yer only getting' 'da one sample and you can test with it and figure out how to duplicate what my boy has."
"Alright. How much of a sample are we talking about?"
"Twelve ounces." James replied.
"That's a good size sample! How much do you want for it?"
Tim spoke up. "Ten million."
"SOLD! I'll have my secretary write you out a check."
Tim and James were both in shock. "Seriously?! No haggle?"
"No haggle. The medical industry really wants that sample."
"C-could I have asked for more?"
"Probably, but you'll never know now. Sorry folks, but I'm a busy ox. Thank you for your time."
The ox took the sample and Tim nearly fell over. "I-I should have bid higher!"
James caught his dad and gave him a hug. "You did great dad. Ten million is a lot! I thought you bid too high. Remember?"
"Y-Yeah. Yeah. I love you son. Now let's go get yer check Mr. Moneybags!"
Meanwhile...
Nick finally got rid of one of the deadbeats in his apartment complex that hadn't paid in months. A little over a month later, Spots had three kits, all healthy. Spots and James got married at Stu's farm and Stu was kind enough to let Nick hold his empty shotgun which he poked in James' back as he said his nuptials. Everyone laughed and it was all in good fun. Nick was happy since his daughter still lived in the same building as him only a few floors down.
While Spots was still a tom-girl, she followed Bonnie in that she got pregnant again fairly quickly. Fortunately for everyone involved, she only had one to three at a time. Since James was able to get that ten million, no one was too upset. Until it happened again...and again...and again. Spots became as known for being barefoot and pregnant as Bonnie ever was in her heyday.
18 years later...
James Wolford is slumped over a computer at his medical lab. The lids of his eyes barely able to pry open. Tiny, empty vials of 5-hour boost drinks are strewn all over the desk. He's been up for three days straight. Barely eating and dehydrated. James Wolford has only one thing he's focused on and that's stopping the cancer that's destroying his wife's body.
At age 34, Vivian Wolford, otherwise known as Spots, is now getting near the late stages of liver cancer. She only had days left before it's completely incurable. Her radiation treatments left her completely without fur. Her eldest daughter Rosalyn just graduated high school and is by her side in her bed at home along with her namesake and Spot's best friend, Rose. Rose became the Wolford's Nanny and Spots' occasional lover with James' full approval. She's considered a member of the family.
James' lab partner Richard pats the cougar on the back. "Jim. Go home! You gotta get some sleep!"
Jim could barely shake his head. "No...No! I'm so close! It's there in protein 7-A! I've worked on it for so long! It blocks the cancer cells, but they eventually get past! Why isn't it working?!"
"I don't know Jim, but you're not going to find the answers like this. You need to get some rest."
"I'll rest when I'm dead."
"...Jim."
"MY WIFE IS DYING RICK! I'm going to do everything in my power to save her. I...SOB! I lost my mother do this damn cancer. I can't lose my wife! I just...I..."
Jim passed out in his lab coat and fell off of his chair and onto the floor.
The cougar woke up the next day under his desk with a pillow under his head. "Rick must've tucked me in." He then looked at his messages.
"There's cereal and milk in the break room. We got a big problem. We haven't shown much in the way of results lately and they're gonna cut our funding. We need more money. - Richard Dammaker P.S. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Get out of the lab and recharge."
"I've put every dime I had into this. Where am I going to get more...my sperm! I have to sell more of my sperm. Spots is going to be pissed."
He looked at the other texts. "Dad! Everyone wants to know when your coming home?! You missed Casey's birthday! - Rosalyn"
"Get the fuck over here before I have to go over there myself and drag your ass home. - Vivian"
James chuckled. "Viv, you're such a fighter. They're right dammit. I gotta take a break. This isn't helping."
An hour later, James was home. He kissed his daughters and hugged his sons as he went over to his wife.
They smiled at each other. "Hey."
"Hey jerk. Long time no see."
He held her paw as tears ran down his cheeks. "Honey, I'm sorry I haven't been around, but I'm so close. So CLOSE! I can stop the cells with this particular formula, but it only slows them down a little bit and then they keep going. I've been losing sleep and working on this day and night!"
"I know, I know. But you can't keep this up all the time. Honey, you're burning yourself out!"
"The tears came on harder I know that and I don't care! I don't! I lost my mother to cancer. I can't lose you too! I just can't!"
He held onto her and wept. Spots tried to reassure him. "I know baby! I know! I haven't stopped fighting too. Whatever you come up with, I'll try. I'll keep being your test subject until you find the solution. I know you will."
