Reckoning

August 2017 – March 2018

New York, Star Hollow, Darien, and West Port

With the relocation and their return to work, Logan and Rory set about their new life in New York. As per their custody agreement, Hayden stayed with Rory Monday and Tuesday nights, and with Logan Wednesday and Thursday nights, trading off weekends. Their nanny Clementina, traveled with Hayden between the two households. At first, the new parents adhered to their agreement, staying away and giving space when it was not their time with their son, yet as time moved on and schedules were interrupted (a business trip or long night at work here, a special occasion there), the schedule became more relaxed and fluid. Before too long, Rory and Logan found themselves at each other places on days that were not theirs, dropping by for a quick lunch, a long and lazy dinner, and/or an afternoon walk. They always spent at least one weekend day together, going to the zoo, watching boats float by in Battery Park, or just running errands. Platonic sleepovers became so regular that both Logan and Rory started keeping a stash of clothes and toiletries at each other's apartments.

As the holidays rolled around Rory and Logan made the decision to spend them together, ignoring yet another tenant of their custody agreement. It was a daunting task, seeing that they had to deal with three different branches of the family vying for time to spend with Hayden on his first holiday season. Thanksgiving was spent in Star Hollow, where Logan and Hayden got to experience their first Gilmore-Danes/Star Hallow Dragonfly Thanksgiving Dinner, complete with an over-the-top meal created by Sookie, more bonding time for Logan and Taylor and, despite the fact that he brought a female companion, palpable yet peaceful tension between Logan and Jess. The rest of the weekend was spent with Logan's family, which included an overnight stay and extended family get together at Logan's parents' house that included Christopher, Gigi, and Francine. Rory was pleasantly surprised at what a nice time she had hanging out with the Huntzbergers; she even found Shira tolerable after a few drinks. Christmas was just as busy with Christmas Eve and day spent at Honor and Josh's house allowing Hayden to open presents with his cousins. The next two days afterward found them at the very first "Very Gilmore-Danes-Hayden Christmas" in Stars Hollow with Rory's side of the family. New Years, to their great relief, was much much quieter, with Rory and Logan ringing in 2018 in Logan's apartment drinking champagne, eating doctored up frozen pizza, and watching the ball drop on TV while Hayden slept.

All in all the unconventional family into a fell into a comfortable rhythm, functioning in a flow that mimicked families in a more traditional arrangement. This did not go unnoticed. "What are you doing?" their family and friends would ask them individually in private. "You are functioning like a traditional family anyway, why don't you make it official?" Try as they might Logan and Rory could not answer that question to anyone's satisfaction. In the weeks and months following their move to New York, Logan and Rory were so focused on balancing the responsibilities of parenting and work, that there was little time to think about romance. Any questions regarding taking their relationship beyond co-parenting took a back burner. Finally reaching a point of relative balance and stability, Rory and Logan had no desire to change the status quo.

However, status quo was short lived. The change came on a random Sunday in March. Logan was over at Rory's place minding Hayden while she packed to go on her first business trip. She was leaving mid-morning the next day for a trip to Chicago to work on the re-imagination and renovation of the historic Navy Pier. She was a bundle of nerves not only about the trip but also about leaving Hayden. Yes, thanks for their custody agreement, Rory had gotten used to being separated from him, but not so long and so far away. It was while she was packing and going over her lists that she got the text. Upon checking her phone she immediately went into shock. "Holy Crap!" she heard herself and Logan exclaim at the same time. Rory ran out to the living room to see Logan staring at his phone in shock as well, apparently receiving the same message. There was no denying it was not true; on their phones were the identical image of Finn and Louise showing off her newly acquired engagement ring with the message:

We either have you two to thank or to blame. Time will tell. ;)

Prepare for a summer wedding in California!

3 L&F.

"The countdown to the apocalypses has begun!" Rory said in shock. "Time to stock up on ammo and bottled water." Logan countered.

They looked at each other and then dissolved into uncontrollable laughter, deep elated yet nervous laughter that left them both in tears.

"Oh, I can't wait to hear Paris' take on this," Rory said once she got control of herself.

"Finn! Of all people."

"Oh come on, way deep down inside Finn is a hopeless romantic. Now Colin? That would be a sight."

"He seemed pretty taken with your friend Madeline, they could have a double wedding."

"Oh, God please no..." Rory responded half laughing, half horrified. After catching her breath, Rory became a bit pensive.

"What are you thinking Ace?"

"They met less than a year ago. Less than a year and they are already engaged. That's awfully fast, don't you think?"

"There are people who are together for years, get married only to break up a year later. There are people who marry two weeks after meeting and end up happily married for 50 or so years. Love is a funny, funny thing. For some people, they just know right away."

"Yes, but how do you know that it's right?"

"You just know I guess." Rory looked at Logan quizzically.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" Logan asked

"How did you know with Odette?"

Logan was quiet for a moment gathering his thoughts. "I felt that I would not find anyone better."

"And yet you cheated on her with me, how did that happen?"

"You know after you turned me down all those years ago, I was devastated. Those years I spent in California I didn't date at all, I couldn't even look at another woman. All the energy I had I poured into work. It was that hard to get over you. The successes I had in California helped me get my head together. By the time I moved back to London, I felt normal for the first time in a very very long time. That was about three years Rory. While I did not go back to my old ways, I didn't live a monastic life either. Odette was the first woman I connected with after you."

