AN: So I'm about three chapters ahead of my schedule and this stuff is just pouring out of me, which is really awesome because I'm on spring break and actually have time to write! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and we'll have a bit of Clint/Steve bonding before we actually get to any of the good stuff. Because Charlotte is too freaking stubborn. :) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the desire to continue writing this fanfic ;)
I woke up the next morning cuddled next to Steve, who remained blissfully asleep. Feeling distinctly off balance I sat up in bed and hugged my knees to my chest. Struggling to work through my emotions I kept coming to the same conclusion, over and over again. I was in love with Steve. Completely, totally in love. The rational side of my brain reared back and denied profusely, telling me over and over that it wasn't love, it was infatuation. I couldn't be in love with him. I had known him barely a week. That wasn't love. You couldn't fall in love with someone in a week. It was crazy. Love at first sight didn't exist! The scientist in me began reciting the chemical formula for serotonin and dopamine, trying to convince the rest of me that all I was feeling was a mix of chemicals, that was all. Chemicals. Just chemicals and infatuation, that was all that was going on inside of me.
I looked back over at Steve and felt those emotions rise up again within me, leaving me breathless. I looked away quickly.
"Damnit," I muttered, chewing absentmindedly on the flesh of my thumb. I had never in my life been in love, never imagined that it was something I would ever be lucky enough to experience. Sure enough I had read about it in books, seen it in movies, even in real life, but I never expected it to happen to me. I rolled my eyes at that cliched thought, but I really hadn't. I was sure that I was going to end up like Stella, content to hop from bed to bed when necessary and fulfill my needs within my own life. I never dreamed I'd find myself so entwined with someone else. I laid back down and looked over at Steve, his face peaceful and calm in sleep. My mind raced through scenarios, engagement, marriage, babies, growing old together. I hated myself more and more as the dream scenarios I pictured seemed closer and closer to reality. As if sensing my predictions, Steve opened his eyes slowly to meet mine, his face automatically blooming into a smile, stealing my breath and making me smile back at him.
"Good morning," he murmured.
"Good morning," I answered back. He snuggled closer to me rubbing my arm softly.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked, still pulling himself from sleep.
"Yeah, I did," I replied, "You?"
"Mmm," he hummed in agreement, "I did. I always sleep well with you," he smiled and moved closer to me, nuzzling his nose into my hair. "Have I ever told you how much I love the way you smell," he said, voice still husky from sleep. I swallowed hard and shook my head. He rose onto his elbows to look at me more clearly, his blue eyes sleepy but so incredibly sincere.
"I love your lips, the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, your cheeks, how long your neck is," he worked his way down, leaving kisses and tender touches as he spoke. I tried to resist but felt myself melting under him, the solid bulk of him so incredibly reassuring.
"I love the curve of your hips, right here where your waist nips in, and of course," he murmured mischievously as he nuzzled a cheek against my breast. I grinned, and he nipped playfully.
"Charlotte, this week with you has been amazing. You are amazing. I just want you to know how much I care about you. How much you matter to me. Charlotte, I-" alarm bells rang, both literally and figuratively as my phone alarm went off on the beside table. I jumped, disentangling myself from him and turning the alarm off.
"Sorry, I've got to go. I have a, uh, a shift this morning," I explained, backing away from the bed and putting on clothes. Steve looked on bewildered and slightly hurt. I hated myself for leaving, for making excuses, but I knew what he was going to say, I knew that he was going to say that he loved me and I just couldn't handle that right now. I needed to deal with my own emotions before I figured out what in the hell I was going to do with his.
Steve sat up in bed and raked a hand through his blonde hair.
"Yeah, I guess I have to get going too. I've got to get into work. Um, do you need a ride back to your apartment?" he asked, equally as unsure of what to do with himself. I cringed at the awkwardness between us and hated everything.
"No, I'll be fine. I've got my metro card. I'll just see you later, okay?" I said, pulling on my coat and purse. I hurried over and pecked his cheek quickly before making a not so measured dash to the elevator. Steve rushed out of the bedroom door behind me and I watched him as the doors closed, looking not just a little devastated. The doors shut soundly and the hum of the elevator picked up again as it began moving. I leaned back against the elevator door, exhausted and filled with self-loathing.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I said aloud. For once JARVIS remained quiet, and the silence was absolutely deafening.
Steve POV
Steve focused on the punching bag in front of him, concentrating his energy on the comforting sound of the thump of his fist against the bag, fighting against his mind's urge to think of Charlotte and how he had royally fucked everything up.
The bag flew across the room, coming untethered from the hook and Steve sighed heavily, lowering his fists and breathing hard.
"Tony's gonna be pissed you took out another bag," came Clint's voice from one of the balconies of the gym. Steve looked up, shaking himself out of his own thoughts to watch the archer climb down one of the beams and land soundly on the gym floor.
"Tony'll be fine," Steve returned shortly, going over to pick up another bag, hefting it over his shoulder and attaching it to the hook. Clint stepped in before Steve resumed punching, making the super soldier lean back reluctantly.
"Wanna practice on a real target? They way you look right now, you'll be taking out more than one of those today," Clint proposed, wrapping his hands idly. Steve shrugged and nodded. They walked over to the sparring mat, taking positions opposite each other, hands up. Steve advanced and Clint feinted left, getting in a quick jab to the kidneys.
"Off your game old man, got yourself all tied up over a girl?" Clint teased. Steve grimaced and advanced, using a quick kick that put the archer on his back. Clint leapt up quickly and smirked.
"Definitely tied up over a girl," he concluded, "Trouble with Charlotte already?" he asked. Steve sighed and shook his head.