"Are Rose and Rose treating you well?"
"As always. They only left so we could have our private chat...Jimmy?"
"...Yeah?"
"...If I don't make it..."
"YOU'LL MAKE IT!"
"Keep your damn voice down! If I don't...marry Rose. Please. You two need each other."
"She's lesbian. She's not interested in me sexually. At all."
"I know, but the kids love her like a second mother. She does love you just...in her own way."
"Vivian...you're going to make it through this and you know what? I'll let you marry Rose into our family either way."
Rose burst into the room crying. "You mean that?!"
James was a little offended. "Were you listening I?!."
"Yes, shut up. Now, did you really mean that?!"
"Of course. You're family Rose. I know you don't feel the same for me as you do for Spots and I've...y'know, never gotten a home run from you in bed, but if you two want to make love with me out of the way or just watching, well...I don't mind being the cuck every once in awhile."
Spots laughed. "Oh yeah! You make a GREAT cuck!"
"Hey!"
Rose joined in on the jokes. "I can buy you a long nightshirt that says 'Kiss the Cuck!' "
They laughed for a moment and then, there was silence. James looked at Spots. "My department's out of fund money."
"...Shit."
"I need at least 5 million, fast. There's only one way I know how to get that much money."
"Selling Rose's body?"
Rose laughed. "To what? A horror show?"
James continued. "No. I need to sell my sperm again. I-I know you don't want that and I agreed, but it's either that or I can't cure you."
"Go for it." said. "If me possibly living means you might populate the city with little Jimmys' everywhere, then fine. By the way, that was almost 20 years ago. Has nothing come from that?"
"Last I heard, they manage to duplicate it, but too closely. They copied my own DNA which is a big, medical 'no-no'. Plus, I'm sure that sample's getting old. I can imagine they can only freeze it so many times."
"If it gets you the money you need, you can blow your load all over their damn office."
"Eww. In a jar would be fine dear."
Hours later, James made it to the Zootopia pregnancy clinic with a sample of his sperm. Carl Oxford, the ox Tim and James bargained with almost 20 years prior, was still there. He shook James' paw. "James Wolford. Pleasure to meet you again."
"Thanks Mr. Oxford."
"Your work into cancer research has been phenomenal."
"Oh! You study medical science too?"
"Indeed! So what brings you here? Is your wife pregnant again?"
"N-No sir...She has cancer."
"I'm so sorry to hear that."
"It's been a long time, but I have another sperm sample. How much would you want for it?"
"You need money?"
"I've been battling cancer like mad and now my department is strapped. I can give you twenty million for it! I'm sure you need a fresh batch to study."
"Tempting, but we still have a fair amount of your old sample left."
"Really? How has it not frozen to death?"
"We don't freeze it anymore. It's refrigerated and stays fresh thanks to our lab using a formula you helped invent called 'Protein 7-A'."
"That's my work!"
"Don't get upset! Your University does share it's findings."
"How does it work for you?"
"Cells from the protein stop the sperm dead in it's tracks and hold onto it until we need it. It's kind of self-freezing."
"Wait. I'm using the same protein, but it doesn't hold the cells for long. It only slows them down."
"We added a chemical called 'Frosobate' which is a cryo-bonding agent."
"Hmmm...It grabs the sperm and freezes them in place?!"
"Yes. Without harming it so it can stay fresh. You see, your 7-A works like a linebacker holding the opposing linebacker, but eventually the opposing team gets through. In this case, you linebacker freezes his opponents in place."
"So how do you thaw it?"
"Radon A-5. It kills the protein without harming the sperm. Kinda weird though. The freezing part turns them blue."
James just realized he may have the chemical to solve his problems. "That's it! I think that's it! Mr. Oxford! I'm willing to give you this sample if you can give me some samples of my refrigerated sperm and some vials of that 'Frosobate'!"
"Okay. But our current version only works on sperm, not other cells."
"Then it needs to be re-engineered to only go for certain cells!"
"Is that possible?"
"I think so! Pardon my rush sir, but can you hurry? I need those samples ASAP!"
"Sure." Oxford chuckled. "Although you taking some of your sperm back? I might have to call you an Indian giver!"
"Dude...That's racist."
"I...well...They never made another term for that!"
James rushed back to his lab. He studied his old sperm and carefully watched the protein. He tried some of Spots sampled blood with the protein and the Frosobate. It didn't take.