'What was so special about her?"

"She was, is different. She lived her own life, didn't play the game that we were all groomed to play; she went off and did her own thing. She was independent, knew her own mind, and didn't need anything from anyone. You and she have a lot in common come to think of it. It was that need to be herself, to live on her own terms, that made her attractive. And well, it didn't hurt that we got along, I mean really got along. She was a kindred spirit in many ways. She knew what it was like to have to balance the expectations of being from "that" family with wanting to be real and true to yourself. You know, she probably got kick out of as many prep schools as I did? I can't say that what I felt for her wasn't real. There were genuine feelings there, there was a genuine love. However, there was always this twinge, this nagging feeling something was missing. I thought that it was because our relationship set a really high bar and therefore the expectation was impossible to reach. Bottom line, Odette and I got along and there were no compelling reasons for us to break up, and yes there was pressure from our families but in the end, we both felt getting married was what we were meant to do."

"And then it wasn't?"

"No, and then it got very, very, confusing."

"And that happened when?"

"Hamburg."

"Oh."

"You told me last year that you never intended to start anything when we reconnected that day? Well, neither did I. When we were saying goodbye to each other in front of your hotel, I was feeling happy that after all we went through, we could be friends. And then you kissed me goodbye, and I totally lost it. Really, Rory, I was a wreck for a week. It was the first time I seriously questioned my relationship with Odette."

"So how did you reconcile that?"

"Cold feet? I mean isn't that the standard answer? I thought I was just nervous about getting married. I mean doesn't everyone have doubts at one point or another? I had genuine feelings for her Rory, I realize now that it was not in the way that would have made us totally happy, and that I was in a way settling, but I loved her enough to go ahead with the "dynastic plan."

"And then, I came to London on that assignment..."

"...And blew everything to bits. I would have left her for you, but you brought up the 'Vegas' thing, which to me indicated that you were not interested in going the distance. Anyway, after that encounter, I seriously thought that we were done. I was disappointed, but I thought I could move on.

"Then my grandfather died and ruined everything," Rory interjected.

"Yes, I should have left it alone, but I could not bear not being there for you in some way. Richard was very important to you and I wanted to help. You know I almost flew back to Connecticut to be with you, but then I thought it would have been intrusive."

Rory gave an ironic smirk. "What?" Logan asked.

"The "Vegas" agreement. When I proposed it, I was also thinking that we would never see each other again. I have to confess though, in the month or so between London and my grandfather dying, I thought of you every day. There moments when I had to stop myself from contacting you.

But, when you called me after grandpa died, I was so happy and grateful. There was no one else I wanted or needed at that time other than you. Seriously, Logan, I wouldn't have made it through those weeks without you. It seemed that with every encounter we had the rule of "Vegas" were stretched."

Rory walked over to her kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. "Hamburg was a revelation to me as well," Rory confessed.

"Really?"

"Reconnecting in that cafe was surreal. I so happy to see you. The way things ended between us, the lack of contact all those years, I thought you hated me. I felt so glad and so proud when you told me about your life and was genuinely elated when you told me that you were engaged; All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. But then the day ended. After you dropped me off, I went to my hotel room and cried, because I felt like I lost something. I almost didn't call you when I went to London that first time, but I did and you know the rest."

Looking at Logan, Rory continued, "I proposed the Vegas arrangement because I was not in a good place then Logan, I was very lost. Being with you made me feel "found"? But then I didn't want you to be the sole reason for me to "found" I needed to find my balance on my own. Anyway, you were engaged, I didn't want a lovely yet seemingly impulsive night to ruin your life. I couldn't be responsible for that."

"You can't take all the blame, Rory, I should have told you what I was thinking."

"Why didn't you?"

"You seemed so set on the whole idea of Vegas. That and the memory of you turning me down When I asked you to marry me made me scared. I thought that we were back to where we were, that didn't you feel about me the same way I felt about you."

"Back then, when you asked me to marry you, did you think I said no because I didn't love you? That was so not true Logan! I said no because I wasn't ready for the exact life you wanted, not because I didn't love you."

"I know that now. At that time I was embarking on a totally uncharted path and I was terrified. But I thought with you with me I would have been ok. That fight we got into earlier this year made me realize how unfair I was to you. I really wanted to marry you Rory, but the conditions of that proposal put a great burden on you."

"I missed you so much during that time. So many weird and wonderful things happened following the Obama campaign. I was so sad not to have been able to share that with you. I wondered what would have happened if I had fought harder for you. But, you seemed so determined to fulfill your plan, and you seemed so angry with me for saying no, so I worked hard to let it go."

"Rory, " Logan asked soberly, "would you have said yes If I gave you that space you needed?"

Rory was quiet for a moment.

"Yes, I probably would have."

The two of them sat there silently digesting what was said, thinking about what could have been. Finally, Logan broke the silence, "And yet, here we are, together again. What now Rory?"

Rory looked at Logan. Yes, Rory, she asked herself, what now? "Now?" Rory responded, "Now I have to pack for my trip."