"I'm an idiot, that's the trouble," he muttered, Clint advanced and the two sparred, blocking each others hits until Clint slipped in an elbow to the chest. Steve backed off and grimaced.
"Sorry, didn't quite catch that. Did you just say you were an idiot?" Clint smirked. Steve glared at him. "Sorry, man, I'm just joshing you," Clint put his hands up defensively.
"How, specifically, are you an idiot?" he asked, still smirking. Steve grunted shortly.
"Are we here to talk or to fight?" he asked, before charging the archer and sending him into defensive movements. Clint read every move before it came, blocking effortlessly. He cut the super soldier down, surprised at how easy it was. Steve must've been really messed up over her. The skirmish ended with Steve flat on his back and Clint's boot on his neck. Steve surrendered tiredly, raising his hands.
"I guess we're here to talk then," Clint finished, dropping beside Steve and resting his arms in his knees, unwrapping his hands.
Steve sat up tiredly and rubbed his face with his hands.
"So we already established that you're an idiot," Clint began, "Now, why again is that?"
"I screwed up things with Charlotte this morning. Got ahead of myself," Steve mumbled.
"Ahead of yourself? What are you talking about?"
"I almost said something I shouldn't have. Scared her off."
"What'd you almost say?" Clint asked, feeling distinctly like he was back in high school. Steve glared at him.
"I almost told her I loved her. I think she knew that I was going to say it and she ran out of the apartment before I could get it out," he finished quietly. Clint sat back in surprise, hands up.
"Hold up, bring it back. You were going to tell her you loved her?" he asked. Steve nodded, "And you've known her how long?"
"About a week," he admitted.
"And you're in love with her?"
"Known since Wednesday night. Haven't gotten up the nerve to tell her. Had this whole plan in my head, how to tell her, where, let her get used to it before springing it on her. Then this morning I just about blurt it out and she takes off," Steve sighed heavily, dropping his hands to his knees.
"Jesus Cap. Not even a week in and you're carrying a torch for her. Why am I not surprised?" Clint remarked. Steve huffed in frustration and stood, turning from Clint and placing his hands on the ropes of the ring.
"You should've seen her face this morning when she left. Looked like someone took the breath out of her. Never seen her move that fast. I screwed it all up." he finished. Clint sat on the floor, processing the information and sighed heavily.
"No Cap, I don't think you did."
"What are you talking about? Of course I did. You didn't see her this morning. She couldn't get away fast enough," Steve lamented.
"No, I didn't see that. What I did see was that she spent all last night looking at you like the sun shone out of your ass," he commented. Steve turned to look at Clint, bewildered.
"What?"
"Cap, how old is she? 29? 30?"
"27," Steve answered sullenly.
"She's a kid. Not in normal people terms, but in ours, she's just a kid. She probably is terrified. But if last night was any inclination, she's more terrified of herself than she is of you." Steve looked over, completely lost. Clint shook his head and rose, leaning back against the ropes and crossing his ankles. "Listen Cap, I make my living off of watching people. Now, most of the time they're targets, but after a while you get pretty good at reading people. I might not know much about Charlotte, but what I do know is that she's pretty damn stacked, sharp as a whip, and for some reason I can't fathom, is head over heels for you and completely freaked by it," he finished, pulling out one of his many knives and shining it as he spoke. Steve looked on, trying to work through everything Clint had just said, thinking back on the last week with Charlotte. She was private for sure, didn't like talking about her past or her feelings, kept things light most of the time. He could never get a good read on her, other than those few moments when she let him in, when she'd showed up at his apartment, their first date, when he'd come home from Stockholm. He worked through those moments in his mind, seeing her face, thinking of how her eyes had looked last night, the emotions in them matching the words he wanted to say, and then the fear in them this morning when he'd almost told her everything. She was falling for him too. It was taking her longer to come to terms with it, but she was coming right along with him.
"Shit," he muttered, a smile slowly blooming on his face.
"Damn right. Give her some more time, she'll come around to it. Not too much time though, God knows Nat and I have been circling each other for ages."
"You don't think this is happening too fast? Am I crazy for expecting her to feel the same way?" Steve asked. The archer chuckled sardonically and climbed out from the ropes.
"Not at all. Contrary to popular belief, I do believe in love at first sight and all of that horseshit. I knew from the first second with Nat," Steve spun and looked at Clint, shocked. "Of course, that was a little complicated considering I was supposed to kill her. Still is complicated. Sometimes I wish I'd just told her from the get go. Save us both heaps of trouble." Clint shrugged nonchalantly. "You want my advice? Give her a few days. Send her flowers or some other romantic shit if you know what she'd like. Other than that, leave her be. She'll come around." Clint turned to leave and Steve shook his head in disbelief.
"Hey, Barton!" Clint turned back, "Thanks." Steve finished.
"Don't mention it. Really, don't mention it. I don't want the whole tower coming to me with their bullshit. You tell anyone and you'll find an arrow where the sun don't shine." Clint threatened. Steve grinned.
"Got it."
"Now get your head out of your ass and focus up. Nat's coming in here in a bit and if you don't want to be flat on your back in a minute I suggest you get the hell out or man the fuck up." he finished, exiting the training level. Steve snickered and nodded, hopping out of the ring and taking back his position at the punching bag. He'd give her a few days, but just a few. She was way smarter than him, so hopefully it would take her less than four days to come out and say it, or at least let him say it. Come Thursday night, he was telling her no matter what. He hoped to hell he wasn't making a mistake.
AN: Aww. Clint's such a good buddy. Review please!