Hours later, Rick came back to see James hunched over his microscope. He was worried. "James...Tell me you got outside!"
"I did Rick. Thank you! It was the best thing I could have done. My own sperm might be the key to curing cancer!"
"What?!"
"Or rather, what the clinic did to it. I've been reverse-engineering the frosobate they use to not go for sperm, but rather the cancer in this blood sample."
James put another bit of Spots' blood in a petri dish and then added his re-engineered protein with a syringe. "C'mon baby! C'mon!"
The protein cells that bonded with the re-done Frosobate went for the cancer cells and only the cancer cells immediately. It stopped them dead in their tracks. "C'mon you little bastards!" James said. "Stay frozen!"
Rick hovered over James. "Is it working?"
"I-I don't know yet. If it fails, they should push past any minute."
James watched and waited. They didn't push past. They turned blue. The cancer had been frozen in it's place.
James was on the verge of freaking out. "They turned blue...They turned blue! Holy shit!"
"I-Is that good?!" Rick asked.
"Good?! It's fucking phenomenal! We may have just cured cancer!"
"Are you shitting me?!"
James put Rick's eyes under the microscope. He had to adjust the chair because Rick was a beaver.
"Are they still blue?" James asked.
"Yeah."
"They're not moving?!"
"Not a bit. Frozen in place."
James circled around. He was freaking out with joy. "I stopped cancer! Froze it in it's tracks! Oh my God! Oh my God!"
"A-And you're sure this will work?!"
"Pretty damn sure. But I won't know until I try it on my wife."
"You're using her as a test subject? That's dangerous."
"Not as dangerous as her not being cured. She's almost to the point of no return. I have to make a batch to inject in to her now! But first, I gotta share our findings with the university."
As James went to his keyboard, he heard the click of a gun. "Not so fast."
James turned around to see his lab partner pointing a gun at him. "...Rick?"
"Sorry James I had to. Look, I didn't want to go this far. Let's not share these findings! If we have the cure for cancer then we could sell our research to the highest bidder in the pharmaceutical industry! We'll be billionaires!"
"Rick...I didn't do this for money. I did it to save my wife! I did it for my mother! I did it so that no more children have to see a loved one shrivel up and die in front of their eyes! If we sell this to the pharmaceutical industry, they'll attach a ridiculously high price to it so only the rich and wealthy are cured. Besides, it doesn't kill the cancer. It just freezes it in place!"
"Don't play dumb with me James! If the cancer can be frozen, then it can't spread! I'm not going to let you ruin this for me!"
"It's too late. I already have been sharing most of my work. They're going to find out. Besides, I..." James looked past Rick. "Who the hell is that?!"
Rick took his eyes off of James for a second and turned his head. "What?"
In a flash, James knocked the gun out of Rick's paw and it landed on the ground. James then judo flipped Rick and twisted his arm to his back. "I live with my father who's the chief of police and my uncle who taught me judo. You never stood a chance buddy."
James had Rick pinned to the ground. One arm twisted and a knee on his back. James was already calling security. "NNNHHH! You're making a big mistake!" shouted Rick. "We could be rich beyond our wildest dreams!"
"I have a loving wife and nanny, dozens of great kids, siblings and a wonderful mother and father. Dude, I'm rich beyond our wildest dreams!"
Security came and took Rick away. Hours later, James was home with a syringe with the formula inside.
"Are you sure it'll work?" asked Spots.
"No. But it's our best shot yet. Here goes nothing." He then injected Spots right in the liver with the dose.
4 days later...
James went inside his bedroom and found Spots doctor there...along with a ton of press all flashing their cameras.
Dr. Moosejaw shook James' hand. "You did it sir!...You did it!"
"Y-You mean?!"
"I've checked her for the last 4 days. The cancer has stopped dead in it's tracks and we can kill off the remaining cells."
James leaped onto Spots' bed and cried in her arms. "AAAAAAAAHHH! WE DID IT!"
The doctor continued. "Bring her down to the hospital tomorrow and we can work on killing off the remaining cells now that they can't move. After that, she'll be in remission and should make a full recovery. Once more we looked over all of your research. We think we can ad this formula to vaccines."
"SNIFF! R-Really?!"
"Yes! Imagine. One shot of this in a mammal at a young age and they'll never get cancer!"
"I-I want to give a ton of credit to Dr. Oxford at his pregnancy institute. He had the one part of the formula I was missing. Hunh! I never would have thought my own avocados would have played a huge part in this."
One of the press was confused. "Ummmm..what avocados are you talking about?"
"My testicles. It's a long story."
The doctor left and James explained everything to the press. They took some more picture and then James asked them politely to leave. The kids all came in and hugged their mother and wept tears of joy.
After the kids left, James was left with Rose and Spots. They all laid on the bed together.
"It's over." James said with a smile. He then kissed Rose on her mangled cheek. "I'm keeping my promise by the way. You can marry Spots and me."
"Thanks Jim. If it's okay, I'm gonna just pretend to be married to Spots only."
"I understand."
Spots then spoke up. "Y'know what Jim? I changed my mind. I want you to donate your sperm."
"Really?! Why?!"
"I wouldn't have been cured if you didn't make that first donation and found out later how they were keeping your old sperm fresh and...you not only saved my life, but possibly millions. Your sperm can bring a ton of lives into the world for couples who would have no other way outside of adoption or risk that 'universal sperm' stuff."
She kissed her husband on the lips. "There are so many who take lives. You only give. So keep making life and make us seriously rich."
James was surprised when Rose pulled him over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "You know what?! You deserve a reward for this. Take off your pants."
"Say what?!"
"Even though I'm a full blown lesbian, I'm gonna let you mount me. Just this once."
James quickly started pulling off his pants. "Hot damn! I'm gonna go where no man has gone before!"
Rose took her clothes off in bed, then bent over and put her face in the pillow. "I'm just gonna pretend you're Spots with the strap-on."
Spots was concerned. "Rose honey, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"He's a cougar! I'm a rabbit! We can't possibly breed. Trust me, nothing bad's gonna happen."
Two days later...
"I'M PREGNANT?!" shouted Rose.
"I warned you." said Spots.
Rose started to panic. "What am I gonna do?! Dad's gonna kill me!"
"You're worried about your dad? You're 33 and living with us. What's he gonna do? Force you to marry us when we decided to marry you before you got pregnant?!"
"What if I'm no good at being a mother?"
"Are you insane?! You've been a great nanny to my kids and you took care of Bean for ten years. You've been ready to be a mother for a long time."
"It's gonna be a hybrid. What if...What if it's too big?"
"Then you'll have a C-Section."
"What if it's way too big and I have to have an abortion?"
Spots put her paws on Rose's. "Then we'll be there for you. We'll cross that bridge together if it happens. Rose, I'm so lucky. I've got a genius husband who cured my cancer and I got both the loves of my life to grow old with and a wonderful family. We'll be fine."
"What do we call them?"
"Call what?"
"The hybrids!"
"I don't know. They're part bunny, part cougar. Cunnies?"
"God no!"
"Bougars?"
"Sounds like boogers. Instead of bunnies, think rabbits."
"Rougars."
"Nah."
"Cabbits."
"...Not bad, but...eh."
"Raggers."
"...I like that. Sounds tough!"
"Raggers it is then."
A few days later at the ZPD offices,,,,
Police Chief Tim Wolford was a happy wolf. He came out of his office with a newspaper in his hand. "My boy did it! Look at this!"
He was reading the headlines to the other officers. "Look at 'dis! Police Chief's son stops cancer cold and receives Nobel prize in medicine. How about 'dat?! 'Dis is history makin'! I could dance and sing all day!"
Tim was dancing around when he saw sergeant Harvey bringing in a puma. "Hey Earlong! My son cured cancer and is getting' 'da nobel prize! Isn't 'dat great?!"
"I heard." Harvey replied.
Wolford looked at the Puma. "What're you in for?"
"Shoplifting." said the puma.
"Is 'dat all?! Buddy, today, is your lucky day. I'm in such a good mood right now, I'm gonna let you go."
"Thank you so much sir!" said the puma.
As Wolford was undoing the cuffs, Harvey looked concerned. "Uhhh chief?"
"Not now Earlong!"
"But chief!"
"Not now!"
Wolford undid the cuffs and gave the puma a big hug. "Now, you take 'dis opportunity 'ta better yourself. Ya hear?!"
"Yes sir!" said the puma. "Thank you!"
Wolford watched the puma run out of the office. A smile came upon the wolfs face. "Feels good 'ta change someone's life. Okay Harvey. What is it?"
"He also shot the clerk."
Tim's smile turned into a frown and his eyes bulged ou of his skull. "..AWWWWW SHIT! We gotta stop 'dat guy! All officers on 'dat puma and...where's my wallet? 'Dat bastard took my wallet!"